By Chance
by Katraa
Summary: Sora thought it was bad enough that Cloud was dumping him off for a month at his best friend’s house, but what’s worse is that Sora somehow got his diary mixed up with someone’s romancefilled notebook… [riku x sora][side leon x cloud]
1. the plan

All right so I had this story idea and I felt the need to write it. Let me tell you this, I have never been this _excited_ to write a story than I am to write _this_. I can't even express how giddy I am and whatnot. So I hope you enjoy this story and enjoy it as much as I. The summary is below. It'll show you what this story is basically about. There are many twists and realistic stuff and yeah.

**Summary**: Sora, Cloud's younger brother, is being forced to move in with Cloud's best friend for an entire _month_. Cloud is going to Bermuda with his boyfriend, Leon, and is afraid of leaving Sora by himself (seeing Cloud is Sora's legal guardian). Sora only agrees to go because he cares about Cloud's happiness. On the subway to Clouds friend's house, he loses his diary (one of the most important items he has). Sora then discovers that he has a romance-filled notebook. If that wasn't the worse part... his new room-mate, Riku Karada, secretly has his diary. Poor Riku. If only he knew that Cloud's innocent brother has his romance blog. Now if only Riku and Sora would just get along... but what is Sora planning?...

* * *

**By Chance**

"You're doing _what_?!"

Sora instantaneously dropped his bowl of fruit after hearing what his older brother had to say. Did Sora's ears betray him? Was he suddenly unable to process what Cloud was telling correctly? Sapphire hues (the most _extravagant_ blue eyes ever to be seen) widened shortly after his out-burst. The bowl lay shattered on the ground, at the brunette's feet. Shards of blue-painted glass lay haphazardly on the kitchen floor, making the room look more like a war-zone than a 'family-kitchen'.

"Sora," said the rational voice. "It'll only be for a month."

"You're going to leave me with someone I don't _know_ for a month?!" Sora hollered, his voice strained.

A groan passed the other form's lips. A tanned hand rose up and began massaging temples, as if to ward away the frustration. Paler blue eyes opened once again as they settled upon the brunette across the room. "Sora, you know how much this vacation means to me. It'll only be for a month."

"Why can't I just stay _here_?" Sora demanded, eyes still as wide as they had initially been.

A sigh now elicited from the blonde's lips. "Because I don't want you here alone. It's not because I don't trust you. I do trust you, Sora. It's just the burglars and kidnappers I don't trust. They're on my 'Avoid-At-All-Costs' list," Cloud explained insistently, eyes settling upon his younger brother.

"I'll lock the doors!" Sora suggested, flailing his arms in the air dramatically. "I'll lock the doors and stay in here the whole entire time! No one will hurt me and I won't have to go live with your friend!"

"I'd feel better if he was looking after you," Cloud persistently replied, his blue eyes narrowing.

"Cloud! This isn't _fair_!" Sora whined loudly, raising his hands to pull at his brown locks of spiky hair. "I don't even _know_ your friend! He could … rape me for all I know!"

"He's not going to _rape_ you, Sora. He's been my best friend since I was eight," Cloud reasoned, shaking his head in dismay at his brother's immaturity. "He'll take good care of you."

"I'm _seventeen_," Sora pointed out bluntly, his voice unwavering. He would not be swayed by Cloud's stubbornness.

"And I'm twenty-four, get over it," Cloud grumbled. "Listen, he's nineteen and by far the most responsible person I've ever met. Safety means a lot to him, so you'll be safer with him than at Fort Knox's."

Sora frowned at the trite comparison. "He's barely a _year_ older than me, Cloud!"

"But _he_ has his license, a job, and his own place," Cloud retorted.

"…So?" was Sora's brilliant answer.

"Sora," Cloud stated firmly, walking over to his younger brother. The blonde made sure not to step on any shards of glass. Doing such would be an unwise idea. "It's only a month. I haven't been able to spend quality time with Leon for five months now. I… miss him," Cloud admitted, as if embarrassed by the prospect.

Sora took a moment to ponder this. "I still don't see why I just can't stay here…"

"We live in New York, Sora. The crime rate here isn't the best, you know that," Cloud explained, looking Sora sternly in the eye. "Can you please do this for me, Sora? You're my reasonability and I don't want anything bad to happen to you while I'm gone."

"…You really miss him that much, huh?" Sora asked, his tone turning softer. Blue eyes suddenly sympathized with the older. After a long moment of deliberation, Sora mumbled out a, "Fine…"

"Thank you, Sora," Cloud breathed in relief, pulling his younger brother close for a hug.

"Whatever, Cloud," Sora sighed into the embrace. "Can I at least know my warden's name?"

"His name's Riku," Cloud said as he pulled out of Sora's arms. Carefully, the blonde made his way around the kitchen, tip-toeing as an extra precaution. "I'm leaving tomorrow afternoon. I went ahead and bought you a ticket for the subway. It'll take you right to his block," Cloud explained.

"I have to take the subway?" Sora groaned, staring in astonishment at Cloud. And disbelief, if you wanted to be precise.

"Cheaper than a taxi," Cloud explained. The blonde brother snagged a broom from the far corner of the kitchen. He then promptly began sweeping the shards of glass into a pile so that neither of them would have their feet punctured by the sharp edges. "Thank you again, Sora."

"Yeah…" Sora sighed, nodding dismally at Cloud. "Where are you and Leon going anyhow?"

"Bermuda," Cloud automatically answered, swaying his hips back and forth as he swept, as if in time with some inaudible beat. "I've never been before, but Leon says it's great this time of year."

"I've seen pictures," Sora confirmed with a faint smile. "You sound really excited."

"I am," Cloud concurred.

"Just don't come back home eloped," Sora hummed, forcing himself to sound chipper and up-beat. Just for Cloud's sake.

Cloud proceeded to shoot an annoyed glare at Sora. "We've been dating for two years. Marriage isn't something we're planning on. Wouldn't be an easy thing to do, even if it was," Cloud mumbled, making his way over to the faucet to draw himself a glass of water.

"You could always go to Las Vegas," Sora pointed out with a shrug of his shoulders.

"We c-," Cloud began and then narrowed his eyes at Sora. "I am not going to discuss my personal life with my brother, thank you." With that, Cloud rose his hand to 'shoo' Sora out of the kitchen. "Start packing, would ya?"

"Fine," Sora groaned, leaving the room to head to his bedroom.

Perhaps for the last time for quite some time.

**x**x**x**x**x**xx**x**xxxx**x**x**x**

Sora curled up on his bed as a displeased sound fell from his lips. Blue eyes narrowed at the wall facing him from across the room. It was a light tan color with a few pictures of him and Cloud on it. No pictures of his parents, though. Cloud never really discussed their parents … Sora didn't question it, at first. Cloud always changed the topic and refused to supply his younger brother with information about the dead spouses. Maybe Cloud just didn't want to bring up painful memories?

"Oh well," Sora mumbled as he reached under his bed for a book.

In his hands now rested a dark-maroon notebook. The metal binding was slightly bent out of shape and tarnished. However, the maroon-colored cover was clean and new-looking. Sora kept his things in good condition. The little he had he cherished and protected. Besides, the red notebook was practically his _life_.

Inside the massive notebook continued a small excerpt for everyday, starting a few years ago. Each day he'd write a small recap of the day. Or just its highlights. The entries were rarely a page, usually a half of one. Sometimes less, depending on what happened that day.

"Let's see…" Sora grabbed for his pen and opened to a new page.

"June twenty-second," Sora mumbled as he wrote the date in oddly neat handwriting across the top of the page. "…This one's going to be long I guess," he murmured as he laid down, on his stomach, on the bed and began to write.

Sora had a tendency of talking aloud (or muttering) when he wrote. It kept his thoughts in check. "Cloud informed me today that I'm going to have to spend a whole _month_ with someone I don't know. I mean, he's Cloud's best friend and I've yet to ever see him. Cloud never invites people over… I think he's a bit embarrassed by me. I've only ever seen Leon when he offered to bring us to dinner. Leon's a nice guy I suppose. I mean, he's bringing Cloud to Bermuda for a month… so I guess he really loves him… I'm just happy that my brother's happy now."

Sora scrunched his nose up and twirled his pen around on the paper, thinking. "I haven't talked to Tidus for a few days now," Sora wrote with a frown appearing on his face. "He said he'd call… but I assume that he's too busy with his friends down in Florida…" Sora trailed off, writing the word "Florida" with envy pouring from his fingertips.

Sora carefully placed his pen on the notebook before sitting back. Blue eyes danced around his bedroom in silence before he whispered, "Leon's going to Bermuda, Tidus is in Florida… and I'm going to some guy's house… Some way to start summer vacation."

Sora reached for his pen and brought the notebook up and into his lap, figuring it was easier to write that way.

"I've really only agreed to this for a few reasons. The main being that I've never seen Cloud this happy. I want him to enjoy himself and spend time with Leon… I suppose that I owe him this. I mean, he's been taking care of me for a little less than eight years now. Least I can do is accommodate him, right?"

Sora frowned at his notebook and shook his head before setting down the pen for a second time. "Who am I kidding?… I want to do this for Cloud, not because I owe him. I just wish he would trust me more…"

An idea struck. Sora grinned and grabbed the pen rapidly again, as if it hadn't departed his grasp in the first place.

"Cloud tells me that I'll really like the other part of town… The one where the subway is bringing me and whatnot. Cloud told me that the guy I'm staying with will probably bring me shopping and sight-seeing. I'm… not sure if that's true or not. I've never met the guy in my life. For all I know, he'll hate me… I mean, I don't really get along with anyone outside of Tidus and Cloud…"

The frown grew. "Maybe I'm just destined to live with Cloud and Leon my whole life. Someday they'll marry and I'll be forced to move and get my own place. I haven't even started to think about college yet… I thought graduating high school would be exciting, but it's horribly boring."

The frown just kept frowning. "I know that we don't have enough to pay for my college. I wanted to do something cool. Not sure what, really. Unlike most people, I never had any certain job _call_ to me. Nothing really appeals to me…" Sora pressed the tip of the pen after his sentence into the paper, thinking of what to write next.

"I'm just hoping that things will work out," Sora concluded and scribbled his signature below the few paragraphs.

With a defeated sigh, Sora closed his notebook and began packing.

**x**x**x**x**x**xx**x**xxxx**x**x**x**

"Now Sora," Cloud said, messing with Sora's jacket so that it didn't hang off of the brunette's right shoulder.

"When you get to Riku's, make sure to call me. I'll have my cell phone on. I'll probably be on my way to the airport to meet up with Leon. If for some weird reason I don't pick up, leave a message and let me know you're safe." Cloud ran his fingers playfully through his younger brother's hair as a fond smile appeared on his lips.

Sora's grasp tightened on the handle of his suitcase. If it hadn't been for the wheels beneath it Sora probably wouldn't be able to lug the heavy thing around. "All right, Cloud," Sora answered taciturnly.

Cloud frowned when he noticed his brother's sudden sobriety. The blonde figured that Sora really wasn't keen on the whole idea. "Take the 180 to Fifth Street. Get off at the Fifth Street stop. After you leave the subway, take a left, follow Fifth street until you get to the corner. You'll see a street sign that says Destiny Avenue. Go on that and his apartment is the second building on the left. His number is 33. Got it, Sora?"

"Yeah," Sora said with an uncertain nod. The brunette quickly committed the directions to memory.

"I'll be back July 24th to pick you up, all right?" Cloud informed Sora, his hand resting on his brother's shoulder.

"All right," Sora answered with a swift nod.

"Don't give Riku a hard time, please. He's a hard working man and he's doing this out of the kindness of his heart," Cloud said, optimism in his voice. The blonde hoped that perhaps Sora would take his advice. _Hoped_, at least.

"Okay," Sora replied curtly, keeping his responses terse.

Cloud sighed and let go of his younger brother. "If you need anything, if you have any questions, don't hesitate to call, all right?" Cloud reached over and tucked a hundred dollar bill into Sora's jacket pocket. "Use that on what ever you want."

Sora blinked in surprise. "Thanks, Cloud."

"Promise you'll behave?" Cloud requested as a few people passed by the pair at the entrance of the subway's stairs.

"I'll do my best," Sora replied vaguely, fingers flexing against the cold handle of his suitcase. "Make sure you and Leon have fun, okay?"

"Of course," Cloud said with a affirmative nod and then glanced wearily over his shoulder to the awaiting taxi. "I better be going." Hesitation was apparent in the brother's eyes. It was obvious that Cloud hadn't left his brother for more than a day alone. A month was a _huge_ step. A month with his best friend.

"I'll be fine," Sora said quickly, noticing the reluctance to go in Cloud's eyes.

"You better," Cloud murmured a bit soberly before leaning in to quickly hug his little brother. "I love you. Tell Riku I say hi, okay?"

"Love ya too," Sora grumbled and then added, "I will," in a mutter.

"Remember, call!" Cloud called back to Sora as he made his way from the brunette and to his awaiting yellow taxi. Sora nodded briefly before turning his back on his brother. Well… it was now or never, right?

…Sora had never been on the subway before so he figured this was going to be an exciting entry in his notebook… if he survived the trip.

**x**x**x**x**x**xx**x**xxxx**x**x**x**

After thirty-minutes of aimlessly walking around in a pathetic attempt to find the right subway, Sora finally asked a security guard for help and directions. The guard happily pointed Sora in the left direction and informed the brunette that it was down that way. Surprisingly, Sora found the correct connector. Quickly, he entered the dimly-lit subway, dragging his wheely-suitcase behind him.

Without a word to anyone, Sora took a seat next to a man who was quite absorbed in a conversation with a blonde-haired female. Sora paid them no heed as he reached for his suitcase. Dexterously, Sora removed his notebook and pen.

The best thing to do was to keep to himself, right?

Sora opened the notebook and began writing. He was meticulous, constantly scribbling things out only to rewrite them with slightly different wording. Sapphire hues remained glued to the entry, never straying away, not even for a second. The brunette whispered the words as he wrote under his breath, making sure not to disrupt anyone who was around him.

When he had reached the sentence _And that's the plan…_ the subway had stopped at his stop. Sora quickly snapped his pen shut and placed his notebook on his right. Sora then turned away from it and began fussing with zipping his suitcase up. Ironically, the zipper was stuck so it took the brunette a few moments to wiggle it free.

With a relieved sigh, Sora quickly grabbed the dejected notebook from the seat, not noticing that it was _slightly_ different than it was before.

Sora paid no heed and left the subway quickly, following Cloud's directions faithfully.

**x**x**x**x**x**xx**x**xxxx**x**x**x**

Sora had never been to this part of the city before. They hadn't even _drove_ through it before. Beautiful apartment buildings lined the streets as fancy cars drove by the sidewalk. Sora looked around sheepishly as he exited the stairs from his earlier location. This place was magnificent and grand compared to his and Cloud's small place in the other part of the city. A frown appeared at once on Sora's features. If they couldn't afford a place like this … there was no way they could afford college for him.

People eagerly pushed past Sora, keen on getting to their own destinations.

Sora snapped back into reality when he realized he had been standing there in awe for over five minutes. A light blush slipped onto his cheeks as he turned to the left, as instructed by his older brother.

"This place even _smells_ better," Sora remarked to himself.

He walked slowly, not eager whatsoever to meet his new warden. Thoughts of Tidus and Cloud danced around in his head as he walked. Thoughts of his computer back home… thoughts of emails … thoughts of instant messages … and finally thoughts of his last entry. Sora shook off the weary thought as he turned left at the corner.

"Let's see… Cloud said the second one on the left," Sora whispered.

The brunette froze when he saw how _extravagant_ the apartment complex was. It looked more like a loft or a pent-house or… something. Something out of the Victorian ages, somewhat. Sora's eyes widened and he timorously made his way up the stairs. "Who names their street Destiny Avenue," Sora muttered under his breath before entering the building.

Afraid that he'd just feel worse, Sora kept his eyes on the floor as he made his way towards the elevator. Next to the button, that was garnished with an arrow pointing up, was a small list. On it read the apartment numbers and what floors they could be found at. One through ten was the first. Eleven to twenty were the second. Twenty-one to Thirty were the third… and Thirty-one to Thirty-five was the fourth and final flour. The lack of rooms on that floor startled Sora. Were they… bigger than the others?

"Here goes nothing," Sora whimpered as he entered the elevator.

Inside, a man attired in a green suit smiled at him. Sora blinked and then looked down at his feet as he quickly jabbed the number four. A moment of silence passed the two males before the stranger decided to speak.

"The fourth floor, lucky. What number?"

Sora didn't like talking with strangers. "Thirty-three," Sora grumbled, a bit rudely at that.

"…" The man said nothing at first. Sora wondered if he said something wrong… not like he cared. "Are you his brother, perhaps?"

"No…" Sora mumbled. He was _Cloud's_ brother. And _only_ Cloud's brother. Sora felt proud that he was related to Cloud. Cloud was a good person and honest and just everything that Sora liked in a person. Sora was _glad_ he was Cloud's brother.

"Then what business do you have with him?" asked the man.

"…Why do you care?" Sora groaned, shakily glancing over his shoulder at the man.

"He usually never has visitors," replied the frigid male.

"That's great," Sora grumbled, turning his attention back to the closed doors.

"You're staying with him?"

"That's what the suitcase is for," Sora mumbled, rolling his eyes as his right hand held the notebook limply. "Is this going to take a while?"

"Just another few seconds," the male replied with a dissatisfied groan.

Sora sighed and flipped open the notebook, as it to refresh his memory of what he had wrote earlier. Terror filled Sora when he realized the hand-writing wasn't his own… It was … cursive and beautiful and… Blue eyes glued themselves to the words as he rapidly read over the page he had opened to.

_His kisses were addictive like an illegal drug. The way his nails dug into his other's back not only pleased the black-haired male, but it further aroused him. Everything in Scott turned to fire when he felt the thrus-_

Sora dropped the book in sheer terror. "P-p…"

"Excuse me?" the man asked as the doors opened.

"P-por…" Sora tried again.

"No, it's not pouring outside. The air conditioner is just always loud," the man explained, thinking that Sora's outburst had been because of the rattling that sounded similar to raindrops.

Sora took a deep breath, grabbed the book (out of innocent curiosity) and tugged his suitcase out of the elevator. The door shut with no good-byes from either men.

Sora collapsed against the wall next to the elevator. Trembling fingers reopened the notebook, flipping through it. _All_ of it was explicit scenes of…_gay sex_. Sora's left eye twitched as he snapped it shut, a dark red appearing on his cheeks. The realization that this wasn't his and that his diary was _gone_ suddenly hit Sora. "No!" the brunette screamed, falling to his knees in grief.

"I…I couldn't have lost it…" Sora whimpered, wanting to bang his head against the hallway's wall.

"I lost my diary…" he whispered dejectedly, hot tears appearing in his eyes. The one thing other than his best friend and his brother that he was attached to was _gone_. If he hadn't agreed to come here to stay for a month he wouldn't have lost it!

"I lost it…" Sora repeated, fingers digging at the tile beneath him.

Fueled by sudden anger, Sora shoved the explicit notebook into his suitcase and hurried down the hallway to number thirty-three. The brunette figured that he'd go in, find his room, and then cry for a bit. And then beat on a pillow. Then he'd be over it… Right?

Sora sighed as he rose a hand to knock on the door. Today couldn't possibly get any worse. It just couldn't.

Sora's mouth fell open as blue hues widened.

Standing in the doorway was the most _beautiful_ man Sora had ever _seen_. His body was that of a male model's… correction, it was _better_. He looked _angelic_. A shiver slipped down Sora's spine as he cautiously rose his gaze to meet aquamarine eyes that were staring uncertainly at him. "You must be Cloud's brother."

Suddenly the explicit notebook didn't seem as much as a temptation as the man before him.

Sora wasn't sure whether to damn Cloud … or to thank him. Either way, his jaw remained hanging for quite some time.

* * *

_review. i promise the next chapter holds many surprises and enjoyable tidbits._


	2. first day

_thanks to my lovely beta for proofing this chapter. also thanks to all the wonderful reviewers. you guys made the update fast! haha. so keep up the good reviewing job? i love your feedback so much._

* * *

**By Chance**

"You must be Cloud's brother."

Sora continued staring at the silver-haired stranger. Sea-green eyes complimented those silky strands of hair so _perfectly_. The stranger wore a tight black shirt along with a pair of faded jeans, making his muscular form more obvious. Sora wasn't sure why, but Cloud always had the most attractive friends. Cloud's boyfriend was handsome from what Sora saw of him… and here was Cloud's _best friend_. Damn. He looked more like a god than a human.

"It's not polite to stare," the silver-haired male said cockily, leaning his right hand against the doorframe.

Sora paled and then cleared his throat. The brunette lowered his gaze to the ground before grumbling, "I wasn't staring at you, jerk."

"Ouch…" said the other with mock hurt. Aquamarine eyes watched the brunette with amusement. "That's not a good first impression," remarked the stranger.

"Can you let me in?" Sora asked in a mumble, fingers tapping on the handle of his suitcase. All Sora wanted right now was to go into 'his' room and sob for a bit. Then he'd mentally retrace his steps and find where his diary was. Though, the most plausible place was the subway. Somehow he had gotten his switched with someone else's. This was going to take forever to find.

"Not before you tell me your name," hummed the stranger flirtatiously, silver bangs falling on his ivory skin. Those bangs accented his slim facial features, just adding to his overall handsome aura.

"Sora," the brunette muttered and smacked his lips together, gaze still on the tiles beneath him.

"Hm…" the stranger said, voice trailing off. "Girl's name and girl's body. Fitting. You _are_ a guy, right?"

"Hey!" Sora snapped angrily, gaze raising to glare darkly at the other. "Well, you look like a girl more than I do!" The silver-haired male _was_ beautiful. Probably prettier than most women, even. But Sora. Sora's body just _screamed _feminine. His hips, though, were _too_ curvy and he lacked that much muscle.

"You can call me Mr. Karada," the man hummed melodiously as he moved aside to let Sora in.

Sora hastily made his way into the vast apartment. Yes, it _was_ huge. Like triple the size of his and Cloud's. Envy suddenly overcame Sora as he narrowed his eyes. A _rich_ jerk. "That makes you sound old," Sora grumbled curtly.

"….Punk," 'Mr.Karada' concluded as he shut the door with ease. The thud echoed throughout the large apartment for a moment before the silver-haired male said, "Then just call me Riku."

_Yeah… that's what his name is, _Sora thought. "All right," he said quietly.

"So Cloudie left you in my hands for an _entire_ month," Riku said suspiciously, emphasizing the words a bit too much.

Sora set his suitcase against the wall and arched an eyebrow quizzically at his 'warden'. "He went on vacation with his boyfriend, that's all. I only agreed to this because I wanted him to have a good time," Sora explained in a tone that screamed resentment at his new acquaintance.

"Of course," Riku muttered with a lack of believing in Sora's words.

The silver-haired male made his way over to Sora promptly. When only a foot separated them, Riku began, "Let's set down a few ground rules, all right? You are not allowed out of here unless I'm with you," Riku narrowed his eyes a bit for some reason, "You're not allowed to use _anything_ of mine unless you ask," Sora flinched, "and finally, leave me alone."

Sora's nose twitched. "That'll be easy."

"Wise-guy, huh?" Riku challenged, green eyes becoming slits from irritation.

"I was just agreeing to your conditions," Sora replied emotionlessly. The brunette grabbed his suitcase again and wheeled it into the middle of the living room and awaited further instruction. "And I'll be sleeping where?"

Riku frowned. "And to think I thought you'd be like Cloud. Oh was _I_ wrong," Riku muttered crossly before crossing his arms.

Sora chose to ignore this. Cloud said to behave; getting into a fight (verbal or physical) would probably anger his older brother. So, Sora chose to hold his tongue and just stood there in an uneasy silence.

"Your room's down the hall, second room on the left," Riku explained and rose a hand to rub his temples. "Dinner's at six and lunch is at twelve. It'd do you good if you remember that."

Sora stared blankly at the older male and then nodded cautiously. Without another word, seeing that Sora didn't feel like wasting anymore time on his rude host, Sora made his way down the hallway towards his new bedroom. Once he had reached the designated door, Sora entered the room and dropped his body tiredly onto the bed. His leg extended outwards and kicked the door shut, the slam echoing for a few seconds.

"I'm so tired," Sora complained as he shifted onto the bed so that he could bury his face against the pillow. If he had his diary he'd _probably _be writing about how rude and inconsiderate his brother's friend was. But no, Sora just _had_ to lose it.

"How could I lose that?" Sora asked, voice muffled by the pillow. His brief diversion (and meeting) with Riku had drained him of the scant amounts of energy he had left.

Though, the idea of the notebook galvanized Sora. The brunette cautiously rolled onto his stomach and reached with his right arm towards his suitcase. After a moment of pointless fumbling, Sora withdrew the maroon-notebook. Curious eyes timidly opened the book to the first page.

_Since I really have no other place to write these sort of things, I figured I'd write them here. They're mostly just the inner 'romantic', if you will, inside of me that needs to be let out once in awhile. Writing these seems to take my mind off my _real_ desires. If I close my eyes and imagine all of this happening I can go on another day without a significant other. If I just write about my fantasies, I can contain myself._

Sora blinked. So this was someone's personal journal… like his diary? Except that this person wrote short excerpts in addition to their entries? Sora wearily continued reading seeing he had nothing else to do.

_My parents divorced when I was six. Apparently my father was never really in love with my mom. For good reason, too. My dad's now married to a man. _Sora blushed lightly at the idea._ My mom's single and dating people on the side. She's still trying to find her prince-charming, I suppose._

_I grew up with my father, so naturally I became interested in the male gender a lot more than I should have. It wasn't until I was fifteen that I admitted to myself and the world that I wasn't at all enthralled by the female body. In fact, it appalled me. _

"Sora?"

Sora lifted his head from the book and glanced at the closed door. Sora quickly snagged his pillow and placed it on top of the notebook. Sapphire hues stared timidly at the door before he muttered out a moody, "What?"

"Your brother's on the phone. He wants to talk to you," Riku said behind the closed door.

Sora went pale. "I was supposed to call him!" Sora slurred in a frantic voice. The brunette jumped off the bed and ran towards the door, throwing it open.

Sora hadn't been expecting Riku to be still standing there. The brunette teenager nearly tackled the silver-haired male to the ground, thinking that he'd be in the living room by now. Surprised aquamarine eyes met blue ones and then quickly shot away. "Here's the phone," Riku said as he grabbed Sora's wrist.

Sora watched as Riku slid the phone into his hand, their palms touching briefly. All of Sora's earlier admiring of the silver-haired man had gone out the window. Now all he felt was irritation and rage towards the man. But that didn't stop the tingles that shot up Sora's spine from the electric-like touch.

"Thanks," Sora whispered, no gratitude evident in his voice.

Riku narrowed his eyes, knowing that Sora was just _saying_ that to be polite. "Inconsiderate punk," Riku concluded as he stormed away, back into the realms of the apartment.

Sora watched as the male left. Riku seemed like an angry and rude person… that was what Sora had figured out so far. Not giving the other another thought, Sora rose the phone up to his ear. "Hello."

"I told you to call, Sora," Cloud nagged.

"I'm sorry!" Sora quickly interjected, leaning against the door-frame.

"…It's all right. As long as you got there safely," Cloud said and then sighed deeply. "How do you like it?"

"It's big," Sora noted as his curious eyes glimpsed up and down the hallway. The hallway was long and huge and… the apartment looked more like a house than anything else.

"Haha… yeah, I know," Cloud remarked with a laugh. "So you've met Riku?"

Sora frowned. "I have…"

"You don't sound too elated," Cloud noted quietly.

"Cloud…" Sora looked down at the ground, a bit ashamed to be saying what he was going to. "He's a jerk and he doesn't like me. He called me a _girl_."

"I'll talk to him?" Cloud suggested, sounding a bit worried.

"Nah," Sora sighed. "This is my own battle. I'll be fine, though. Don't worry about me, okay?"

"I'm sure you'll get along with him," Cloud said hopefully. "He's an amazing friend. I just wish you could see what I see in him," Cloud trailed off, a bit melancholic.

"Maybe if I was older," Sora grumbled, slumping his exhausted body further against the door.

"Perhaps… Anyway, how was the ride over?"

"Horrible," Sora groaned. "I got lost and almost missed the subway. And then I almost got lost coming here. It was a nightmare," Sora concluded in a sigh. "Where are you and Leon?"

"We just got to the airport," Cloud explained. In the background Sora could hear Leon talking to someone. His voice was unmistakable. "I can't stay long, though. I just wanted to see how you were getting along."

"I'm doing fine," Sora admitted. Nothing_ too_ bad had happened other than losing his diary. And Cloud didn't know that he even _had_ one, so mentioning that to his brother would be pointless.

"I have to go now, Sora. You should ask Riku to play the piano for you," Cloud suggested.

"…I doubt he'd do that," Sora replied honestly, wincing at the idea of asking the silver-haired anything. Even where the bathroom was sounded like a dangerous question.

"Well, once you guys are on better terms," Cloud reasoned. "Now I better be going. We're going to board soon and Leon needs to… talk to me," Cloud paused, as if doing something.

Sora frowned a bit. "Have fun. Call when you get there, okay?"

"Can do. Bye, Sora. Love ya."

"Love you too," Sora whispered, a tinge of guilt in his chest as he hung up the phone. With a sigh, he closed his eyes. A thought occurred. "…what do I do with the phone?" Sora whispered. Eyes opened and stared at the black device with speculation. "I'll just keep it in my room," Sora decided as he re-entered the room and closed the door behind him.

Sora placed the phone on the bureau and then laid down. Within moments he had entered a light slumber. In his dreams he was home… in his dreams everything turned all right. In his dreams … he wasn't afraid of the inevitable.

**x**x**x**x**x**xx**x**xxxx**x**x**x**

Riku grumbled something incoherent under his breath. Cloud's brother was so inconsiderate and rude and just everything that Cloud _wasn't_. Riku sighed in vexation. There was no way he was going to survive having the runt in _his_ house. Having Sora there meant no random late-night drinks, no friends over, and certainly no 'HBO specials'. The last thing he needed was Sora telling his older brother that his best friend, was in fact, a hormonal pervert. … In some aspects.

Riku yawned and walked into his bedroom, grabbing his maroon notebook from the bureau. The silver-haired male reached for his pen before he laid down. It took him a few moments to find a comfortable writing-position. When he finally did, he flipped the book open.

"The hell?" Riku declared.

This wasn't his writing. Arching a brow, Riku flipped to the front page. With an interested look he began to read.

_Dear Diary,_

Riku sniggered at this.

_Tidus bought this for me. He said it'd be a nice place to write down all my feelings and thoughts and stuff. I mean… guys aren't supposed to have diaries?… Right?… Oh well, not like anyone is going to read this. Any how, I suppose I should start with the basics. My name's Sora Kayaki, single, fourteen, and not quite sure about my sexuality._

"This is the runt's diary!" Riku declared with a perverted grin. "…He's seventeen, right?… He must have had this for awhile… How'd I end up with it?" Riku asked, blinking in confusion. "He must have left it lying around when he came in," Riku concluded and went back to reading.

_Cloud says I'll figure it out eventually. I guess. I've never really liked anyone before so I just don't know. I mean, I don't really see anything exciting about girls. They're just like … not exciting…_

"I bet you he's as gay as Cloud now," Riku decided with a smirk.

_I've never said anything to Tidus about it. He'd hate me. He makes fun of the gay people in my school. I haven't talked to Cloud about it. There's nothing really to say, right?_

Riku stopped reading and glanced wearily around his lush bedroom. "I feel kinda bad having this," he murmured to himself. Figuring that he'd read the rest later, Riku close the notebook and placed it on the side-table next to his bed. Though, after a moment of deliberation, Riku grabbed the notebook and continued to read. He was far too enthralled with this blackmail to put it down.

_My parents died when I was nine. Cloud never really told me what happened. I just remember one night Cloud coming into my room and wrapping his arms around me. He pulled me into a tight hug and began whispering words of comfort. He was telling me everything was going to be okay. He was telling me that we'd be strong. He… refused to say what happened._

"Come to think of it," Riku stated in a drawl, "Cloud never told me what happened to his folks either." Riku shrugged it off and continued to read.

_So, Cloud's been taking care of me ever since. We moved out of our home shortly after our parents deaths. Cloud said we didn't have enough to pay the rent and whatnot. I asked him if we could move in with our Uncle, but Cloud refused to do such. My uncle and Cloud never got along. I think my Uncle hated him for liking boys.._

"I heard he punched Cloud a few times… sounds like my brother," Riku murmured to himself as he recalled a specific conversation with the blonde brother.

_If Uncle figured out that I was that way too… I'm sure he'd hate me. I'm… not sure if he does, now. He hasn't written or anything. Maybe he thinks I'm dead too? _

"That's kind of morbid," Riku muttered, eyebrows furrowing.

_The kids at school never really talk to me… they say I'm a freak because my big brother's dating their big brothers and whatnot… They say that not growing up with my parents is going to make me a bad person. I don't understand why… _

_Tidus has really been the only person to be my friend. I mean, the kid at school talk to me sometimes… but we're not really friends. We just talk… I guess that's better than bullying._

Riku was about to read on when he heard an unusual clicking noise. Riku paused and set the notebook down to listen. Upon further inspection he realized that the clicking was his mouse and… "The brat's on my computer!" Riku declared vehemently, annoyance spreading through him faster than a wild-fire.

**x**x**x**x**x**xx**x**xxxx**x**x**x**

Sora woke up about twenty minutes after having fallen asleep. He couldn't get back to sleep so he figured he'd go and lurk around Riku's apartment. Riku's door was shut so Sora assumed that his 'host' was asleep. Sora declared that the apartment was now safe for his inspection. So, unwisely, Sora began walking about aimlessly. That was, of course, until he came across the computer in the small room a few doors down.

"He said not to touch anything," Sora reminded himself but shrugged. "I won't be long…" Sora decided and walked over to it.

Gracelessly, Sora sat down and moved the mouse. At once the computer awoke from sleep mode. Sora lazily clicked the internet and leaned back in the chair. What to go on first… The brunette decided that if Tidus didn't call him then maybe he left him a message on Myspace…?

"I'll just check really quickly and get off," Sora concluded as he typed in the url quickly, and as quietly, as he could.

As usual, the homepage greeted him. Sora clicked Home, expecting to sign in. However, he was caught off guard when it brought him to the homepage of someone else… of….

Sora nearly fell out of the chair when he realized what Riku's display picture was of. It was him, of course, but he was _shirtless_. Sora paled and blushed darkly, rapidly clicking on random objects. The brunette was _trying_ to get out of the website but failed miserably. Riku's two hundred and eighty friends beat his twenty-five … it was almost pathetic.

"I thought kids like you didn't have a myspace," Riku taunted from the doorway, arms crossing against his chest.

Sora tensed up at once. The brunette's hand trembled as he held onto the mouse firmly. He had been caught in the act. He had been caught _touching_ something. Sora took a moment to muster his courage before replying lamely, "Well, we do."

"I saw you ogling over my display," Riku noted as he gracefully entered the room. Arms slung onto the back of Sora's chair, dangerously close to the brunette's body. Aquamarine eyes filled with amusement as he noticed the lack of color on Sora's face.

"Jerk…" Sora mumbled under his breath as he closed the window.

"I believe the term's 'jack off', and no thanks, I'm fine. But you. I wouldn't put it past you to after seeing my picture," Riku teased. A grin spread across the man's face. A slightly teasing and dark one at that.

Sora blushed a dark red. "I'm not!-"

"Gay?" Riku guessed, eyebrow arched. "Have a girlfriend?"

"No… But that doesn't mean!-" Sora tried to argue as he clenched his knuckles in frustration.

"Your brother's completely gay. I wouldn't put it past you to be also. I mean, I can't even begin to imagine all the gay pornos Cloudie has stashed around your place," Riku sniggered, watching Sora's face turn a shade darker.

"Cloud's not a pervert!" Sora declared aggressively. The brunette spun his head around to glare darkly at the silver-haired male. The notebook didn't even register in Sora's mind at this moment.

"All men are to some degree, dear," Riku replied with mock sweetness.

"How are you my brother's _best friend_?" Sora demanded. How could Cloud be friends with someone this cruel? Someone this vulgar? Sora didn't understand it one bit. This was only day one and he had to spend a whole _month_ with this monstrosity!

"Because I'm gorgeous, duh," Riku answered smugly before sticking his tongue out at the younger. The silver-haired male then promptly rose to his feet, making his way to the door to reside.

"You're a _jerk_ and _ugly_," Sora argued. He knew that the latter was not true. It was _far_ from the truth.

Riku tensed. Eyes narrowed as he shot an annoyed stare over his shoulder. "And you're fucking disgusting yourself," Riku declared vulgarly.

Sora wasn't sure if he should be scared or not. But for some reason, the insult struck home and boy did it hurt. Sora winced and did his best to glare back.

"Cat got your tongue?" Riku hissed, not amused whatsoever by Sora's naïve nature. "I thought I made it clear. Don't. Touch. My. Stuff," Riku reminded Sora in a violent tone.

"I just wanted to check my messages!" Sora argued as he sprung to his feet, ready to fight if need be.

Riku watched him with a lack of amusement. "You didn't ask."

"I didn't think you'd mind _this_ much," Sora grumbled as he looked to the right, unable to meet Riku's gaze.

"That's why I said _don't touch my stuff_. Do you not speak English?" Riku asked harshly.

Sora was at his boiling point. "Go die!" he yelled angrily before storming out of the room. The brunette shoved past Riku and scurried into his bedroom, slamming the door in the process.

Riku stood there for a long moment, processing what had just happened. Perhaps if Sora had listened to his rules he _might_ have been kinder to the brunette. But no. Ever since Sora arrived earlier this afternoon he had been rude and mouthy. Riku would not return rudeness with politeness. It was stupid to do such And he was _definitely_ not going to give the boy back his diary anytime soon. Why give up a valuable source of information? Blackmail, more like it.

Riku smirked and made his way back to his room.

**x**x**x**x**x**xx**x**xxxx**x**x**x**

Dinner that night, to say the least, was more silent than a library. Quieter than a memorial.

Riku twirled the saucy noodles on his plate around on his fork, not once raising his gaze to look at Sora who was sitting across the table. Aquamarine eyes remained fixated on his meal, never once straying. Sora, on the other hand, wasn't eating at all. The brunette stared dejectedly at his meal, rage and frustration bottling up. Tears of anguish filled his eyes but he refused to cry. The last thing he needed was for Riku to see that he was a wreck.

Riku didn't bother starting conversation with the boy. Not after their little fiasco earlier.

The phone ringing was the only thing to break the silence.

Without a word, Riku arose from his seat and made his way across the room towards the ringing device. Dully, he picked it up and answered, "Hello?"

Sora's eyes dared a look at the other. Riku was looking in the other direction - it was safe. Blue eyes scanned Riku's body with envy. Riku was _gorgeous_. Why did all the jerks have to be so damn _beautiful. _Cloud and Leon were really the only people Sora knew of that broke that rule. Regardless, Sora remained staring at Riku, completely enthralled by the other's body.

"No, I didn't know that actually."

Sora blinked as he silently wondered what the conversation was about on the phone. Blue eyes remained glued to Riku's form as he timidly poked at his dinner with his fork. It was quite hard to eat when your eyes weren't even in the vicinity of what you're trying to consume. Sora went to take a bite of the alfredo and somehow missed. The white sauce splattered onto his cheek as the noodle dropped onto the plate - its previous placement.

Riku, by now, had turned his attention back to Sora. A grin crossed the silver-haired male's lips when he saw the creamy substance on Sora's cheek. But the grin was mostly because Sora was staring at him. "See something you like?" Riku called as he covered the mouth-piece.

Sora blinked, scowled, and looked away. "Jerk…" Sora mumbled under his breath as he returned to attempting to eat.

After Riku ended his conversation he had returned to the dinner table. Once again it was silent. Well, at least until Riku spoke up.

"Do you have a staring problem?" Riku asked as he ate with little enthusiasm.

Sora blushed and glared down at his plate. "Do you have an attitude problem?" was his return retort.

"I could ask the same about you," Riku hummed. "Just because your Cloud's brother doesn't make me _have_ to like you. In fact, I can't stand you. And I've only known you for three hours. Just thought you'd like to know that." Riku gave a mock smile that only added to his loathing statement.

Sora felt saddened by the idea - just the slightest, however. "Well, you're a jerk."

"Is that the only word in your vocabulary?" Riku snapped as he set his fork down with vexation.

"Is it?" Sora answered as he arched an eyebrow.

"_I _let you come live with me while your brother's off gallivanting with his boyfriend. _I _offer to cook for you, to feed you, to give you shelter. _I _offer to keep you safe from the big-bad murderers and _you_ have the _nerve_ to act like an immature _brat_," Riku seethed, his fist banging against the table.

"I didn't _want_ to come!" Sora shot back, eyes raising to meet Riku's infuriated ones.

"Then why the hell _did_ you?"

"Because I wanted Cloud to be _happy_."

"Well damn, I wanted the same thing!"

"I want Cloud to have a good time and not worry!"

"Well, maybe he _would_ if he didn't have to spend his entire time looking after an ungrateful prick like you!" Riku hollered, completely infuriated at the young brunette.

Sora flinched. The words hit something sensitive in him. Tears began to form in his eyes again. For some reason, in his enraged state, the words seemed true. Maybe if Cloud didn't have to look after him he'd be happier. Maybe if he didn't exist Cloud and Leon could have a happy life together. Maybe if Cloud didn't have to look after Sora… he'd be able to move in with Leon.

"I hate you!" Sora shouted as he arose from the table and ran out of the room in an overdramatic flurry.

Riku blinked, having noticed the tears that fell from the young Kayaki's eyes. Confusion spread across Riku as he sat there. "Damn, I didn't mean to make him cry," Riku mumbled as he poked his alfredo.

**x**x**x**x**x**xx**x**xxxx**x**x**x**

"I hate this place!"

Sora violently began beating his pillow the moment he had entered his bedroom (the door having been slammed). Fists began to fly at the defenseless pillow. Tears of pent-up anguish flowed from Sora's eyes in the privacy of himself. The brunette's body trembled before he collapsed onto the bed. Whimpers and yells were muffled by the pillow, thankfully.

After five minutes of pointless death yells, Sora finally calmed down. Tears slowly drying, the brunette groped around under his pillow in search of the notebook. When he found it he flung it open and began to read, hoping it'd take his mind off things.

The small diary entry had ended and a 'scene' had begun.

_His breath felt so foreign against mine. Those emotionless and pale blue eyes stared at me. He was demanding answers. Answers that I could not supply him with. Desperation began to burn in his eyes as his hands reached out to grab me by my arms. Defenselessly, I submitted to him._

_Lips ravenously attacked mine, begging for some sort of relief. It hurt me not to return the affectionate kisses. It tore at me, it really did._

"_You broke my heart," I managed in a strangled sob as he began biting at my neck, wishing for normalcy._

"_And you broke mine," he answered darkly before he began openly sobbing against my chest. There he stood, face buried against my bare chest. Tears leaked from his beautifully broken eyes. It took everything in me not to wrap my arms around him. How could I hug the person who had destroyed my life…?_

Sora wasn't sure whether to be sad or embarrassed by the content. Unlike the first excerpt he had read in the elevator, this was less … smutty. It was more depressing and angst then anything else. Blue eyes stared at the notebook. Whoever wrote this was an amazing writer. And someone who had an understanding for those who had been abused and that had gone through hardships.

Sora, curiously, flipped the page and grinned when he realized it was another diary-like entry.

_You wouldn't believe how inconsiderate people are nowadays. I tried doing something nice for my brother and all I got in return was a hit to the jaw. Apparently he still can't accept my choice of genders. It isn't his right or place to complain. It's my god-damn life, not his._

Sora sympathized with the author. "Sounds like my uncle," Sora whispered.

Sora closed the notebook, noticing that the small paragraph was the last of that entry. Not really having the stomach to read anymore dark 'scenes', the brunette hid the notebook under his pillow. Vacant, blue eyes stared up at the ceiling as if it held his answer.

"I hope Cloud's happy…" Sora whispered as he drifted off into slumber once again.

**x**x**x**x**x**xx**x**xxxx**x**x**x**

Riku cleaned the dishes with an indescribable look on his face. "I didn't think he'd cry…" Riku repeated under his breath. If word got to Cloud that he made his _little brother_ cry then Cloud would never speak to him again. Sora meant the world to Cloud, Riku knew that. Perhaps he was a bit jealous. Jealous that he wasn't his best friend's focus. Perhaps he even had been a little out of place to have said the things he said.

The phone rang. It was nine.

Riku arched an eyebrow and made his way over to the phone (part of him wondered where his cordless phone was… Wait, didn't the runt have it last?…) Regardless, Riku rose the phone to his ear, "Hello?"

"Riku," Cloud sighed with relief. "Is Sora awake?"

"I'll check, hold on," Riku said emotionlessly as he set down the phone. Quietly (and quite considerately), Riku made his way down the hallway to Sora's room. The silver-haired male pressed his ear against the door and listened. All he could hear was light snoring. No sobbing. No mutters of hatred. Just sounds of sleep.

Riku allowed a faint smile to appear on his lips before he threw it away and made his way back to the phone. "He's passed out." _Crying can do that to you, Riku_, part of him said in a nagging voice. Riku chose to ignore this.

"When he wakes up tomorrow can you tell him that I made it safely to Bermuda?"

"Can do," Riku replied and yawned a bit, tired himself.

"Can I ask a favor?"

"Another?" Riku asked with mock irritation. "Hah, just kidding. What is it?"

"I know your issues, but can you please try and be kind to Sora? He's… been through a lot. I'm worried that if he doesn't feel safe there he'll do something drastic…" Cloud said, worry drenched in his voice.

Riku stared down at the ground. "He seems like a nice kid," he lied.

"Riku…" A sigh. "Please, can you do this for me? I know my brother's not the… kindest person in the world, but can you at least try and get along with him?"

"Ugh….fine," Riku answered with a dissatisfied sound. "Only because _you_ asked me to."

"Thanks, Riku," Cloud replied, obviously relieved.

"May I ask you a question about your darling brother, though?"

"Sure, what is it?"

"Is he…?"

"Gay?" Cloud guessed flatly.

"Yeah," Riku muttered.

"Sora's never told me," Cloud answered with a sigh of his own. "He's never dated anyone or shown any real interest in anyone his age…. So I wouldn't know. Why?"

"No reason," Riku answered.

"There's _always_ a reason with you, Riku," Cloud murmured with a bit of worry leaking into his voice.

"If you think that I _like_ the runt, you're mistaken. I don't date, remember?"

"How could I forget?" Cloud answered with a slight chuckle. "Any way, I better go. Just take my words to heart, okay?" And then Cloud hung up after the usual good-byes.

Riku hung up the phone, his fingers lingering on the device. Curiosity sparked inside the silver-haired male. Without another thought about the matter, Riku grabbed the phone and began dialing a number that had been committed to memory. A plan was in his mind, _obviously_. And now to put it into action. But… could he really tolerate Sora? This was going to be a challenge… rude people were _not _on Riku's good-side. Ever.

* * *

_Next chapter … Cloud and Leon on vacation, Riku and Sora still are having issues, and a guest stops by that only adds to the mess. _


	3. second day

I'd like to take a moment to thank my lovely Kamixyu for helping me distinguish between brunette vs. brunet. Honestly, I'm so dense that I had no idea that I was misusing the prior term. So yeah. Brunet and blond it is. Thanks to ALL the reviews. I love you guys sooo much.

* * *

**By Chance**

"You look worried."

Cloud, at this point, had been staring out at the ocean for five minutes straight, in silence. Blue hues that mirrored the sky remained fixated on the waves in the distance. His brunet boyfriend sat beside him with a look of concern etched on his usually stoic face. The blond finally pried his eyes off the water to look to his right at Leon. A shrug was his initial response. After a moment, that shrug was followed by the words, "I'm worried that Sora's miserable."

"Why would you say that?" questioned Leon. Brown eyes watched his boyfriend with curiosity and worry.

"Well, as you know, Sora's staying with Riku …. But I doubt they're getting along… This is Sora's vacation as well as mine and I'm just feeling bad that he has to spend the first month with someone he doesn't even know," Cloud mused with a heavy sigh. Feet dangled off the pier, lightly gracing the surface of the water. "Do I worry too much?"

"It's human to worry," Leon pointed out as he looked out to the sunset. "I think your brother will be fine. If he was having problems he would have told you."

"I suppose," Cloud answered in a grumble, obviously thinking too much. "The more I think about it the more I hate the idea that I left him with Riku."

"Why's that?" Leon looked back at Cloud briefly.

"They're opposites," Cloud said with yet another sigh. "Riku makes a joke out of everything and Sora's easily offended… And they both have a terrible anger-streak so I just…"

"If Sora's having problems he'll call," Leon said again. The brunet reached out and placed a hand on his boyfriend's shoulder, as if to bring the blond silent comfort. "There's nothing else you can do, Cloud."

"You're right," Cloud replied with a nod. "We're supposed to be enjoying this and I'm sounding like a homesick mother," Cloud laughed with a shudder.

"That's slightly disturbing to imagine," Leon answered with a faint chuckle.

"Shut up," Cloud murmured as he rolled his eyes.

The blond did not allow room for his brunet boyfriend to further argue for when Leon opened his mouth in objection, Cloud had already placed a chaste kiss to those thin lips. And for some reason, all his worry and fear and _love_ was conveyed in that simple embrace. And somehow, Leon knew that his boyfriend's troubled mind needed to be put at ease. But how?

That was the question.

**x**x**x**x**x**xx**x**xxxx**x**x**x**

Sora awoke with a painful throbbing in his head. If Sora had ever been drunk, he would have compared the feeling to that of a hangover. But, of course, Sora had not so therefore he just labeled it as annoying and bothersome.

Rarely did he ever wake up feeling worse than he had when he went to sleep. This was one of those rare occasions, Sora concluded in his mind. It took the brunet a moment to remember that he had been crying the night prior. No wonder… crying put a lot of stress onto your body. Perhaps that was why his eyes stung so badly and were heavy (threatening to close at any moment).

"What time is it?" Sora mumbled as he pulled the blankets tighter around his body. Blue eyes peeked out from the corners to glance at the digital clock by his bedside. Confusion overwhelmed him when he realized that it was eleven-thirty.

Never, in his life, had he slept so _long_.

"Wow…" the brunet whispered to himself as he yanked the sheets off his body.

Moments later Sora had maneuvered his body into a sitting position. Tired arms rose above his head as fingers laced together in some sort of a stretch. Sleeping that long made your body really stiff, he learned. Or was that another side-effect of the crying?

Sora, with a barely audible yawn, reached under his pillow for the notebook. He had nothing else _better_ to do… so why not read some? Besides, it was oddly addicting. Was it the content or the writing?… Sora was afraid of the answer.

_Fingers tightened their hold around his neck, dragging the older male onto his heated form. Lips met in the mix, passionately searching for one another. Tongues fought whilst fingers fumbled and raced at removing the other's clothing._

_The question in the younger's mind that kept repeating in a never-ending mantra was 'why does he love me?' . As far as the younger knew, he had done nothing to earn his friend's love. Nothing at all. All he had done was provide a release for the older's lust._

_So this was pure lust?… But he had told the younger he loved him…_

_Confusion swept up into the younger's eyes as an index finger trailed from his chest bone, down to his hipbone. Brown eyes flashed down to follow said digit, staring in anxiety (and excitement, to be honest). Eyes continued to watch as fingers curled around his oddly shameful arousal._

"_Do you lov-ve me?" was the stammered question from the younger._

"_Why?" answered the sex-driven older, black-haired male. Fingers, meanwhile, flattened and ceased their tantalizing ministrations._

"_B-because," stammered the brown-eyed teenager._

"_Do you love me?" questioned the older, throwing the question right back at the younger._

"_P-…perhaps."_

Sora blinked when he realized that his cheeks were a dark red. Nervously laughing, Sora shifted his eyes away from the notebook. Did Riku turn up the thermostat in the apartment? It felt a lot hotter than earlier… Sora exhaled sharply, uncertain why his breathing had quickened, or why he suddenly felt really light-headed. Not dizzy… just … light. It was weird to describe, and Sora had never been one for explaining how he felt.

"I can't believe I'm reading this," Sora said with disbelief. A pitiful laugh escaped his lips as his fingers strummed against the opened notebook.

Why was he even reading it? Sora's blue eyes glanced back down innocently at the book, hoping that it'd contain the answer to his burning question. "It's… not really that bad if it's written, right?" Sora wondered aloud.

"It's… not like I'm watching anyone or anything," Sora slurred as his cheeks burned at the sinful thought. "I'm…just reading someone's… stories." But that didn't make it any better.

Sora hadn't noticed until that moment that thirty minutes had gone by. Cerulean hues stared at the clock for a long moment before he remembered that he had to be prompt for lunch. Sora had just shoved the notebook under his pillow again when a weight landed back onto his shoulders.

He had to deal with Riku…

A strangled whimper fell from Sora's lips. If he showed Riku that he was weak, he'd never earn the other's respect. Not like he wanted it, or anything! He just didn't want to look like a cry-baby. It was always an accomplishment to be respected by your enemies, after all. And that's all Sora was trying to do.

Sora muttered something under his breath as he swung his body off the bed and down the hallway. No part of Sora desired to speak to his brother's best friend. Not after last night.

Was Riku even awake yet…?

**x**x**x**x**x**xx**x**xxxx**x**x**x**

Riku's eyes caught sight of the entering brunet. Aquamarine hues followed Sora's form, never once leaving the boy's body.

Riku was sitting at the table, reading the newspaper, of course. Papers were good for information and to inconspicuously look at people from behind them. _That_, Riku knew first hand.

Sora cautiously took his seat across from the table. At his spot was something that resembled a sandwich; though the bread was toasted and it looked a lot more appealing than the ones Cloud made. The brunet skeptically poked it, not daring to look at Riku. Riku, of course, took notice of this from behind his 'hiding-spot'.

"Your brother called and said he arrived safely," Riku murmured from behind the paper.

Sora didn't answer as he stared at his meal. If he wasn't as hungry as he was, he probably wouldn't eat the thing. But right now he was _starving_. Throwing caution to the wind, Sora picked up the sandwich and took a bite. The flavors exploded in his mouth. It was an unexpected, but pleasant, surprise.

Sora managed to eat his lunch in ten minutes in complete silence. No arguments. No glares. Nothing at all. The brunet wasn't sure whether to be worried or relieved. Regardless, Sora took his last bite and glanced aimlessly around the room from his seat.

Riku set down his paper, finally, and looked at the younger male. "My friend's coming over in a bit."

"Oh," Sora said flatly, not wanting to make eye-contact still. _I'm surprised he _has_ friends outside of my brother._

"She wanted to meet you," Riku explained as he leaned back in his chair. For some reason, something suspicious was written on his face.

"Why would she want to do that?" Sora asked as he forced himself to look across the table at his 'host'. Confused blue eyes met smug green ones and Sora looked down at his empty plate quickly. The plate was such a dull sight compared to Riku…

"She sounds interested in you," Riku mumbled, not really being specific.

"Interested…?" Sora echoed, eyebrows arching a bit timorously.

"She's a therapist, and-" Riku began but was silenced by the other.

"You want me to see a _therapist_?!" Sora blurted out as his eyes widened.

Riku's lips fell into an instant frown. Somehow their eyes had met, yet again. Sora looked completely enraged and flustered, and Riku just looked defensive and as 'sadistic' as usual. At least in the brunet's judging eyes.

"Did I say that?"

"You're implying it!" Sora snapped, his voice drenched with worry.

"Am not," Riku argued stubbornly as his frown turned into a scowl. "Like I'd waste my time on a therapist for _you_. She's been my friend for years now and she just wanted to _talk_ to you about her field and shit like that. _Besides…_ you'd need a lot more than a therapist to fix out your anger issues."

Sora narrowed his eyes at Riku. All right, so maybe the brunet had been quick to jump to conclusions, but the way Riku had worded it made it sound like he hired a therapist! So Sora was somewhat justified.

"I'm actually sad that I don't have any friends that work at a mental ward," Riku said with mock disappoint. Sea-green hues flickered challengingly, eying Sora.

Sora turned a dark red from anger. "You think I'm _insane_ now?"

"You get so pissed so quickly, yeah. I think that you have a lot of issues that you need to sort out. No wonder Cloud shipped you off to me. A _good_ brother would have brought you along," Riku said with resentment appearing in his voice. Sora just somehow _knew_ all the right buttons to push on the older to make him go off in a raged rant.

Sora just didn't know when to keep his mouth shut.

"Say that again!" Sora demanded as he sprung to his feet. "Cloud's the best brother in the _world_. He's a lot better of a person than _you_."

Something sensitive in Riku was hit by the verbal blow. The silver-haired male arose from his seat and promptly walked straight up to Sora. If Sora had been taller they would have been nose-to-nose. Instead, Riku glared down at the brunet as Sora mirrored the expression up at the silver-haired teen.

"You act like your brother's a saint. He's _not_. Sure, he's my 'best friend', but you know what? He's pretty-" Riku began but was cut short when Sora had suddenly shoved Riku.

The silver-haired male stumbled back a foot as he blinked in surprise. "You did _not_ just push me," Riku seethed.

"Don't talk about my brother like that! You… _selfish jerk!_"

How could you talk smack about your best friend? How could Riku be so inconsiderate? How could Riku tell him that he needed to be in a mental institution? They barely knew each other and they were acting like they had been sworn enemies since birth.

Sora remained standing where he was, his fists clenching at his sides. _He thinks he's such a great and gorgeous person. He's just a selfish idiot that my brother just happened to know all his life._

"I believe I did," Sora replied, not realizing how bad his voice was cracking.

"If I hadn't promised Cloud that I'd keep you safe, I'd throw you out right now. You come into my house acting like you know everything. And then you pointlessly get into these little fights with me. You're nothing more than an immature little boy," Riku declared as he crossed his arms.

"I'm _not_!" Sora hissed.

Sora thought he had a grip on his anger issues and his temper, but now it seemed like he hadn't gotten anywhere, because the next thing he knew he was running at Riku, pushing him until they both fell and hit the ground in a tangled mess of limbs.

"Get the _fuck_ off me!" Riku growled as Sora began throwing weak punches at Riku, to which the older teen easily dodged.

"I can't _stand_ you. You're such a jerk," Sora kept repeating as he threw his tired arms at Riku, hoping to make the other take back what he had said about him _and_ his brother.

"You. Have. Issues," Riku growled as he easily shoved Sora off him. The silver-haired male tried to get to his feet to end the _pointless_ fight but Sora wasn't giving up. Instead, the brunet punched him in the leg, making Riku's knees buckle.

"Damn…" Riku hissed as the pain subsided. "Fine. You want to fight? Then let's," Riku growled before he lunged at the fretting younger.

Within seconds Riku had Sora pinned beneath him. Loathing blue eyes stared up into aquamarine ones as their heavy breathing mingled. Riku's hair fell off his shoulders, lingering in the distance between both of their bodies. The silver-haired teen's fingers dug into the places on Sora's arms that he held the brunet down by.

"You know you're _really_ stupid, Sora," Riku enlightened as his eyes refused to break their intense contact.

"Why's that?" Sora slurred as he tried to wiggle free.

"You come into someone else's house only to fight and bicker. If you had been a _bit_ more polite when you came yesterday, _perhaps_ we would have gotten along better," Riku explained as he took heavy breaths. Unlike Sora, he did not allow his sudden rage to take form. Punching the younger Kayaki would certainly spell trouble.

Besides, Riku wasn't interested in fist-fighting.

"You called me a _girl_," Sora answered in his own defense.

"You called me a jerk," Riku snapped as he tightened his hold on Sora. "And then you used my stuff like I told you not to."

"You called me _gay_!"

"You called me ugly."

"You insulted _Cloud!_"

"You insulted _me_."

"Argh!" Sora hissed as he craned his neck to the right so that he wouldn't have to stare into Riku's eyes any longer. The brunette groaned, trying to free his arms of the other's hold. The effort worked to no avail, sadly.

"If you honestly think that you're going to spend an entire month here, you better smarten up and change your attitude," Riku demanded of the younger.

"Why don't you change yours?" Sora suggested, not really thinking about his retorts. If only he would just stop, shut up, and try and make a compromise with the other. They were both civilized beings. Why couldn't they just _get along_?

When Riku said nothing, Sora began to writhe once again. Seeing that freeing his arms wouldn't be a good idea (Riku was too strong…), Sora began to try and roll away from the silver-haired offender. Somehow, Sora had bucked his hips forward, hoping he'd push Riku off.

"S-sora…" Riku slurred suddenly, pleasure shooting up his spine.

Sora was too angry to take note of the tingling sensation he got from doing such things. "Get off me!"

Riku, who had tried avoiding such situations that would result in _this_ kind of feeling, didn't comprehend what Sora was saying.

"Get off me, Riku!" Sora hollered, freeing his arms.

Riku didn't even notice that the brunet had gotten his arms out of his grip. The silver-haired male was too busy trying to ignore his shortness of breath and his desperation to create that feeling again. Aquamarine eyes were a shade darker at this moment as ivory colored cheeks scorched a shade of red. Not from embarrassment, but from the heat.

"Fine. Be stubborn…" Sora groaned before he raised his arms in the air and placed them on the hovering teen's chest. Without warning, Sora exerted all his energy in pushing Riku off him.

Any other time it wouldn't have worked, but right now it did.

Riku tumbled off Sora and sat on the floor in silent compliance. The teen raised his hand from his side to head, rubbing his temples before sparing a glance at Sora who was getting to his feet.

"Cheap-shot," Riku mumbled from his placement on the floor.

"Huh?" Sora asked, blinking in confusion as he managed to stand.

"Using friction to your advantage. _Really_ manly, Sora," Riku muttered darkly as he arose from his sitting position.

Sora blinked, again, before turning a light shade of pink. Not really because of what Riku had said, but because of the chain reaction. The brunet's mind wandered instantly back to the notebook and the scenes. _Is that what… makes…_ Sora thought slowly before he realized that he had been staring at Riku.

"I'm going to my room," Sora announced quietly before scampering out of the room.

Riku sighed and then proceeded to bang his head down against his table. "Fucking male hormones. Fucking body getting horny. Fucking _Sora_." A pause.

"Augh! That sounded _wrong_," Riku groaned as he smacked his forehead. "There will be _no_ fucking of Cloud's idiotic brother." _No matter how captivating his body is._

**x**x**x**x**x**xx**x**xxxx**x**x**x**

"Sora…"

Riku knocked on Sora's closed bedroom door. The male's knuckle rested against the wood as he awaited a response. Naminé was here and he didn't want the blonde to be offended if Sora didn't show up. So, naturally, he was going to drag Sora out of the room.

"What?" Sora asked from behind the door, resting on the bed.

"Naminé's here. She wants to meet you," Riku said in an emotionless tone.

"I don't want to come out," Sora murmured.

"Sora, I'm not asking you to do this for me. I'm asking you to do this for someone _else_." Riku rested his forehead against the door. So many things were on his mind and Sora being stubborn was just adding to his problems.

"I'll be out in a minute," Sora finally said with a sigh.

"Thanks," Riku said. The older wasn't quite sure if Sora heard him, but he really didn't care.

**x**x**x**x**x**xx**x**xxxx**x**x**x**

"You haven't dated anyone since then?" Naminé asked as her pale and thin fingers held the coffee cup. Benevolent blue eyes stared quizzically at Riku, as if uncertain that what Riku spoke was the truth or not.

"Nope," Riku replied, a bit proudly. But was that pride justified? Was it a bad thing that he hadn't dated someone in three years?

"That's not healthy, Riku," Naminé said as a sad smile formed on her pretty lips. "Everyone needs to get out."

"I've gone on dates," Riku reasoned as he leaned back on the couch.

"Well… I suppose that's better than nothing," Naminé answered as she thought about his response.

The petite blonde set down her mug and crossed her arms. The female seemed to be lost in thought. Only when Riku cleared his throat did Naminé snap back into reality. A light blush appeared on his cheeks before she bluntly asked, "Do you like anyone currently?"

"Nope."

"Not a soul?" she wondered, sounding a bit unenthusiastic.

"Not a soul," Riku echoed with a stiff nod.

"Don't you get lonely?" Naminé asked as she smiled sympathetically at her friend. "Don't you miss having a boyfriend? Having someone to wrap your arms around... Having someone to sleep with, to kiss…" she trailed off, as if a bit saddened herself.

"You know that's why I write," Riku answered in a quiet whisper, as if he thought that the walls were listening. The idea that Sora _still_ hadn't come out wasn't even a factor in his mind.

"Writing isn't reality, Riku. It only can do so much," Naminé reasoned with her stubborn friend. "You're going to miss the real things sooner or later."

"I do…" Riku admitted a bit painfully.

"Since when?" She blinked.

"Never mind," Riku said curtly as he shoved the topic aside.

"Okay," Naminé replied with a sigh. "Where's your friend's brother, anyhow?"

Riku straightened up in his seat and glanced around the apartment. "I told him to come out here…" Riku groaned and then rested his head into his hands. "Damn, Naminé. You have no idea how frustrating it is to deal with him. He's more stubborn than I am," Riku explained.

"Have you _tried_ getting along with him?" she asked Riku with obvious concern laced in her kind voice.

"Tried," Riku agreed and shook his head. "He's just plain rude."

"A lot of people are rude," Naminé pointed out and shrugged. "I know it's hard, but sometimes you have to overlook people's flaws. Maybe you'll even want to be his friend if you can just overlook his rudeness? Perhaps you can even teach him some manners?"

Riku was about to reply curtly but Sora had entered the room. Aquamarine eyes settled upon sapphire ones at once. Sora nervously eyed Riku before timidly making his way over. The brunet then took residency in the vacant chair; his hands laced together in his lap, quite politely.

"Sora, this is Naminé," Riku spoke, biting back the urge to bring up earlier.

"Nice to meet you, Sora," Naminé offered as she extended her hand. A bright smile grazed her features. Naminé was kind by nature and knew how to get on a person's good side. She was, all around, a wonderful person and Riku often wondered why she never chose to date.

"Nice to meet you too," Sora answered, eagerly taking the hand.

Naminé smiled at him as their hands fell apart. Her eyes stole a glance back at Riku, as if to wordlessly declare 'See, Riku? Is that so hard?'. Riku mumbled something incoherent under his breath as he looked off towards the door.

"Riku told me you're staying with him for a month," Naminé said as she laced her own hands upon her lap. "I was wondering, if you weren't busy, if you'd like to come down and help out at the café with Riku and myself? Our friend owns the place and whatnot and we usually go down to help him out," Naminé explained.

Riku paled. "What?"

"I think it'd be nice to have a new face around there," Naminé retorted with that brilliant, and now stern, smile.

"Like a… coffee café?" Sora wondered, tilting his head to the side.

"Sort of," Naminé replied with a soft laugh. "It's a jazz café. We have a lot of people that come in to play. Saxophones, singers, that sort of thing."

The first smile that Riku saw on Sora's face appeared. "That sounds nice," Sora replied.

Riku was speechless. _He looks nice when he smiles_. Riku grunted and kept silent, not wanting to intrude on the others' conversation. Though, part of him wanted to interrupt and announce that he didn't _want_ Sora down at the café.

"Would you like to, Sora?" Naminé asked, never once mentioning her job as a therapist.

Sora felt a bit guilty for having jumped to conclusions so fast earlier. "I'd love to."

Riku wanted to smack his head, again, against the table. But he resisted. "I'll bring you later," Riku mumbled as he fidgeted in his seat.

Naminé eyed her silver-haired friend curiously. It was odd to see Riku so flustered and uneasy. The blonde figured it was nothing and labeled it as another _male-moment_. "So it's a plan." A grin appeared soon afterwards.

"Yep," Sora concurred and spared a nervous look to his right at Riku.

"It is…" Riku answered with a stiff nod.

**x**x**x**x**x**xx**x**xxxx**x**x**x**

Riku shut the door to his 'office' after he entered it. The silver-haired male had informed Sora that they'd be leaving at around five to head down to the café. That was all that Riku said to the brunet. What else was there to say? Apologies were not in his nature. But if Riku were to ever say something to Sora, something casual and friendly, what it would be was an enigma. Never to be solved.

Riku sighed and sat down in his chair as he turned on his computer. In his hands was Sora's diary. The guilt nagged at him. A small part of him wanted to give the brunet the precious notebook back, but a larger part denied him of doing such.

_Just for now_, Riku concluded mentally as he flipped it open and flipped to the entry he had left off on. By now he was countless pages in.

_Cloud, this morning, seemed awfully moody and different. He came home late… and he just went straight to bed, as if something was bothering him. I didn't bother asking. I knew he wouldn't tell me, anyhow._

_I mean, I love Cloud, really I do, but I sometimes think that I'm just a hindrance. He doesn't really have that great of a job, and I'm certain that he'd rather be away at college trying to get a better job than being stuck at home taking care of me._

_The kids at school call me selfish because of that… _

_I want Cloud to be happy; honestly, I do. But I just wish he'd talk to me more. We're brothers, we're family, we're close… but he always keeps things from me. _

Riku flinched. He knew _exactly_ what night Sora was talking about. Riku glanced up at the date, as if to confirm his suspicions. Riku winced when his suspicions were proven to be accurate. _Three years ago._ With a heavy sigh, he set the diary down and rubbed his head, as if suffering from a head-ache.

"Fucking Cloud," Riku muttered under his breath.

Trying to push the thoughts and memories aside, Riku snagged the diary and hoisted it back up to his eyes. The next entry was a few months later. Sora was, more than likely, almost fifteen or had just turned. Or something along those lines.

_Today I realized, for certain, that I really do… like guys. This boy… he kissed me out of nowhere. We promised never to talk about it again, but he kissed me. Is it right to feel kind of depressed after you get your first kiss? I kind of feel like I did something wrong. I feel sort of dirty, in a way._

_No one's ever really taken the time to explain things to me. Is it… right to be like this? It must not be, because so many people make fun of Cloud and whatnot. I… I don't think that they're justified, but I just wished that people could look beyond that. I … never want to tell any guy I like that I like him… I don't know if I'd be allowed to. Would he punch me? It's best just to keep my thoughts to myself._

_I just don't want to tell anyone. Not even Cloud. Besides, he doesn't tell me anything, so why should I tell him?_

"Well… there's my answer," Riku mumbled. A pang of understanding about Sora dawned on him. This was like a book into Sora's heart. A not-so-rude doorway into the brunet's mind and soul.

_Cloud's worried that my anger issues are interfering with my life. I mean, I don't get angry that often… but when I do I sort of explode. Like what happened at school with that guy Reno. He called me a fag, or something, and when someone told me what it meant and how much loathing he had put into the statement, I kind of just punched him and stuff._

_I've gotten into fights before … mostly regarding Cloud. He's my big brother; I have to stick up for him. _

_I've never been good with words, so fighting, I guess, is the only way to resolve things. Maybe if I was smarter or wiser I'd be able to change people's minds…_

Riku didn't even realize that this diary was affecting him a lot more than he wanted it to.

**x**x**x**x**x**xx**x**xxxx**x**x**x**

"Four days," Sora mumbled to himself under his breath. "Four more days," Sora repeated and then made his way into the hallway, down the hall. He was going to find Riku and ask permission to use his computer, but when he found Riku's room empty, he frowned.

"There goes that idea," Sora mumbled and sighed, his shoulders rolling into a shrug. "…I guess everything's fine…" More than likely regarding Tidus.

"Hey."

Sora froze as he stood in the hallway. Blue eyes cautiously glanced over his shoulders, timidly meeting nearing aquamarine ones. The brunet instinctively clenched his fists by his sides, trying to ward off the anger he felt towards the other. _He hates me and insulted Cloud… I just can't forgive him and pretend to be his friend_.

"You ready to head off?" Riku asked, his voice yet again emotionless.

Words of the explicit notebook danced around in Sora's head. _Maybe if I met the author I'd be able to talk to them about life… maybe I'd understand life a lot better_. "Yeah."

"All right," Riku replied quietly as he wandered away from Sora, motioning for the brunet to follow him.

Sora complied wearily. _Four days. Four days, Sora._

**x**x**x**x**x**xx**x**xxxx**x**x**x**

Sora was overwhelmed when he entered the café. It was _classic_. And modern.

The ceiling was a black color, almost a perfect shade. Though, if you squinted, there was a tint of blue. It was hard to detect, but Sora somehow managed to do such. The floors were a shiny blue color. Dark blue. The booths were black, matching the ceiling and contrasting with the blue floor. The tables and whatnot were a grey color, adding in to the overall color theme.

As Sora stood there, taking in the sight, he had somehow lost track of Riku. Not like he cared.

"Sora!" Naminé brightly called as she walked up to him. "I'm glad you made it!"

"I'm glad too," Sora concurred with an apprehensive laugh. Eyes continued to wander around the café before they settled up on a small, performing-like stage. It was nice. Microphones and whatnot were set up, as if they were expecting a singer later. Which they probably were.

"Here, take a seat and I'll get you a menu for dinner," Naminé said as she ushered Sora into a booth.

Sora hastily compiled and took a seat in the comfortable, large, black booth. Curious blue eyes gazed around the area, watching the people around him eat with smiles on their faces. _I wonder what they're smiling about…_ Sora wondered vaguely as he kicked his feet back and forth.

Sora had been lost in his thoughts that when an ivory key was hit, the brunet nearly jumped up and out of his seat.

Blue eyes skimmed across the room in search of the sound. Though, when he found the culprit, something in him sank (or did it swell…? Sora wasn't quite sure).

Sitting at black, ivory-keyed piano was Riku, silver hair neatly pooling over his shoulders. Bright aquamarine eyes were out of sight at the moment. All Sora saw was the side of his body. Those dexterous and nimble fingers began hitting the keys again, striking up a melody. Chords accompanying slurred and tied notes echoed off.

Sora blinked and stared at Riku, wondering aimlessly if he did this often.

All that anger momentarily melted away as he listened, watching Riku with envy and yet admiration. How Riku could play something so _beautiful… _How he could _produce _something almost as beautiful as himself, was astonishing. Nothing could rival Riku's bewitching looks, Sora decided.

And maybe if Riku would just let down his defenses, just for a moment, Sora would realize that just _looking_ at Riku made his entire body blush.

Maybe if Riku would just let _go_ of the past and the hatred and the cocky, empty words, he'd realize that all Sora wanted was someone to take the time to understand him. Someone that sat him down and said, "I care about you. I want to know everything about you. I want to help you. I want to be there for you."

Maybe if Riku stopped comparing Sora to his older brother he'd see that Sora was really the answer to his tear-soaked, secretly desperate, prayers.

All Riku wanted was to be saved from himself.

Now if only he'd allow someone the chance.

* * *

_Next chapter…Riku and Sora fight a bit more, but are getting closer to a resolve, Cloud informs Leon of a troubling bit of his history … Naminé introduces Sora to the workers at the café, and Riku takes advantage of his power, just for one last time. So leave a review. Please? All you lurkers, just leave one ;D_


	4. third day

_thanks to all the lovely reviews and to my lovely beta. so yeah. keep reviewing. it speeds up my writing. the next few chapters will show loads of development and such. I'm actually quite fond of this chapter. (the one after this, though, is my favorite...) any how, here we are! enjoy!_

* * *

**By Chance**

There was a tapping at his door. Not a knock—a strumming of fingers. The noise was barely audible.

"Sora, come out here," Riku requested presently, as if he had just weighed his options. The brevity to what Riku said wasn't a surprise to the brunet who resided in the room. Not one bit.

Sora automatically wondered what time it was. Not nearly time for lunch, so why was Riku bothering with him? Perhaps if Sora had been more attentive, he would have noticed the heavy breathing from behind the door that screamed abnormal.

Cautiously, the brunet maneuvered his lithe body up and off the bed and over to the door. Vigilantly, Sora rested his tanned hand on the doorknob, contemplating on whether or not to open it or to keep it closed. "What's wrong?" he settled upon asking.

"I wanted to talk to you," Riku said stolidly.

"About?" Sora asked curtly. If he had been smarter, perhaps he would have just complied to Riku's easy request. But no. This was Sora. He had to make _everything_ difficult for his new acquaintance.

"Just come out here," Riku grimly said.

Sora sighed and twisted the knob, allowing the door to open. Sora opened said door, allowing his body to step to the side when it swung in. It would have been a lot easier if the door swung into the hallway. That would have been convenient.

Standing in the hallway was the silver-haired pianist, glancing stoically at the brunet boy. Their eyes met—as they sometimes did, on occasion. Riku was the first to look away, settling his gaze on something much less appealing; namely, the floor.

"What'd you want to talk to me about?" Sora questioned gravely.

"Well, since you're staying with me, I figured you could pull your weight around here," Riku explained with a furtive sparkle emerging in his pools of a bluish green.

"… what do you want me to do?" Sora asked flatly, leaning his body against the door-frame.

"Clean," Riku stated simply. Perhaps a bit _too_ vaguely, because Sora arched an eyebrow soon after, as if he had not understood. "And since I don't want you dirtying your clothes with the dust and whatnot, I'll let you use something of mine. Is it a deal?"

Sora cautiously nodded his head. "All right?"

"Follow me," Riku informed the brunet boy.

Sora timorously did such. At first they walked fast, but then slowed to a saunter of some sorts. Both party members was silent. Riku lead them down the hallway to his bedroom, barely able to suppress a smirk that was bound to appear on his lips sooner or later.

"I doubt I'll fit into anything of yours," Sora pointed out negatively.

"You are awfully short," Riku agreed with a distant laugh. And not a friendly laugh, at that.

"Just because you're a _giant_ doesn't mean I'm _that_ short," Sora muttered resentfully under his breath. "Don't you like, have _job_ you should be at or something?"

"I work part-time down at Roxas' café. The one we were at last night," Riku explained in monotone as he pushed bedroom door open. "I _do_ attend college so it'd be difficult to hold down a full-time job. 'sides, I get a lot of my money from stocks."

"College… I'm surprised," Sora whispered jealously.

"Figured you would be," Riku mumbled stately.

The silver-haired male closed the door behind Sora. Hesitation flared in the brunet's blue eyes. Was this safe? Was Sora's earlier accusation the truth? Was Riku going to _rape_ him? An unsettling feeling took over Sora as he watched Riku began to rummage through his walk-in closest. Sora remained where he was by the bedroom door, just in case he needed to make a mad-dash.

"I hear your brother's having a good time," Riku called from the depths of the closest.

"That's good," Sora answered quietly, a bit uncertain why Riku was making casual conversation with him.

"It's really sweet of you to put your darling brother before you and allow him his own 'fun-time'," Riku said in a raised voice so that it would reach Sora. There was something in Riku's voice that made the kind words seem fake and more insulting than anything.

"Trust me, if I agreed to come live with someone like _you_ for a month, I'm pretty certain that I really wanted Cloud to have fun," Sora rambled in a disorderly fashion.

"That's good. At least I know now that you won't call your dear brother up and ask him to come home early because of me," Riku said a _bit_ too suspiciously.

"We've fought, you've insulted me, and you're a jerk and I haven't called yet," Sora replied pointedly.

"I love the emptiness of your words," Riku said with a hinted dash of interest in his voice.

"Emptiness of my words? What the heck does that mean?" Sora demanded as he willed himself not to move. Moving into Riku's closest with the man spelled doom. So thus, he remained standing by the door. By the safe-point.

"…never mind," Riku answered and emerged back into the room.

Sora's eyes widened. "What… is…. _that_?" Sora drawled in disbelief as he rose a disbelieving finger. The brunet then accusingly pointed it at the piece of clothing that Riku held in his grasps.

Sora had every right to be flustered. After all, Riku had said he was going to let Sora borrow something of his. But this, this was a _French maid's outfit_. This was something out of a cheap porno that degraded human beings. This was just not believable and Sora had to blink to make sure he wasn't seeing things.

"Oh, just what you're wearing," Riku explained casually as he closed his closest, allowing it to lock. The silver-haired male then sauntered past Sora, dropping the black and white outfit into his hands as he went. A smirk was plastered onto Riku's lips. "Only thing I can afford to get ruined."

"_Why_ do you have this?" Sora asked in a demanding voice.

"Oh Sora, the question you _should_ be asking is … 'Why _wouldn't_ I have this?"

"You're sick!" Sora breathed in vexation as his fingers dug into the frill of the outfit.

"It's my friend's," Riku explained with a faint sigh. "He wore it last year to the Halloween party, and then stashed it here for safe-keeping. The sick fuck probably thought that he'd somehow get me into it. _Yeah. Right."_

"So you're making _me_ wear it?" Sora wasn't believing what he was being told.

"I'd rather you not ruin my costly clothes, or yours, so there's the solution," Riku replied as he opened the door to his bedroom. He then promptly took a few steps into the hallway, eyes never leaving Sora's body.

"What could I possibly do that'll destroy my clothing?!" Sora hollered, eyes still wide with fear and apprehensiveness.

"Dusting… mopping the kitchen floor … cleaning the dish-washer and its filter… yeah, that sort of grimy stuff," Riku trailed off as his eyes met Sora's. "I think I'm being awfully fair."

"You're forcing me into a maid's outfit! How is this not registering as _wrong_ in your mind?" Sora demanded as he violently gave the clothing a shake.

"It's not like I'm making you wear a g-string with it, so calm down," Riku murmured and then chortled distantly.

"Sick…" Sora groaned as he lowered his gaze to the new garments. "…I swear, if you make one snide comment about me wearing these… I'll punch you!" Sora threatened, wagging a finger across the distance at Riku.

"Okay, So-ra," Riku hummed as he exited the room, shutting the door behind him to allow Sora privacy to change.

Sora sighed heavily and stared at the outfit with disgust and worry. "Cross-dressing, way to start off my summer vacation…" _Three days, Sora. Three days._

**x**x**x**xx**x**xxx**x**xx**x**xxx**x**xx**x**

"Stupid Riku, stupid house, stupid summer."

Sora vigilantly scrubbed the counters of the kitchen with a look of displeasure on his face. This outfit was uncomfortable and _far _too short. The material was itchy and the collar was all frilly and tickly. Not only that, but it was a horrible fit on him. The sleeves hung off his shoulders and exposed his collar bone. Whoever had owned this outfit was a lot taller.

"I feel so degrading in this," Sora whimpered as his fingers dug into the sponge, focusing his attention on an area of mould. "Die, would you?"

"Hey, Sora?"

Sora turned his head, anger and aversion displayed in his usually bright eyes. "What do you want, _master_?"

"Oh, kinky, I like that," Riku chuckled a bit sarcastically as he walked across the kitchen floor to Sora. The brunet groaned and turned around to face Riku, their eyes briefly meeting.

"What do you want?" Sora repeated, fingers tightly gripping the counter behind him.

"Just wanted to see if this was teaching you a lesson," Riku commented as he glanced beyond Sora's form at the now-clean counters. A faint smile appeared on Riku's lips before it turned slightly perverted when he noticed how much skin the outfit exposed on the brunet. And oddly, Riku found it _quite_ attractive.

"A lesson?" Sora echoed, not liking the way Riku was staring at him. _Does he want to strangle me?_

"A lesson to respect the people that open their arms and allow you to stay with them. You know, a lesson that shows you that you need to have manners and whatnot," Riku explained as his gaze lingered on the short bottom hem of the outfit.

"Maybe if you were actually nice to me I'd respect you," Sora mumbled pathetically, feeling a bit uneasy having Riku staring so fixatedly at him.

"Hey… Sora?" Riku asked after a prolonged moment.

"What?" Sora questioned curtly.

"That one spot on the counter that you were working on, you need the purple-bottle stuff for that. It's under the sink in the right cabinet," Riku drawled, eyes still glued to Sora's lower torso. _If it was just a bit shorter…_

"…Thanks?" Sora replied cautiously as he made his way over to the sink. The brunet then proceeded to bend over to investigate the situation under the sink.

Riku's eyes watched curiously. A small wave of arousal filled the silver-haired male at his clever idea and the results he was expected to receive. Riku, a bit shamefully, watched Sora bend over. And of course, he was disappointed. The male's fist curled as he smacked it against the counter. "Fucking _boxers_?!"

"Huh?"

Sora spun around with the BAM in his hands. The brunet stared quizzically at Riku, not processing the other's statement thoroughly. "What… about boxers?" Sora inquired.

Riku's palm made contact with his forehead. _I'm a pervert. A fucking pervert whose trying to catch a glimpse of his best friend's brother. _"Nothing…"

"Okay?" Sora answered skeptically as he went back to work.

Riku said nothing as he exited the room and headed back towards his room. What did he have in mind? A bit more reading of Sora's diary, _of course_. What else did he have to do?

**x**x**x**xx**x**xxx**x**xx**x**xxx**x**xx**x**

"That was close," Riku mumbled as he shut and locked his door.

The male then plopped his body down onto the bed and reached in his drawer for Sora's diary. Once having collected it, Riku sprawled out onto the soft mattress and flipped the book open. In his mind he was replaying his and Sora's conversations. Perhaps if he gave a _bit_ more effort he could befriend the brunet boy. It was just that Sora's pride in Cloud was almost that of _worshipping_, and Riku knew that if Sora knew the _whole _truth, he wouldn't 'worship' his older brother.

_Today was an odd day, to say the least. Tidus and I went down to the docks seeing that we had nothing else better to do. _

_We met this girl there, her name was Kairi. Tidus at once fell hard for her, and I myself was a bit jealous of how well they got along. I didn't like her in that sort of way, but I just wanted to have another friend, and Tidus was hogging her. I felt a bit jaded. _

_I didn't tell Tidus or Kairi this -- I didn't want to look like a selfish pest, so I just sat on the pier by myself while they skipped rocks out on the water on the beach. They didn't bother inviting me. I guess I'm happy for Tidus…?_

_When I got home, I realized that I hadn't really thought about dating since the day that boy kissed me. He said it was an accident, today at school. How can you accidentally kiss someone? Was he… toying with me? … Why would he do that? I mean, I don't see why he'd waste his time on someone like me._

_I'm kind of sad that he doesn't like me, you know? No one ever has. I mean, in that sort of way. Tidus and Cloud like me as a friend, and that's good. Being lonely would suck …. Even though both of them do have their jerky moments._

_But you know, now that I'm fifteen (sixteen in four months!), I'm starting to feel so helpless. I've never been on a date. I've never had a real kiss that meant anything (tongue included… I bet that'd feel nice…?) I feel like a failure and a disgrace to the male race._

_Like I said before, I'd never approach someone I liked. They'd just say no and tell me to go away. I guess I just won't date. I'll save myself a lot of heartache that way. _

_Though, I kind of wish I had a better friend then Tidus… or maybe just a good friend I could actually talk to about life and stuff. Someone that would really talk to me about the little things. I also wouldn't mind a boyfriend who swept me off my feet. I'd really like to know what a real kiss feels like…_

_Maybe I'm just being dramatic again. Oh well. I'll write again soon._

Riku frowned and poked the diary.

"The kid's really lonely," Riku muttered as he tilted his head off to the side. Silver hair fell off his shoulders and onto the book. Riku thought about the words for awhile. Sora, in this anyway, was fifteen and hadn't had a _real kiss_ or boyfriend.

Riku, being fueled by curiosity to see if Sora acquired a new friend or a kiss, flipped the page to the next entry. Four months later.

_I'm finally sixteen. I'm so excited._

_I mean, now that I'm sixteen I'm officially in the prime of my life! Though, it's not really that exciting. I'm still dateless, boyfriend__-__less, and hopeless. Haha, that's kind of funny. Er, ironic. Something along those lines?_

_Anyhow, Cloud threw me a small party. Tidus couldn't come, he had a date with Kairi. Er, I hope they had fun? Heh?_

_Tidus told me that he's made out with Kairi and done stuff with her. He told me that telling me the specifics would taint my 'adorable virgin mind', and for that I punched him. I… really didn't mean to hit my best friend, it was just he made me sound like an idiot for being a virgin and without a boyfriend._

_I'm not! I just… I just don't like people that much?_

_Anyhow, I'm pretty sure Tidus forgave me for that. I hope? Well… let's see, what else happened these part four months?_

_No kiss… nothing dramatic…. Uh… Cloud went out on a few dates, nothing major. Maybe it runs in the family?_

_Oh well…._

"This kid is _pathetic_," Riku declared as he rolled his eyes. "Sixteen and he never had a girlfriend or boyfriend. I'm …. awfully surprised," Riku murmured before adding on under his breath, "his body isn't that bad…"

Riku sat there and pondered Sora's words once again. Perhaps this was why Sora was so distant towards him? Was Sora just used to people shutting him out and making snide comments to him? Riku tapped his fingers down against the diary. Now, more than ever, did he wish that he hadn't lost his own notebook. He really could go for a dark scene right now.

Then again, this was just as interesting.

Riku sighed and put the diary away, figuring it was a good spot to leave off. By now, he had read a lot about Sora's life, and there was a few days left of reading left.

The silver-haired male rolled onto his side and stared at the wall for a long while.

"Perhaps a change of heart is needed…" It was amazing the effect words had on you.

**x**x**x**xx**x**xxx**x**xx**x**xxx**x**xx**x**

Once Sora had finished his absurd task of cleaning, the brunet slipped into his bedroom and removed his outfit. Sora then promptly threw it into the trashcan and changed back into his normal clothing. Blue eyes were drenched with frustration and anger. "He could have given me something more reasonable than _that_."

Sora stretched and glanced at the clock. It was already five. Damn. His whole day had been spent cleaning Riku's house. Lovely. Maybe he could savor the rest of his day? How could he do that?

An idea struck and Sora smiled and headed out of his room and down the hallway. Sora cautiously made his way down towards Riku's room. Thoughts and ideas flew in and out of his head as he approached the door. It took Sora a total of five minutes and ten seconds to muster up enough courage to knock.

Then it took precisely ten seconds for Riku to open the door, their eyes briefly meeting, yet again. This time, though, Riku did not break the eye-contact. Neither did Sora.

"Yeah?" Riku asked, surprisingly not sarcastically or rudely.

Sora blinked in surprise and lowered his gaze to the floor. "Would… you mind if we went back to the café…? I like it there… and I wanted to see Naminé again…."

Riku gave the suggestion serious thought. Aquamarine eyes remained fixated on Sora's lithe form, as if memorized by it. Would kindness turn Sora into a _normal_ human being? "I think I can do that. I wanted to talk to Roxas about something anyhow," Riku explained as he shut his bedroom door.

Sora blinked in amazement, yet again. "Really?"

"Really," Riku echoed and brushed past Sora into the living room to get his keys.

"…He's being… nice?" Sora wondered aloud as he stood by the door, too in shock to do anything else. People didn't change overnight. Or in Sora's case, over the course of an afternoon. So, Sora then asked himself, _What is he planning?_

**x**x**x**xx**x**xxx**x**xx**x**xxx**x**xx**x**

"Selphie… leave him alone," Riku said grimly as he shooed the pesky brunette away from the booth.

Selphie grumbled something under her breath, placed her hands fluidly onto her hips, stuck her nose up high, and then promptly stormed off, stomping her feet as she went. More than likely in search for Roxas to complain to, no doubt.

Riku sighed and leaned his forehead against his palm. There they sat, Riku and Sora, in a _booth_, _together_. Without fighting. Without glaring. It was odd. It was a bit … unnerving. "Excuse her. She likes to flirt aimlessly with guys. Sadly, all the ones she does like are either gay or taken."

Sora laughed nervously and glanced down at the table. "Yeah…"

"I swear, that girl would do anything on two legs and a-" Riku began but silenced himself, not wanting to be too vulgar around Sora. Instead of finishing his thought, he lifted a menu and stared at it. Being nice to Sora wasn't that hard after-all. In fact, the brunet was actually quiet when he wasn't being snapped at. It was a peaceful change.

"… I saw you play the piano last night," Sora commented as he flipped open his own menu shyly. _This must be a trick. By now Riku would have yelled at me for something. Or made fun of me. What _is_ he doing?_

"You did?" Riku asked with honest surprise in his voice. "I'm… not that good. I'm surprised they haven't thrown me out of this place yet."

_He's being really friendly… I'd ask why, but I'm afraid… that he'd just_ _go back to being rude and mean…_ "You actually play pretty well," Sora complimented the other with a faint smile. And honestly, Sora wasn't lying. Riku _did_ play marvelously.

"Is that _flattery_ coming out of Sora Kayaki's mouth directed at _me_?" Riku asked in disbelief, raising a hand to dramatically place it over his heart. The odd part was that Riku's voice contained no sarcasm or discontent. It was just… teasing, but in a gentle way.

_Maybe he's on something…_ "I think so?"

"Listen, Sora." Riku put the menu down and laced his hands on top of it. "I'm willing to start over if you are, okay kid? I'm tired of playing the blame-game. And I'm tired of arguing with you over stupid things. Being in a constant war of insulting with you isn't really making me all warm and fuzzy inside. Okay, what I'm _trying_ to say is that I'm going to try and get along with you and make this month tolerable. That _is_, if you try to do the same."

Sora was truly taken-back by the deal. "You wouldn't call me a girl anymore? You wouldn't make fun of Cloud and me?"

"That's correct," Riku confirmed with a stiff nod.

"Would… I be able to use your computer?" Sora asked softly.

"If you wanted to, I guess. Just don't do anything stupid on it that may make it get a virus. I mean, not like you would," Riku said in a mumble before finishing with a hasty, "You can use it."

"Wow… thanks, Riku," Sora said with the smallest of smiles appearing on his lips.

"You look nice when you smile," Riku stated as he picked his menu back up and began searching it for a meal to order.

Sora blinked and then flushed a cherry red. "That's not true."

"It is," Riku argued, eyes glued to the menu.

"I'm not… nice looking in general, so I don't see how a smile could make me look nice," Sora mumbled as he lowered his gaze to the table again.

"You've got a nice body," Riku said non-perversely.

Sora took note of that. "You said it looked like a girl's," Sora pouted as pools of blue met seas of aquamarine.

"That's not a bad thing. You'd be surprised at how many guys aren't into the muscular and buff men. Thin and curvy is rare but enticing," Riku hummed as he grabbed for his water that had been placed there earlier by Naminé.

"Now I know you're lying. No one's ever complimented me before. Why should I believe you?" Sora asked, tilting his head to the side.

"Because I speak the truth?" Riku reasoned. "And I don't have a reason to lie to you."

"…Then, um…. Thanks, Riku." Sora offered a timorous smile and opened his menu.

_He's really sweet when he's not a fucking twerp…_

**x**x**x**xx**x**xxx**x**xx**x**xxx**x**xx**x  
**

"Sora, this is the store-owner, Roxas."

Naminé smiled and laced her hands together in front of her. The blonde female was standing next to a dirty-blond male who was wearing a form-fitting black shirt along with loose white pants. The colors contradicted themselves, and yet at the same time went nicely together. The three of them stood near the counter of the café, right in front of it.

The man, addressed as Roxas, extended his hand to shake Sora's hand.

"Pleasure to meet you, a friend of Riku is always a friend of mine," Roxas answered as a shimmer of something undetectable sparkled in his eyes.

"Riku and I just live together, I wouldn't really call us-" Sora began nervously before he felt an invasive touch. A hand on his shoulder, to be exact.

"Don't be modest, Sora," Riku hummed, his fingers curling around Sora's shoulder.

Sora laughed softly to himself and fought off a blush. _I have to get used to Riku being nice. This is going to be really hard. _"It's nice to meet you too, Roxas." _That was a bit overdue, wasn't it?_

"So, you're Cloud's brother?" Roxas questioned as he leaned back against the counter.

"That I am," Sora answered shyly, quite aware that Riku hadn't removed his hand yet. It felt like it was burning a mark onto his skin.

"You two are complete opposites," Roxas remarked.

"You've known him for what, two seconds, and you're saying that?" Riku asked from behind Sora, an eyebrow arching curiously at the blond male.

"It's obvious, Riku. You _must_ not be perceptive. Cloud's a lot more assertive and a bit mouthy at times, and you can't forget boastful. Sora here is shy and timid and reserved. And humble, too. They both are wonderful, but opposites, you see," Roxas said quite verbosely.

"Everyone says that," Sora whispered quietly.

"I've never had the chance to meet Cloud, so I wouldn't know," Naminé added in with a shake of her head.

_They're opposites? _Riku thought, mind drifting away from the conversation at hand. _I… never really gave that idea much thought. Usually siblings are complete opposites of one another… in some cases, I guess. Sora and Cloud must be one of those cases. …Now I feel sort of bad of having judged Sora by his brother… _

"Are you Riku's boyfriend?" Roxas asked bluntly, eying the pair with curiosity.

Sora paled and then blushed darkly, heat rising to his cheeks. "N-no!"

"Nah," Riku replied calmly. Though, to be honest, he was caught off guard by the question. Roxas, along with Cloud and Naminé, knew that he didn't really do _boyfriends_. He did _dates_.

"Well then, stop touching him," Roxas snickered, crossing his arms to his cheeks.

Riku blinked and quickly pulled his hand off Sora's shoulder.

"Sorry," Riku and Sora mumbled in unison.

"Aw, look Naminé, they're already at the stage of reading each other's mind," Roxas taunted with a jovial laugh.

"They are kind of cute together," Naminé commented, tilting her head to the side to get a better look at the pair.

Sora kept turning shades darker as his eyes became acquainted with the floor. Riku, on the other hand, was paling and narrowing his eyes at his friends. The silver-haired male brushed past Sora to stand beside him, and not behind him, and somehow ended up allowing their fingers to lightly brush. Sora didn't notice this, but Riku did. The touch sent fire scorching up and down his spine.

"Riku, are you _blushing_?" Roxas asked as he smirked at his taller friend. "That's new."

"Oh yeah, like I'd really fuck my best friend's brother," Riku muttered darkly, pushing the uneasiness to the side.

"Jeez, don't get vulgar. We're _kidding_," Roxas said with a laugh as his looked softened when he noticed how uneasy Sora looked. "Hey Sora, we were joking. Don't mind us. We do that a lot to Riku."

Sora rose his head and laughed sheepishly before looking up to the Riku, staring at him for a long moment. "Ah, okay," Sora responded quietly, eyes still looking at Riku.

"How long have you guys been living together?" Roxas questioned.

"About three days now," Riku answered and Sora followed with a nod.

"So, friends yet?"

"Getting there," Riku chortled and looked at Sora, surprised to see that the brunet's gaze was on him.

"I'm glad," Naminé whispered, adding in her own two-cents. "I was worried about you two after yesterday and all. You seemed really … tense about being around one another."

"Well, people change," Riku answered briskly.

_I just hope that _I _can change someday…_

**x**x**x**xx**x**xxx**x**xx**x**xxx**x**xx**x**

It was late. Ten. Not _that_ late, but still.

Riku figured that Sora was already asleep, but no, the light to the brunet's bedroom was on. Curiously, Riku made his way down the hallway towards the cracked door. Riku fully opened it and smiled when he realized that Sora had passed out on his bed and had left the light on. "Clumsy," Riku mumbled as he rolled his eyes.

The silver-haired male walked across the room and proceeded to get Sora into a more suitable sleeping position. And that involved grabbing Sora's pillow and placing his head upon it and pulling down the sheets. (Thankfully, Sora had shoved the notebook under his bed and not under his pillow.)

Riku was about to leave Sora's side, tired himself, but what stopped when Sora stirred, pulling the blankets tighter around his body.

"R-…riku?" Sora asked in a yawn, eyes slipping open to stare up at the silver-haired teen. "W-what…?"

"I came in to say good-night," Riku replied smoothly as he bent over. _Okay… what the fuck am I doing? _Riku's lips hovered over Sora's forehead briefly. _Was I about to kiss him good-night? God, what am I? A mother?_

"Night, Riku," Sora hummed quietly with a bright smile. The brunet nuzzled his head against the pillow, vaguely aware of the world around him.

"Yeah… night, Sora," Riku said uncertainly as he exited the room, headed to bed.

_I thought that maybe it'd be nice being his friend.. But I had no idea how sweet he was… Or maybe he's just shy… Oh well, I have his diary, I'm sure I can figure out what he's all about…_

Riku had _no_ idea how true he was.

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_review puh-lease?_


	5. fourth day

yay for fast updates. school is starting this thursday for me, but there won't be a decrease in updates. trust me. school does not stop me from writing fanfics. never has, never will 8D So yeah. Review this chapter, please?  
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**By Chance**

It's incredibly difficult to sleep when you have a lot on your mind, as Sora learned. The brunet had awoken at seven, far earlier than he wanted to. The teenager tried to will himself back into slumber, but in the end it worked to no avail. So now Sora lay on his bed, staring dejectedly up at the ceiling as thoughts of yesterday raced through his mind. The day kept repeating over and over. Essentially, Sora was trying to make sense of it.

The brunet _obviously_ hadn't remembered Riku coming into his room last night.

Someone just didn't randomly offer a truce. There _had_ to be some sort of underlying motive. Perhaps Riku was tricking him? Maybe that was it. People just didn't _change_ overnight. Or during the course of half a day. Especially someone as stubborn as Riku. No, something must have happened for Riku to suddenly try and 'make-nice'.

But Sora came up empty. The brunet had done _nothing_ to make Riku push aside their earlier confrontations and start anew. Maybe Riku was just doing it out of the kindness of his heart. Or maybe Riku was just interested in making a new friend. Or, perhaps, Riku was just trying to make this month tolerable for them.

"It just doesn't make any sense," Sora reasoned as his fingers began playing with the edge of his pillowcase. "Riku wouldn't just randomly be interested in being my friend."

Sora wasn't one to understand human emotion that well. The only friends he had ever had were Tidus and Cloud. True, Kairi was a casual acquaintance (through Tidus), along with a few other people not worth mentioning, but for Riku to actually want to be his friend? Sora couldn't process the thought. Years of ridicule had made the brunet quite intolerable of people like Riku.

People like Naminé, it seemed, were okay in his book. People like her; gentle, kind, and caring. People that didn't insult you and make you do ridiculous things… like cleaning the house in a skimpy outfit.

"Maybe I'm just thinking too much," Sora suggested as his heavy eyes closed. There was no chance that he'd get back to sleep; his mind was working too hard to shut down now.

"I guess he deserves a chance," Sora concluded.

Everyone deserves a chance, right? Everyone deserves the chance to prove to you that they are really a civil human being. So this was Riku's final chance. Sora wasn't sure if this would turn out for the better or for the worse, but the very thought of the unexpected made Sora a bit anxious. Why couldn't he know now?

Pushing aside any more thoughts of Riku, Sora reached under his pillow for the maroon-diary. Sora flipped it open, searching for where he left off. When he reached the page, the teen greedily began to read, as if the writing would somehow vanish if he didn't scarf it up.

_This next excerpt, type-thing, is based on something in real-life. I'm not going to waste paper explaining. I mean, I'm the only one reading this so I ought to know. I mean, it does involve me, after all._

Sora sighed helplessly. "Well, I'm reading it and I don't know you…"

_It drilled a hole through my heart to hear those venomous words slip from his lips. The lips that I had bruised against mine. The lips that I had dreamt of, the ones I wanted, the ones that before this had been angelic._

_He looks at me with concern as he fumbles to collect his clothing from their various placements on the bedroom floor. He won't look me in the eye; I don't expect him to. Instead, he just scurries about, getting dressed in a flurry, obviously ashamed at what had conspired only hours before._

"_What do you mean?" I demand. "This meant nothing to you?"_

"_You know as well as I do that it was supposed to mean nothing," he murmurs. Those beautiful blue eyes won't look me in the eye. Locks of light blond hair falls in his eyes and makes him all the more saintly. But I know that he's not an angel; he's a back-stabber._

"_Well, I'm _asking_ you for more! I want this! I want you, okay? Why the hell else would I have had sex with you?" I holler, a bit afraid of my own volume._

"_Because you needed relief." He answers my question with such certainly that I momentarily have to rethink my feelings. The feeling subsides._

"_Because I care about you!" I correct, arising from the bed._

"_You know that I wouldn't risk our friendship on a relationship. Relationships end, you know that. And best friends never really ever are the same after they date. I don't want that for us," he tries to comfort me in a whisper. "I want us to stay friends. I want this to never be mentioned again. Please?"_

"_You do realize you just broke my heart, right?" I harshly inform him._

"_Please don't do this…" he tries to make things right by continuing to whisper pleas. It doesn't work._

"_We'll never bring this up again," I conclude, looking away painfully. "We'll never speak a word of this ever again. In return, you promise me that if we haven't fallen in love with someone else by the time you turn twenty-five, that we'll go out."_

_He gives me a questioning look. "You'll only be twenty."_

"_Has age ever mattered before? You're freaking twenty-one and I'm sixteen. Can't you see that I'm willing to do anything for you? You've been my best friend forever and I just don't want to lose you!" I snap hoarsely._

"_All right," he agrees._

_Somehow, I know that if we dated now, that it'd spell trouble. He's five years older than me, true. And right now I'm not even legal. Perhaps waiting is for the best. I just hope that he doesn't fall for anyone else in these four years._

"_Friends forever?" he suggests._

"_Yeah…" And it takes everything in me not to cry in front of him._

Sora stared at the entry for a long moment, as if contemplating what the words meant. After a quick reread, Sora's lips ghosted a few words of praise. The brunet's mind began to spin and spin as it worked out the details to this story. After a moment, Sora sprawled out on his bed and stared up at the ceiling.

"The author of this fell in love with his best friend and whoever it was didn't return his feelings," Sora said quietly. "That happens a lot, nowadays," he murmured, flinching a bit.

"I feel so bad for this guy," Sora whispered into the safety of his room. "I… want to meet him," Sora decided as he nodded his head vigorously in confirmation. "I want to meet him and talk to him. He's been hurt and I… think that maybe I can help him?"

Sora laughed at this. "Oh yeah, right. Me, help somebody. Wow, that'd be the day."

Sora sighed and then placed the notebook under his bed for safe-keeping. The story remained fresh in his mind. Right now Riku seemed significant compared to the unsettling excerpt. His problems with Riku seemed so trivial…

**x**x**x**xxx**x**xxx**x**xx**x**xxx**x**

Riku yawned as he made his way through his kitchen in search of some cereal. It was odd. He _never_ ate breakfast. In fact, the idea of breakfast was absurd in his mind. It was just another time of the day to pack on the calories and pounds. And quite honestly, Riku enjoyed his slender form. Although his thoughts may not be correct, they were to him and that's all that mattered to the nineteen year old.

Riku sat down at the kitchen and slipped into deep thought. The entry of Sora's that he had read earlier talked about how worried Sora was towards Cloud, and how the brunet wished his older brother would just be honest with him. It made Riku feel _sick _to know that Cloud hadn't told Sora _so_ many things. And one important fact, Riku knew for sure, that Cloud had never shared with his younger sibling.

"He deserves to know," Riku mumbled and then paused. "Though… it really has nothing to do with him."

Riku groaned when he realized, mentally, what he was doing. "Don't tell me I've turned into one of those people that confides in people they barely know. Like the pain will go away that way. _Riiight_."

"Uh… Riku? What are you talking about?" Sora asked as he lingered near the entrance of the kitchen.

Riku was quite caught off guard. It was eight in the morning and Riku had figured Sora was still fast asleep. That's what summer was for, after all. Sleeping late. So why was Sora up? Aquamarine eyes flashed over to the brunet's slim body as he wore a confused look. Both males, in fact, had the same identical confused expression.

"You were eavesdropping?" Riku asked emotionlessly.

"I'm sorry," Sora murmured automatically as his gaze dropped to the floor as it usually would. "I just figured that maybe I could … talk with you? I mean, I-"

"Sit," Riku instructed as he motioned to the vacant chair beside him, to which Sora was surprised because usually Riku made the brunet sit across from him. Beside him was a nice change.

"Okay," Sora replied simply as he slowly took the seat. When the brunet felt the intensity of Riku's eyes upon him, Sora looked cautiously up at the taller male, as if awaiting a conversation to start.

"You wanna know why I'm so spiteful, sometimes, towards Cloudie?" Riku inquired gravely as he tilted his head to the side to get a better look at the brunet.

Sora vigorously nodded. "Yes, please."

Sora's manners surprised Riku. So he really _did_ have manners. Surprise. "I'm not going to go into details because it's just pointless to do such. All I'm going to say is that he betrayed me."

"How…?" Sora asked and then added in, "Err… generally speaking."

Riku sighed melancholically. "He broke my heart. We had a one-night stand. The end."

Sora's eyes widened briefly before he looked at the table, finding it quite interest. His brother had slept with Riku? And how did Cloud break Riku's heart? Did he cheat on him? Or did he take advantage of him when he was drunk? Sora's mind went into over-drive trying to figure out the reasoning to Riku's grudging.

"We're still friends," Riku explained. "Crushing isn't really a good reason to end a friendship. Neither is sex. It's not like we killed each other. I just came to accept that Cloud didn't want anything more than friendship."

Riku was being vague. If he hadn't been … perhaps Sora would have realized that Riku's story met identically to the one in the secret notebook. "I'm sorry," whispered Sora a bit compassionately.

"I've put it behind us. But ever since I've never really respected Cloud as much as I used to. I just didn't want you thinking that your brother was a perfect angel and that I was just spiteful or jealous," grumbled Riku, his eyes tightly shut.

"I'm taking a guess… and it's probably wrong … but is that why you hate me so much?"

Riku's eyes snapped open and fell upon Sora. "Who said I hate you?"

"I just figured that…" Sora trailed off, not really being able to convey what he was trying to say. Right now Sora cursed his inability to work wonders with words.

"Listen; at first I held a grudge against you because of Cloud. And you being a snob to me didn't really help. But I'm over it, okay?" Riku said as he eyed Sora intensely.

"So… everything's forgotten between you and me?" Sora wondered nervously, blue eyes meeting sea-green.

"Not forgotten, just forgiven. Never forget, Sora. Just learn to forgive," Riku muttered quite poetically.

"I like that," Sora answered with an honest smile. "So does that make us… friends? Or do we have to work on that still?"

"I dunno," Riku replied with a shrug.

"Let's just have breakfast and talk and stuff," Sora suggested as the smile remained. The brunet was trying his best to be friendly. Sure, he had his anger-issues (when it came to certain things), and he, of course, had his secrets, but right now befriending his host seemed to be in his favor. You get more bees with honey, after all.

**x**x**x**xxx**x**xxx**x**xx**x**xxx**x**

Breakfast went by without a single curse muttered from Riku. It surprised the silver-haired male that he could actually hold up conversation with Sora without wanting to wring the brunet's neck. Now that Riku got to thinking about it, perhaps he had misjudged Sora. The diary, on the other hand, showed Riku Sora's true side. The side that Sora was slowly slipping into.

And if Riku hadn't have read Sora's diary, he wouldn't have been so kind and offered a truce. So, in essence, finding the diary was the best thing that happened in the past three days.

"Hey Sora," Riku said as he lingered near the entrance of the kitchen.

Sora, who was staring out the window in the living room, turned his head to glance at Riku. The brunet was still a bit nervous about speaking with Riku, afraid that he'd slip up on his words and make Riku enraged. But Riku had shared a piece of his past with Sora. Riku had _trusted_ Sora and opened up to him. And for that, Sora was willing to give a little bit back in their efforts to form some sort of bond.

"Come here," Riku instructed as he made his way towards a smaller hallway that Sora hadn't been down before. Curiously, Sora followed suit.

This hallway was considerably smaller than the one that contained the bedrooms and office, and had only two doors. One was closed and another was open. The right opened up into a small room that was bathed in the late afternoon sunshine; a single wall was completely made of glass which provided an excellent view of the outside world.

Sora followed Riku into said room and blinked in surprise when he saw a few bookcases, sofas, and more importantly a piano nestled in the corner.

"This is really nice, Riku," Sora commented softly as Riku made his way over to the piano bench.

"Thanks," Riku murmured as his fingers rested in G position, not the generic C position that little children are taught at first.

Sora bashfully sauntered over and stood behind Riku, awaiting the music to begin. When Riku didn't begin, Sora tilted his head to the side. Only when did Riku remove his left hand to pat the area on the bench beside him, did Sora understand. With a weak smile, Sora sat down beside his new 'friend'.

"My mother taught me how to play," Riku explained as he placed his hand back onto the ivory keys.

"Was she good?" Sora asked without really thinking about the answer. Logically, she must have been good to teach.

"She was," Riku answered with a swift nod. "She still is. Sometimes when Dad visits her, seeing that they're still friends, even after the divorce, she plays for him."

"That's sweet," Sora commented coyly, not really thinking about his deceased family.

"Yeah. When Dad moved out, we spent a lot of time together. So she taught me how to play. It was… fun," Riku concluded as he began to play an elaborate, and yet slow and peaceful, piece. It seemed like he had the piece committed to memory because Riku's eyes had slipped shut and there was no music sheet.

"What is it?" Sora asked as the notes engulfed him.

"Dearly Beloved," Riku answered in a relaxed whisper as a few fingers stroke sharps and flats. Those dexterous fingers danced along the scales, sounding chords and quarter notes and everything else in between.

"Did your mom teach you that song?" Sora felt compelled to ask.

"Yep," Riku answered nonchalantly, still in a quiet voice. "It was her lullaby. She couldn't sing me to sleep, because I wouldn't have any of that. So, instead, she played the piano to get me to fall asleep."

Sora smiled at the newly acquired information. "It's really pretty."

The tempo sped up and Sora just sat in awe. It was amazing how a human being could create something as wondrous as music. Sora watched in envy as Riku continued to play, his eyes remaining shut all the while. That surprised Sora even farther. Riku must have memorized the keys, notes, and feel of the piano.

"You're really good," Sora said as he felt a light fatigue overcome him. Slow songs did that to people.

Riku paused and opened his eyes. Aquamarine eyes glanced at Sora. Riku seemed to be weighing his options for a prolonged moment. After a moment of deliberation Riku offered a very small smile and then asked, "Want to try?"

"I don't know anything," Sora mumbled a bit shamefully. "We don't have a piano at my place."

"Here," Riku said as he motioned for Sora to put his hands in the placement that Riku had his.

"Are you sure it's okay?" Sora wondered nervously as he did as he was told. Doing such caused the brunet to lightly lean his body over Riku's in a twisted sort of way. If he were to lose balance, he would fall lengthways into Riku's lap.

"All right," Riku began as he placed his own hands an octave higher. "Just copy what I do."

Within a few minutes, they were playing the basic beginning melody. Sora echoed Riku's melody, creating an identical harmony to accompany Riku's.

"This is relaxing," Sora whispered as he began memorizing the pattern of the keys and the exact time to hit them. Never before had Sora attempted to play an instrument. This was a bit exciting to him. What was even more endearing was that Riku had taken the time to teach him and show him a part of his world. A part that wasn't flirty and cocky.

"Who knows, maybe if you get good enough you can play with me at the café," Riku suggested as a wry look crossed his face.

"As if," Sora laughed as his fingers continued to press the notes committed to memory.

"You're really pessimistic," Riku remarked as his hands ceased their playing. Sora's hands soon followed afterwards. It appeared that now was time for conversation and not playing.

"Riku, you've been playing for years. I've been playing for a few minutes. I'm not going to be able to do anything worthwhile," Sora reasoned as his fingers slid off the keys, at once missing the feeling.

"Whatever you say," Riku hummed as he rolled his eyes.

Sora mirrored the action and crossed his arms stubbornly. Silence overcame the pair once again.

"So, seeing that I shared a part of my life with you, why don't you enlighten me regarding something about you?" Riku questioned as he brought the cover over the piano keys. The silver-haired male then proceeded to lean his side against it.

"My life is boring," Sora grumbled stubbornly. "I'd bore you to death."

"You're either pissed or depressed," Riku stated with a chuckle. "Can't you find a happy medium?"

"Well, you're either all _sensual_ or _cocky_," Sora argued.

"Sora… I wouldn't really use sensual," Riku tried to correct Sora. _Does he even know what that words means? _"Pensive would be a better word."

Sora frowned at his own mistake. "Oh fine, be cryptic."

Riku didn't even bother correcting Sora this time, because, in essence, he was quite mysterious. Therefore, Riku didn't waste his breath on suggesting another, and more fitting, adjective. Instead, he asked, "Gonna tell me something about yourself or not?"

Sora sighed, thinking that he had avoided the subject all together. "My best friend told the entire world that I was a flaming homosexual, in his words."

Riku was _not_ expecting that. "He did that?"

"Yeah… right before school ended this year. I'm glad I graduated… at least now I won't have to face my classmates. It'd just be another reason for them to pick on me," Sora grumbled quite angrily.

"And you're still his friend?" Riku asked, obvious disbelief drenched in his smooth voice.

"Well, you're still friends with someone who broke your heart!" Sora said with satire in his own defense.

Riku chortled with mock amusement. In reality, he was laughing at the irony. "Are we that desperate to hold onto the friends that we have?"

Sora's anger faltered as he gave serious thought to what Riku had just said. "… I suppose."

"Other than Naminé, Cloud is my only _real_ friend," Riku murmured honestly. "Losing Cloud would mean that I only had one true friend. And that'd just be pathetic."

"Well then, I'm pathetic," Sora replied desolately.

"And that only friend stabbed you in the back," Riku stated the obvious and then laughed again, shaking his head. "I'm surprised. We've both been stabbed in the back and yet we don't hold any ill will towards them. We really _are_ desperate for human contact."

"…the kids at school hated me, Riku," Sora whispered with hurt echoing in his small voice. "They made fun of me, insulted me, and randomly beat me up… I never really bothered to tell Cloud because I didn't want him to make a big fuss over it and have them hate me even _more_."

"You let people boss you around?" Riku asked with surprise.

"I guess," Sora sighed. "That's why when I came here…. I told myself I wouldn't let myself be bossed around. So I tried to be rebellious, and look where that got me: in stupid fights with you."

"I see."

"I'm so pathetic," Sora confessed as he lowered his head, his hair falling off to the sides of his head as he hung his head low. "I've never had a real kiss or a girlfriend, or boyfriend for that fact. I let bullies push me around. I forgave Tidus for telling the world my only secret. And here I am, confiding in someone who probably could care less…"

Riku frowned at this. "You've kept all of this inside?"

"Who else could I tell? The kids at school would use it as fuel. Cloud, as I said, would try to protect me and that would get me into even more trouble… and Tidus just really was my friend because I was … I was always his friend so he figured we'd stay friends no matter what." Sora shut his eyes tightly, refusing to cry. Other than writing this in his diary, he had never brought up high-school.

"I may not be the greatest or moralist person in the world, but I've been told I'm a pretty good listener," Riku said with a reassuring smile. _Hell, I was _definitely_ too quick to judge him. This kid has more issues than I thought he did. He's a wreck… _

Sora figured that Riku couldn't use this information against him, so he just continued in a ramble, hoping that getting it out would help him in the end. "I'm ugly and I don't have any _special talents_. I'm attracted to boys, and they never like me back… and I'm making my brother's life _miserable_."

"Don't be so hard on yourself," Riku murmured as he cautiously placed his hand on Sora's shoulder as a reassurance. "You're not ugly, you're beautiful." He wasn't aware of how _strong_ his compliment was until after he had said it.

"Don't say that," Sora whispered hurtfully under his breath. "Lying makes it worse. Especially coming from a stranger."

"Sora," Riku reasoned as he turned the brunet so that they were facing one another on the bench. "You're beautiful. Beautifully broken, at that." Riku frowned when he saw a single tear leak from Sora's left eye. "You just had a hard life. I don't blame you for being so hard on yourself. But you…"

_Why the hell am I telling him this? I'm no better. I've spent three years trying to forget what Cloud did to me. I've spent three years keeping to myself because I thought being left alone would help. And here I am, pretending to be a motivational speaker. God, I am such a hypocrite_, Riku thought weakly, giving himself a headache. Why was it so easy to give advice and so hard to think of what to do for yourself?

"I'm sorry," Sora whispered as he pulled away from Riku's touch. "I didn't mean to randomly dump this on you. I'm sorry," Sora apologized again, shaking his head.

"Everyone needs to vent," Riku reasoned with a gentle smile as Sora's cloudy blue eyes opened. "It's not healthy to keep it in."

"You're not going to judge me because of this?" Sora questioned weakly, his voice straining to make words.

"No," Riku replied simply.

"Thank you, Riku," Sora whispered as Riku nodded slowly. "Can I… be alone for a few?" Sora requested as he bit his bottom lip. "I'll be fine in a bit… I just need some time to… think."

"Sure," Riku said as he arose from the bench, complying to the other's request. "I'll be out in the living room. If you need anything, just call for me." Sarcasm and empty flirtatious statements were not welcomed or needed right now, so Riku kept them to himself.

_Maybe now that he got all that off his chest, he'll be able to make new friends…? Wait… am I going to be one?_

This was going to be hard, Riku concluded mentally. Riku just didn't like people close to him. And that was that.

**x**x**x**xxx**x**xxx**x**xx**x**xxx**x**

"Cloud, are you feeling all right?"

Cloud groaned as he held his stomach. A stomach ache, no doubt. The blond was resting on his bed in the hotel. His usually tranquil blue eyes were now fastened shut in slight pain. The blond mumbled something under his breath as his brunet boyfriend took a seat on the bed beside him.

"Food poisoning?" Leon suggested dryly as he extended a hand to gingerly place it on top of the blond's.

"Maybe," Cloud answered in an exasperated sigh. "Does my phone have any missed calls?"

Leon reached over to snag Cloud's phone. With a quick flick of his wrist, he flipped the device open. Nothing was displayed on the screen so Leon rapidly shut it and placed it back where he had found it. "Not even one. You need to start relaxing. Your brother's fine."

"Leon…"

Leon was at once worried when he heard his name spoken with such desperation. "Cloud, what is it?"

"I'm worried that Riku's going to turn Sora against me," he confessed as he held his stomach. Perhaps this pain was caused by guilt and not bad seafood. That seemed like a logical reason.

"Why would he do something like that?" Leon drawled, as if uncertain what Cloud was getting at.

"Leon…" Cloud sighed and shut his eyes once more. "A few years ago I had sex with Riku. It was one of those, _this means nothing_, pure lust, sort of deals. But Riku took it seriously and wanted a relationship. I couldn't date him… I had no interest in him as a boyfriend. I broke his heart and I don't think he's forgiven me."

"But you remained friends?" Leon wondered with sincere curiosity.

"Surprisingly," Cloud answered with a wavering laugh.

"I'm sure Sora would understand that," Leon pointed out as he tilted his head to the side. "At least you didn't give Riku false hope and agree to date him. You would have hurt him more doing that."

"I know," Cloud replied. "That's why I told him the truth."

"Life's… quite complicated," Leon made known as he edged himself into a laying position beside the blond. Relaxed eyes looked over at Cloud as he interlaced their free hands together, as if to bring silent comfort to his worrying boyfriend. "Sora's your brother; nothing's going to change that. Stop worrying so much."

"I'm trying. And I'm doing a horrible job. Ha… I'm so pathetic," Cloud grumbled disgustedly. "I sound so whiny."

"Everyone worries," Leon said before craning his neck to capture Cloud's lips into a lingering kiss. "Some more than others," Leon murmured the words into the kiss as his arms encircled the slightly shorter of the pair.

Cloud's worries seemed to melt away. It was as if his brunet boyfriend was kissing away the anxiety. And right now, only this moment existed. Cloud smirked into the kiss, his free hand pulling Leon by his collar, closer. The kiss deepened, both having no intentions of stopping any time soon.

And thus, they continued.

**x**x**x**xxx**x**xxx**x**xx**x**xxx**x**

"Feeling any better?"

Sora gave a shaky nod as he took a seat beside Riku on the couch in the living room. Sora had remained in the small study-like room for half an hour, sorting out his troubling thoughts. Eventually, Sora mustered up the courage to talk to his friend again, hopefully about something other than their previous topic. Sora glanced shyly at Riku, noticing how different Riku seemed to be overall when he was being kind and not malicious.

"So, Sora, tell me…" Riku leaned his back against the couch and crossed his arms behind his head. "What's your favorite color?"

Sora blinked. "Green, why?"

"Just curious," Riku chuckled and shook his head. "You know, just trying to get to know you better."

"Oh," Sora said with a smile leaking onto his face. "What's yours?"

"Either grey or blue," Riku replied, as if he had answered this before. Perhaps he had. He wasn't quite sure. It didn't matter, though. As long as he was getting somewhere with the brunet.

"I like blue," Sora concurred as he smiled gently at the silver-haired male.

"Hm… Coffee or tea?"

"Coffee," Sora automatically said with a grin appearing on his features.

"I sort of like tea myself," Riku said with a thoughtful look. "Especially the raspberry white tea kind."

"I never tried it," Sora answered, scrunching his nose up at the thought of a _white_ tea.

"It's good," Riku explained and closed his eyes. "Hm … beef or chicken?"

"That's a hard one," Sora responded with a laugh. "I'd have to say beef, though."

"Same," Riku concurred and then sat there for a long moment, not really in the mood to ask trite questions. "Wanna do anything today?"

"Like what?" Sora questioned, finding it oddly comforting to talk to Riku.

"Go out looking for hot guys?" Riku suggested, arching an eyebrow, despite the fact that he had his eyes closed. Riku was just talented like that, as Sora was discovering.

"Heh…" Sora blushed a bit and looked down at his feet. "I'll pass. I'm not looking for a relationship or a date."

"Same here, Sora. Same here," Riku said in way of amen. "Maybe one day, though. Right now they don't really interest me. I haven't met anyone that's worth giving it a swing at, with."

"Same," Sora agreed quietly. "Though … maybe if you weren't so cocky all the time you'd meet more people." Sora then stuck his tongue out at his new friend.

"Ouch. Did you just insult my personality? I'm offended, Sora. And here I thought that my cunning wit was quite a turn on."

Sora cleared his throat. "I'm…"

"You're?" Riku cracked an eye open and stared at the brunet beside him.

"I think that you're just a weirdo," Sora said and stuck his tongue out for the second time at Riku.

"And you're an immature brat. But know that I'm saying that with love," Riku said with a chuckle, rolling his eyes as exhaled. Sitting and talking like this was peaceful. It was like now that Sora had gotten that weight off his chest, the brunet was much more willing to have a mutual conversation. Riku liked that.

"Wanna go play an online game?" Sora suggested with a grin. "I bet I can kick your butt!"

"On, you're _so_ on," Riku said, loving a challenge.

And that's how the rest of the day was spent. Online gaming and casual conversation. This could be, perhaps, the start of a beautiful friendship, as quoted from Casablanca. At least, the both _hoped_ they would continue to get along.

It would make things a lot easier … right?

* * *

Thanks to all reviewers. Review please? 


	6. fifth day

i went two days without writing and I felt like the laziest person in the world ... so there's no way I'm going to do that again. Any how, school tomorrow. Bleh. sophohmore year, fun fun. Lively writing is the only thing I'm excited over. All upperclassmen in that class besides me. Oh the thrill

also, if you go on gaia online, PM me if you're interested in an awesome kingdom hearts group rp thread that just started ;D  
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**By Chance**

_One more day, Sora. Tomorrow…_

Sora shoved the maroon-notebook under his bed and exited his bedroom, not bothering to make the bed. The brunet figured that he would do that later when he was more awake and alert. Right now, all he wanted to do was go on Riku's computer and get something to drink. Then he'd probably take a nap or see what Riku wanted to do for the remainder of the day. That sounded like a good idea.

_Today's the … fifth day, right? The fifth day I've been here. _Sora then proceeded to briefly recap. _The first day I found the notebook on the subway, I'm assuming. And then Riku and I got in an argument and I went to bed crying… The second day I met Naminé and Riku and I got into a real fight and then went to the café. The third day Riku suggested we try and be friends … and we both went to the café and I got to meet Roxas. Not the mention I had to wear a girl's outfit…__The fourth day, yesterday, Riku told me about his friendshipwith Cloud… and I told Riku about some stuff…_

"A lot happened in four days," Sora concluded as he walked quietly down the hallway. It was odd, the first three days he and Riku had spent bickering pointlessly. But they still had well over twenty days to become better friends. _… At least… that's what Riku thinks…_

"You're up early again," Riku said gently into the morning air.

It was eight and Sora had found himself unable to get back to sleep. Perhaps his sleeping patterns were changing? It was odd.

"Couldn't sleep," Sora answered austerely, as if his lack of sleep was beginning to bother him.

"I have sleeping pills if you want," Riku suggested with a yawn as he remained in the threshold to his own bedroom. Sora hadn't noticed before, but Riku was adorned in a dark-blue bathrobe that exposed a section of his chest down to his waistline.

Sora stared at Riku for a long moment, as if observing his appearance, before shyly retorting, "Nah. I'm fine, Riku."

"Your loss," Riku said with a shrug as he watched Sora make his way to the office. "What's with you and that computer?" he joked as a grin curled up onto his lips. "All you ever want to do is go on it."

"Eh. You know kids these days," Sora pointed out as he pushed the door open. The brunet hesitated before glancing back at Riku, as if wanting to say something more. When he didn't, Riku arched an inquisitive eyebrow.

"What's wrong?" Riku jumped straight to the point. The silver-haired male _knew_ something was off, but what exactly?

"Homesick I suppose," Sora murmured as his fingers stroked the soft door before him. The room urged him to come in but his conversation with Riku was preventing him from doing such. Part of Sora wanted to have the conversation while the other half wanted to get onto the computer.

"What'd Cloud say when he called last night?" asked Riku as he shut his bedroom door and sauntered down the hallway to stand beside Sora. The very action caused the shorter to tense just a bit.

"He was just telling me what he and Leon did so far. Apparently they went swimming and clubbing and dancing and that sort of stuff," Sora mumbled as his eyes cast downward. A twinge of remorse clung onto Sora, weighing down his mood. "They sound like they're having fun."

"That's good," Riku said, trying to sound elated for his best friend.

"It is," Sora agreed as he looked to Riku, refusing to let their eyes to meet. Honestly, when he allowed that, a wave of warmth danced through his body. Sora pointedly ignored it.

"Want to go shopping after lunch?" Riku suggested as he tilted his head to the side. "I'll buy you loads of clothes. But first, I must ask you. Do you like bondage?"

Sora blinked and cleared his throat. "B-bondage?" he repeated hesitantly.

"You know, accessories, those pants with all those straps of material… and the chains. That sort of stuff," Riku explained casually before laughing and adding on, "unless you wanted me to mean the sexual kind of bondage? In that case, I meant whips and chains and handcuffs-"

"Stop there," Sora wearily said as a light tinge of color spread across the brunet's rosy cheeks.

"I suppose you're not into that sort of thing. Oh well," Riku sighed and nonchalantly smirked. "I'll just let you pick out what you want. How does that sound?"

"Riku… you don't need to do that," Sora reasoned with the silver-haired male. "The clothes I have are fine."

"I would have never guessed you to be humble and modest," Riku mumbled, more so to himself than his friend. Riku mused for a moment before cutting off his satire with a hardy chuckle. "Just get anything you want."

Sora exhaled, knowing full well that Riku was stubborn and wasn't going to accept a 'no'. "Fine."

"Good," Riku said with a satisfied grin plastering itself upon his face.

"You won't ditch me to stalk after someone attractive, right?" Sora worriedly asked as his fingers tapped the wooden door before him lightly.

"Why would I do that when I have someone attractive _with_ me?" Riku retorted wittingly.

"Whatever you say, Riku," said Sora quietly as he entered the office at last. The brunet waved off his friend who hurried down the hallway towards the kitchen.

Once Sora was alone, he heavily sighed and closed the door. The teen then took a seat in the computer chair and stared thoughtfully at the screen, as if deliberating his next move. Rich blue eyes stared at the black-screen before the lithe teen finally galvanized himself to turn the device on.

_Tomorrow…_

**x**x**x**xxx**x**xxx**x**xx**x**xxx**x**

With a bowl of cereal (Special K; Riku liked to think that the healthy cereal was responsible for his gorgeous figure), Riku made his way back into his bedroom, not even sparing the closed office door a second glance. Riku resolved in his head that he'd give the brunet some time by himself. Smothering the teen with conversations and contact wasn't going to get either of them that far. So, therefore, Riku took residence in his bedroom.

And what else better to do to past the time than read Sora's diary?

_My sixteenth year held no great surprises for me. I finally got up the nerve to tell Tidus that I was gay. I'm not sure exactly how he's taking it. He's been distant lately. I guess I should have expected it from him. I mean, why should he accept me? As far as I know, people like me aren't normal. I wish I was normal, though. I wish I could fit in. But, then again, that'd be boring and… I guess I just wouldn't like that either._

_Anyhow, I'm seventeen now. Not much has changed over the course of a year and a few months. My brother started dating this guy, Leon, a few days ago. He had him over the house for dinner the other night. He seems nice. I'm glad that Cloud found somebody kind this time._

_This is my last year of high school. My counselors asked if I was planning to attend college, and I blatantly told them that I wasn't._

_They didn't question it._

_Cloud urged me to try and find a college I was interested in. I lied and said I would. Honestly, I know we don't have the money. I don't want to be a burden on him, so I'll just tell him I'll wait a few years before jumping back into the world of school._

_I need a break from people once this year ends…_

_Last night was the anniversary of our parents death … We went to their grave-site, which is an hour's drive from here. Cloud rented a car and took us up there (we don't need a car in the city; we can walk and take taxis)._

_I wish I knew more about my parents and their death. I wish I could remember every single detail of their faces. I can make out a blurred image, but nothing worthy of winning a graphics award._

_I feel bad that I don't know how they died… Cloud still has never told me…_

_I figure that when I'm older he'll tell me. Maybe he doesn't think I'm ready? … I don't know._

_Anyhow, I better stop this here before I ramble too much. Dinner's ready and Cloud is getting angry that I haven't reported to the kitchen yet._

Riku chortled at the last sentence and smiled fondly at the diary. This side of Sora was inquisitive and not afraid to ask questions. This side of Sora was honest and unique. Riku wondered, vaguely, if Sora would ever display this side, this true side, of him to his new friend. "Maybe by the month is over," Riku murmured to himself.

Honestly, Riku liked the Sora that emitted from the diary. Youthful and just sincere. This Sora possessed every trait that a good civilian had. In fact, Riku liked this Sora _a lot_. The way Sora's words made Riku's emotions change on a whim, the way Sora spoke bluntly but yet conservatively.

Riku laid his palm down on the page and took a deep breath. "He's had such a hard life," Riku whispered with a trace of sorrow.

Having such a hard life just made Sora stronger, as it appeared.

**x**x**x**xxx**x**xxx**x**xx**x**xxx**x  
**

Sora returned to his room after lunch. He had half an hour before Riku and he went off shopping. Just long enough to read another entry in the notebook. Sora grinned and tossed his body onto the bed before plunging into the clever excerpts, ready to submerge his whole being into the writings. By now, Sora was over halfway through the book and it never ceased to captivate the teenager.

_I was sitting in my room today and wondering where my life was going… I haven't had a real relationship for quite some time … and it seems that every time I even dare to approach the matter, something shoots me down. The first time it was that the boy I liked didn't 'swing my way', as he stated. The second time was that he thought we'd never work out and he wasn't interested. The time after that I dated the guy, but he ended it because he didn't 'feel anything'. And then… then my best friend stabbed me in the back._

Sora scrunched his nose from the familiar wording. "Just like what happened to me and Riku…"

_I'm starting to wonder if I'm going to die a lonely man. I mean, you'd never catch me saying that in real life. I can assure you that now. I'd never confess to _anyone_ that I was lonely. I'd never confess that I wanted someone in my life to love me and show me the true meaning of love. I'd never say that out loud in fears of being labeled a sap. Or worse, that I had no backbone._

_But I found that you find strength in your moments of weakness, you know?_

_I've moved on since my friend, really I have… but I often wonder what would have happened if I had overreacted to the rejection. What if I had done something drastic? I guess it's not worth worrying about right now._

_You see, that brings me on another subject. Everyone says that you have a soul mate or whatnot. Here's the thing … how do you know you've found them? Is it a sudden love at first sight? Or does it just hit you at random? How do you feel around that person? I wish I knew… it'd make things a lot easier._

_All I know… is that the guy I want to be with would have the following traits… He'd be honest. Perhaps bluntly honest, but nonetheless, honest. He'd emit happiness and would always find a way to brighten my damper moods. He would never hesitate to affectionately hold my hand or hug me-- I wouldn't mind initiating kissing and whatnot. He would have gorgeous eyes and a beautiful voice. I really don't care what he looks like._

_Shyness is a nice trait, you know? I mean, I'm compulsive and assertive, so I'd be nice to have someone who's timid and whatnot. Not to the point of holding his tongue about something he feels strongly against, but you know what I mean. I know what I mean._

_Who knows… maybe I'll find this guy? … Is he even in existence?_

Sora flushed a dark red. "It... kind of sounds like me."

Sora didn't give the journal entry much thought as he turned to the next page.

The excerpt that he read next…. Well, it was probably the most explicit and well-written thing he had ever had the pleasure to read. The brunet's ears burned along with his cheeks. Sora felt the entirety of his body blushing from the writing. Gulping down a lump that had formed in his throat, Sora stuffed the notebook under his bed and sat there in complete stun. His whole body was on _fire_.

And, of course, Riku just _had_ to walk in.

"Sora, we're leaving in a few moments and-" Riku began informatively but paused when he noticed how flustered and … aroused the brunet look. Riku took a moment to dwell on that thought. "Sora… you're awfully red…"

"HiRiku!" Sora slurred, his words blending together as he squeaked and rose his gaze to meet Riku's. Frantic blue eyes met aquamarine.

Riku stared at Sora for some time before finally asking, "Sora, were you looking at porn?"

"What?!" Sora demanded in a stunned and uneasy holler. "I don't look at that stuff!" Sora stammered quickly.

"Then what's-" Riku began questioningly, grinning from ear-to-ear at how _adorable_ Sora looked in this current state. And, admittedly, provocative.

"I'm just… feeling sick!" Sora declared vehemently, throwing his arms up in the air.

"What kind of illness gives you an erection?" Riku wondered, more so to himself. Sora, obviously, must have heard him because the brunet squeaked and lowered his gaze in embarrassment. Could they get any more awkward?

"I don't!" Sora answered bluntly.

"Uh… unless you shoved a piece of wood or something in your pants, then yeah, you do," Riku replied smartly, leaning against Sora's door-frame with amusement.

"Do not!"

"You do," Riku refuted calmly.

"Wait! You're looking?!" Sora stammered as his gaze snapped back up to Riku's, just as flustered as before.

"It's kind of obvious and distracting," Riku confessed, a smirk playing onto his lips. _I love how innocent he can be. He probably doesn't even realize he's turned-on. But by what? … Was he just day-dreaming or something? Or did I interrupt something?_

"Stop it, Riku!" Sora pouted loudly and grabbed his pillow and pulled it over his head.

"You know if you don't take care of that, it's going to be really painful to walk around with," Riku informed Sora with a weary smile. _Poor kid._

"I don't!" Sora tried to argue again with yet another pout on his boyish face.

"The bulge doesn't lie," Riku hummed good-naturedly before laughing and walking over to Sora. "Don't worry about it. It'll go away in a few…"

Sora refused to look at Riku right now. Instead, he looked down at the ground, ashamed of himself. How could he let that anonymous writing get to him this much? Sora mentally sighed and told himself that he wouldn't read that anymore unless it was at night. Yes, that would be a safe time.

Riku smiled sympathetically at Sora. "Hey kid, relax."

"You're making fun of me again," Sora murmured in a pout, still feeling embarrassed.

"I was joking around," Riku corrected and took a seat beside Sora. "We'll leave in a half an hour."

"O…kay," Sora drawled with a nervous nod. Blue eyes quizzically willed themselves to peer at Riku. The silver-haired male was smiling reassuringly at him, as if he wasn't fazed by the random encounter he had just had. "Thank you."

"Welcome," Riku said with a grin as he arose from his placement on the bed, but not before ruffling Sora's hair.

Riku made sure to memorize the earlier lusty look in Sora's eyes. Why? … Well, he wasn't quite sure himself.

**x**x**x**xxx**x**xxx**x**xx**x**xxx**x**

"Have you ever been shopping at the mall up this way?" Riku asked.

Sora followed faithfully by the taller male's side. Curious blue eyes glanced around them as they made their way into the mall. People rushed by, clinging to their bags possessively. Couples, especially, passed them by. Some were holding hands… Others were snuggling, and some were just talking with an affectionate tone. Sora's lips automatically fell down into a frown. Everyone looked so happy with another. Perhaps he would be happier if he had a boyfriend?

Sora quickly banished that thought. Who could he possibly trust to be his _boyfriend_? It was risky, dating… Sora knew about those guys that killed their girlfriends over a breakup. It was always all over the news. Sora wasn't really in the mood to die over a breakup. Or get abused. Either, or. They both seemed like terrifying things.

"Sora, I asked you a question," Riku said in a serious tone, gently tugging on the shorter's sleeve.

Sora snapped out of his thoughts and glanced up at the silver-haired male with an apologetic look written across his face. "I'm sorry, Riku. I was just … spacing out," Sora answered in a mumble.

His thoughts took a turn to an entirely different topic this time. Was Riku's kindness going to last? Was everything really platonic? It didn't seem to be possible. This friendship that had formed … he was missing something. It wasn't like Sora was _upset_ that they stopped fighting… it was just that it was a bit awkward. Sora wasn't accustomed to Riku being kind, nor was he used to having a friend other than his brother or Tidus.

"Still haven't answered my question," Riku nagged and then stopped walking altogether. The late teenager placed both his hands squarely on Sora's shoulders, turning the brunet so that their eyes could meet. "You feeling okay?"

Sora blinked. "Of course," he said quietly.

"You look really out of it. Like you're going to be sick," Riku noted with underlying worry.

Sora vigorously shook his head and looked off to the side at the shops that lined the mall's interior. "Just taking in the sights, that's all," he explained.

"Well, that was a roundabout way of telling me that you've never been here," Riku said with a slight chuckle. His brows remained furrowed as he allowed his hands to slip off Sora's scrawny shoulder. Riku then proceeded to tug on Sora's sleeve, informing the brunet that they were going to go into a shop.

Sora nodded briskly and followed. His mind, yet again, slipped off into more pressing issues. That diary. That journal. Who wrote it? Were they on the subway that day? Sora tried to wrack his brain for details. All he remembered with a blonde girl and a man next to him. That guy must be the author. Sora couldn't conjure up any details about the man. Not even a hair color. It disappointed Sora immensely.

Sora then tried to remember where the man had gone. Sora remembered that he got off on his stop. Of course, Sora had stopped to look around once he was on the streets for ten minutes, so he probably never saw what way the man went. _Maybe if I didn't dawdle on going to Riku's I would have seen who that guy was…_

"Try this on."

Riku's voice cut through Sora's troubling thoughts. The brunet blinked and glanced wearily at the clothes being shoved in his face. A black pair of pants with sporadic scraps of fabrics. Was this what Riku called _bondage_? "Okay," Sora answered softly and entered the changing stall that was on their right.

As Sora removed his pants, his mind took another adventure. This time… about his brother and family. Why did Cloud never tell him about his parents? What was Cloud hiding? Sora winced and then whispered, "I'll know tomorrow… it doesn't matter."

"Did you say something?" Riku called impatiently from the other side.

"No!" Sora hollered from the small-room, hoping that Riku hadn't heard what he said. "Just… trying to get these on," Sora explained and sat down on the small seat in the room once he had the annoying pants on.

"Riku's gonna hate me come tomorrow…" Sora spoke, his voice barely audible. He spoke so softly, in fact, that he barely heard himself. Blue eyes stared at the ground as he hugged his arms to his chest, trying to will his thoughts away. He couldn't allow the thoughts to damper his good mood. Riku had offered to bring him shopping, and he was thankful. Now if only he'd _act_ like it.

"Hey, Sora." That was followed by a knocking on the door. "Come out so I can see what they look like on you. I want to make sure I didn't give you a size too big," Riku concluded his explanation.

Sora arose from his seat and stared into the mirror briefly. _No matter what, I can't let Riku know. I just can't._

Sora nodded and exited the dressing room, sheepishly looking to the silver-haired male.

Riku took in Sora's sight with greedy eyes. Sea-green hues scanned the way the pants fit. _Definitely not too big… they might, actually, be a bit too small… _Riku noted mentally how tightly they fit his brunet friend. Sora's usually skinny frame looked much more accented in those pants. In fact, Riku had to shift his gaze away after a moment of staring. _Damn. It must run in the family._

"They look horrible, don't they?" Sora asked worriedly as his fingers poked the pants with a frown.

"No," Riku answered honestly and quite quickly. "They look great."

_Flattery sounds weird coming from Riku… especially directed to me,_ Sora thought as he eyed the silver-haired male sheepishly. "Really?"

"I'm sure you'll find all the guys staring at you," Riku joked with a forced snigger. The silver-haired male playfully ruffled Sora's hair, to which he received a pout from the brunet. _He doesn't look like Cloud… I know that… and he doesn't act like Cloud at all … so why do I feel like I did when I was around Cloud? Is it just the fact that he's his brother?_

"Like you?" Sora teased with the first grin of the day appearing. _Just forget about tomorrow, Sora. Just for now._

"Uh…" Riku cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck, clearly embarrassed. "I was inspecting the pants. Not you. Don't get smug."

"My brother would kill you if you were," Sora sang with a small laugh.

"I know he would," Riku chuckled and shook his head. "He even told me, before you came over, that if I laid one finger on you inappropriately that he'd have my hands cut off so I couldn't do such a thing ever again."

Sora laughed, regardless of the morbid detail. "You wouldn't do that anyhow, Riku."

_Wanna make a bet?_ "Eh," was Riku's answer given with a shrug.

"So these pants don't look horrible on me, right?" Sora asked again, this time twirling around to give his older friend a three-sixty.

Riku winced, trying hard not to stare. _You can look but you can't touch. So I guess…_ Riku allowed his gaze to fall upon Sora's spinning body. "Your ass looks good," Riku commented offhandedly.

Sora scorched a bright red. "Um… th-thanks?"

"Take 'em off and I'll buy them for you," Riku said as he brushed past Sora, headed towards the counter with other clothing to purchase.

Sora watched Riku walk away. The brunet blinked a few times and then stared questioningly down at the pants he wore. They were awfully tight. Not at the point of being unbearably uncomfortable, but still. Sapphire hues took another moment to stare at the pants and then Riku in the distance before he scampered back into the dressing room to get changed, all the while repeating under his breath, "He said I looked good…"

**x**x**x**xxx**x**xxx**x**xx**x**xxx**x**

After what felt like years of clothes shopping, Riku brought Sora down to the food court. Riku set the bags down on under the table and took a seat across the table from where he figured Sora would sit. The brunet, who was still repeating the earlier spoken phrase in his mind, chose the seat beside Riku instead of the one across the way.

"And you're looking dazed again," Riku teased as he poked his friend in the shoulder.

Sora snapped out of his 'daze' and shook his head. "You know, I'm just recapping on my life. I do that a lot. I… used to do that a lot when I had my diary. But now that I lost it I sort of have to rely on my memory," Sora murmured, a tinge of obvious sadness in his voice.

Riku's heart sank. This was the first time Sora spoke of the diary to the other. And it made Riku feel _horrid_. "I wasn't aware that people kept diaries anymore," Riku replied aimlessly, temporarily forgetting his own journal.

"They do!" Sora countered, not really in the mood to mention the journal he had been reading.

"And how did you lose yours?" Riku asked with a tilt of his head.

"I …" Sora thought about it. Maybe he had dropped it on the way to Riku's. To say that he had left it on the subway wouldn't really be justified. "I lost it when coming here. Not sure exactly when."

"Ah," Riku murmured. _I already knew that. You lost in when you came in and made a rush to your bedroom. That's the only way that I could possibly have it._

"Now you think I'm some sort of girl for having one," Sora grumbled as he cutely crossed his arms to the chest. Beautiful blue eyes stared up at the vast ceiling above them, fascinated by the panes of glass and the light they let in.

"Eh. I sort of had one," Riku pointed out with a shrug of his own.

"You did?" Sora curiously looked at Riku.

"Mhm," Riku answered with a nod. "I'm not sure when I lost the thing. It… didn't matter to me that much, anyhow." _Well, that's an obvious lie. I had everything I ever wrote in that damn thing, and now some random person has it. And… and damn. _

"I guess we're both clumsy," Sora laughed and then added on, "and we both misplace things."

"That we do," Riku said with a nod as he arose from his seat. "What do you want to eat? I'll go get it for you."

"Uhm…" Sora quickly glanced around the food-court. "Pizza?" he suggested with a childish look, and a bit shyly. Sora never liked asking for things to begin with.

"Sure thing," Riku said with another nod as he left the table to get their meal.

Sora was just glad that Riku hadn't held _anything_ against him so far. It eased the restless brunet.

**x**x**x**xxx**x**xxx**x**xx**x**xxx**x**

Sora got off the computer a few minutes before nine. With one last glance over his message, he logged off and exited the room, feeling a bit sick to his stomach. And of course, Riku had to come waltzing down the hallway at that exact moment. Sora began to wonder if Riku had a tracking device on him or something. It was always so coincidental.

"Okay, seriously, what's wrong?" Riku asked, this time blocking Sora's doorway to his bedroom.

"I'm fine," Sora lied, shaking his head. _Don't do this, Riku._

"You've been acting weird on and off today. Are you coming down with something? Or are you still worried that I'm going to make fun of you for earlier this morning?" Riku questioned, crossing his arms to his chest nonchalantly as he stood there, demanding an answer.

_Thanks for the loop-hole… _"Yeah," Sora lied again.

"I won't," Riku promised, shaking his head with a laugh. "There's far worse things than that. Now if you, for example, were taking-" Riku began but Sora cut him off.

"Uh, please don't go on," Sora said with a cringe, not really being in the mood for anything vulgar or perverted. Blue eyes fell to the floor as the brunet waited to gain entry into his bedroom.

"You okay?" Riku asked with a cautious tilt of his head.

"Mhm," Sora lied for the third time, timidly raising his glance. He didn't allow their eyes to meet. He knew that if he did, Riku would see right through him. He would know his plan. Somehow, he would just _know_.

"Hm…" Riku looked quite pensive for a moment. "Today was good, regardless of your random spacing out, which I pretty much can understand. New places, new people…" Riku trailed off and stared at Sora. "I was actually surprised that I had such a good time with you. _Really_ surprised."

"Heh," Sora said with a sudden blush appearing. "I'm… not that interesting…"

"But you're kind and fun," Riku pointed out. "Someone I can easily talk to without looking like a _complete_ idiot." Riku chortled at this, grinning flirtatiously as his thoughts drifted off momentarily.

"Well... you're easy to talk to also," Sora said. It wasn't a complete lie. Riku _was_ easy to talk to, but just not about _everything_. "Thanks again for the clothes."

"No problem," Riku answered with another grin. "You look good in them."

"T-thanks," Sora stammered, still not accustomed to compliments. _Is he… f-flirting… with… m-me?…_

Riku moved a bit to the side, allowing Sora to enter his room. The silver-haired male placed an arm on Sora's shoulder, turning the boy so they could face each other again. Riku appeared suddenly hesitant. Their faces were close, and he had every intention of kissing the beautiful brunet. After all, kissing seemed like a good idea after such a good day. And those lips of Sora's were … so appealing. And it felt like an attraction towards the brunet was growing inside of him.

But the words of the diary halted him. _He's never had a real … kiss before. Who am I to steal it and mean nothing by it…?_

Their breaths mingled and Sora found his whole body heating to the touch of Riku's hand on his shoulder. Part of Sora was uncertain of what Riku was doing, but another part was patiently waiting what he knew was to come.

Riku pulled away at the last moment, their lips only being a few inches away. Instead of kissing the brunet, he brushed past Sora, purposely allowing their hands to brush for a few seconds. The taller's fingers lightly curled around Sora's splayed ones, almost interlacing with one another. But before he could do that, those fingers fell away as he walked on by.

Sora blushed even darker before looking down at his fingers that felt like they were on fire… or had electricity on them. _Did he…. Want to… k-kiss me?_

_Do friends… kiss?_

**x**x**x**xxx**x**xxx**x**xx**x**xxx**x**

Riku went to bed earlier than usual that night without reading Sora's diary. Maybe if he had… he would have caught note of the last entry. If he had just _looked_ at it, _looked ahead_, he would have saved them such a hassle.

For when tomorrow came, things were going to go from good to _bad_.

* * *

What does any of this mean? review and find out! xD 


	7. sixth day

_this chapter took forever to write. I kept rewriting it, and then when i got what i wanted, my laptop died and i lost it... yes, that was very annoying for me. _

_in the world of me... not much has happened. sophomore year is boring ... and my lively writing class is amazing. with the addition of a lovely guy who loves edgar allan poe stuff. Soo yeah. and ... my birthday is october 1st ... three days after homecoming... and now i'm rambling. _

ENJOY THIS CHAPTER XD

**

* * *

****By Chance**

Sora looked as hesitant as a person could possibly be. After his last incident with the journal, Sora wasn't sure if he even _wanted_ to pick the diary back up. Curiosity got the better of the teenager as he grabbed the diary, quite desperately, from under the bed. Sora dropped it a few times before dropping it onto the bed, shakily opening the book. Perhaps this could keep his mind off later today. That sounded like a magnificent idea right about now.

"Where did I leave off," Sora murmured inaudibly as his slender fingers flipped through the slightly frayed pages. Blue eyes remained glued to the flipping contents until he came across the spot he had left off on.

"Aha," Sora said triumphantly before shifting positions so he would be more comfortable. The brunet then proceeded to lean his weight into his elbows as his eyes settled upon the literature before him (if you desired to call it such a thing).

_My friend asked me the other day what I imagine love to be. I told her that if I knew that, I probably would be in love already. She gave me an odd look and then said to describe what I'd wan from love. So, I said something along the lines of never wanting to leave the person, never wanting to be with anyone but him, smiling every time I saw him, his face being the only thing on my mind… I'd never be able to keep my hands off him and I'd ever let him from my side. He'd know me better than I know myself and so much more. My love would consume me, I bet you._

Sora cautiously reread the cursive script a few times. The way the author described love made it even more appealing to Sora. The brunet smiled softly at the words for a second time. Perhaps when today was over he could find a love like that.

"Maybe," Sora said in a gentle voice and went to put the journal back in its resting place. However, before he could do such, the brunet had second thoughts. Deciding to keep the invaluable book with him, Sora instead tucked the maroon object in the flap of his jacket.

"I wouldn't want Riku to find it," Sora mumbled.

Sora continued to lay on his bed, a million things running through his head. It seemed so odd that the day was finally here. The day that he'd been anxiously anticipating for over five months now. "I hope it goes well," Sora muttered under his breath, fingers playing with the fraying ends of his blankets.

Guilt, though, stung in Sora's chest and the brunet tried his best to ignore it. If he let the guilt overcome him, he wouldn't be able to go through with his plans. So it was best to not think about it too much right now.

Sora swung his body off the bed and walked placidly out of his room. The brunet left his coat on his bed, figuring he'd just grab it before he headed off. Sora closed the door and sheepishly made his way towards the kitchen, trying his best not to let his mind wander off. If he did that, he would surely have a breakdown from the plethora of troubling issues that were twirling around in his head.

"Morning, Sora," Riku called from over at his placement at the counter.

Sora blinked and then offered a warm smile towards his host. Something tugged at the brunet's heart, making the smallest shade of pink rush over his cheeks. _He almost kissed me last night_, Sora remembered, staring blankly at the silver-haired male. _And I _wanted_ him to… is it just because he's gorgeous and he was willing to…?_

"Morning," Sora managed to reply after a moment of reflection.

Riku took note of the reddish hue on Sora's cheeks. "Is it too warm in here? I can turn the thermostat down," Riku suggested as he set down the newspaper and allowed their eyes to meet from across the room. And it was _chilling_.

"No it's fine," Sora answered shortly.

The brunet made his way over to the table, careful not to trip over his own feet or walk into anything. He was out of it at the moment and it was hard to even _think_ correctly. Regardless, Sora managed to take the seat next to Riku without a word.

"I have to work down at the café later tonight," Riku informed Sora pointedly.

"Okay," Sora answered simply as he sauntered over to the fridge. The slender teen opened said appliance and peered inside curiously. "Do you have any juice?" he drawled as blue hues searched the interior of the refrigerator.

"Uh… no," Riku said with a frown plastering itself onto his face. "I can get some from the café, if you like. They have all sorts of flavors."

"That's fine, you don't need to do that," Sora murmured as he grabbed the bottle of soda. Next, he dragged the liter over to the counter and promptly sat down beside Riku again.

"Cup," Sora reminded himself, about to get to his feet for the third time.

"I'll get it. Sit down. You running around is making me dizzy," Riku muttered as he set his cup of coffee down and walked over to cabinets. The silver-haired male retrieved a purple glass and brought it back over to his younger brunet friend. "Here," Riku said as he offered the cup to Sora.

"Thank you," Sora replied with a smile as he took the glass from Riku's hands. Sora barely noticed that Riku deliberately avoided any contact. No fingers brushing. No lingering moments. Nothing at all.

"No problem," Riku said in a muffled voice as he took a sip of his brimming beverage.

"Any plans for today?" Sora asked quietly as he unscrewed the cap of the bottle and proceeded to pour himself a glass of soda, his eyes never really meeting Riku's again.

"Not really," Riku said honestly with a shrug. "I have to catch up on my stock work and stuff. I'll make it up for you tomorrow. We'll go do something innovative tomorrow," Riku explained a bit verbosely, seeming to ramble towards the end.

"No, no. I understand. You're busy. It's okay," Sora quickly interjected, shaking his head. "I'll… be on the computer and napping all day."

"Sounds good," Riku said with a sharp nod.

"I'm a heavy sleeper," Sora made known with a light laugh, despite his melancholic mood. "So it's best if I wake up on my own. I doubt you could wake me."

"Sure thing, Sora," Riku hummed, promptly rolling his eyes as he glanced down at the paper, as if expecting to see something interesting. When he didn't, he rose his aquamarine gaze up to the brunet's sapphire eyes.

Sora hesitantly grabbed his glass of soda and took a long sip, peering at Riku over the rim of the glass. The teen's cheeks scorched a light red that was barely noticeable. Sora just hoped that the silveret couldn't spot the blush. Sora wouldn't deny it, though. Riku was illegally beautiful. And Sora, regretfully, had one of those 'admire from afar' relationships with the older male. And that's the way Sora wanted to keep it. Besides, there was _no way_ that Sora could _ever_ see Riku in a romantic light.

"Has your friend contacted you yet?" Riku asked, as if to break the awkward silence.

"Who, Tidus?" Sora guessed and then shook his head, setting his glass down. "No, he hasn't." A frown appeared.

"I'm sorry," Riku mumbled and reached out to gently place his hand on Sora's shoulder. "Some people are just asses. They're just born that way."

"How elegant of you," Sora sighed under his breath, not daring to pull away from the hand.

"I'm not a motivational speaker, so excuse me if my logic sounds screwed up," Riku said with a flirtatious smirk.

"It's okay," Sora whispered, beginning to twiddle his thumbs in his laps.

"Anyhow, I better get to work," Riku declared as he swung his body off the stool and got to his feet. Though, he hesitated, not leaving Sora's side or removing his hand from the boy's shoulder.

"Okay," Sora complied but then looked to Riku with inquiry. "Something wrong?"

"No," Riku stated bluntly and eyed the brunet for a long moment before letting his hand slip from Sora's shoulder. "See you at dinner," Riku made known as he departed.

Sora sighed and looked weakly at the retreating form of his host. "If I'm back by then," Sora murmured under his breath. _Don't worry about me, Riku. I'm not worth your time, anyhow. _

**x**xx**x**xx**x**x**x**xxxx**x**xx**x**

"Hah, easy profit," Riku declare triumphantly as he closed the window to his account.

The silver-haired male lounged back against the bed's headboard and closed his laptop. Why he had two computers, not even he knew. Riku figured that since Sora was using his desktop, he might as well as make use of his laptop. Riku accredited his ability to spend money leisurely on the stocks and his father's eagerness to teach his son about the wonders of the stock market. For that, Riku was quite thankful. Hell, even Riku's step-father (his father's husband; his mother was still single and looking for her prince charming) took interest in the stocks and the three males discussed them sometimes. Sometimes being the key word.

Riku and Roxas were childhood friends, but that friendship had come into fruition because of their fathes. The two had grown up knowing each other, to some degree. When Naminé joined the bunch in later years, the three stuck together, talking and visiting sporadically. Even though it was a stretch to say that Roxas was a _friend_, it was nice to have a group of people he could converse with. 

"Hm…"

Riku broke from his train of thought and spared a glance at the diary that was resting on his nightstand. A curious look spread across his face like wildfire as he snatched the book and flipped it open to where he had conveniently bookmarked.

"You know … I'm curious," Riku said to himself as his fingers flipped to the last two entries of the notebook. "I wonder what he wrote before he came here…"

Riku read over the entry the night before Sora came quickly.

_Cloud told me that the guy I'm staying with will probably bring me shopping and sight-seeing. I'm… not sure if that's true or not. I've never met the guy in my life. For all I know, he'll hate me… I mean, I don't really get along with anyone outside of Tidus and Cloud…_

Guilt wrenched at the silver-haired teen as he stared at the words. So his assumptions were right… Riku sighed and frowned a bit. If he had known Sora was this timid around people and wasn't just an annoying twerp who thought he was superior, they probably would have been _best friends by_ now.

Riku went back to reading, trying to dismiss the idea that he had screwed up big time.

At the end he sighed, a bit louder, and looked around the room. Something didn't feel right in his chest. It was a mixture of two things. One he knew to be the dreaded _attraction _and another to be something he couldn't quite distinguish. It was a bad feeling; he knew that right off the bat. It was like something was off. Something was … wrong.

Riku shrugged it off and went back to reading. To reading the entry that he _should_ have read prior to this.

_June 23__rd_

_Cloud just dropped me off. I'm on the subway right now, to be exact. I've never been on one of these things before. What if it__ like … stops or breaks down? Will I die? Er… let's hope not. I really don't want to die right now. Not before I get my first kiss, my first real boyfriend, and get to fall in love and actually live life. __.. Haha, I'm being stupid and hopeful again. I get like that a lot. Oh well. I'm fine!_

_Let's see … oh yeah… that guy… that I've yet to mention in here, just in case Cloud got a hold of this… His screen name on my messenger Cloaked Schemer. Kind of a sadistic and cool screen-name, eh…_

_Well, anyway, moving on. I made a plan with this guy. _

_Maybe I should start at the beginning…_

_All right, about five months ago I met him on a forum. He said he knew my brother and that they went to high school together. I questioned it at first but he gave enough correct information. He said that his name wasn't important, and that mine wasn't either. So that comforted me a bit._

_Anyhow, we got to talking and we had a lot in common. Favorite foods and music and that sort of stuff. Everything was going good, you know? Until one day, it was like two months in, I started complaining about how Cloud never tells me anything about my parents… So CS (it's easier to write that) told me that he knew about their death and would tell me._

_So I asked. But he said that it'd be much easier if he told me in person. I asked why… and he said because it was too hard to explain over a computer. So I said to try, and he said no._

_Anyhow, I only recently agreed to it… A few weeks ago… You know, going over this Riku's house was a blessing in disguise, because in about a week or less, I'm meeting CS and he's telling me about my parents so I'll finally know. I trust him a lot. Who would waste five months on someone like me and not be nice?_

_Well, I'm meeting him at the corner of fifth and seventh street. It's a bit of a secluded place, he tells me, so he gave me directions so I wouldn't get lost. I plan to learn about my parents and … yeah. I think I actually might… sorta … kinda like CS. I mean, I can't tell until I meet him in person._

_I mean… he's kind enough to tell me, so yeah. And that's the plan… Wish me luck; I'm getting off now… it's my stop._

_Sora Kayaki_

Riku's heart stopped as he dropped the diary down onto the bed with instant stun and shock. His lips ghosted a slew of curses as his heart beat frantically against his chest, threatening to explode. The silver-haired male screwed his eyes shut tightly as he shivered.

And then he realized what was going on.

It took only twenty seconds to get his keys and leave the apartment, forgetting to lock it for the first time in two years.

**x**xx**x**xx**x**x**x**xxxx**x**xx**x**

Sora hugged his arms tightly to his chest as he traveled down the isolated street. It was a side-street, less traveled by pedestrians. This street apparently connected to the one that he was supposed to meet 'CS' at. Sora kept his eyes glued to the unfamiliar buildings in the distance, only briefly looking down to the address that had been scribbled in the back of the mysterious author's notebook. Sora figured that if he wrote it in there, he wouldn't forget it.

Regardless, the brunet continued on.

As he walked, the million things that had been swarming in his head resurfaced. One by one.

The first was Cloud. Why hadn't Cloud just _told_ him what happened to their parents? Was he that terrified of his younger brother knowing the truth? Sora shuddered at the thought. Cloud was probably just trying to protect him. From what? Sora had no plausible guesses. It was just death. Death couldn't hurt the living, unless, of course, they were the ones dying.

Cloud loved him, even Sora knew that. Cloud wanted to protect him … and Sora just felt like a pest. Part of the brunet didn't want to return to Riku's after his meeting. Part of him told him to just run away and start a new life so Cloud and Leon could be happy. Another part of Sora reminded him of how much grief Cloud would feel. It was a painful internal struggle. Sora knew which choice was right; it was just right now that judgment was being clouded.

The brunet's next thoughts centralized around Riku. Riku had almost _kissed_ him the night prior. Or was that a slip-up? Was Sora reading too much into it? Sora groaned out loud as he hurried his pace. "Riku's just a flirty idiot who I'm living with, that's all," Sora said in a pathetic attempt to convince himself that the spoken words were the truth.

Sora tensed when his eyes made contact with the street sign. _Seventh Street_.

"I'm… here," Sora whispered and glanced weakly around. There was barely anyone walking the streets. Just a couple down at the other side of the street, walking in the opposite direction.

Sora looked down at the journal and hugged it to his chest. _Whoever you are… you mean a lot to me. When…when I get back from this meeting… I'm going to find you. I'm going to meet you…_

"It's you, isn't it?"

Sora blinked and looked up from the maroon-notebook when he heard a deep and smooth voice cut through his thoughts. Sapphire eyes met a darker shade. Sora's spiky brown hair looked normal compared to this man's lilac. It was a rich and dark color, but not black. Perhaps a plum?

Sora blinked once more as he took in the man's sight. The stranger was cloaked in a black jacket along with black pants. Sora tensed when he realized that _something_ was attached to the stranger's belt loop. A… cell phone, perhaps?

"Cloaked?" Sora guessed, tilting his head to the side shyly. The man was … handsome in his own way … but for some reason, Sora didn't feel the way he thought he would. _I thought it'd be love at first sight. Wow. I'm such an idiot…_

"Ah, so it is you," the man replied as he motioned for Sora to follow him inside a small building that was at the corner of the streets. "My apartment," 'Cs' explained as he looked to Sora, his unreadable eyes glancing at the brunet.

"O…kay," Sora drawled as he hurriedly entered behind the stranger.

The small apartment was dark and _so_ unlike Cloud's and Riku's. It was a bit … depressing. Cobwebs and dust loomed about, giving it a non-appealing presence.

"My name's Zexion," informed the dark-haired man as he walked to the other side of the room, his back to Sora.

"Oh…" Sora said quietly, committing the newly acquired information to memory. "I'm Sora," Sora returned, a bit shy about giving his own name.

"I know," Zexion replied simply.

"You do? I thought you didn't?"

"Cloud told me about you in high school," the man explained as his fingers danced along the bare wall he faced.

Sora watched from where he was in subtle interest. _What is he doing? _"Oh," was the only thing Sora answered with, unable to think of a more intelligent or polite answer. The brunet's mind focused on one thing: his parents.

"Cloud never told you about your parents," Zexion sympathetically stated the obvious as Sora gave an affirmative nod.

"You _do_ know, right?" Sora asked hopefully, wishing that the other would just turn around and face him. Then again, Sora never was one for eye-contact.

"Of course," Zexion said as his fingers began drawing shapes on the walls. Shapes that had no real form or name. Some appeared to be circles with sides … whilst others just were scribbles.

"You can tell me, right?"

"I can," Zexion said shortly, finishing his drawing on the wall.

A moment of silence before Zexion questioned, "I hear you're living with Riku…"

"While Cloud is on vacation," Sora confirmed as he glanced around the room, his uneasiness fading.

"Ah," Zexion answered with a nod, his back still to the younger. "Do you get along with him?"

"I suppose," said Sora with a dismal shrug.

"I'm surprised that Cloud never told his _best friend_ what happened. Or his _brother_," Zexion commented with a lack of like towards the blond brother. His tone said what his words did not.

"Please, what happened to them," Sora begged, desperation filling him all of a sudden. It tore at the brunet not knowing the demise of the two people who had brought him into this world. Blue eyes were filled to the brim with fear and determination, a deadly combination that could easily be taken advantage of in the wrong hands.

"Your father was a great man," Zexion said as he turned around, his arms folding across his chest, his bangs falling over half of his face. "And your mother was an excellent lawyer. They both were wonderful people."

For some reason, just hearing this made Sora slip back into a content and anxious state. The brunet gave a hasty nod, silently telling Zexion to continue.

"But you see, your father and mine didn't really get along. Their jobs conflicted… they weren't … on good terms, to be vague," Zexion explained as he looked out the dusty window, hiding the dust-written words on the wall. "Apparently your father broke a deal with us…" Zexion paused and attempted to make eye-contact with the brunet.

Sora shivered, a bit scared to see where this conversation was going. "You're … saying?"

"_We_ killed them."

"Over a _deal?!_" Sora automatically retorted, disbelief drenched in his voice. "What kind of deal would make you _kill_ an entire family?!"

"The kind the government isn't aware of. I'm not going to waste time explaining everything to you," Zexion scoffed and waved his hands, dismissing the subjects.

"_You_ killed them?!" Sora demanded, his throat clenching; making it hard to breathe.

"I accompanied my father," Zexion corrected and blew on his hand, as if he was bored.

"How… how _could_ you possible _do_ that?!" This wasn't making any sense to Sora. People just didn't go around killing one another. What had his parents been involved in?"

"Cloud was there," Zexion pointed out with a shrug and glanced to the window once again. "He tried to stop us and negotiate, but it failed. I suppose he never told you because he didn't want you trying to find me."

"How… could you kill someone?" Sora shouted, tears clouding his eyes.

"You'd be surprised," Zexion muttered and arched an eyebrow at Sora.

"W-why… did you… tell me this?" Sora stammered, fear suddenly settling in after the shock. No longer was Sora shocked by the truth. No, he was now _terrified_ of the truth. Here he was, in an apartment, with his parents' _killer_. The man _had_ to be a psychopath to kill two people over a _deal_. It still made no sense.

"Because I wanted to personally tell you," Zexion said with a snicker. The man motioned to the words behind him. Written in dust were the names of his parents and their date of death. Apparently the dark-haired male found pleasure in remembering the way they had been slaughtered.

"You….You…" Sora slurred as he took a cautious step back. "You…" Sora couldn't even form any other word.

"You're not leaving," Zexion informed Sora as he smirked at the younger. "Did you honestly think that I would come to my victim's son without a reason?"

"You… are going to…" Sora tried to ask but felt his throat tightening, making it harder and harder to talk. _I should have never come… I should have listened to Cloud… I should have minded my own business… I'm nothing but a burden to everyone…_

"Kill you?" Zexion guessed and proceeded to chuckle distantly as he fingered the sheathed weapon on his belt. "I don't know. The idea seems intriguing, but I don't see a reason to. Not yet, anyways."

"Can… I… go?" Sora requested slowly, tears flooding from his eyes due to fear.

"And tell the police where I am?" Zexion questioned and rolled his eyes. "I'm not going to _kill_ you, but you're not leaving either. I'm not _that_ stupid."

"What do you want from me?!" Sora hollered in a demanding tone, crumbling to his knees weakly.

"I want you to beg for your life," answered the man with a dark smirk.

By now Sora had learned two things. One: Zexion never had any pure intentions, not even when they first talked on the internet; and two: the dark-haired man was a deranged psychopath with no remorse and a messed up mind. Sora shivered as his mind kept looping the same thoughts over and over like a broken record. _Why did I have to believe him? Why is this happening to me? Why couldn't I have just listened to Cloud… Will Cloud care? Will he be sad…? _

Sora felt the hot tears leak from his face, down his cheeks.

"You don't understand anything," Zexion whispered harshly as he began circling Sora like a lion would to its defenseless prey. That's all Sora was: helpless prey. The brunet fastened his eyes shut, not daring to move. If he did move, he would be terrified of being attacked by the weapon.

"Please," Sora begged, but strangely forgot what he was begging for. "Please…" Things like this did not _happen_ in real life. Bad scenarios were never this _bad_.

It was then when Sora felt cold metal at the base of his neck. Sora didn't dare to breathe, he was too terrified. A slender arm reached out from behind the brunet and snagged his wrist, preventing any movement. Sora compulsively winced and whimpered, feeling hot breath on the back of his neck. And it was so chilling.

"Please," Sora begged again, the tears falling from their pools.

"I have no mercy for people like you," Zexion hissed.

Sora's next pleas went unheard when the weapon clattered to the ground, making an echoing noise. The man's tight grip on Sora's pale wrist loosened and vanished completely. The dark-haired male pulled away from the short brunet, jerking his body around to glance at the stranger who had entered.

"Playing hero, are we?" Zexion sneered as he went to reach for the dropped gun.

"Touch it and you die," growled the stranger with such seriousness that it drilled holes through Sora's head, as the stranger unsheathed his own weapon.

"You don't even know how to use that thing," joked the stranger, straightening up. "The role doesn't fit you, by the way," he sneered cruelly.

"Touch him and I'll shoot you," hissed the stranger as the sound of a gun's barrel being shifted was heard.

Sora didn't even have the willpower to turn around. All he could feel was an icy substance making its way through his veins, weakening his body as it went. All Sora wanted to do was run. Run so far away. Run where he was safe with Cloud. _Why was I so naïve? Why did I put myself into this situation?_

"What are you planning to do? Threaten me?" laughed Zexion as he reached out and yanked on Sora's immobile arm. The brunet winced and yelped in pain whilst his knees gave in. Seconds later Sora sat weakly on the ground, on his knees to be precise, his head hung low. It was obvious that he had given up.

"You hurt him and I swear," threatened the stranger in such a tone Sora had never heard before. It wasn't just anger … it was something else.

"Sora and I were just discussing things into you so rudely showed up. We'd like it if you left us to our business. Isn't that right, Sora?" Zexion demanded as his thin fingers curled around the locks of brown.

Sora hissed in pain as he eyed the discarded gun by his hands. It was only then when Sora's eyes flickered upwards to meet the stranger's. Pools of cerulean met familiar aquamarine ones and Sora was at once lost.

"I'd think that a psychopath would be more suave then you," Riku sneered as he quickly looked away from Sora's eyes. Sora at once missed the comfort. "I thought that killing the boy's parents would be enough for you… but I guess I was wrong," Riku grumbled.

"So you were eavesdropping the entire time? How becoming," Zexion muttered darkly as he shook his head. "You're just as simple-minded as him." Zexion then pointed at the weak brunet whose fingers were slowly pulling the weapon closer.

"Let us go, unharmed, and we both won't say anything about this or you to anyone, okay?" Riku offered as concern flickered in his eyes.

"Destiny is destiny, Riku," Zexion pointed out, oblivious to Sora's newly acquired weaponry. "You can't avoid fate, either. It's just destined that I kill this boy and his brother, just like I did with his parents."

"Leave him be," Riku snapped, tightening his hold.

"You can shoot if you want," Zexion said with a non-phased shrug. "Won't do you any good."

"Then let us leave," Riku growled once again, his silver bangs falling down in front of his eyes.

"How'd you know he was here, anyhow?" Zexion questioned as he rose a hand to his chin, looking quite thoughtful. "Did he _tell_ you?"

Sora shook his head violently, confusion spreading through him. _How did Riku find me, then…? I made sure to delete my passwords from his computer… so how did he know about this meeting place?_

"No, he didn't tell me," Riku mocked and advanced, coming face-to-face with the dark-haired man. "If you want a fight, then leave Sora out of it. I'll be _glad_ to beat the shit out of you."

"No fighting. Not now, anyway," Zexion mumbled, and slipped past Sora's crumbled form towards the middle of the room. "Leave. It won't do you any good. You can't avoid the inevitable."

"Oh shut the fuck up," Riku groaned as he kept his weapon steady. The silver haired male's free hand extended outwards to lightly grab at Sora's free one.

"Sora… hey," Riku said softly, looking down at the broken brunet. "You okay…?"

"Ri… ku," Sora whispered painfully, his mind trying to wrap itself around everything. Zexion had _killed _his parents and now wanted to _kill_ him. And now Riku was here to _save_ him. Sora shuddered a bit as his hand weakly tangled itself with the silver haired male's. "You…"

"We'll talk later," Riku murmured smoothly, giving a light squeeze to their hands. "Let's just get out of here," he reassured the brunet.

"Not a word," Zexion reminded the pair as he left into the depths of his apartment, as if he wasn't bothered or unnerved by everything that just happened.

"Do you want me to kill him?" Riku asked Sora, helping the trembling teen to his feet. Sora fell forward into Riku's chest, burying his head against his chest. Countless apologies fell from the burnet's lips as he nuzzled his cheek into Riku's firm chest.

"Don't ever do that again," Riku scolded as his fingers played with Sora's, trying to calm his shaking friend. "We could have done our own research to figure out what happened to them, Sora…"

"I'm so sorry," Sora said, barely inaudible. Blue eyes were tightly shut as his hand that wasn't in Riku's dropped the other man's gun. "So… sorry."

"The world's a dangerous place," Riku reminded Sora as he pocketed his own weapon. Now with a hand free, he wrapped his arm around the teenager and began brushing his knuckles down Sora's back.

"I didn't think this would happen," Sora slurred, wanting nothing more than to stay in his friend's arms.

"Let's just get out of here," Riku muttered as he tugged on their adjoined hands.

After a few moments, Riku had lead Sora outside and onto the bright streets. The pair headed towards Riku's apartment. Riku kept his hand tightly interwoven with the brunet's, randomly looking at Sora as they walked side-by-side. Sora's usually bright blue eyes were clouded with confusion and aftershock. He could have _died_. He walked into the trap of a _killer_. And somehow, he had gotten away safely because of _Riku._

_I should have known to not trust someone like him … I shouldn't have done this… I must look like a moron now… I am, after all… But how did Riku… Maybe he just felt… a vibe? _Sora sighed and soon became vaguely aware of the other's hand in his. A light blush crossed Sora's face as he eyed the tangled fingers.

_Is it… natural to feel like this?_ Sora wondered as the color grew. He said nothing and continued walking with his friend, terrified to ask any more questions. All he knew was that Riku wasn't going to forgive him anytime soon.

And he had a lot of explaining to do when they returned home.


	8. dearly beloved

_For updates ... i'll make sure to do it once every week. Sometimes twice a week, depending on how fast I can write. It's not school, but my actual thought process that's lagging. But do not fear! There will be an update every week! I couldn't go any longer without writing something for you guys. Anywho next top._

_Secondly, here's a bit about life. Lively Writing is amazing. I'm learning a lot, so expect many improvements over this year. I mean, I'm only a sophomore... so I have lots of time to improve over my highschool years. It's exciting. My other classes are okay... except Bio. My teacher believes that she's an alien... Right. And I'm borrowing my friend's Final Form Sora action figure. He went to Otakon without me.. But i may be going to Anime Boston this year. Depends... No idea. I'd be going as either Riku or Sora. SURPRISE. haha... (or I can go as Yuki and freak my friend out ;D ... )_

_Now... for the challenge. Yes, a challenge! Either write a oneshot thing or draw a picture. They're equal in my eyes. The theme is ... broken picture frames. Yes, I'm weird. I wanted to give an abstract theme. It can be angst if you desire. Do what ever you want with it. Be creative The pairing can be either RikuSora or Akuroku... though I'd prefer RikuSora The prize. The prize is ... well, I'll write whatever you want. As long as it's RikuSora... i'm only good at that. So yeah. The deadline is October 1st (because it's my birthday and I'll be able to remember haha) So Yeah. Go to my profile for my email._

_I think that's all ... All right, here's the chapter!_

**

* * *

**

**By Chance**

The closing of the apartment door sent a wave of shock and realization into the brunet. Sapphire hues widened and peered around timorously. The teen did not dare meet the other's sea-green gaze. Instead, the boy remained silent. He stood by the hallway (the one that led to the bedrooms) wordlessly, fumbling with his jacket zipper in the meantime. What was there to say?

Hands reached out and latched onto stiff shoulders, jerking Sora's gaze upwards. Two sets of eyes met, one being considerably angrier. It went without saying what eyes held the obvious rage.

"You could have died," Riku divulged with no trace of pity in his voice.

Sora shifted uncomfortably. For some reason, the brunet suddenly felt quite desolate. It was as if Riku was no longer his friend; it was almost as if Riku hated him now. "I was doing fine," Sora said in a barely audible whisper. The boy's eyes shifted away from Riku's seconds after.

"You would be dead if I hadn't-" Riku began dogmatically but Sora cut him off.

"I didn't _ask_ you to save me!" Sora retorted brusquely as he eyed a random object with anger.

"I would have thought you'd be more thankful," Riku muttered under his breath.

"Just leave me alone," Sora demanded in a strained voice. The teenager attempted to pull out of his 'ex friend's' grasp but his plan was thwarted. Riku's grip on his shoulders increased ten-fold, making it impossible to move.

"Why did you do that? Why did you trust a complete stranger?" Riku questioned. What he **wanted** to say was ineffable. If only Sora could read minds.

"I'm stupid, okay? I'm just a _stupid_ boy who risked his whole life to find out about his parents. Is _that_ what you wanted to hear?" Sora seethed as his eyes snapped shut. The brunet was unable to look at the fury on Riku's face, knowing **he** had caused it.

"Sora…" Riku breathed, the other's name sounding so sinfully _right _on his lips.

Sora took note of the rapid change of Riku's mood. "Are you…" Sora proceeded to correct himself with, " Do you hate me?"

"No," Riku answered simply.

The words and shake of his head were not enough, but the glimmer of honesty and enamor in his eyes was.

"I just wanted to know," Sora whispered as his vision clouded. It was **so **painful.

"I understand that," Riku replied. The silver-haired male allowed his grip on Sora's shoulders to slip down to his short friend's waist.

"I'm sorry," Sora mumbled as he leaned into Riku's warm embrace. "So sorry…"

"You need to trust me," Riku informed the brunet. Careful hands, meanwhile, began to rake through brown locks of hair in a rhythm.

"We barely know each other," Sora said with a trace of depression in his voice.

"We've known each other for six days, it's good enough," Riku retorted quite stubbornly.

"Mhm," Sora agreed after a moment of thought. The brunet rested his head against the taller's chest. "How did you know I was there?"

A feeling akin to ice appeared in Riku's heart. There was no way he could tell Sora he had his diary. Not now. He was **too** far in. A shiver trekked along Riku's spine moments later before he dared to answer. "I followed you."

"Oh," Sora said simply, accepting the answer without hesitation.

"Yeah," Riku murmured as his lithe fingers brushed through Sora's hair, acting as miniature combs. _It feels nice to have him in my arms. Too nice._

"Do you _have _to go to work?" asked Sora as he nuzzled his face against Riku's chest. It was obvious that the brunet welcomed the other's touch.

"I'd have to call Roxas and ask. Though he's not too fond of me skipping out on my duties," Riku reasoned with himself.

"Just… say… you're sick. Please, Riku?" And it took all of Riku's will power to deny the bright, blue eyes.

"Sora?" Riku asked after a long moment of silence had fallen upon the pair of teenagers. All that could be heard was the equal beating of their hearts, sounding, if just for this moment, as one.

"Yeah…?"

"Don't cry," Riku said gently as his grip around he brunet tightened.

Sora blinked. He wasn't aware until this moment that he had been crying. "Sorry," the brunet muttered.

"It's fine," Riku answered as he pulled their bodies apart, disdainfully. "Let's go out for dinner and see if I can squeeze in a few hours of work," Riku suggested casually and then whispered directly into Sora's ear. "We'll talk later."

The very idea sent shivers down Sora's spine.

**x**x**x**x**x**x**x**xxxx**x**xx**x**

"Riku, you look troubled," Naminé commented as she took a seat at the counter alongside her friend. Sora was on Riku's other side, engulfed entirely by the current performer on the small jazz stage.

"It's nothing big," Riku answered placidly. Sora's business was something he would keep to himself.

"Are you and Sora doing any better?" she kindly asked.

Riku turned to look at the blonde female. Her blue eyes met his and he knew keeping things, regarding himself, was out of the questions. Naminé could just _tell_ when people were lying. It was her gift, in a way.

"There's…" Riku struggled to think of the right words. How could he express the odd attraction he felt? At first it seemed purely physical, but the diary and everything else just added to the peculiar feeling. Just what did all of this mean?

"Hm…." Naminé took a moment to inspect the contemplative look on Riku's face. "usually you have such a way with words. So, what could possibly render you speechless?"

"Naminé, listen," Riku began steadfastly when he noticed Sora's eyes glued to him. Riku stared back for a moment before looking away quickly. "I'll be behind the counter," Riku informed Naminé in a grumble as he made his way towards his destination.

Sora frowned and looked to his feet. "He said he wasn't mad, but I honestly think he is…"

"What happened?" Naminé questioned as she looked to her new friend with worry. He looked _awfully _tired.

"Noting," Sora replied with a dishearten sigh. That, for sure, sent off red flags in the blonde's head.

"You're no better at lying than Riku. You both are acting peculiar. It's obvious something happened," Naminé said quite stubbornly.

"I'm just confused," Sora confessed as his gaze wandered behind the counter to where Riku was serving a random customer.

"Confused about what?" Naminé pried as she tilted her head curiously.

"Well, you _are_ a therapist," Sora said, reasoning with his restless mind aloud. "It's just…" Sora dropped his voice to a whisper. "Ever since Riku started being nice to me…"

"Go on," Naminé urged when Sora had abruptly stopped.

"It's like he's a completely different person. He cares about what I think and how I feel. And instead of feeling angry at him… it's just…an odd feeling, I guess."

"Describe it?" Naminé requested hopefully.

"When he's close I can't breathe and my stomach feels weird. My throat gets tight and I'm at a loss for the right words. When he talks his voice soothes me.. And when he looks at me I can't look back because I shiver if our eyes meet. I don't know, I just feel weird around him!" Sora finished in a flustered ramble, an image of the silver haired male floating into his head.

Naminé knew what that feeling was. Though, she chose not to say. "I don't know, Sora. Try to figure it out?"

"I've been trying! But- It just keeps getting worse!" Sora stuttered. Crushes usually didn't make him feel **this** jumbled up. Was this something else? Or… was this just a _really strong_ crush?

"Sometimes I feel that way about Roxas," she admitted as her tranquil eyes wandered to the owner who was taking an order.

"So it's… natural?" Sora asked optimistically.

"As normal as normal can be," she said with a hint of sadness laced in her voice.

"Does Riku feel like that too?" Sora wondered. The concept that his heart, soul, body, and _mind_ liked Riku wasn't clicking with Sora. Not yet.

"Maybe," Naminé answered.

"Should I ask him?" Sora wondered, his eyes still glued to his guardian angel.

"Tell him what you feel, if you want. Maybe he can help you figure it out," Naminé said as she took a sip from her green tea. "But don't do it just because I said you should."

"Will he laugh at me?" Sora inquired with a heavy amount of hesitation.

"Will who laugh at you?"

Sora fell off the stool he was resting upon when Riku had unexpectedly come over. How much of that did he hear?! The brunet scrambled onto his feet and back onto the stool. Aquamarine eyes met blue and Sora paled. "H-hi Riku…"

"What's wrong?" Riku asked curiously as he leaned against the counter towards his younger friend.

"Nothing at all," Sora drawled quite dramatically. The nodding of his head was only for added confirmation.

"Oh, Sora," Riku teased. "Why must you keep things from me?"

"Shut up," Sora grumbled as his eyes shifted away.

"What's wrong?" Riku asked once again.

"I'm just worn out," Sora answered hesitantly.

Naminé then said, "Why don't you ask Roxas if you can leave early? He'll understand." She eyed the two males with curiosity and a dousing of interest.

"After I perform," Riku agreed with his friend and looked to Sora, as if wanting to say more.

"Good," Naminé replied softly as she arose from her placement on her own stool. "I'll be at the tables if you need me." With that, the blonde walked away with a barely noticeable wink towards Sora.

"Hey," Riku said in an oddly sultry voice, directly into Sora's ear. The hot breath made Sora tense immediately.

"Yeah?" Sora timidly responded.

"Cheer up, would you?" Riku smirked. The silver haired male brushed his fingers along Sora's jaw and then pulled away.

"R-r…" Sora squeaked, his ears burning as he shyly looked over his shoulder towards Riku.

"I won't tell Cloud anything," Riku whispered, his gaze softening.

Sora wanted to answer with a polite, "Thank you," but instead asked, "Why?"

Riku gave the question serious thought. However, the entire time he thought he kept his eyes locked with the other pair from the other side of the counter. "Dunno. Because I like you?"

With one last flirtatious grin, Riku sauntered off to go back to work, leaving Sora gaping, confused, blushing, and wanting **more**.

**x**x**x**x**x**x**x**xxxx**x**xx**x**

"You've never gone home early," Roxas pointed out as Riku exited the stage after having played an acoustic version of, 'Mad World'. His aquamarine eyes were distant and strangely vibrant tonight. The male looked … displaced.

"Sora and I had a rough day. That's all," Riku explained as he leaned his back against the stage, eyeing his blond boss.

"You're awfully interested in him," Roxas noted with a playful grin.

"And you mean what by that?" Riku retorted with a puzzled look.

"Not sure myself. You're just not one for making new friends," Roxas said as he crossed his arms and stared out at the jazz café.

"And you are? Ever since you and Axel got together, you've distanced yourself from the world," Riku made known with a frown appearing on his slim features.

"Riku, I love him. It's natural to want to spend time with your lover," said Roxas in a serious tone, as if hoping not to offend.

"Love sucks," Riku remarked irritably.

"Just because you had a few sour relationships and some unrequited love does not mean you're destined to be alone," Roxas explained sternly.

"It means that whoever I like won't ever like me back," Riku seethed as his fists clenched by his sides.

"This is about the boy, isn't it," Roxas said with certainty. The blonde grinned from ear to ear seconds after.

"Sora?" Riku guessed lamely.

"So it is," Roxas concluded as his grin turned into a playful smile. "You like your best friend's brother?"

"I _never_ said that. I _will_ admit that he's beautiful and-" Riku cut himself off when he saw the brunet passed out in a booth. "-and…"

Roxas looked to Riku curiously, expecting his taller friend to continue.

"And I think I like him," Riku murmured as his feelings came crashing down onto him. This was no longer physical attraction. This was full-out 'like'.

"Cloud'll kick your ass," Roxas pointed out with a shrug.

"I'm not gonna tell him, idiot. I spent almost an entire week becoming his friend. I'm not going to mess that up," Riku groaned, his eyes hungrily looking at Sora's slumbering body.

"You've got it _bad_," Roxas taunted and glanced at the next performer who had gone on stage. "Go home, Riku. Make use of your time."

"What?…"

"You know what I mean," Roxas answered and then shooed his friend towards Sora's booth.

**x**x**x**x**x**x**x**xxxx**x**xx**x**

Riku figured he'd let Sora sleep for a few hours (until eight) then wake the brunet up to have a snack and finish their talk, as promised. Riku sat at his computer desk currently, busily messing with stocks. However, stocks weren't the only thing he was working on. Others windows contained random written excerpts … and oddly a dialogue.

"What the hell do I say? 'Hey Sora, I'm suddenly attracted to you and I think we should make the most out of this month and fuck like rabbits?' He'll _murder_ me!" Riku muttered angrily as he deleted a few lines of speech.

"Maybe…" Riku began after a moment but shook his head.

The sound of footsteps halted and hindered any more thoughts on he matter. Aquamarine eyes rose as he pressed CTRL + A and then delete. Riku looked to his bedroom door. Moments later, a tired Sora appeared, yawning all the while.

"Riku…" Sora yawned as he walked towards his friend. "Did you… carry me back?"

"Yeah. No big deal," Riku said, waving off the topic.

"You didn't have to do that," Sora pointed out as he Riku motioned him over. Sora hesitantly did such and sat on the edge of Riku's bed. The brunet stared at his friend.

"I didn't want to wake you up," Riku answered as he closed all his windows on his laptop and looked over to Sora.

"Oh… well then, thanks," Sora said quietly as he laced his hand together in his lap. "Listen… Riku… I didn't mean to make you worry. I didn't-"

"Sh," Riku commanded as he extended his hand across the air and placed a single finger onto Sora's lips. "I get why you did it. You were desperate. I know."

"You could have," Sora choked on his words as tears formed in the corner of his eyes. "You could have been hurt," Sora managed, having finally gotten the words out of the back of his throat. "And it would have been my fault," Sora finished as a tear leaked from his eye.

"Sora…" Riku allowed his finger to slip away. The silver haired teen arose from his chair and walked a foot to the bed and promptly sat down beside his younger friend. Riku was quite surprised to see Sora crying. He was even more surprised when Sora shifted and leaned his head against Riku's chest, his small hands gripping Riku's shirt.

"You could have been hurt," Sora repeated in a strangled whimper as his fingers dug into Riku's soft, and now damp, shirt.

"You could have been too. And I would rather it have been me then you," Riku murmured as he instinctively moved his arms so that they were tightly around Sora's form.

"Don't say that," Sora whined, as his fingers curled up tighter.

"Give yourself more credit, Sora. You're an amazing person," Riku pointed out and lowered his head so he could speak more easily. "I'm surprised the guys aren't all chasing you."

"As if," Sora mumbled as he nuzzled his cheek against Riku's chest. "There's only been one guy who liked me, and that was for a day. He kissed me then said it was a bad idea and told me to forget about it. Pathetic, huh?"

"That's not pathetic," Riku argued. "Don't judge yourself-"

"I just want to know what it feels like to be with someone who cares. Cloud always looks so _happy_ when he's with Leon... What does it feel like, Riku?" Sora asked softly as his fingers lightly stroked his friend's chest. The action was oddly soothing to both parties.

"It feels good. I don't know the right words," Riku admitted and looked off to the side.

"Does it feel like you can't breathe when you're around them? Like… your stomach feels all weird and your throat is really tight?" Sora wondered in a nervous voice.

"Sometimes," Riku replied with a dismal shrug.

"Oh…" Sora gulped a bit and then requested, "Would you mind if… I moved a bit so it's more comfortable?"

"Not at all," Riku responded.

Riku wasn't expecting Sora to throw his legs over Riku's lap and shift slowly until his bottom was resting on his friend's legs. "Riku," Sora said with a gentle smile that was invisible to his friend. The brunet buried his face into the crone of the silver haired male's neck.

"Cloud was talking to me last night about how proud he is of me… He told me that he'll do anything to see me succeed, that I deserve the best… do you think he was lying?"

"No, he wasn't," Riku answered as his cheeks tinted a light shade of red. "He loves you and wants you to be as happy, or happier, than him."

"So… this entire time… I was thinking that Cloud just views me as a pest… but that's not true at all, is it?" Sora asked and then laughed nervously, his hands resting flatly on the writer's chest.

"Cloud has a hard time showing his love, I would know," Riku muttered and allowed his hand to slip up into Sora's hair, lightly tugging at the strands.

"Oh…" Sora said simply and then closed his eyes. "You know, I actually thought that maybe Zexion and I would hit it off… I actually thought that maybe he would want to date me."

"It's hard to really know a person without meeting them in real life," Riku remarked and rested his chin on the top of the brunet's head.

"Tell me about it…" Sora said as his thoughts lingered off onto the journal that now rested under his bed. _Will the author be anything like I imagine him to be like?… Will he be like Riku? Will he even like me?…_ Another tear leaked from Sora's eyes as his grip on Riku's shirt tightened.

"From now on, Sora, don't keep things from me. I'm your friend, aren't I?" Riku murmured as he glanced down at the teen. Eyes widened when he saw the tears resurfacing. "Don't cry, Sora."

"You said that… a person sometimes feels nervous around someone they're dating and stuff… does that apply to crushes?…" Sora wondered and stiffened, his heart stopping for a moment.

"Does Sora have a crush?" Riku teased and then paused when Sora's gaze rose to meet his.

"I dunno," Sora answered and placed his hands shyly on Riku's shoulders.

"Sora-" Riku began but the sound of a ringing phone cut him off. Riku cringed as Sora's grip around Riku's shoulders loosened until the arms were completely gone.

"I think it's Cloud," Sora mumbled as he swung his body off Riku's lap, at once missing the warmth. "I'll… get it," Sora made known as he exited Riku's room, leaving the silver haired male alone.

_He's so … perfect._

**x**x**x**x**x**x**x**xxxx**x**xx**x**

"Hey, Cloud," Sora said as he leaned against the couch, holding his head with confusion. _Do I… like Riku? Is it okay to like your big brother's best friend? Am I… allowed to like Riku? Maybe I'm not. Riku's too good for me. Riku deserves someone rich and beautiful. Yeah, he deserves the best. He's so kind and nice and-_

"How are you today?"

Sora cringed at the reminder of everything that had happened. "Oh. I'm good. How about you? What'd you do today?" Sora asked quickly, trying to divert the subject away from himself and his bad day.

"Well, Leon-" Cloud began as Sora's mind wandered off.

_He almost kissed me the other night. Or was that an accident?… But our hands… he purposely made them touch… Does he like me, too? Does he consider me a substitute for my brother? _Sora's stomach lurched as he tightly shut his eyes. _He doesn't like me. He would have told me… I think?_

"Sora?" Riku asked as he walked into the room, arms folded across his chest.

Sora blinked and said a mumbled response to Cloud before mouthing to Riku, "Hey".

"Sora, you're awfully quiet today. Is something wrong?" Cloud asked in a concerned tone.

"Nothing's wrong," Sora answered automatically as he watched a grin appeared on Riku's lips. Sora arched a brow as Riku sauntered over to him until only an inch separated their bodies. "Riku?" Sora whispered.

"All right, good," Cloud said and then went on to explain what else he had done that day.

"I'm gonna go to bed, it's late," Riku whispered as his hand extended outwards to rest on Sora's cheek. The brunet blushed and shifted his gaze down to the floor, trying to listen and comprehend what his older brother was telling him.

"Okay," Sora whispered back and tried not to let the male's thumb grazing his reddened cheek

"Tomorrow will be a good day," Riku informed the brunet as his free arm wrapped around the teen's waist.

Sora's eyes widened as he dropped the phone altogether. "Ri-?" Sora began in a question but was silenced when he felt a pair of velvety soft lips press against his own. Blue eyes widened, tearing up a bit, before closing all together. The weak arms of Sora reached out and clung to Riku's shirt, pulling the silver haired male closer, as if not to break the kiss.

Riku smiled against Sora's lips, allowing the wet texture of his own lips to cover Sora's. It was chaste, but it lingered. The silver haired teen's eyes also lidded as he meshed their lips together again.

Sora felt his entire body heat up as he shyly pushed his lips out and returned the kiss, shaking against Riku's body. Riku placed a final kiss to Sora's lips, pulling on Sora's bottom lip attentively, before pulling away. The male leaned closer and whispered softly, "Finish the call with your brother and go to bed. Goodnight, Sora."

And Sora was at once lost in a daze, engulfed by Riku's kiss.


	9. seventh day

_I'm sorry that this chapter took so long to get out. It took me awhile to plot with my lovely beta, but I'm pleased to inform you all that I know have a direction and idea for the next few chapters, so be happy. At first, I thought that this chapter would be fillerish, but after writing it, I realized that this chapter is quite crucial to all of the character's development. As well as the relationship and insight into how Sora's mind works. I'm hoping that everyone will enjoy this and know that the next few chapters are going to lead on into the drama and whatnot. I apologize, yet again, for the delay on updating this. That lemon I wrote took my attention away from this for a few days. Any how, this is finally up and I hope you all enjoy it. Leave a review, if you can. please._

* * *

**By Chance**

It was hard for the brunet to get to sleep that night. The events of the day prior kept replaying in his head, over and over. What was mostly on his mind was the bittersweet kiss that the pair had shared. Blue eyes fastened onto the closed door, as if expecting the silver haired male to walk in at any moment. When he did not, the brunet emitted a strained sigh and nuzzled his tired head against his pillow. The hour was ten in the morning. At most, Sora had slept for three hours, on and off.

_Who am I kidding? The kiss was amazing_, Sora thought weakly as his fingers played with the fraying ends of his blanket. _Riku kissed me. Riku kissed me_, Sora repeated in his head, the mantra never ceasing.

"Does that mean he wants to be with me?" wondered Sora as his eyes shifted up towards the ceiling. Briefly, the brunet pretended that the white-washed ceiling held all his answers. In another moment, he pretended that when he asked a question, the ceiling responded with its own words. When that moment ended, Sora sighed and covered his tired blue eyes with his hands.

"I need to stop thinking so much!" Sora decided in a strained voice as he violently jerked his pillow from behind his head. Shortly after, the brunet allowed the plush object to make contact with his head. A whimper of pity passed through Sora's lips seconds after.

"I _do_ want to be with Riku," Sora reasoned with himself as he snagged the diary from beneath his bed. "But… this author…" Sora trailed off as he rose the maroon notebook to his eyelevel. Careful cerulean hues inspected the object before a frown materialized on Sora's features.

Sora hurriedly flipped the notebook open, pausing at the page he had left off on. "Let's see… where was I, where was I," Sora repeated under his breath, his trembling fingers prodding at the pages attentively. After a moment of more ruthless searching, Sora finally came across the excerpt he had left off on. The brunet then began to read out loud, under his breath.

"Today was a horrible day. My best friend informed me that she was leaving for a week, my other best friend said that he was planning a trip out of the country, and _then_ at work I spilt coffee all over me. Steaming hot coffee all over new clothes does _not_ make for a good mix, trust me." Sora laughed and then smiled before continuing.

"When I returned home, I was looking through my old photo album and yearbook. It's amazing how much people can change over a course of a few years. I mean, I looked back at my two best friends, and they look completely different now. A lot better too.

"And then I looked at my old school picture. Haha. I cringed. It was so bad. Not that I'm anything worth a second glance now, but still (though people have told me otherwise). Then I came across a picture of my ex boyfriend. That was so difficult. He was my first boyfriend, my first kiss, and the first and _only_ time I played submissive in a relationship. Though, it never went farther than shameless groping, but you get the picture. I sure do." Sora set the notebook down.

His blue eyes stared up at the ceiling, attempting to conjure up a face for the no-named author. What did he look like? Did he look half as good as Riku? "Riku…." Sora whimpered and covered his hands with his eyes, splaying his fingers.

"I can't kiss Riku again if I like… this author…" Sora reasoned in a mutter, smacking his forehead. "it wouldn't be fair to Riku. It wouldn't be fair to me."

After a moment of deliberation, Sora declared loudly, "I'll go see him then! But how?…" Sora sighed and went back to reading aloud, desperately trying to put a name to a face while part of his mind imagined what it'd be like to be beneath the author … or to be beneath Riku. His thoughts were audacious but Sora really didn't care.

"Any way, my friend suggested that I write my address in this-" Sora began and then squeaked abnormally loudly. The brunet's eyes widened as he quickly read over the words, unable to speak.

…_in this in case I lose it. Any how, it's 333 Grove Street, off of Picket Street. That one. _Sora grinned widely and tried to think of where that was. _I think that's a few blocks away? _Sora wondered and tapped his chin. This was Destiny Avenue … and he could have sworn he saw a sign for Picket.

"I'll ask Riku where it-" Sora began but then frowned "Riku will think I'm trying to see Zexion again… he won't let me meet a complete stranger." Sora smacked the notebook against his forehead in utter vexation.

"But I have to know!" Sora argued with himself, the frown still visible. "I have to know who this author is! I just… I just need to know if these _stupid_ feelings I have for him are actually real." Sora sighed and ran a tired hand through his head. Sora, right now, had an abundance of torpor.

Sora thought for a moment. "I wonder what his name is… I bet it's something really unique."

Sora grinned and put the notebook under the bed, committing the address to memory. _This won't be like it was with Zexion. I'll ask Riku to bring me to the mall. I'll tell him that I want to do some shopping and that he should come back in three hours to pick me up. That'd be a good plan. Yeah._

"I'll do that," Sora concluded. "Tomorrow."

Sora taped his fingers against his pillow and then swung his body off the bed. Slender fingers rose and pressed themselves to his lips, trying to remember exactly how the other's kiss had felt. _Riku…_ Sora thought weakly and exited his bedroom.

Sora was at once greeted with a sweet aroma of what seemed to be pancakes. "I love pancakes!" Sora declared, oblivious to the fact that Riku was standing at the end of the hallway in the archway to his own bedroom.

"They're cooking right now," Riku informed Sora as he walked down the hallway towards the brunet whose back was facing him. "They should be done in a few minutes," Riku went on to say as he brushed past Sora, his aquamarine eyes peering over his shoulder at Sora as he went. And those eyes _shimmered_.

Sora blushed and eyed the wall. _I'm pathetic. I'm crushing on my brother's best friend … and an author I've never met! Wonderful! I should get an award for my idiocy!_

Sora sighed and walked into the kitchen, hugging his arms to his chest. It wasn't until Sora had entered the kitchen that Riku noticed that Sora was wearing the pair of pants they had purchased together. An enigmatic grin spread across Riku's crafty lips as he stared at Sora from a few feet away.

"Did you know that today marks an entire week that we've been living together?" Riku asked as he turned around and went to removing the pancakes from the pan. The male's skilled wrists flicked at just the right time, removing the fluffy food with ease.

"It's amazing," Sora said with a laugh as he graciously took the plate that Riku offered to him. Their eyes met and Sora froze to the spot, his hands trembling as he held the pancakes.

"Sora?"

"Yeah?" Sora asked wearily, his breathing turning heavy all of a sudden.

"The tags are still on your pants, you doofus," Riku said in a low voice.

Sora blushed and cleared his throat, completely embarrassed. His embarrassment grew when Riku's hand had extended into the air and went to ripping one of the two tags off; the one that hung off the hip. The sticker, though, that was stuck incredibly close to the brunet's inner thigh was the last to go. Dexterous fingers of Riku tediously ripped the sticky object away, the pads of his fingers lingering on the clothed surface.

"Thanks," Sora said quietly, not trusting himself to say anything more.

"Got any plans today?" Riku asked casually as he took a seat at the counter, beckoning for Sora to come over.

Still a dark red, Sora sauntered over and placed his pancakes onto the counter. The boy's body still shivered from the near-suggestive touch. _He was just being helpful… I mean… He didn't mean anything by that, right? _"Not really," Sora replied honestly, poking at his breakfast with a fork.

"It's raining," Riku pointed out and motioned over his shoulder to the window above the kitchen sink. "Want to stay in and watch movies and all that cheesy crap?"

Sora laughed and grinned. "Sounds like a plan."

Riku twirled his fork around his pancakes, bearing a mirrored grin. "Good."

"How'd you sleep?" Sora wondered after he swallowed, loving the taste of the pancakes. They were milky and soft and fluffy and fruity all at the same time. The combination was _breathtakingly _marvelous.

"Eh… okay," Riku answered and used his free hand to rub his forehead. "I had a lot on my mind. It took me awhile to get to sleep."

"Same," Sora responded and swung his legs back and forth over the edge of the seat, feeling a bit awkward all of a sudden. "These are good," he whispered, daring not to look over at his host.

"Thanks." Riku smiled brightly and closed his eyes briefly. "These are like the only things I can cook. I suck at cooking."

"You had me fooled," Sora said with a grin. "Everything you've cooked has been good."

"Now you're lying, buttering me up. What do you want?" Riku asked curiously, his eyebrows arching in such a way that a rainbow could be put to shame.

The question was taken in the wrong notion by Sora. _What do I want_? Sora repeated in his head, the color returning to his cheeks. _I want to kiss you again… but that'd be selfish and Cloud would kill me if he knew that I liked his best friend and oh my god, I need to stop talking to myself._ "Nothing," Sora lied in a slur.

"Okay." Riku seemed to accept the answer without hesitation. For that, Sora was thankful.

"Cloud said that he learned how to tango," Sora said with a snicker, trying to make the awkward air disappear. _I need to stop thinking about Riku as anything more than a friend. It's obvious that I like him… but he kissed me. Does that me he really does like me back? Or was he just being nice? Or was he just trying to fulfill his own needs._

"I can't imagine that," Riku said with a chuckle and a toss of his silvery head. "Cloud's never been good on his feet. Tango would be the last thing I could see him doing. I bet Leon bribed him with money… or sex. I bet Cloud would have done it for the latter."

"Or would he?" Sora challenged, sticking his tongue out childishly at the silver haired male.

"He wouldn't," Riku concluded as he resumed eating his breakfast.

There wasn't much conversation after that. Just chewing and random exchanges of glances. When Sora finished his meal, he looked back to Riku with a contemplative look. "You seem awfully happy this morning," Sora noted.

"Because I am," Riku replied simply, exchanging a look with his best friend's brother.

Sora turned a shade of red and looked back down to his empty plate. Silence reigned supreme over the pair as Sora began to play with his fork. "Any particular reason?" Sora finally willed himself to ask.

Riku smirked and said nothing. The silveret arose from his seat and marched across the room and headed towards the sink. Before he did such, the silver haired male snagged Sora' plate to bring with his. Sora glanced curiously over his shoulder at his host. "Riku?" the brunet wondered.

"Hm?" Riku hummed in inquiry as he shot a curious stare over his shoulder at Sora. Both males said nothing as Riku retreated from the sink and headed towards the living room section, beckoning for Sora to come and sit with him.

Sora sheepishly made his way off the stool and headed towards the couch. Shyly, the brunet sat down beside Riku. Blue eyes watched Riku curiously as the silveret turned on the television, flipping to a different setting to start a movie. Sora squirmed uncomfortably in his seat, wondering if watching a movie on a rainy day with Riku would be a good idea. Sora chose to say nothing and just sat there politely.

"It's The Dead Poets Society," Riku explained casually.

Sora inhaled deeply, a bit relieved to discover that it wasn't a cheesy romance movie. However, Sora's eyes snapped back up to meet Riku's. "You like that movie?" he asked. Riku didn't _seem_ like the intellectual type. No. The author of that notebook seemed more like the type to be watching a movie such as this.

"Mhm," Riku drawled, eyebrows hoisting themselves into the air. "Is that a problem?"

"No!" Sora answered quickly, shaking his head vigorously to the side. The brunet flushed another shade of an off pink and settled back in his seat, hugging his arms close to his chest. For the first thirty minutes, Sora eyes never did flicker away from the movie. Though, towards the middle, those eyes did stray over to the male beside him.

Riku seemed to catch this because when Sora went to turn his attention back to the television, Riku had reached up and slipped his pale hand onto Sora's cheek. A dark rose color spread across Sora's tanned cheeks as his eyes cautiously looked back over to Riku. Sea-green instantly met blue.

"R-riku?" Sora squeaked, feeling his face heat within Riku's hold.

"Hm?" Riku answered huskily, leaning forward just the slightest to breathe hotly into Sora's ear. A smirk appeared on Riku's face when he felt the teen tense beneath him. "Something wrong, Sora?"

"What are you-" Sora began nervously in inquiry. _I want him to kiss me again, I _really_ do… but would that be fair? Would it be fair to kiss Riku when my heart is stuck between him and this nameless author?… I'm so pathetic… But I need to know. I need to know. I don't want to put Riku into a tough situation. B-besides…_

Sora's thoughts were cut in a similar fashion of a knife through butter. The brunet's eyes fastened shut when he felt feather-light lips on his jaw, massaging the area with precision. Sora shivered into the touch, a soft gasp falling from his lips. "Riku," he whispered gently, his neck instinctively arching to access the tanned skin to the other.

Riku took that as an initiation to continue. Dexterously, Riku placed his lips against the side of Sora's neck, thrilled when he saw tremors shoot up and down Sora's body uncontrollably. "It's the pants," Riku offered with a grin, licking cautiously at Sora's neck.

"W-what?" Sora slurred, trying to suppress the moan that was caught in the base of his throat.

"The pants," Riku confirmed, teeth grazing over the side of Sora's neck. "They're too irresistible on you," he explained. The silveret did not bite or nip Sora's neck, just ran his teeth along it and gently kissed it. Somewhere in the male's mind, he knew that doing any more would frighten off Sora.

"O-oh," Sora replied stupidly, gasping when Riku's tongue lapped at a sensitive part on his neck. "R-riku?"

"Don't tell Cloud," Riku murmured, sucking briefly on the sensitive area, causing Sora to emit a barley audible moan. But it reached Riku's ears and made the teen shudder right down to the core.

"Tell…Oh. I…. won't," Sora stammered as his breathing became heavy.

Riku pulled away after a few more minutes, his aquamarine eyes darkened by a veil of lust. Silver bangs hid this lustrous look from Sora, thankfully. "We're missing the movie," Riku explained as his eyes met Sora's, refusing to kiss the brunet, but willing to tease the boy into submission. Riku was so _sly_.

"Heh. Y-yeah," Sora answered quickly as he laced his hands together in his lap, a bit ashamed of the small reaction he had got from Riku's ministrations. Something Riku had done had hit a nerve, making his whole body heat up. And that just led to embarrassing situations.

Sora couldn't let that happen again. Not until he knew. He couldn't lead Riku on until he _knew_.

**x**xxxx**x**xx**x**xxx**x**xx**x**

"You seem quite displaced tonight, Sora," Roxas noticed as he leaned his elbows against the tabletop of the booth. Bright blue eyes watched the younger brunet, as if determined to figure out what was on the other's mind. Determined to figure out what was troubling the young adult.

"I do?" Sora whispered back as his eyes pried off Riku's ghostly form which was resting at the piano.

"You do," Roxas confirmed as he offered a smirk at the brunet. "You just keep staring at him. Are you undressing him with your eyes, by any chance? Because I bet you most of the people in this place have already beat you to it."

"I'm not.." Sora blushed and fought off the urge to picture Riku shirtless, dripping wet from a shower. The teen shivered and the proceeded to stick his tongue out at his new friend. "He just plays really well."

"That he does," Roxas concurred as he tilted his head, watching his silver haired friend play. "He's been such a help around here. He's really a great guy," he murmured.

"So basically you guys own this place together, right?" Sora asked, eyes looking back over at Roxas once again with curiosity shining in them. Sora just wanted to get to know these people better.

"Along with Naminé, yeah," Roxas replied with a sudden smile.

At first Sora thought the smile was directed at him, but he noticed that Roxas' gave was resting upon a form behind him. Curiously, Sora glanced over his shoulder, at once noticing a fiery male striding over to the booth. The male reminded Sora of Riku, in some aspects. Tall, skinny… and daresay, sparkling green eyes. Though, Riku's had more a glint of blue than this man's. But still. The resemblance was a bit unnerving.

Sora blinked in surprise when he watched the red-head take a seat at their booth. Sora was about to question it but silenced himself when Axel draped an arm protectively around Roxas' shoulders. Without the slightest hesitation, Axel leaned closer and pecked Roxas' cheek. The male the murmured into his lover's ear, "Hey."

Roxas cleared his throat, trying unsuccessfully to hide a blush. "Axel. I told you not to touch me during work."

"You're making it sound like I'm _molesting_ you," Axel chuckled, rolling his cat-like eyes. Suddenly, those eyes glanced over and settled upon the brunet, noticing him for the first time. "Who's this?"

"This is Cloud's younger brother, Sora. He's staying with Riku for the month," Roxas explained casually, shrugging off his boyfriend's embrace. Apparently Roxas wanted to stay personal in the midst of his workplace. Sora, oddly, didn't blame the blond.

Axel smirked and then whistled quite suggestively. "Riku's shacking up with a _cutie_."

"Hey!" Sora automatically answered with, his eyes widening with shock. "He's my brother's best friend! That's why I'm staying with him while Cloud's in Bermuda!"

Axel grinned playfully. "You're so defensive," he hummed as he began to amusedly play with his lover's hand, receiving a glare from Roxas. "I've been wondering why Riku seems so much more _normal_ lately."

"Normal?" Sora echoed, tilting his head to the side.

"Ah…" Axel trailed off and cleared his throat, red locks of hair flaying out in every direction. "Maybe I shouldn't say? Hm…"

"Just say it!" Sora urged, leaning expectantly.

"Before you came, Riku's been in a sort of slump. He couldn't play or write for the longest time. His aura was bad and he just attracted bad luck and whatnot. Hell, he couldn't even find himself a date. I felt sorry for the guy. But this week's been completely different. And now I know why," Axel hummed cheerfully.

_Write? Riku writes too? _"Oh," Sora answered simply.

"You must be his inspiration," Axel teased with a suggestive arching of his brows. "Little Sora Kayaki and Sexy Riku Karada. What a match made in heaven."

"Are you implying that we're dating?" Sora nearly spewed, alarm flashing in his eyes.

"Nope," Axel spoke with a grin tugging at the corner of his lips. "Not yet, anyhow. I give Riku one more week, tops, before he pins you to his bed and takes you."

Sora shuddered, shivered, and gasped silently at the thought, his mind conjuring up not-so innocent images. "I don't think he'd…do that. He's just a friend."

"That's what they _all_ say. That's the cheesiest line _ever_. Even _I_ used that one before I got together with Roxas," Axel chuckled as he leaned over and nipped at his boyfriend's earlobe, dragging Roxas' attention away from Riku and back to the conversation.

"Don't do that," Roxas mumbled as his face heated countless degrees.

"Besides, I don't think my brother would want me dating his best friend. Isn't that against the rules… of life?" Sora wondered in a gentle voice, Riku's music wafting in and out of his ears, making his whole body melt.

"Sort of," Axel agreed with another chuckle. "But then again, Riku never _has_ played by the rules. I mean, he fell in love with his best friend for-" Axel began cockily but was shoved in the shoulder violently by Roxas.

"You're not supposed to say that out loud!" Roxas snapped.

"I know already," Sora murmured, shaking his head to dismiss the anger. "Riku told me a few days ago… It's okay."

"Oh," Roxas sighed and cleared his throat. "He told you? I'm surprised."

"Proof," Axel hummed mischievously under his breath. "There's the proof that he wants you. He told you about his past lack of relationship with your brother. That obviously means that he's attracted to you."

Sora smiled and then looked down at the table. _I know that… he may be attracted to me physically, because he's kissed me and stuff… but does that mean he likes me as a person and actually _likes_ me, likes me?_

"Oh, the heart is so complex!" Axel swooned dramatically before he was smacked, yet again, upside the head by his blond boyfriend.

**x**xxxx**x**xx**x**xxx**x**xx**x**

"Naminé, you look awfully sad," Sora whispered as his eyes settled onto Riku at the piano yet again. Sora had wandered away from the bickering couple after that had begun an argument that made no sense to Sora. Something to do with chores, prostitutes, and an evening in Las Vegas. Sora didn't dare to ask, and he really wasn't too keen on figuring it out, anyhow.

Naminé, who was leaning against the counter, her eyes glued to Roxas and Axel, spared a look over at her brunet friend. "I do?" she wondered with a sad smile.

It was odd to see the pretty blonde looking so upset and depressed. "You do," Sora agreed and frowned as he took a seat at the counter. Their blue eyes met and Naminé laughed nervously and looked away, eying her shoes.

"What's wrong?" Sora asked, concerned for the wellbeing of his new friend.

"It's… nothing," she replied, obviously not wanting to bother the brunet with her own petty problems. After all, she was a therapist… she shouldn't _have_ problems. But she did. Boy did she.

"Please?" Sora requested with a forced smile.

Naminé sighed and brushed her thin fingers through her hair. "You see Roxas and Axel over there?" she asked with sadness drenched in her voice.

"Mhm, I was just over there before I came over to talk to you. What about them?" Sora asked, briefly looking over his shoulder back at the pair who were discreetly holding hands under the table, still quarreling.

"It hurts to see them together," Naminé replied honestly.

At once Sora understood. "Oh… right. You like Roxas…" Sora trailed off as his own frown materialized onto his face. "I'm sorry, Naminé."

"Unrequited love is so horrible, isn't it?" she murmured as she leaned her cheek into her palm, holding back tears from clouding her eyes. She was strong. She wouldn't break down in a public place in front of her new friend. No, that would be weak and uncalled for.

Sora stared down at the floor. _Unrequited love, huh?…_

"Roxas usually ignores me… before he got with Axel, I tried dropping hints that I wanted to be with him, but he ignored them. Instead of telling me that he had his eyes on someone else, he ignored my obvious interest… it hurt," Naminé whispered in a pained voice.

_Is that… how Riku…feels when I?…_ Sora felt guilty all of a sudden for not having reacted or responded to Riku's earlier touches. _Was I supposed to kiss him? Was I supposed to do something back?… Was I supposed to openly show my … pleasure for what he was doing?…_

"Riku was the same way," Naminé admitted as she shook her head. "Except I found the courage to tell him how I felt. Of course, learning that he was now completely gay didn't help the matter. I thought that maybe there was a chance for me. But Riku… he's stayed close friends with me, and I can't ever be angry at him about that. Riku's more mature than Roxas," Naminé said gently.

"You don't have good luck, do you?" Sora questioned sadly.

"Nope," Naminé said with a gentle laugh. "At least when it comes to love. I've got Riku as a friend, and that's lucky. I have other friends too who are all healthy and happy. And I'm happy for the most part, so I'm not entirely unlucky."

Sora smiled a bit at Naminé's optimistic view. "You're a strong person… a lot stronger than me," he whispered to his friend.

"Thank you, Sora," Naminé said with a smile leaking onto her lips. "You are as well. Your brother should be proud of you."

"I think he is," Sora answered with a questioning look.

"I bet he is," Naminé countered and giggled softly. "Riku's looking at you."

"Huh?" Sora looked from Naminé over his shoulder to the stage where Riku had just recently stopped performing. Sea-green eyes were glued to Sora's form, following the brunet's gaze. Sora felt something in his lit on fire from the eye contact. Something mischievous and true flickered in Riku's eyes as he stood there, a smirk curling onto his lips. And that look was _so_ handsome that Sora had to try his hardest not to let his mind wander.

"Love's a funny thing," Naminé said as she looked at Riku.

"Mhm…" Sora agreed as Riku exited the stage, the male's eyes never once leaving Sora's form. Sora shivered as he kept the eye contact from across the room, feeling his body continue to heat. _I have to like Riku. There's no other way around it. I like Riku as more than my brother's best friend, or even my friend. I like Riku in a romantic way… and it hurts to know that I can't do anything about it until I meet this author…_

Sora felt his heart sting at the very idea of putting the romantic author before Riku. _There's a connection between me and Riku… but there's an unsaid one between this author and I. We both connect on levels that are hard to imagine… And I'm sort of terrified to meet him. I'm terrified of feeling something _real_ about anyone other than Riku. Beautiful, charming Riku…_

Sora had no idea that a troubled tear had leaked down the side of his face until a ivory-skinned hand whipped it away. And Sora had no idea that things were far more complex than his mind could even begin to imagine. Riku had his diary, and Sora had Riku's notebook, it was as simple as that. But what wasn't going to be simple would be the resolve…figuring out the identity of the author.

Would it makes things easier or more difficult?

All Sora knew was that come tomorrow, he would meet the author, and finally know where his interests lay. Time changes everything, but a heart ceases to change.


	10. eighth day

_This was a fun chapter to write. This is amazing.  
_

* * *

Sora had somehow convinced his host to take a trip to the mall in an hour. Sora's plan was finally being put into action. He'd meet the author, fall in love (cliché and all) and live happily ever after. It would be like a fairytale… minus the dress and kids. Sora smacked his head with his notebook, growling at it despite the fact that it was abiotic. The brunet grumbled something under his breath as he laid sprawled out on his bed. Sora had spoken to his brother a few moments before. Cloud had told Sora something along the lines of never mixing beer and wine. Sora nervously took the advice, not really sure if he would ever use it or not. Sora _detested_ the taste of alcohol.

"Riku is going to freak out if he figures out that I went to see someone I've never met face to face," Sora mumbled in irritation. After his last run-in with danger, Sora was quite surprised to see himself so willingly meet someone. Sora wouldn't stay long with said author… he'd just meet him.

Sora grinned anxiously. "What if he's taken?!" Sora suddenly wondered in frustration. "What if he has a boyfriend or a husband!?" Sora squeaked and buried his face into his hands. "What if I fall in love with him and he's _taken_?!" Sora fainted dramatically onto his bed, hand clasped over his chest.

The brunet's nose twitched a bit. If the author was taken, there was always Riku. Furtive Riku who was still an enigma to Sora. Flirtatious Riku with the dashing looks and gorgeous smile. Riku… his brother's best friend. Why Sora hadn't overcome that petty fact, he did not know. "But Riku kissed me," Sora reasoned as he tapped his head thoughtfully. "Riku kissed me… that means something, er… right?"

Sora then smacked the notebook against his head again. "How could I be so _stupid_?! Riku gave me a goodnight kiss. It meant nothing! He… he just wanted me to relax after a tough day. That's all!" Sora was aware of the fact that he was just making up excuses as to why Riku kissed him. Sadly, none involved the truth. The truth being that Riku was attracted to the little brunet.

"I talk to myself too much… if I had my diary I'd be writing!" Sora groaned dramatically, fastening his eyes shut tightly. "If I had put my name in it and whatnot maybe someone would have given it back to me!" Sora said, angry at his own vacuous nature.

Sora slapped his hand over his mouth, brown locks falling in all directions. The teenager shifted into a sitting position on top of his bed, upon the sheets. Without another word, Sora opened the notebook. _Maybe some reading will clear my mind. I just need to relax. That's all. Just need to-_ Sora began calmly and then paled.

_The black haired man thrust deeper inside his lover, bringing them both closer to release. Beads of sweat danced down their foreheads as the taller thrust inside his boyfriend's tight passage, desperately trying to increase the level of pleasure for the pair. It wasn't long before the tip of the black haired male's length hit the blond's prostate, making the shorter yell out in ecstasy._

"Um!" Sora shut the notebook and inched away from it. "Um…" Sora repeated, face a scorching red. "Is this author… like… a sex addict?" Sora wondered weakly.

The brunet covered his face with his hands and shook his head wildly. Though, an author of this level of writing… this level of intimacy, must be amazingly affectionate. Among other things, Sora figured with a deep blush. "I wonder if he'll like me," Sora said with a stifled giggle. After all, the author was only a year older than him, or so he read.

Sora was deep in thought. What would Tidus say when he came back from Florida if Sora had himself a boyfriend? Sora scorched a darker red at the very idea of someone kissing him, running their hands over him… doing the things only mentioned lightly in that notebook. The very core of the brunet shuddered as he pushed the thought away. He needed to control his hormones. True, he was your typical teenager boy, but he needed some control. Especially when Riku was in the other room.

Speaking of the silver haired male… "Sora, you ready to go?"

Sora craned his head from its position on the bed over to Riku. Sapphire hues met aquamarine ones that were located by the door. "Sure thing," Sora said and then sat up, snagging his coat from the other side of the room. The brunet inconspicuously slid the notebook into his jacket once more and bounced into the living room to head off with Riku.

"You look cheerful today," Riku noted as he grabbed his keys from the kitchen counter. Riku, oddly, to seemed to be even _more_ gorgeous than ever. Sora blinked, wondering if it was just the lighting. Regardless, Sora didn't comment on that particular detail.

"Just feels like it's going to be a good day," Sora replied brightly.

"If you say so," Riku hummed flirtatiously as he motioned for the brunet to head towards the door. Sora nodded and did as he told. "While you're at the mall, I'm going to be visiting Naminé. She needs help remodeling her guest room. Her niece is coming up to stay with her," Riku explained as he led Sora out of the apartment.

"That's nice," Sora offered. _Riku's so nice… I mean, at first I thought he was a complete jerk… but that was because he judged me based off Cloud… and I was a bit rude… but still. He's so beautiful. _Sora smiled at the silveret seconds after.

"So Sora, tell me, are you going to scope out hot guys today?" Riku asked with a smirk as they began their trek, the bright sunshine beating on them.

Sora turned a dark red. _No… but I will be meeting with an author that I'm crushing on. Does that count for anything, Riku? _"Oh no, not really. Well er… maybe. I'm just mostly gonna look around and stuff."

"Need any money?" Riku asked, his hands digging into his pockets to retrieve some money. However, Sora's shake of his head halted Riku's movements. "All right. As long as you have enough," Riku finished in a shrug.

"You and Naminé would be good together," Sora randomly commented.

Riku blinked and looked at Sora with skepticism in his eyes. "Are you serious? You do know what the word gay means, right?"

"I do!" Sora argued with a pout. "I just thought that you two get along so well… that gender shouldn't matter?"

"I'm not attracted to her that way, Sora," Riku informed the brunet and laughed distantly. "You know if you're attracted to someone. You get this swelling in your heart that's distinctive." The silver haired male flashed Sora a bright smile as they continued walking. That smile was so beautiful on him.

"You know, Riku, when Cloud first told me that I was going to be living with you, I thought you were going to be a pervy old man that stashes porno all around the place," Sora giggled as they walked on, hoping to lighten the mood between the pair and get it off 'crushes' before Sora slipped and said too much.

Riku bit his bottom lip. _Do notebooks with sex scenes count as porno? …_ "Of course not," Riku drawled, eying the brunet. _If I still had that damn thing… I'd have a lot to write about. Just looking at him gives me inspiration. Hah. That's pretty weird. My best friend's brother gives me inspiration to write sex. Okay then._

"You're really cool! Other than that whole outfit thing," Sora mumbled. "You have to admit, that was pretty mean!"

"Well, it taught you a lesson, didn't it?" Riku asked, sticking his tongue out at Sora. Sora copied the action before laughing happily. The brunet often wondered why he so eager to change things and fall in love. Things were going so well the way they were now.

"That cross-dressing isn't something I enjoy," Sora answered with a cheesy grin. "I hate skirts and dresses. They're so weird. I mean, they're uncomfortable and yeah. But why do gay guys like cross-dressers anyhow…? I mean, they like guys… so why like female clothing?"

Riku shrugged. "Don't know. Don't really care."

"Just wondering," Sora said quietly as he stared up at the sky. _I wonder if the author likes that sort of stuff. Then again… that whole role-play excerpt thing… Er…. This guy must have a wild imagination. I doubt he'll even find me interesting…_

Riku chuckled and kept on walking.

When they arrived at the mall, it was two. Riku lead Sora inside and stopped in the middle of the pathway, turning around to head off. The silver haired male hesitated and turned back to Sora. "Meet me back at the house at around five-thirty to have dinner and whatnot. If you get in any trouble or if you need me, call me," Riku said as he tossed Sora his cell phone. "I'll see you in a bit."

Sora smiled and waved his friend off. When Riku had disappeared from sight, Sora sat down on a bench, his stomach hurting. Why did lying to Riku feel so _bad_? Sora rubbed his head and stared down at Riku's cell phone wordlessly. At least now he had a means of communication in case something bad happened.

And now, for the plunge of faith.

**x**xxx**x**xxx**x**xxxx**x**xx**x**

Sora felt his whole body shiver when he stood before the author's home. Sora inhaled deeply, glancing down at his watch. It was three. Good, he had plenty of time left. Sora stared at the door to the small house, inhaling and exhaling at a slow rate. All of his anxiety suddenly began to bubble up. This was it. This was finally it. Sora was finally going to meet the author. The brunet coughed from excitement and then willed himself to knock on the door. Destiny was finally going to be fulfilled. Sora was finally going to-

A woman with light brown hair answered the door, cutting Sora's thoughts off. The brunet stared at the women who appeared to be in her forties. Early forties. Her kind eyes stared at him, as if wondering what he was doing here. A red ribbon resided in her hair, making her appear to be much more youthful than she truly was. A smile formed on her lips as she pressed her hand against the door. "May I help you?"

"Er… um… is your son… home?" Sora guessed, hoping that this was the author's mother and not a girlfriend or an older sister. He didn't want to offend the women. No, not one bit. Sora bit his bottom lip and eagerly awaited a response.

The woman shook her head. No. That was a no. Sora had come all this way for a _no_. "He moved out a few years ago," she explained and then smiled softly at the brunet. "What business do you have with him? I'm sure I can relay the message to him."

"I uh…found this journal you see, of his… and I wanted to return it. It's not with me though," Sora explained, his cheeks a bright red.

The woman surveyed Sora's nervous posture for a moment. A dawning of realization crossed her features as she stepped away from the door, motioning for Sora to come in. Timidly, Sora did such and entered the home, a bit shocked that a stranger would let another stranger into their home.

"You must not know anything about him, then?" the woman asked as she lead Sora into the living room. Sora eagerly followed, eyes scanning the room for any sign of photographs or pictures. Anything to identify this author. Nope. Nothing.

"I just found the diary and it had the address…" Sora explained and then sighed, hanging his head low as he took a seat. "I guess he's somewhere else now. I'd ask you for the new address, but I don't want to sound like a stalker or something."

The woman laughed and shook her head. "What's your name, dear?"

"Sora," Sora answered with a light blush. "I was hoping to meet your son… he writes really well and seems like a great guy and- … Er! I didn't mean to read his journal now that I think about it! Those are really supposed to be private and I-" Sora began in an embarrassed ramble.

"Shh, it's okay," she said and shook her head. "I understand."

"You do?" Sora asked weakly, looking hopefully to the woman.

"Mhm," she confirmed as she laced her hands together in her lap. "His writing has always had a certain flair. It captures the hearts of those who take time to read it." Sora highly doubted that the author's mother had ever read the content of _this_ journal.

"He does," Sora agreed, just wishing that she would say his _name_. A name would be _lovely_.

"Your eyes say a lot, Sora," the woman said as she tilted her head to the side. "I don't want to overstep my boundaries, but from the way you're speaking and the way your eyes are shimmering, you've grown attached to him?"

"Um… well… you see," Sora stammered as he rested his hands into his head. "I feel so stupid admitting it. Especially to his mother. I don't even know his name… what he looks like… or anything. All I know is that the way he writes and the way he thinks is beautiful and I just… He's been through so much and I just want to get to know him…"

"Here's his cell number," the author's mother finally said, grabbing a piece of paper and scrawling a number across it. "Just tell him that you found his journal and tell him your name? I'm sure he'd be pleased to meet someone who recovered his journal."

"O-okay," Sora stammered, taking the number. His heart pounded as he arose from his feet. "Can I use your phone to call? I have my friend's cell with me and I don't want to use his minutes up."

"Sure, it's in the kitchen," she said and smiled. Sora nodded and scrambled into the other room, completely out of earshot.

Sora shivered as he picked up the black cordless phone from its base. Shakily, Sora dialed in the digits, his heart beating a thousand miles an hour. _I'm going to hear his voice. I'm going to speak to him. What do I say?! Do I say.__. Hi my name is Sora. I think I like you. No! That's bad. Bad bad bad. Do I ask him his name?! _Sora's grip tightened on the phone as it began to ring.

One ring…. Two ring… On the second ring a vibration appeared from inside Sora's coat pocket. Sora cursed and hung up the cordless phone as he went to retrieve Riku's phone. Quite annoyed, Sora flipped opened the phone. "Hello?"

Apparently the person had hung up. "Fine… be that way, fate," Sora growled as he set the phone down on the counter vengefully before picking the cordless phone back up. Sora cautiously pressed redial, his heart caught in his throat. _I wonder what his voice sounds like. I bet he's amazing. I bet he's gorgeous._

On the second ring, yet again, the cell phone vibrated. Sora was about to hang up the cordless but cautiously held it as he brought the cell phone up to eyelevel. Written across the small blue screen of the razor was the caller ID. Mom… Mom… MOM?!

"WHAT?!"

Sora dropped the cordless phone and shirked. The brunet began to shake as he scrambled onto the ground, collecting the phone and slamming it back down onto the base. Sora held the cell phone in his hands, trembling as he sat on the floor on his knees. A million things suddenly hit Sora's head at once, making the brunet feel light-headed.

"Sora, are you okay?" asked the woman as she made her way into the kitchen, her eyes widening when she saw Sora on the ground. "Do I need to call someone…? Are you okay?"

Sora felt tears falling from his eyes due to confusion. "Is… your son… by any chance… named… Riku?" Sora squeaked, his eyes snapping up to meet the woman's.

The woman blinked and then nervously nodded. "Did you call him and get his voicemail?" she wondered as she placed a hand on his shoulder. "Riku usually has his phone on and I-"

"I… have somewhere to be," Sora enlightened Riku's mother, his heart beating way too fast. "I'm sorry!" he said quickly as he got to his feet, making his way to the door quickly, feeling like he was about to get sick. "T-thank you," he called over his shoulder as he nearly ran out of the house.

What the hell just happened?

**x**xxx**x**xxx**xx**xxx**x**

Sora, who was given an extra house key by his lovely host, entered the apartment and instantly fell to the ground in shambles. The brunet shook violently as he drew his legs up against his chest, similar to a fetal position. Blue eyes snapped shut as he sat there against the wall, breathing deeply. Now was a time to reflect. Now was a time to try and sort out all these confusing details before they ate the brunet alive.

"Riku…. Riku's the…" Sora stammered as he looked down at the cell phone in his shaking hand. "Riku's the author," Sora finally managed as he removed the notebook from his jacket, opening it as tears of confusion fell from his eyes.

_I'd never confess to _anyone_ that I was lonely. I'd never confess that I wanted someone in my life to love me and show me the true meaning of love. _

The words leaked back into Sora's mind as he reread them. Sora hugged the journal and then whimpered. Everything made sense… somewhat. Riku was the author. The author was Riku. He had been attracted to the same person this entire time. Wasn't that a good thing? Wasn't a good thing that Riku was the author?

Sora suddenly felt a dark red dance upon his cheeks. All those scenes he had read replayed in his head over and over again, but this time with _him_ and _Riku_ in those roles. The brunet shivered as he sat there, fingers tracing shapes onto the cover of the notebook.

Sora looked at the journal, this time with a smile etched onto his face. It was like a portal right into Riku's heart. Despite the somewhat smut-drenched pages, there was honesty and true affection written on those white pages. Riku wasn't just a flirt, he had depth. And for Sora to like someone based off what they _wrote_ just added to what he was feeling currently about Riku.

Still, the sticking point was that Riku was off limits. Riku was Cloud's _best friend._

_  
_"What do I do?" Sora asked himself as he arose to his shaky feet and made his way across the room, shoving the journal back into his jacket. The brunet tossed said piece of clothing onto the back of the couch. Sora then leaned against the couch, his head hurting.

Sora sat on the couch and instantly passed out for an hour. Hopefully sleep would clear his mind.

**x**xxx**x**xxx**xx**xxx**x**

"You told him you were helping me with wallpaper and painting?" Naminé asked in disbelief. "You gave up a day to be with him by saying _that_?"

Riku cringed and then shrugged dismally. "The kid can do what he wants. I figured that he would want some time off me. So I dropped him off at the mall with my cell phone. If he needed me he would have called. No big deal." Riku crossed his arms and stared out the window, watching the sun beat violently onto the city.

"You shouldn't be here, Riku. You should be sorting out your feelings at home. With Sora," Naminé insisted as she walked over to her friend. Thin arms reached out and began to push Riku towards the door of the apartment, wanting her friend to leave at once. It was obvious that Naminé wanted the two males together just as badly as they did.

"Every time I've gone to kiss him he's either moved away or acted oblivious!" Riku protested angrily. "Besides! If Cloud-!"

"Enough about Cloud! That's all I've heard from you two. If Cloud is really hindering your relationship, talk to him. But honestly, I don't think he's the problem. You two are just too shy to admit you like one another. So stop hiding behind the Cloud excuse and just go make out with him!" Naminé stated sternly.

"Geez, Naminé, I've never seen you so worked up," Riku noted, eying his blond friend curiously.

"Riku… you didn't see the way that he looked at you. And you playing Mr. Mysterious isn't going to solve anything."

"Fine," Riku sighed and grabbed his coat, running his hand through his hair. "But if he kicks me for coming onto him, I'll tell him it was all _your_ idea," Riku made known as he reached for the door-knob, staring seriously back at Naminé.

"How manly of you," she said, relaxing a bit. She then laughed and waved Riku off. "Now stop wasting time!"

**x**xxx**x**xxx**xx**xxx**x**

Riku arrived home at five, figuring that Sora was still out shopping. It wasn't until he noticed the brunet slumbering on the couch did he realize that Sora was home. A smile crossed Riku's lips as he made his way over. Carefully, he crouched down beside the slumbering teen. Timorously, Riku extended his hand and ran it along Sora's cheek, completely mesmerized by the brunet and everything about him.

"Naminé makes it seem so easy," Riku whispered. "You're going to think that you're a replacement for Cloud. I know you're going to. You're not going to believe me."

Sora shifted in his sleep, his body impulsively arching into Riku's warmth hand in a similar fashion to that of a cat. Riku offered a bright smile at the sleeping brunet before his fingers began to trace the shape of Sora's lips, wishing that the one kiss they had shared had more meaning than just a simple good night.

"I feel so bad," Riku murmured, his index finger making an arch along Sora's lips. "Of all the people to like you, it had to be me. I don't even know how any of this started…" Riku grumbled something and rested his head against Sora's chest, listening to the teen's beating heart.

"Ever since you came here you've listened to me. It may not be love, but it's still something I haven't felt for awhile. I don't want it to go away, and it isn't. I need to pursue it," Riku mumbled and closed his eyes briefly.

"R-riku?" Sora asked in a yawn, awaking from the added pressure on his stomach.

Riku glanced curiously up at the waking brunet. Sora's startled blue eyes met sly aquamarine ones. All that was going through Sora's mind was the idea that Riku had written the journal and whatnot, and all that was going through Riku's was that Sora was a beautiful person, inside and out.

"I'm sorry, I was tired," Sora whispered, cheeks turning a light red.

"It's no problem," Riku answered and kept his chin against Sora's chest, staring up at the brunet. "How was your shopping experience?"

"Good," Sora lied. "I didn't buy anything, though."

"Bummer," Riku replied, refusing to break eye contact. He could sit there and stare into Sora's eyes forever, if he was allowed to do such. Honesty and sincerity was drenched in them. A rare combination nowadays. The sight of those blue hues was mesmerizing. That was for certain.

"Riku," Sora sighed the other's name peacefully as he looking down at the other teen. "The other night…"

"What about it?" Riku wondered, sitting up so that he was resting on his knees beside the couch. Sea-green eyes stared curiously at the brunet. What was Sora going to say?

"Why… what…?" Sora tried to ask and ended up stupidly stammering. The brunet smiled weakly and then blushed, trying not to look Riku directly in the eye. Sora's eyes widened when he noticed Riku was laughing. "Why are you laughing?!"

"Because you're so dense," Riku teased and leaned closer, making Sora tense beneath him. "Let's think about this logically."

"Okay?" Sora answered nervously, eyes widening in confusion.

"Why would someone kiss someone else?" Riku asked smoothly, never once taking his eyes off Sora. The male cocked his head to the side, eagerly awaiting Sora's response.

"To be nice?" Sora guessed vaguely.

"Uh… no," Riku said with a chuckle. "At least, I don't. I don't go around kissing Naminé and Roxas just to be nice. But I kissed you. And what does that mean?"

Sora burned a dark red. _He's the author… He's the author… He's the same person… And why am I sitting here being teased by him when I could just easily_… "I don't mind games," Sora pouted and draped his arms around Riku's neck, tugging the silveret up and onto the couch.

The couch was only so big, so in the end Riku had Sora pinned beneath him. The male's eyes stared down at Sora's, blue meeting a beautiful sea-green. Sora gasped and then tensed, eying the author with a nervous laugh. Sora couldn't help but let his mind wander back to those excerpts and everything that he had read.

"I kissed you because I find you attractive," Riku informed Sora bluntly as he leaned closer, allowing only a few centimeters to separate their lips. "And that obviously means that I like you. And that means that I'm proposing we…" Riku leaned impossibly closer, still refusing to make contact where they both desperately wanted. "… date in secrecy," he concluded in a hot breath, mingling with Sora's.

Sora was given time to answer, surprisingly. Of course, Sora didn't take this time. Instead of answering with a yes or no, Sora arched his neck up the slightest to claim Riku's lips against his own, a shudder slipping down his spine. Sora's eyes snapped shut as his fingers threaded through Riku's soft silver hair. It was then wet against wet, lips rolling against one another sweetly. Riku craned his neck down to add more pressure into the kiss, his hands keeping Sora securely pinned beneath him as heat rushed through his body.

"Sora," Riku murmured into the kiss and nipped gently at Sora's lip. Riku grinned when he heard the brunet gasp. "Is that a yes?" Riku muttered as he licked at Sora's bottom lip, savoring the taste.

"W-what… do you… t-think?" Sora stammered as he pressed his lips eagerly back against Riku's.

"Hm…" Riku smirked against their lips and pressed fleeting kisses to Sora's lips, loving the feeling and the taste. The silveret wasn't expecting Sora to respond so intensely. The brunet arched his body upwards wantonly, lips continuously seeking out the other's, dying for affection. In the process, the brunet had brushed their lower bodies against one another by accident.

Riku moaned boisterously into the kiss and bit down onto Sora's lip, a wave of arousal flowing through his body. Sora broke the kiss, gasping for air, as his body pulsed. "R-riku," Sora slurred, staring up at the other with clouded blue eyes.

"This is going to be a wonderful three weeks," Riku purred as he pressed a final kiss to Sora's lips before shifting so that he could somehow lay beside Sora on the large couch. Sora blushed and glanced over at Riku.

"So… we…"

"Yep. Dating. No telling Cloud. No telling anyone. Just us."

"I'm game," Sora answered with a smile as he stared at his boyfriend with a nervous laugh. Without really thinking, Sora nuzzled closer to Riku, resting his head against Riku's chest, sleep overtaking him once again. "I'm… gonna nap, okay?" he requested sleepily.

"Goodnight," Riku answered and wrapped his arms around his new boyfriend, his mind spinning in a million different directions. They had just crossed the first hurdle of many.

And just what did any of that mean…?


	11. ninth day

This chapter is a somewhat filler. But it is important. My main goal was to convey Sora's thoughts and his mindset so that the reader could easily see how Sora's decisions impact his life and whatnot. This _is_ setting up for the chapters to come. The Zexion matter _will_ be brought back into the story as will Leon and Cloud. Mind you, there _will_ be a timeskip coming up so that I won't have to write twenty chapters before they return. I'm sure it'd bore you. Any how, please take this chapter for what it is worth, and excuse the lateness. I've been busy with oneshots and whatnot lately. And the ending for bereave should be up by Friday. By the way, thanks to my lovely beta _Valentined_ for always plotting with me. She's amazing.

Now here's the chapter!

* * *

**By Chance**

It was awfully strange to find himself waking up in Riku's arms. It was even odder that upon his discovery, Sora did nothing about it. In fact, to be honest, Sora nuzzled into Riku's warm embrace, his brown-haired head resting against his boyfriend's chest. Maybe it wasn't strange. Perhaps it was simply serendipity.

It was not until ten AM that the pair awoke- Sora seconds after his boyfriend. Blue eyes fluttered open, thin eyelashes lightly grazing his tanned cheeks. "Hm?" Sora murmured. Torpor lingered within Sora as he rested his head back down against Riku's chest. His fingers, all the while, tightly clenching Riku's shirt, as if he was afraid to let go. Why was that waking up in someone else's arms always felt so damngood?

Riku smiled softly. The male's hand slithered up Sora's back and rested at the nape of the brunet's neck. Once there, nimble fingers began to play with the extremely soft hairs at the base of Sora's neck. The shortest and the softest of Sora's brown hair. "You still sleeping?" wondered Riku, his fingers now tracing small shapes onto the back of Sora's neck.

"You're warm," Sora mumbled against the taller's chest, answering Riku's question in the end. Indeed, Riku was incredibly warm. The silveret seemed to _radiate_ heat. It was awfully nice. A lot better than stuffy sheets. "Can I sleep for a bit more?" asked Sora.

Riku allowed his arms to slip from Sora's hair. Those hands then wrapped tightly around Sora's torso, near his waist. Riku proceeded to yank Sora closer to him, resting his chin onto the top of Sora's soft head. "Sure," he said so compassionately that it stunned Sora.

Riku's mind began to rewind at a tedious rate. _How the hell am I going to give his diary back now? Just randomly go, 'hey Sora, I've had this the entire time. Now that we're dating, I felt the urge to give it back'. That'll go over wonderfully… How am I going to do this…. _Riku exhaled sharply.

"Your heart's racing," Sora whispered.

Riku's brows creased. "Is it really?" he asked, eyes skeptically flickering down to look at the lethargic teen in his hold.

"Mhm," Sora answered quietly, fingers playing with the hem of Riku's shirt. Sora said nothing more as he snuggled close to the other, obviously enjoying this sudden burst of affection from Riku.

_Everyone's clingy to their first real boyfriend. I don't blame him. I mean, yeah, this is nice… But I'm not… used to someone wanting to just sleep with me like this. Lay here wordlessly… It's hard to get used to. I'm not sure if this is a bad or good thing… _Riku sighed mentally and just held Sora tightly, his mind running at speeds that could put the Energizer Bunny to shame.

"What are we doing today, Riku?" Sora asked.

Riku was about to answer when the distant knocking of his front door caught his attention. Riku groaned and watched as Sora pulled his head away from his chest. Was it okay that he missed that feeling? Riku pushed that question to the back of his mind, whispered something to his brunet boyfriend, and then maneuvered his body off the couch. Wordlessly, Riku made his way to the front door, his palm massaging his temple all the while.

"Who the hell would-" Riku began in a grumble as he reached out to open the door. Without thinking, he pulled it open and settled his gaze upon the figure before him. A shiver slipped down his spine as his aquamarine eyes made contact with another pair. "Hey…" he said offhandedly, his hand resting on the door.

"Long time no see," said the male as he nodded approvingly to the shorter of the pair. "How have you been?"

The casual conversation caught Riku off guard, but he did nothing to halt it. "Good, I suppose. I'm planning to go to Mom's next week to help her redecorate her house," he explained and stared at the other silver haired male for a prolonged moment. "I wasn't aware that you knew where I lived."

"Mom told me," the other male answered and pushed on a forced smile. "I haven't seen you for a few years, so I figured it'd be good for the two of us if I dropped by."

"Unexpectedly," Riku murmured under his lips and let go of the door, allowing his older brother to enter the room. Without a word, the other male entered and glanced approvingly around the area.

"Looks like you're doing well," the man noted as his buff arms crossed against his chest. "Still into stocks?"

"Yep," Riku replied and then paled when he realized that Sora had gotten up and made his way over. Riku's color further drained from his body when he watched in horror as he boyfriend sheepishly made his way over to his brother and extended his hand happily. _God damnit, Sora._

"Hi! I'm Sora," Sora offered with a light smile.

The older brother stared at the loquacious brunet for a prolonged moment. "Nice to meet you," he answered emptily. "I'm Sephiroth, Riku's older brother."

_Older brother…older brother… Older-… Oh… from Riku's journal… He's the one who is pissed at Riku for…Oh…_ Sora looked to Riku who seemed to have a sickened look on his face. "I'm Cloud's younger brother," Sora explained rather quickly. "Cloud went off for vacation and I'm staying here until he returns. I would have stayed at my girlfriend's house but Cloud apparently doesn't trust me." Sora nervously laughed and offered a weak smile.

Riku arched an eyebrow and stared at his boyfriend with subtle curiosity. Sephiroth nodded. "I see. Well, I'm sure my brother is pleased to have you here." Sephiroth looked to the stunned Riku. Riku blinked and then rapidly nodded, too shocked to even process what his brother was saying.

"I came by here for other reasons, too," Sephiroth said and leaned against the back of Riku's couch. His silver hair pooled down his back, out measuring Riku's in length. "Have you heard about the Organization?"

Sora titled his head to the side curiously. Riku shook his head. "No. I'm assuming they're a gang, right?"

"Yeah," Sephiroth replied and shrugged. "I've been trying to track down their members for the past few years. There was originally thirteen, but when I got the case there was only eleven members remaining. I've managed to track down seven."

"That's good," Sora interjected with a swift nod. The brunet blushed faintly when he felt the older Karada's intense gaze upon him. Sora shyly looked down, not wanting to embarrass himself or Riku any more. If this was anyone _other_ than Riku's brother, he probably wouldn't be so jittery.

"I was going to ask if you had any leads, but it seems that you haven't even heard of them," Sephiroth said and then proceeded to sigh. "If you get any leads, call me."

"Can do," Riku answered and beckoned his brother over to the kitchen. The two silver haired males entered the kitchen, leaving Sora alone in the living room. The brunet blinked a few times, staring curiously into the room. He didn't dare to move. He didn't want to intrude. The _last_ thing he needed was Riku mad at him.

Sora figured that they were having an in-depth conversation, so he simply just sat back down on the couch. The petit brunet stared down at his laced hands that remained in his lap. _Isn't Sephiroth pissed at Riku for being gay?… I would have thought that they would have been bickering… Maybe… Maybe Sephiroth isn't as bad as my uncle. _

Sora barely heard the closing of the apartment door and the whispers and the goodbyes. All Sora heard was a husky whisper enter his ear.

"Hey," Riku said, his fingers pushing strands of brown hair behind Sora's ear. Sora partly melted into his boyfriend's touch. Instead of turning into a cliché puddle of mush, Sora tensed and glanced off to the right at Riku who was dangerously close. "Sorry about that," Riku went on to say, his fingers brushing along Sora's jaw.

"It's all right," Sora answered in a quiet voice. Blue eyes slid shut as he sat there. They were dating … yes, but what was okay to do? They were allowed to kiss, right? Were they allowed to hold hands on the first day? Would that be taking it too fast? Sora's head hurt as he realized that perhaps having Riku as his first boyfriend wouldn't be such a good idea. What if Sora went too far and Riku got mad?…

"Have you heard anything about the Organization?" Riku asked, his lips pressing softly onto Sora's broad jaw. The brunet shuddered and then tensed once more.

"No," he answered honestly, blue eyes still shut. "They're a gang… right?"

"Mhm," Riku replied and hooked an arm around Sora's waist as he sat down beside him. "I never heard about them before… so I doubt they're that big of a threat to our side of town. Though, apparently, they're murderers. Pretty fucked up, isn't it?"

"It is," Sora answered in a sad tone. "People are so cruel nowadays."

"That they are," Riku agreed and kissed Sora's jaw again. Instead of pulling his lips back, he lead his wet lips up the expanse of his boyfriend's jaw, and then tediously down the brunet's neck.

"R-riku?" Sora slurred, his hands impulsively gripping the cushion beneath him as his breath hitched in his throat.

"Yeah?" Riku questioned in a murmur against Sora's neck.

"What're you…" Sora stammered as he began to breathe deeply, his nerves taking control of his mind. "…doing?" Sora finished in a gasp when Riku's lips unexpectedly sucked on the tanned skin. Was he _supposed_ to do that?

"Are you seriously asking me that?" Riku asked in an annoyed voice.

"I… This feels weird," Sora admitted and shivered when he felt Riku's tongue licking a trail down his neck. _Definitely weird… I'm not sure if it feels good or bad._ Sora's eyes snapped open when he felt teeth gingerly brush against a sensitive portion of his neck. _M-maybe he's going a bit too fast. I…_ Sora didn't know what overcame, but his arms reached out and gently pushed Riku away from him.

Riku frowned and almost glared. Sora winced. "What?" Riku asked, aquamarine eyes staring at the flustered brunet beside him.

"That… I… what were you doing?" Sora slurred as he rose two fingers to run them along his neck; it was wet and incredibly warm to the touch.

"Kissing your neck?" Riku drawled and yanked Sora closer, his arms wrapping tightly around the teenager. "Is that a problem?"

Sora didn't have the heart to protest. "No," he lied and just allowed his boyfriend to continue. _As long as he doesn't do anything too weird… I mean… I'm his boyfriend, right? This is what boyfriends do?… right? _

And after awhile, Sora started to enjoy it. And yet, at the same time, he felt oddly dirty.

**x**xx**x**xxx**xx**xxx**x**xxx**x**

Sora sat alone in the computer room, staring at the screen. Riku was taking a nap, and had offered for Sora to sleep beside him, but the brunet wasn't tired. So, instead, he went online. A smile filtered onto Sora's lips as he logged onto Myspace and proceeded to look for Riku's account once again.

The brunet sat cross legged in the chair, spinning back and forth. The teenager reached forward and typed in Riku's full name. And now that he looked at his boyfriend's name, it was quite pretty. A small blush appeared on Sora's face as he refound the silver haired male's account. And of course, that devious shirtless display.

Sora squeaked, a dark blush appearing. Quickly, Sora clicked 'Add to Friends' and sat back in his seat. Though, before he logged out, the New Messages in that dark red font caught his attention.

Sora tilted his head to the side and opened it. _Tidus!_ Sora thought quickly and he began to feverishly read the letter.

_Hey Sora! How are you doing? Sorry I haven't written… I've been busy down here. We went to Disney and the Orlando. It's insane! And guess what? I found summer love! Hah. I'm so pimpin', you know? ;D Well, I'll talk to you when I get back. Have a good summer._

Sora laughed at this and leaned his chin into his palms. "Only Tidus."

Then again, Sora himself had found 'summer love'. If that's what he could call Riku. The blush deepened and Sora distractedly went back to the homepage, humming under his breath. As Sora hummed, he changed his Status to 'In a relationship', only making the blush darken. Was it possible to get any darker?

Sora sighed happily and returned to the homepage. A grin suddenly appeared on his face when he noticed the number of his friends had gone up. But the grin only grew when he noticed a new message. Sora excitedly opened it.

_Hey beautiful. _

Sora laughed softly and typed back, _I thought you were asleep. Huh huh?_

Sora glanced out the window at the bright sun. _I wonder if it's this bright in Bermuda. Hm… I bet Cloud is having a great time with Leon. I'm so happy that he's finally happy. _Sora refreshed his inbox and clicked the new message instantly.

_Woke up ten minutes ago. I'm on the laptop and missing you_.

Sora laughed again and eagerly typed, _You know I'm only a room away, Ri-ku. You can come and see me if you want_.

Sora yawned and returned to the homepage and went to work as setting Riku as his Top. The brunet exited out of the website and arose to his feet figuring that he'd go and see his boyfriend. With a yawn, the brunet exited the computer room and headed down the hall to Riku's room. Sora easily entered through the open door and cheerfully made his way over to Riku who seemed deep in thought.

"Hey," Sora chimed, sitting down on the bed beside Riku.

"Hey," Riku echoed and offered a faint smile at him. "You weren't looking up porn on my computer, were you?" Riku asked teasingly.

Sora paled and scrunched up his nose. "Oh yeah, Riku. I was totally doing that." The brunet rolled his eyes and proceeded to lean against Riku's arm. "You're comfy," Sora randomly commented, fingers reaching out to rest on his boyfriend's knee.

"Thanks," Riku said in between a yawn. "Wanna lay down for a bit?"

Sora nodded. _A nap with Riku. I'm really starting to like this idea of dating him._

**x**xx**x**xxx**xx**xxx**x**xxx**x**

"Naminé, you look really sad," Sora noted as he took a seat beside the blonde female. It was true, she looked incredibly depressed.

"Yeah, you do," Riku agreed, his arm draped haphazardly around Sora's shoulders. Fingers toyed with the strands of Sora's hair as the trio sat in the black booth, a ways off from the stage. The silver haired male stared at his blonde friend with concern. "What's wrong?" he asked, a look of worry crossing his face.

"It's silly," Naminé laughed and waved her hands to dismiss the idea.

Sora frowned. "Nothing's silly if it's making you sad," Sora explained and suppressed the urge to squeak when he felt Riku's free hand brush over his. A blush, though, appeared.

Naminé took a deep breath and then nervously laughed. Her usually bright cyan eyes were cast downward and her thin lips were twisted into a large frown. "It's just everyone is getting together lately."

Riku didn't get it right away, but Sora did. "Naminé… I'm sure you'll find someone," Sora reasoned with a hopeful look. "Just have faith. I'm positive there's the perfect guy out there for you."

Naminé sighed again. "It's just you and Riku are together and Roxas and Axel are… and I'm …"

"I get it," Riku said at once. "We'll find someone for you," he added on encouragingly.

Sora gave a sharp nod to emphasize his boyfriend's point. "You're beautiful and smart and everything a guy would want!"

"Thank you, both of you," Naminé drawled, a small smile etched onto her thin lips. "I'm sure I will … someday." She nodded and then turned her attention over to Roxas and Axel who seemed to be quarreling over a cup of coffee. An almost silent giggle emitted from Naminé's half parted lips upon seeing the sight.

"I'm glad I found you," Riku cooed in a whisper. His words fluttered from his lips and swam into Sora's ears, intoxicating the brunet instantly. Sora's eyes lidded halfway, a shiver slipping down his spine. Why was it that Riku's voice caused so many chain reactions?

"Mhm… same," Sora answered. The brunet took a deep breath only for said breath to hitch when cold fingers filled the spaces between his own. Sora glanced curiously down at his hand, watching Riku's agile fingers intertwine with his own. And it was just so beautiful.

**x**xx**x**xxx**xx**xxx**x**xxx**x**

Sora curled up on the sofa, his eyes glued to the pages of Riku's notebook. The mentioned male had already departed for bed, claiming that he was incredibly tired. Sora figured that it was either a lie and he was on his laptop _or_ that Riku truly was tired. Sora hoped it was the latter of the pair. Regardless of what the reason was, Riku was out of sight, and that meant Sora could freely read the male's notebook, out in the open. So, he did such.

"Riku," Sora whispered quietly as he reread a few earlier excerpts. For some reason, the words had more power and seemed all the more provocative than they originally had. Was it the fact that _Riku _had written this that made it all the more powerful? Was it due to the fact that Sora now knew that _Riku_ had come up with these colorful, sensual, lusty scenes? A tremor shot like wildfire through Sora at the thought.

"He has a … vivid imagination," Sora noted as he traced the border of a page with his index finger. Blue eyes remained half-lidded, the dim light of the living room making it quite comfortable and almost sleep-inducing. Sora was determined to remain awake. He _wanted_ to stay up late and read.

And even if Sora had _wanted_ to fall asleep, his mind would not allow it. The burnet's mind was too enthralled by the fact that Riku had written all the sex scenes. All the smut. All the excerpts that made Sora overheat and his face flush. Had Riku experienced all of this? Was he an expert on this stuff? Was it experience and not just reality? Sora blinked, suddenly angered by the idea.

It was such a weird concept. For some reason, the very idea of Riku being with anyone other than _him_ tore away at Sora. Even if they were with the man _before_, it ate away at his mind and soul. Sora wanted to be the _only_ one. The only one for Riku to have ever held tight to his chest, to have kissed away the tears, to have whispered promises of eternity that in the end never shone true. Did that make him selfish?

"I'm over thinking things," Sora whispered to himself, eyes suddenly snapping shut. The brunet held them shut, painfully aware that Riku had been with his _brother_ prior to their current relationship. Why did the idea of Riku _kissing_ Cloud send the brunet's mind into fury and make him sick to his stomach?

Sora really couldn't _picture_ Cloud and Riku kissing intimately, nor could he imagine them actually going _farther_ than that. In Sora's clouded mind and perception, _he_ was the only one that belonged with his new boyfriend. _He_ was now the focus of his boyfriend's life. All past relationships suddenly vanished and seemed illogical and false. Did that make Sora even _more_ selfish?

It was only his second day of _dating_ Riku and Sora had already acquired possessive issues. The brunet groaned loudly, despite his sleeping partner a ways off. "I'm so stupid," said Sora in a pitiful moan.

_Naminé has nobody and everyone she falls for doesn't return her feelings, and here I am getting mad over Riku's past. I mean, it's not like he did anything wrong. People are supposed to do that sort of stuff … it's just. … If Riku loved Cloud enough to have sex with him … does that mean if he were to fall in love with me, I'd end just like it did with Cloud? Is Riku's love really that easy to obtain_? Sora suddenly detested his mind for thinking such thoughts. This was a casual and romantic relationship, not a soap opera. He needed to think _positive!_

_B-but… Riku and I started dating last night, and he's already acted like we've been dating for months… Back in school people didn't kiss their other until a month or so… and they definitely didn't bite each other's neck until far past a month. Do adults do this so freely? Am I just being immature?…_

And perhaps if Cloud would have explained the world and relationships and personal boundaries and whatnot to Sora, maybe the brunet wouldn't be so confused. It wasn't necessarily Cloud's fault, but it partially was.

Sora sighed and slipped the notebook under the cushion of the chair subconsciously, for _subconsciously_ he had heard Riku's door open. And _subconsciously_ he heard the footsteps nearing. And it certainly was _subconsciously _that when Riku pressed his body against the back of the sofa, his upper torso bending in half so he could arch his neck downward to kiss Sora's lips, Sora had eagerly returned the searing kiss.

"Thought you were….asleep," Sora murmured, his hands impulsively raising to rest on Riku's pale cheeks. His boyfriend's hands planted themselves firmly onto Sora's shoulder for support.

"I was," Riku answered, bruising his lips back against Sora's as he leaned down a bit more, adding more pressure and heat into the kiss.

It was weird. They had gone from best friends (sort of) to passionate boyfriends in a days time. And here they were, acting like they had been dating for _months_. Was this normal?, Sora thought. Was Riku allowed to kiss him like this? Was Sora supposed to so eagerly return his boyfriend's affection? Was Riku just using him as something to take his sexual frustration out on? Regardless of the answer, it sure felt _nice_.

"Sora," Riku murmured against the brunet's lips as his left hand strayed from Sora's shoulder. Now it resided on the brunet's chest, wandering aimlessly along the clothed planes.

Sora's breath caught in his throat as he instinctively arched his back forward and upwards. This, in return, brought their lips impossibly closer. "'ku…" Sora gasped, an explosion of _feel good_ pleasures coursing through his veins. Why had he thought that dating was so bad? This was so damn _nice_.

Sora easily forgot about the fact that Riku was the author and he had his notebook when Riku continued the feverish kisses. Sora forgot that perhaps he was just a replacement for Cloud. Sora forgot that they had been only dating for a day. He forgot that Riku was his first boyfriend. He forgot that Riku was a master of writing sex scenes. He forgot that Riku was his best friend's brother. He forgot that this world was reality and not fiction. He forgot that moaning, prior to this, had scared the brunet.

And more importantly, he even forgot _who_ he _was_ and what he stood for and his _morals._ He just simply forgot _everything_ when Riku was near.

And honestly, that really wasn't such a good idea.


	12. day twenty

_So basically I owe the world a boat-load of apologies for the ten day wait. i'm sorry. I've been distracted by unwritten and the time is just flying by and the next thing I knew, I hadn't updated in over nine days. I was stunned. Any how, I hope the plot progression in this compensates for the wait. And thank you so much to all the reviews so far! And all the favs and alerts. It makes me **so**__happy to see any/all of them. Thank you so much. And a special thanks, as always, to my lovely beta. Much love to her. _

* * *

**By Chance**

It had been twenty days since Sora had begun to live at Riku's apartment. Twenty days of petty squabbles, loving embraces, kisses, curses, laughs, and smiles. Twenty days of getting to know each other, learning about one another, and improving their relations. It was twenty days of something Sora thought he'd never encounter. Something he thought only was possible in those cheesy books. It was beautiful, yes, this affection he felt towards Riku, but something in his heart felt off. It wasn't perfect. It didn't feel _perfect_, it didn't feel like _soul mate_ material. But no matter what Sora felt, Riku was on his mind twenty four seven.

Perhaps it was the way Riku's touch drove him insane, making him shamelessly beg for more feverish kisses, or more hugs that never ended. Maybe it was the way Riku smirked at him when he went off to work, or maybe it was the way that Riku occasionally smiled, lightening the room. Just for those twenty days, Sora forgot about Riku's prior relations with Cloud and forgot his brother's connection with the pair in general. Just for those twenty days, Sora saw Riku as Riku and Cloud as Cloud.

Although Sora _liked_ Riku and _loved_ the way Riku kissed him, he wasn't necessarily pleased with Riku's utter urgency to deepen their relationship. And by that he meant test his boundaries…

One moment Sora was sauntering around the kitchen, humming cheerfully to the tune on the radio (a familiar song upon his lips), and the next moment he was being shoved up against the fridge. His shoulder blades hitched up as blue eyes stared questioningly into aquamarine ones. Since when was Riku so wantonly affectionate in the morning?

Sora let out a strangled gasp against Riku's lips seconds later, only for it to be muffled by their clashing of lips. Over and over. Wet against wet. Sora's back arched the slightest off the fridge and against his boyfriend's chest. One of the brunet's slender arms reached out, his fingers at once tightly coiling around Riku's shirt, clenching it tightly. The other, meanwhile, slithered up and into Riku's silky soft hair, pulling the other closer.

Riku moaned boisterously into the deep kiss, flicking his tongue along Sora's bottom lip. The silveret relished in the way Sora's breath hitched and his body clung weakly against his. Sora's knees felt shaky as he struggled to stand, only remaining in an upright position due to his boyfriend's body pressed against his.

Riku's kisses were addicting, like candy. They were sweet and always loving and just kept his mind off everything else. Riku was always so warm when he held Sora close, and Sora loved to greedily soak in that warmth and embrace it. Sora loved to shyly hold his boyfriend's hand whenever possible, and he loved the way Riku rarely blushed when Sora said something sweet offhandedly. It was innocent; it was beautiful. But it still didn't mean it was perfect or that Sora didn't feel awkward.

Sora shivered as Riku kept his arms securely around Sora's waist. It was a wonder that either of them could stand in such a comprising situation as this. Sure, they kissed before, but Riku had never, at random, pinned him against the nearest object and attacked him with such passion. No, this was new. Part of Sora _adored_ it and another felt uneasy. It was normal to feel both ways, right? Was he wrong not to feel entirely enamored by the way Riku aggressively kissed him, begging for more? Was it wrong to fear more?

Riku trailed his tongue repeatedly along the perimeter of Sora's mouth, begging for entry into the hot caverns that he had occasionally explored. Usually with Sora it was countless chaste, lingering kisses. It was a rarity that the two engaged in such an activity as this. Was it wrong for Riku to want this so badly that it taunted him in his sleep? Was it wrong for Riku to want to touch every single curve, every single dip, and every single piece of Sora's body? Was it a sin?

Sora gasped shakily, his mouth parting the slightest. The scant opening was all that Riku needed to plunge his tongue in, running it along the areas he could access. Over and over, just like their kisses. It was a cycle. Riku never did something once. With him, it was always over and over.

Sora tried his best to determine exactly how he felt when Riku's tongue brushed against his for a split second. A sensation soared down his back and into his toes, at once making them curl. That was a good thing, right? Sora's stomach, sometimes, knotted, warning him that perhaps he shouldn't be doing these things. Sometimes Sora listened, and other times he didn't. He trusted Riku. He believed that Riku would take things remotely slow… because, honestly, Sora had no idea what to do or when to do it.

And sometimes when they kissed, Sora wondered if Riku had kissed Cloud this passionately. Had Riku been so easily enamored with Cloud that he could kiss him this intensely? Or was this something special? Just for Sora? Riku's personality showed otherwise… Riku did things repetitively... And perhaps Sora was just part of his cycle…

But it felt so sinfully right when he melted into Riku's touch. It felt so damn right when Riku teasingly licked at the back of Sora's front teeth, knowing that it'd drive the brunet insane. Riku adored the cute little shy noises that Sora made. They weren't full blown moans, but they were a sign of pleasure. A sign of acceptance.

Riku continued his deep kiss with the brunet, completely draining them of any breath they might have had prior to this. With every passing minute, second, moment, Riku pushed closer to Sora until their bodies were flush against one another; until he could feel every curve of Sora's body against his, clothing being the only thing between them. And for a moment, Riku imagined them as one.

Sora's tanned hands shakily ran through Riku's hair, periodically tugging at the silver strands, twirling them around on his fingers, and even stroking them. He loved Riku's hair almost as he much as he was infatuated with Riku. Love wasn't in his vocabulary right now. Love was something he believed only Cloud could feel about Leon and Roxas could feel about Axel and Naminé could feel about the people that never returned her feelings. Love wasn't something Sora thought he'd be able to produce.

Sora was content with kisses like this. Kisses that sometimes made him feel dirty or like he had done something wrong, but overall made him feel light and dizzy. Sora figured that this was as far as Riku would take it- as far as most couples did. Sora knew about the other things but he didn't know that they were so commonly demonstrated…so when Riku tested his boundaries, it sent Sora into a state of shock.

Riku broke off the kiss, gasping for air. The male's aquamarine eyes were drenched a hue darker than normal, shining abnormally at his boyfriend, puffy lips and stained cheeks and all. Riku smirked rather suggestively before latching his worn-out lips onto Sora's tanned neck, licking and tasting the skin. Sora. It definitely tasted like _Sora_.

"R-ri…ku," Sora murmured incoherently, his head thrashing back, making contact with the metal fridge behind him. The brunet was lulled into such a sinful high that he didn't feel the skin on metal contact, nor did he care that a wave of temporary pain shot through his body. No, Sora's mind was entirely focused on Riku's devilish lips and teeth trailing along his neck, suckling and biting and making him gasp.

"Sora," Riku purred against Sora's neck, making a wet noise as he spoke. Sora giggled nervously, despite his pleasure-high. Riku said nothing more and continued to let his actions speak for themselves. Too bad for Riku that Sora didn't know the language. Which one was it?

Riku's right hand slipped upward the slightest. Cold fingers danced up and under the fabric of his boyfriend's shirt, at once making contact with the warm flesh that covered the brunet's sides. Riku savored the way that Sora gasped _so damn loudly_, and the way his back arched _insanely_. But Riku downright _indulged_ in the way that Sora's skin melted into his touch, scorching all the while.

"R-riku?" Sora asked in a slur, uncertain of what his boyfriend was doing. Sure, Riku had run his hands over his chest plenty of times before, or ran his hands along his sides… but he had never once ventured _under_ the shirt. Sora's body went from weak to entirely covered in goosebumps. Was Riku allowed to touch him like that? "Riku?" questioned Sora again, his last syllable sounding more like a mewl than anything.

"Hm?" Riku hummed against Sora's neck, leading his lips down to the junction of his boyfriend's neck and shoulder, surely leaving marks. "What's up?" he murmured, the innuendo flying over both of their heads due to their clouded states and hazy minds.

"What are you d-d-oing?" Sora wondered, his back once again arching against the other's.

And that was when Sora's self control suddenly shattered onto the kitchen floor. Something in his body lit on fire. Something pounded in his heart the moment he felt Riku's body fully against his. Something wild and _fierce_ and lusty developed in Sora's core (the innocence and curiosity of a virgin, perhaps).

Sora's arms betrayed their earlier positions and relocated, desperately slinging themselves around Riku's neck. He tangled his arms together there, begging for support before his body slumped to the ground from the sudden wave of heat and dirty pleasure that shot through his body. His cheeks flushed and his body ached, making it so damn hard to breathe.

"W-w-hat?" Sora slurred, burying his face into the crone of his boyfriend's neck. "T-that?"

Riku purred shamelessly against Sora's jaw, kissing it with growing fervor. God, whatever Sora had just done he wanted to produce it again. He wanted to feel _that_ close to Sora. _That_ close right here and now. "Sora," Riku downright groaned in a tone that Sora had never heard the other use.

Was that… lust?

"R-riku…" Sora warned, his body feeling far too warm. The brunet suddenly felt like he was going to faint and that he needed to sit down. He tried to wiggle free from Riku's grasps, wanting to declare that that had been _definitely_ enough for now, but Riku was having none of that.

"Mmm..sh…" mumbled Riku incoherently. The teen all but grinded his hips against his boyfriend's, feeling needles of pleasure piercing into his body. Riku moaned the brunet's name in desire and downright _want_ as he clung mercilessly onto Sora's body. Sora. Sora, his Sora.

"Ri-_ku_!" Sora shouted, half from alarm and half from ecstasy. What the _hell_ did Riku just do? The brunet's toes curled and his mind went blank for a moment and all he could see was white and then he was just _aching_ for that again. But with that pleasure had come moans and grunts and something Sora's mind wasn't capable of accepting at this moment.

So before Riku had time to even reproduce that delicious feeling, Sora's nails dug into Riku's exposed neckline as he slurred out a pained, "S-stop."

Riku blinked and loosened his hold around Sora. All his actions ceased as his hands dropped from Sora's hips, landing idly by his sides. Aquamarine eyes flashed questioningly to Sora who was a bright red, a thin film of sweat appearing on the brunet's forehead. Beads of sweat. How poetic.

"'Stop'?" Riku echoed as he panted, pathetically trying to catch his breath, doing nothing to hide his obvious arousal. "S-sora… god, _why_?" he moaned desperately, burying his face into Sora's neck.

"B-because," Sora barely managed to answer. The brunet's eyes were drenched with uncertain pleasure, curiosity, and _fear_. It was amazing how those three could all live happily together in harmony. "I just… don't…" By now Sora was rambling insensibly.

Riku stared at Sora for a long while, aquamarine eyes fixated on his boyfriend. It was obvious that Riku's eyes were darkened by lust that threatened to leak out at any moment. "Sora," Riku breathed, groaning at the end.

Sora knew right off the bat that he was disappointing the suave Riku. Was he supposed to be seduced by Riku's dexterous touches and huskily spoken words? Was he supposed to let Riku 'defile' him that easily? Two weeks wasn't that long, especially when you went your entire life without a boyfriend. "Please, you're making me feel bad," whispered Sora.

Riku sighed and grunted in response. The silveret remained where he was, refusing to let Sora slip from his grasp. Not now when he was so damn _worked up_. "You don't want to go farther?" A blunt question from a blunt person, it seemed.

Sora blinked and sheepishly looked down. Was he ashamed? "Not now," Sora answered honestly. Taking things too fast seemed like a horrid idea, so Sora strayed away from it.

"When?" asked Riku almost automatically.

Sora tensed. Was Riku that eager to go that extra step? Flashes of the notebook danced into Sora's head, along with images of Riku with _his_ brother. With _Cloud_. No matter what Sora did, he couldn't shake the intense feeling of betrayal. Did dating Riku make him a bad person?

"I don't know," Sora replied nervously. Bashful blue eyes stared nervously into aquamarine, glad to see that Riku was calming down. "I just don't want to rush things… I'm sorry, Riku."

"Don't apologize," Riku murmured chastely. The male then kissed Sora's cheek. "I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable." Now it was _Riku _who was doing the apologizing. How the tables could turn in an instant, it seemed.

"Am I a bad boyfriend?" Sora felt compelled to ask. Sora had no idea. All he wanted was some level-headed guidance from someone who had _been_ through a relationship. Someone who could fully explain what came with a relationship. Movies and books and watching from afar only got you so far in the end.

Riku's eyes widened, and then he gaped at the brunet in front of him. "God no, Sora. You're amazing," Riku cooed. "You're loyal and honest and affectionate, and downright adorable. You're an angel, and I'm honored to be considered part of your life."

"Riku," Sora said with a smile appearing. The brunet wasn't sure how much of that Riku meant, but he was convinced, in his heart, that those words had bled from Riku's soul and fallen from his lips like the god he truly was.

And they kissed again, too caught up in the moment to care about anything else. And all Riku wanted was to touch his beautiful angel, to make him _his_.

**x**xxx**x**x**x**xx**x**

"You're speeding." Riku winced as he tightened his grip on the steering wheel. "Twenty miles over the speed limit. Eighty miles an hour, Riku. Slow down. You're gonna cause a bloody accident!" Riku sighed and distractedly lowered the pressure onto the gas pedal. Aquamarine eyes stared out the window at the cars around him. Lanes and lanes of colorful cars.

"My mind's displaced," Riku provided as he slowed his speed down to an acceptable amount. Sea-green eyes didn't dare look over at the red-head beside him. Instead, he kept his gaze fixed on the outside world, pretending for just that moment that he was _such_ a careful driver.

"Why?" Axel wondered as he cocked his head to the side. "Your boyfriend break up with you or something? Or is this about Cloud? Or…"

"Axel, shut up," Riku snapped and tightened his hold onto the steering wheel again. "I'm just feeling weird lately. It's nothing to worry about. Let's just change the subject. How are you and Roxas?"

Axel blinked thrice and then combusted into fits of laughter. "Oh Riku, you _kill_ me. Something is obviously wrong. You never just ask about _my_ relationship out of nowhere, because you _know that_ I'll just go into an hour long, detailed rant about what we did the past few days. Every. Single. Second. Every little detail. And I know you don't want to hear that, so you must be pretty desperate to-" Axel rambled only for Riku to smack his friend upside the head.

"You're an idiot," Riku concluded and huffed, looking quite irritable.

Axel stifled his laughs. "Now, on a serious note, what's up?"

Riku sighed and decided to be as blunt as he could. "I tried going farther with Sora and he made it a point to say that he didn't want that." Riku didn't dare shift his gaze over to Axel.

"Wow," Axel drawled, eyebrows wiggling. "When I asked Roxas if he wanted more, he hissed at me for talking too much and dragged me onto him. And we all know what happens after that, don't we?" Snicker.

"That's good for you," Riku grumbled darkly and tapped his fingers onto the steering wheel. "I'm so pleased that you got an easy lay for a boyfriend."

Axel mocked frown. "Oh Riku, don't be mad that Roxas and I love one another. I'm sure that Sora just _loves_ you and all the things you can do with that crafty tongue of yours. I bet it drives him _insane_. I bet he dreams about you at night and wakes up in a naked sweat panting your name."

Riku cringed at the mental images. "Are you always this sensual?"

"Only on Tuesdays!" Axel hummed cheerfully.

Riku rolled his eyes and adjusted his gaze back onto the crowded New York streets. It was a long moment before Riku spoke up again. "He asked me if I wanted to stay and go shopping with him and Naminé. He said that he wanted to introduce me to his friend who just came back home from vacation. I told him I had things to do."

"You? Things to do? That aren't sexual?" Axel arched a brow, stroking his chin rather thoughtfully. "You _lied_ to him?"

"Sora would never forgive me if I slipped about our relationship in front of his judgmental, single-minded friend," Riku grunted and shook his head in dismay. "Our relationship is complicated and it's only been two weeks. Go fucking figure, huh?"

"All relationships are complicated, Ri-ku," Axel pointed out and shook his head. "I mean, just look at me and Roxas. We started dating due to a _bet_. And then we just grew to love one another and _bam_. We're together. And it's staying that way for a pretty damn long time. If love wasn't complicated do you think romance novelists would be so fucking rich?"

Riku snorted. "I suppose you're right."

"I know I'm right," Axel hummed nonchalantly. "Besides, you're dating your best friend's _virgin_ brother. You're playing with fire."

"The fire is what? The fact that he's a virgin or that he's Cloud's brother?" Riku wondered and spared Axel a curious look.

"Both," Axel concluded. "I mean, isn't it written somewhere that you really shouldn't date your-"

"I'm sick of people saying that and me thinking that and just stop," Riku snarled and shook his head. "I know the fucking saying and I know that Cloud is gonna be pissed. I _get_ that. This is getting redundant. Can we _please_ change the subject?"

"… Fine, someone's grumpy," Axel mumbled and sighed. "I was just trying to help. Geez."

"I know but I hate talking about the same thing more than once. It's annoying," Riku groaned and passed a car, gaining speed once again. "Sora's been fretting about Cloud finding out since the beginning. That's all he ever says. I know that we're taking a risk, but, _please_. I don't want to constantly worry about him."

"You care more for Sora than Cloud?" Axel finally asked, tilting his head to the side.

Riku froze, his hands gripping the wheel tighter. "Did you _just_ ask me that?"

"Yes?" Axel replied uncertainly, cocking his head. "I mean, I'd understand if Sora would be more important since you're dating him, so don't feel bad if you-"

"I don't."

"What? Don't feel bad?" Axel wondered, blinking thrice in confusion.

Riku shook his head and grumbled darkly, "I don't care about Sora more than Cloud." And he left it at that. And for some reason, he felt like he hadn't only betrayed Axel and Sora, but himself.

**x**xxx**x**x**x**xx**x**

It had been an _amazing_ day, in Sora's opinion. Naminé had met Tidus and the chemistry between the pair was obvious. Sora had never been good in science, or biology for that fact, but he even _he_ could see it. The brunet smiled fondly as Tidus and Naminé stood to his right, casually chatting, occasionally asking his input in a matter. Sora replied cheerfully each time, glad that his friends were getting along so well. And that smile on Naminé's face, it was just beautiful. She seemed so _happy_.

They had spent the majority of the day wandering the mall, chatting, and sight-seeing. Around five, they returned to the mall, waiting for Riku to pick Sora back up. Tidus informed the pair that he could walk home. With a sweet goodbye to Naminé and a hearty one to Sora, he left, waving them off.

And Sora found the blush on Naminé's cheeks adorable.

"Seems like you had a good day," Sora commented as they sat on the stonewall outside the mall. The wind lightly brushed past them as the sun beat. Summer always meant long days, after all.

"I did," Naminé agreed and smiled fondly at Sora. "Thank you for inviting me."

"You're welcome!" Sora answered and laughed. "You and Tidus really seem to get along. I hope you guys will see each other again." And seeing Naminé and Tidus happy, he could be happy himself.

"I hope so," Naminé concurred and stared up at the sky. "Love's such a funny thing, huh?"

"That it is," Sora agreed and crossed his arms to his chest. "What does it feel like exactly? If you don't mind me asking…"

Naminé shook her head, blonde bangs falling against her pale face. "Not at all. It's hard to describe, but I'll try my best," she said warmly. "For me, at least, it's an enormous force in my life. Whenever I fall in love, I get butterflies in my stomach and can't keep his face out of my mind. It's just… well, you'll know. It's such an unbelievable feeling, and I can't really it explain it to someone whose never felt it." She sighed.

"Thanks for trying… it sounds really nice from what you've said. Cloud always seems like that when he's around Leon," Sora pointed out and nodded to his own words. "I'm really happy for him."

Naminé nodded. "Naturally," she agreed.

The pair paused mid-sentence when they saw the silver haired male approaching them. Sora grinned profusely and jumped off the stonewall. Forgetting about he early morning uneasiness, and then replaying Riku's words of beauty in his head on infinitive loop, Sora ran up to his boyfriend. The brunet then proceeded to throw his arms around Riku's chest, hugging him increasingly tighter.

"Sora?" Riku asked in stun and then laughed nervously, returning the embrace. "How was your day?" he asked, trying not to seem too flustered by the brunet's sudden display of affection.

"Good, but I missed you!" Sora stated with a sharp nod as he kept his arms tightly woven around Riku's chest. Sora propped his chin onto Riku's chest so that they could make eye-contact. "Did you miss me?" A smile.

"Of course," Riku said, fairly certain that he meant _those_ words.

"Good," Sora sighed blissfully and then tore himself out of Riku's grasp and motioned for Naminé to come over. "Tidus and Naminé met today. They seem to be potential best friends!" Sora informed Riku.

Naminé blushed as she stood beside the couple. Riku noticed this blush and eyed her for a long while. Something inside him felt different, but he ignored it. His attention turned back to the younger Kayaki brother in his arms. "That's good," Riku said simply.

"What'd _you_ do today?" Sora asked Riku, smiling sheepishly at his boyfriend. Riku always made him feel so damn _nervous_. But for some reason Sora _enjoyed_ that.

"Work with Axel and stuff," Riku replied vaguely. "Nothing really exciting…" _Except that I admitted that Cloud means more to me than you… That's pretty shallow, huh?…_

"I see," Sora hummed and nodded, looping his right arm around Riku's neck, a tiny smile forming. His sapphire hues glimpsed back over his shoulder at Naminé, flashing his blonde friend an equally vibrant smile. Sora was just _full_ of joviality today.

"I'm going to go now. I have an appointment with a client," Naminé said, breaking off the tender, hugging moment between the lovers. "I'll see you both tomorrow, all right?" She smiled and waved them off, only leaving when she received an acceptable goodbye from the pair of them.

Everything was going good… until later that night…

**x**xxx**x**x**x**xx**x**

"Mm… yeah, Cloud. I'm really tired… had a good day," Sora said with a yawn, leaning his head against the pillow. A soft sigh filtered out of the brunet's lips as he nuzzled the pillow, at peace with the world. Riku was a good boyfriend overall. Perhaps it wasn't love, but hell, it was enough for Sora right now. And as long as Riku was willing to accept his boundaries, all was right in Sora's world.

That was, until…

"Sora, please, listen to me," Cloud said for the second time. "I need you to pay attention because I don't want this to come as a surprise to you…"

Sora's ears perked up. "Huh?… What is it?" He was now alert. He was now actually paying attention to his brother and not daydreaming about special nobodies- namely Riku in the next room, half-naked. Neh.

"There's a bad storm coming, and Leon's worried that we'll be stranded here if damages are that severe. So we're flying back home tomorrow morning… We should be home around five if all goes well, and I'll stop by at around seven to pick you up. Make sure you're ready," Cloud said slowly, acting as if this information would please his younger brother.

Sora paled. _Tomorrow?… Aren't I supposed to have another week and a half or so with Riku…? What…_ "You are?…" Sora asked stupidly.

"Yeah," was Cloud's simple response.

Sora sighed. He couldn't argue. What could he possibly say? That he wanted to stay here at Riku's because they were _dating_? Still… keeping the relationship from his brother wasn't settling well with Sora, but he'd learn to get over it. Sora sighed, again, and nodded. "All right, Cloud. I'll see you then."

"Bye, love you, Sora."

"Love you too," Sora whispered and hung up. The brunet banged his head back down against the pillow, tightly holding it to his lithe chest. _I don't want to go home.. I like it here… I like being with Riku…_

And then Sora thought…._How is Riku going to take this?_

* * *

review, please :) 


	13. day twentyone

this chapter is horribly emotional. loads of different emotions and yeah. enjoy it. sorry for the delay, was having a small issue regarding my ideas not flowing. anyhow, the story's back in gear and here's the new dramatic chapter! please leave a review for me.

* * *

By Chance

Riku tilted his head to the side. Silver bangs fell delicately in front of his serious aquamarine eyes. Thin pale pink lips were pressed into a line as the male eyed his brunet boyfriend. All was silent throughout the apartment- aside from the strumming of the clock in another room. It was remarkable how quiet the pair was being. Sora's blue eyes were glued to the wooden floor in a display of a silent refusal to look up. A shiver slipped through Sora's tiny frame. Silence once again reigned as supreme. No words were spoken and no actions were taken. Just lifeless stares and emptiness.

After awhile Riku dared to speak. "Sora, what's wrong?"

It was odd. Odd how someone could _always_ tell when something was wrong with you. Was it because they knew you _that_ well or because you were _that_ obvious? Sora said nothing and instead shrugged his thin shoulders. Sora continued to vehemently refuse to meet Riku's gaze, finding the floor a lot more entrancing than the beautiful teenager beside him.

"Sora," Riku said accusingly, this time a bit more stern. Sora stiffened. "Tell me what's wrong." It was more of a demand that a request.

"Riku, everything's fine," Sora lied. The brunet's hands clenched by his sides, out of sight from the silver haired male. "I hate when people ask me that," Sora went on to say, shaking his head to further accent his position.

Riku sighed perplexedly. "Whatever it is, I'm sure it isn't that big of a deal. You can tell me, Sora," Riku reassured the brunet beside him. "I mean, we've been dating for weeks now and I assume that by now you should trust me, right?" Trust. A five letter word that might mean a lot more than love.

"It's nothing you've done," Sora felt compelled to point out. A sigh elicited from Sora's pale lips seconds after. "I just have a headache and I'm spacing out for some reason. Don't worry," Sora continued.

"Bull shit," Riku challenged harshly. "Did you honestly think I would buy that?"

"I -"

"Sora, I'm your _boyfriend_. I'm expected to know when something's wrong with you," Riku said a bit defensively. At this point, Sora had finally lifted his gaze. At once, their eyes met and it took all that Sora had not to breakdown in tears. "Now, are you going to tell me?" Riku asked expectantly.

"Riku-" Sora croaked. Riku tilted his head to the side in confusion. Without another word, Sora reached out with needy arms and tangled said arms around Riku's neck. A whimper fell from the brunet's shaking lips as he nestled his face into the crone of his boyfriend's neck. "'ku," Sora murmured against the pale skin he lay against.

"What's wrong?" Riku asked, though this time it was a lot gentler. "Sora?" Riku ran his nimble fingers through the brown locks of hair, urging the younger to let everything out.

"Cloud," Sora choked and hugged Riku tighter.

"What about Cloud?" Riku's eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

"He's coming to pick me up later," Sora said in a shaky voice. Sora proceeded to tighten his grip around Riku's neck and yank his body closer so that he was practically in his boyfriend's lap. "I don't want to leave yet," Sora whined, sounding strikingly akin to a two-year old.

Riku frowned immediately. "Sora, it's not like we won't be able to see-"

Sora was offended by Riku's lack of concern or anger. "Riku!" Sora yelled and balled his fists up against Riku's firm chest. "I like being here!" And for Sora to confess to something like that proved how damn _worked up _he was over this precise moment.

"I can still see you, Sora. I'll come-" Riku attempted for a second time.

"Riku, you don't get it!" Sora shouted in frustration, keeping his head nestled in the junction of Riku's neck. "Cloud'll know something's up if you come over everyday! Cloud'll be angry and-" Sora rambled in a shaky tone but was silenced when he felt a hand grip his cheek and tilt it up.

Weakly, Sora looked up. Riku had somehow managed to place both of his hands on Sora's face - one on both of Sora's cheeks. Aquamarine eyes met teary sapphire hues. "Listen to me. Who gives a fuck if Cloud knows. He can't do anything about it, okay? You're an adult and he can't stop us from being together so stop it," Riku drawled.

Sora winced. "Riku," Sora whispered and painfully looked away. "He's my older brother… His opinion matters to me…"

"And you matter to me," Riku stated firmly. _But not as much as Cloud. I'm a horrible person, aren't I?…_

"You-" Sora began in confusion and blinked, his cheeks scorching a red beneath Riku's touch from the spoken words. Before Sora had time to question those sincere thoughts, Riku had covered Sora's lips with his own, capturing them into a searing kiss. At once, shivers shot through Sora's body, turning his blood to fire as his toes promptly curled.

"Would you break up with me if Cloud found out?" Riku murmured against Sora's lips. And Riku felt the _entirety_ of Sora tense. No answer came as Riku continued to roll their lips together, sending Sora into a blissful high. "Would you?" Riku asked, this time a bit louder and demanding.

"Riku…" Sora replied uncertainly, leaning into the welcome touch. "Don't…"

"Would you choose your brother over me?" Riku asked, sending the room into an earsplitting silence.

Sora froze beneath Riku's grasp. Blue eyes fluttered open and stared in disbelief at the silveret. Confusion spread through Sora like a wildfire. A community of fear built up in Sora as he stared, wide-eyed, at his boyfriend who wore a demanding expression. Sora blinked thrice and trembled in Riku's grasp. He had no escape. Riku _wanted_ an answer. Not later, but _now_.

"Don't make me choose, Riku," Sora warned, chewing his bottom lip. "Don't make me-"

"Two weeks," Riku mumbled, bruising their lips together again in an intense kiss. Sora squeaked but the noise was muffled by their lips. "Two weeks and you're willing to end it over what your brother says?"

Sora felt tears appearing in his eyes. If you love somebody, shouldn't your family love them as well? Isn't that just proper? Sora pulled away from Riku's grasp. His body at once missed the fiery kiss. Sora tumbled off the couch and onto the floor, tears threatening to fall. Why didn't Riku _understand_? "Am I a replacement?" Sora asked in a shuddery voice.

Riku's eyebrows knitted together. _"What_?"

And Sora began to wonder _why_ he just asked that out of _nowhere_. "Am I a replacement for Cloud?" Sora demanded, staring up at the seated Riku from his own placement on the floor. Maybe this was where he belonged; at Riku's feet.

"Why would you _think_ that?" Riku practically seethed.

"I-" Sora said shakily. "I didn't-"

"You're nothing like Cloud," Riku said resentfully, almost _angered_ by the brothers' differences. Sora shivered and stared up at his boyfriend with intense fear. Sora's lips mouthed words of confusion but the strangled noises went unheard as Riku arose from the couch and stalked out of the room, down the hallway in an angry fury.

Sora sat on the floor for awhile, trying to process what had just happened. And when he did, he broke down in tears. _I don't get him at all…_

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

"Sora," Cloud said from beside the brunet.

All was silent in the taxi up until this point. The older brother had dared to break the silence with his brother's name. There they sat, side-by-side, in that yellow cab, headed back to their apartment, away from _Riku_. Sora had managed to halt his tears for the time being. After Riku's outburst earlier this morning, everything had been uneasy between the couple. Riku refused to meet Sora's gaze and they barely spoke. Riku didn't even give Sora a kiss _goodbye_. Sora didn't even think that Riku acknowledged that he had left. Maybe Riku was _glad_ that he was rid of him. Was Sora a burden to his boyfriend? Were they even dating still?

"Yeah?" asked Sora weakly, looking to his right to Cloud.

"Leon and I broke up," Cloud stated as bluntly as he could. Sora's eyes widened at once in shock. "Leon didn't think it was fair to me that I rarely got to see him because of his work. I… I didn't want to tell you that our breakup was the reason we flew back. I figured that I'd keep it to myself." And on Cloud's look was intense appearance of shame.

"Cloud! You love him! You should have told him that you knew he was trying his best!" Sora reasoned with alarm, at once forgetting his and Riku's spat. "Call him now!" Sora urged, groping around Cloud's bag for his cell phone.

Cloud reached out and placed his hand over Sora's. The brunet looked up at once and paused all his movements. Cloud solemnly shook his head as Sora sat back up. "Sora, I'm not sure how long we'll be apart. I think that he might need some time to himself," Cloud murmured.

"But you love him, right?" Sora asked curiously, looking at Cloud with confused blue eyes.

"Yeah," Cloud answered.

Sora sharply nodded. "Then win him back!" Sora urged. "If you love him then you should do anything you can to get him back. You're so happy with him, Cloud," he whispered and shyly looked to the ground, uncertain if he was allowed to talk to his brother about his relationship.

"Leon's an amazing person. He'll… he'll come around," Cloud murmured hopefully to himself. "I'll talk to him later."

"Good," Sora said with a relieved sigh.

"So, putting side my relationship mishap, how was your sabbatical?" Cloud asked with a small, teasing smirk.

Sora sighed and shrugged. "It was okay," he admitted. _It would have been better if Riku didn't start acting really strange. It's just been the past few days…. What's wrong with him?_

"I'm sorry that I left you there," Cloud apologized. "At the time I thought it'd be a good idea but then when I got to Bermuda I realized how wrong it was to force you to live there," Cloud groaned and rubbed his forehead.

"It's okay," Sora reasoned, shaking his head. "I had…fun."

"On a scale of one to ten, ten being a complete asshole, how did Riku act?" Cloud wondered, folding his arms to his chest.

Sora cleared his throat. _Of course, we are already on the topic of Riku. What if I slip? What if Cloud figures it out?! _"Eh… a five," Sora said and tried his best to hide a blush that was appearing on his cheeks. Riku _was_ quite romantic and Sora did have to admit that he missed the other's embrace and smile and kiss. But mostly just Riku.

"Well, at least that's only halfway on the meter," Cloud reasoned and shook his head in dismay. "I'm really sorry, Sora. I shouldn't have ruined your summer like that." And it was obvious how bad Cloud was feeling by the regretful look etched upon his usually stoic face.

"Cloud, don't worry about it. I still have a month and a half or so left," Sora pointed out with a bright smile appearing on his face. "You didn't ruin my summer, doofus," Sora went on to say, playfully poking his brother's shoulder. Sora detested when Cloud was depressed, so therefore the brunet did anything in his power to brighten his older brother's spirits.

"Pizza and movies?" Cloud suggested, arching his brows.

"Sounds good to me," Sora said, his face beaming with a newfound happiness. "Extra pepperoni on my half!" Sora swooned and grinned at his older brother with adoration. _I'm going to be okay. Me and Riku will just… have a break and everything will be fine when I see him again. Yeah, that's the plan._

"Of course," Cloud answered with a swift nod. "And extra cheese on my half."

"Of course," Sora echoed. The brunet stuck his tongue out at Cloud and then ducked when Cloud went to playfully swat him. "What movies, eh?"

"Well, Namine is letting me borrow her copy of Whitenoise so why not that?" Cloud suggested.

Sora promptly froze. Cloud knew _Naminé_. As in Riku's friend? Sora blinked curiously at Cloud and said nothing at first. Cloud had never mentioned Naminé before…so why now? Why now when Sora had met her? Sora pushed aside the odd thought and nodded. "Horror movie, right?"

"She said it's amazing," Cloud pointed out and folded his arms to his chest. "And you know how much I detest romance movies so this one will suit me well."

"We all know," Sora cooed and looked out the window. "Hey…Cloud?"

Silence.

"Yeah?"

"When we get home, can we…talk?"

Cloud looked pensive. "Sure."

And for some reason, they both knew what was in store.

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

"Riku?…"

Riku banged his hands down onto the ivory keys of the piano with utter frustration. Tears stormed up in his aquamarine eyes. His body violently shook as he gripped onto the keys toughly. He said nothing and remained silent, sitting on the bench with a look of distraught. Naminé stood by his side, in the midst of the café, eying her friend with concern. The blonde wearily put her hand on Riku's shoulder, only for Riku to flinch it off. At once, the female frowned and looked down at her hand, as if it had just been burnt. "Riku," she said quietly, as if worried about her friend's wellbeing.

"He thinks he's a replacement," Riku stated coldly, his hands flattening along the cold piano keys. "He thinks I'm using him," Riku said harshly, fury burning in his usually expressive eyes.

"Sora?" Naminé guessed vaguely, eying Riku. She flinched when he barked back with a sarcastic response. "Riku…" she warned, chewing her bottom lip with concern. "You shouldn't have gotten involved with him," she said, "you know as well as I do that you're still healing from Cloud. You don't handle fights well…"

"I'm over him," Riku snapped irritably. "I have job, money, and a life that _doesn't_ involve Cloud. I'm over the rejection. I'm not dwelling on it so stop treating me like I am," Riku seethed in fury, turning to glare at Naminé.

The therapist sighed. "Then why did you tell Axel that Cloud meant more to you then Sora? Shouldn't it be the other way around? Especially when Cloud broke-"

"Shut up!" Riku snapped, looking like he had literally _snapped_ himself. "Don't even _bring_ that up."

"Riku… I've never-" Naminé said slowly, confusion swarming in her eyes. Never before had she seen Riku _this_ upset. And never before had he directed it directly onto his friends. This was new, and Naminé was hating it.

"I hate that he's so worried about what his brother'll say about us. I'm sick of him acting like what we're doing is taboo. I can't even-" Riku snarled and then was silenced when he felt a small hand smack him. Hard. Riku winced and glared over at the blonde who was fuming.

"Riku!" Naminé snapped and was glad that not many people were in the café. "You're his first boyfriend, of _course_ he's worried about what Cloud will say! He's only _human_. Stop being so selfish!"

"I'm far from selfish!" Riku argued, narrowing his eyes.

"If you expect Sora to fall into your arms, then you've got another thing coming. I'm surprised tht he even agreed to date you so easily," Naminé fumed and then stormed off, throwing an annoyed stare over his shoulder. And really, that was the first time Naminé had walked away from an argument without resolving it.

"Whatever," Riku groaned and rubbed his forehead. Maybe a stop to visit Sora later would do him some good… After all, he never apologized for blowing up on the brunet…

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

"It's good to be home," Sora said quietly, inhaling the familiar scent of his home. Yes, it was amazing to be home. The small apartment seemed a lot more homey than Riku's massive one. Although Cloud and his apartment didn't have all the things that Riku's did, Sora loved it. Mostly because it was _theirs_. And for the two brothers to have such a place was a laudable achievement.

"It sure does," Cloud agreed, placing his bags in the living room. The blond stretched his arms above his head and watched in amusement as his brother dropped his things off beside his own. "No place like home, like they say."

"How cliché," Sora teased and plopped down onto the couch, inhaling in relief. Usually people _sighed_ in relief, but no, Sora _inhaled_. He took deep breaths of _relaxation._ Maybe a break from Riku was what he needed? Perhaps.

"You're at home for barely a minute and you're already becoming a couch-potato again," Cloud hummed and stuck his tongue out at his brother. With a sigh, Cloud bent down and opened his suitcase, sitting down beside it. Silently, the blond brother began sorting through his clothing, placing them into separate piles.

Sora watched Cloud, chewing his bottom lip nervously. "Cloud?" Sora asked wearily, swinging his body off the couch. The brunet sauntered over and cautiously nudged his brother on the shoulder.

"Hm?" Cloud asked, glancing up from his sorting. "What's up?"

"I… said I wanted to talk," Sora whispered. "Can we?"

Cloud inhaled deeply and gestured for Sora to sit beside him. At once, Sora plopped down beside his brother and nervously looked about. Color drained from Sora's face as he laced his fingers together in his lap. Well, here went nothing. "Can you ….tell me about our parents?" After all, he had the right to know.

Cloud stiffened and dropped the shirt he was removing from the suitcase. Blue eyes watched the article flutter back into the case as Cloud's hand remained suspended in air, his fingers splayed. Cautiously, Cloud looked over to Sora. "What about them?"

Sora swallowed and nervously began playing with his fingers. "Everything. What they were like… how they died, everything, Cloud," Sora said quietly, his voice barely a whisper. God, why was he so _scared_?

"Sora," Cloud said, almost as quietly. "Why are you asking now?"

"…I want to know. I deserve to know," Sora said timidly, gulping a bit. "I want to know, please." Sora would beg, if he had to.

Cloud took a deep breath and then brushed his fingers through his hair. "Our mother and father loved us, know that. They were both… dangerous people, in their own sense. They would never lay a hand to us, and they never did. But their jobs…they were risking a lot. Mom's wasn't as daring. She, in fact, had an extremely simple one. A bank teller. Dad, though… Dad worked for the government and was constantly dealing with people he shouldn't have been." Cloud shook his head and rubbed his forehead. "The only reason I know about this is because Dad went against his code of honor and told me about his work."

"So it's like…the FBI or something?" Sora wondered, nervously tilting his head to the side.

"Sort of, but not as… spyish?" Cloud responded and chewed his bottom lip. "Anyway, Dad had this case to try and bring justice to this ruthless duo that were plaguing the town with counterfeit money and drugs. You know, the typical thing. For everyone Dad brought into justice discreetly, he'd get paid. Seems simple, right? Well… Dad bite off more than he could chew and somehow managed to break a deal with one specific man… He… had no idea that Dad worked for the government," Cloud explained.

_Wait…. So that's what Zexion was talking about?…_ "That man's father and he were in a sick and sinister operation. Sort of an underground thing. I can barely remember. But I do remember that the sick bastards killed Dad and soon after did Mom in as payback. And…"

"And?" Sora questioned, placing his hand reassuringly onto his brother's shoulder, tears forming in his eyes.

"I was there to watch…both things occur," Cloud said, his voice now on the verge of breaking down.

"Cloud, I'm…" Sora cut himself off and tangled his arms around Cloud's body. Effortlessly, Sora hugged his older brother tight, resting his head beneath Cloud's chin. "I'm so sorry, Cloud," whispered Sora, tightening his grip around his brother. "So sorry this happened…"

"It had nothing to do with you, Sora," Cloud reasoned, his voice strained as he threaded his fingers through Sora's hair.

"You should have talked to me about this," Sora murmured, nuzzling Cloud's neck. "I could have helped you get through this sooner. Cloud, I've always wanted to know…" Tears began falling from Sora's eyes, his heart breaking at the idea of how his parents had died and the anguish his older brother went through by himself.

"I was waiting for when I thought you were ready," Cloud said, shaking his head as he massaged Sora's scalp. "I know I should have told you earlier. I just didn't want you to overreact."

Sora sighed, shivering a bit at the idea that he had met his parent's killer. "Me? Overreact?" Sora said with a hesitant laugh, still holding the blond close. "I'm just glad that you told me, Cloud…"

"You said it yourself, you deserved to know," murmured Cloud, looking off to the side, a bit ashamed.

"Maybe I should have waited to ask you… I mean, you just broke up with Leon and now, here I am, forcing you to remember our parent's death," Sora muttered, feeling a bit bad himself as he loosened his grip around Cloud's neck, just enough to nuzzle his brother's chest. "Would you consider that being a bad brother?"

"Sora," Cloud stated sternly, "never say that again. You're an amazing person and I'm glad to call you my brother. Don't ever doubt yourself."

"I just… don't know sometimes," Sora admitted.

"You're just growing up, that's all," Cloud reasoned and kissed the top of his brother's head before lightly jabbing Sora's shoulder. "Now, let's finish unpacking and have a good dinner. Sound good?"

A light smile spread across Sora's lips, the seriousness fading. "Thanks, again," Sora whispered as he arose to his feet with the assistance of Cloud. Cloud smirked and ruffled Sora's hair playfully.

"Yeah well, thanks yourself," Cloud remarked and then closed his suitcase. "I'm going to take a shower and go straight to unpacking. If you need any help, just call," Cloud informed Sora, nodding his head.

"All right," Sora answered and grabbed his own things, headed towards his room.

And the day was just going to get more complicated.

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Sora had just entered his room when he heard a knock at the front door. Curiously, Sora dropped his suitcase onto the floor and made his way through the apartment. Apparently Cloud hadn't heard the door over the roaring of the shower. The brunet sighed and went to answer the door, hands clasped behind his head. Once at the door, Sora opened it with a yawn, wanting nothing more than to unpack and go to sleep. It had been a long day, after all.

Sora froze when his eyes made contact with piercing aquamarine. "R-riku?" Sora asked nervously, staring at his 'boyfriend'.

Riku blinked in surprise, not having really expected to see _Sora_ answer the door. Riku cautiously forced a smile and leaned his hand against the archway. "Hey, Sora," Riku said softly, something painful in his eyes. "Can I come in?" Sora blushed a shade of red and silently nodded. Riku entered and watched as Sora closed the door behind him. "Listen, Sora…"

"Riku I-" Sora began and then literally threw himself against Riku's chest, weaving his arms around the silveret's body. The brunet nuzzled his head against Riku's chest and whimpered. "I should have never asked you that. I'm sorry…"

"Listen, I'm sorry for exploding like that. It's just…" Riku trailed off and then realized that Sora was in his arms. A light smile crept onto his lips as he hugged Sora tightly, fingers weaving through Sora's brown hair. "Would you call me a sap if I said I sort of missed you?"

Sora laughed quietly at this. "So… would you consider that our first fight?" Sora wondered, glancing up wearily to stare at his boyfriend with nervous eyes. "Or are we over?… Do you want us to be over?"

"Over? So soon? Never," Riku stated sternly, sliding his hand between their bodies. Moments later, his hand rose to cup Sora's cheek, lightly tilting the brunet's face up so their eyes could meet again. "Everyone has fights, don't worry about it."

"Riku," Sora sighed contently, smiling up at Riku. "Thanks for um… being understanding?"

"Thanks for holding earlier against me," Riku retorted and then leaned closer, brushing his lips against Sora's forehead. Riku was all but pleased when he felt the brunet shiver in his grasps, pressing closer to his body for warmth and reassurance.

"Wanna…uhm, go to my room? Cloud's… in the shower and he won't be out for awhile and-" Sora said quietly and then was silenced when a pair of warm and inviting lips covered his own. Sora immediately squeaked into the kiss. Seconds later, Riku tangled their hands together and began leading them down the hallway, Sora somewhat guiding them to what room was his.

After a few moments, they entered Sora's room and Riku promptly closed the door behind him, groping around with his right hand so that he could lock it behind him. Sora purred softly into the kiss, allowing Riku to hungrily nip his lips.

"Riku," Sora sighed contently into the kiss, arching when he felt Riku's hands traveling along his back, memorizing every single groove on his back. A soft moan produced from Sora's lips when he felt those skillful hands rubbing at the small of his back.

"Kind of dangerous, huh?" Riku wondered, lightly edging their bodies over to amore suiting position on the bed. "Making out when Cloud is home," Riku hummed against their lips as he shifted a bit, allowing Sora to move into a somewhat sitting position onto the bed behind them.

"'ku," Sora hummed, lightly dragging Riku onto the bed beside him, glad to know that he hadn't lost his first boyfriend. He was downright _glad_ to know that Riku wasn't leaving him.

"Sora," Riku answered, quite needy, arms maneuvering Sora's body so that he was pinning the brunet beneath him onto the bed. Sora stared up at Riku, wide-eyed, questions floating about in them. "Ssh," Riku breathed, trailing his lips from Sora's, down to the brunet's neck to gingerly suck, nip, and lick at the tanned area.

"Riku!" Sora murmured, his breath hitching as he arched his neck in offering.

"I mis-" Riku began but silenced himself when he heard a door close and footsteps approach. Riku paled and loosened his grip on Sora's arms. "…I thought you said he wouldn't be done for awhile," Riku whispered harshly, staring down at his dark-red boyfriend with a stunned expression.

"I-" Sora began, but his heart sank when he heard Cloud's voice waft through the air, calling his name.

"Well, isn't this… awkward," Riku grumbled and pushed his body off Sora's and into a standing position. "I'll just go out there and say that you let me in and went back to unpacking," Riku suggested, fixing his clothes so that they looked acceptable.

"Mmkay," Sora purred, grabbing his pillow and promptly hugging it. Blue eyes watched Riku in amusement. "Just be careful, k?"

"Sure thing," Riku said and exited the room, off to find Cloud.

Sora sighed peacefully and nuzzled the pillow. Without a worry in the world, Sora jumped off the bed and headed towards his suitcase. Easily, Sora removed the notebook from the suitcase and fingered the binding with a soft smile. _Maybe I should just give this back to Riku now. No more secrets. No more things like that. We'll have an honest relationship and I won't worry about what he feels about anyone but me… yeah, that'll be nice…_

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

"Sora didn't cause you too much trouble, right?"

Cloud took a seat on the couch beside Riku, towel-drying his hair as he wore a damp grey shirt and a pair of sweatpants. Usually the blond would wear something more fitting for company, but Riku had stopped by out of nowhere, so this was really a rare occasion. The blond surveyed his friend, thankful that Riku had looked after Sora in his absence. Incredibly glad, actually.

"Nah," Riku replied honestly, suppressing the need to softly blush. Something caused Riku to pause and glance at Cloud a bit more curiously. Was that…depression? Was that sadness? Was it? "Cloud, something wrong?"

Cloud cleared his throat and shook his head. "Nah, everything's fine," Cloud responded.

"Bullshit," Riku snorted and narrowed his eyes at his friend. "Tell me or I will be forced to beat it out of you, right now and here. It's the least you can do is tell me after I looked after Sora and all, eh?"

Cloud rolled his eyes and shook his head. "It's about Leon."

"Figures, boyfriend problems," Riku taunted and then leaned his palm into his chin. "What's up?"

"We broke up," Cloud stated bluntly.

Riku's eyes widened to triple their size. He doubled back on the couch and blinked thrice. "You guys broke up? Are you serious? You were in love with that guy!"

"It wasn't working. I didn't see him enough," Cloud answered and shrugged his shoulders.

"So you ended it because of that?" Riku wondered, staring at his best friend curiously.

"I see you more than I see him," Cloud admitted and then froze when he felt Riku's intense gaze upon him. "…What's with the look? You don't believe me?" A sigh. "Pathetic, huh?… I gave up the chance to date the only person who I actually ever saw enough to consider a boyfriend. Amusing, isn't it?"

Riku stiffened and eyed Cloud. "Don't bring that-"

"…And maybe I regret it," Cloud admitted, his voice falling to a whisper. "Perhaps I regret throwing away the chance to be with someone who truly did love me, you know? I mean, I know Leon did and it just didn't work. But with-" Cloud began.

"Cloud," Riku warned, watching his friend.

"I mean, you even offered to watch my _brother_ for a month. That's true friendship. Something that a relationship needs. God, I'm such a pompous moron, aren't I?" Cloud said with a shrug, holding his head in frustration.

"Cloud, you're not an idiot. You're just-" Riku began but froze when he felt a hand on his cheek. "What are you?…" Riku said nervously, flinching when he felt those cold blue eyes setting upon his own aquamarine, making him weak.

"I'm falling apart, Riku," Cloud admitted in a whisper, incredibly close. "I feel like I'm losing control of my life. No matter what I do I ruin my relationships, I feel like I'm losing Sora…and I barely have a job. My life is falling apart," Cloud whispered, his breath hitching. "And you're the only thing that's stayed the same, so please excuse me for wanting to hold onto that."

Riku, any other time, would have lunged at the heartfelt words but the beautiful brunet in the other room tugged at his heart. "Listen, Cloud, I'm flattered and-"

"I really had no right to turn you down like that. I'm sorry," Cloud apologized and before Riku had time to protest, Cloud had leaned forward and captured Riku's lips into a searing kiss that brought back every single detail of that one night they shared together. The core of Riku melted and turned into a fiery, sloppy mess. Riku leaned into the kiss, his mind turning off as his thoughts ceased.

Cloud shifted into the kiss, his hands slipping into Riku's silvery hair as he moved to deepen the kiss, brushing his tongue along the familiar curves of Riku's lips. Riku gasped in a dull surprise, lips parting at once. And it was amazing how he could so easily submit to the older and dominant the younger and-

Cloud suddenly broke the kiss, as if he had been shot. Blue eyes widened in shock as he looked off to the right, scorching a dark red. "Hi, Sora…" Cloud said timidly, embarrassed that his brother had caught the pair kissing.

Sora trembled as Riku swiveled his head around, their eyes meeting from across the room. Sora blinked in obvious hurt and took off towards his room, running faster than he ever believed he could, tears about to pour from his eyes.

"Fuck! Sora!" Riku said and pushed away from Cloud, off the couch (almost tripping) and down the hallway towards Sora's room.

"Sora, Sora wait," Riku said quickly, sticking his foot in between the door before Sora could slam it shut. Riku's flustered eyes met Sora's and he winced when he realized he was the reason for those tears streaming from Sora's beautiful face. "Sora, I didn't-"

"Is _that_ why you wouldn't admit I wasn't a replacement?!" Sora shouted, trying to close the door but couldn't due to Riku's obtrusive foot. "I hate you, Riku! Just leave already! I can't believe you!" Sora hollered, not even really aware of what he was shouting at this moment. All that he knew was that he was shouting and it felt so good and yet so damn horrible.

"Sora, I didn't! Cloud didn't!" Riku attempted, trying to reach his hand through to grab Sora's hand to calm the brunet down. However, all he got was a book thrown in his face and then a door slammed shut.

Riku growled when he realized that his foot had been jammed. Riku growled and kicked the door, grabbing the book that he had been thrown at him. "That's _really_ mature, Sora!" Riku shouted irritably and headed towards the living room where a confused Cloud stood.

"I didn't think it'd upset him that much," Cloud said nervously, blinking in surprise at how drastically Riku and Sora had reacted to the kiss.

"Fuck it," Riku hissed, making his way to the front door. "Sora's never going to speak to me again," Riku rambled in anger as he exited the apartment, slamming the door shut behind him, not even sparing a glance to his _own_ notebook in his grasps.

What had Cloud done?….


	14. minus one day

This chapter practically wrote itself. I'm so glad, too! There's a lot of emotions in this chapter as well. Angst, love, and all that good stuff. And Leon actually has a big part in this one, to which I was extremely excited over! I hope you all enjoy this chapter and review. I'd love if you did both. I'd be one happy author. Anyhow, onto chapter fourteen! (by the way, is anyone else taking part in National Novel Writing Month? I sure am.)

* * *

**By Chance**

Right now, _nothing_ made sense to Sora. Riku had come here, in the _rain_, to apologize to him for yelling and then Sora had found him _making out_ with his _older brother_. With _Cloud_. With his ex-love! Sora banged his head forcefully against his pillow as his limp body crashed onto his bed. Sora had earlier locked his door once he had slammed it in Riku's face. Locking it seemed like the best idea. Right now, Sora really didn't want to see neither Riku nor his older brother. All Sora wanted was some time to think and some _alone time_. And that's exactly what Sora was going to do, even if he had to _fight_ for that time.

Sora sighed miserably as he nuzzled his right cheek against the soft pillow. Small streams of tears leaked from his eyes as he struggled to bat away the image of Riku and Cloud. Riku wasn't struggling- not from what Sora saw. Riku was _returning_ the kiss. Riku was _leaning into it_, and Sora was certain that if Cloud hadn't spotted him, they would have ended up on the floor or in the bedroom. Sora shivered and nearly gagged at the idea of his boyfriend with his _brother_. This was so wrong.

So many things had happened today. First, Riku had hollered at Sora for claiming that he was replacement. Second, Sora had moved back in with Cloud. Third, Riku had apologized and Sora blindly was courted, yet again. Fourth, Cloud and Riku had been caught, by _him_, kissing on the _couch_. And fifth, oh good god, Sora had thrown Riku's notebook at him!

The realization dawned on Sora at once. The brunet hadn't even _thought_ at the time what he was doing! His plan was to gently give it back to Riku in-between a kiss and apologize for not returning it sooner. Then he would continue kissing his boyfriend, secretly.

But nothing seemed to be going his way today. Sora sighed in utter defeat, punching his pillow seconds afterwards. Why was life so confusing? Why wasn't there a handbook for it? Sora shook his head in dismay, thoughts pouring back into his mind. Did this mean that he and Riku were over? Did kissing Cloud count as cheating? Did Riku _hate_ him? What was Riku going to say about the _notebook_?

"Can today get any worse?" Sora asked in a strained voice. His eyes closed as he hugged the pillow tight to his body, trying to get a nap in. Perhaps sleep would do him some good? Clear his mind, perhaps?

But really…could sleep wipe away that horrible image of Riku with Cloud?… And the sad thing was, Riku looked happier kissing Cloud than he ever did kissing _him_.

**x**xxxxx**x**xxxxx**x**

It was hard to compare both of the brother's kisses. Cloud's were always so erotic, so lusty, so searing… it always left him breathless and craving _more_. More touch, more contact, more lips on skin. But Sora's were different. Sora's kisses were soft, gentle, teasing at times, even. They were always tempting, and oddly sweet. Without the brunet's sweet smile accompanied by a shy kiss, Riku felt rather….empty. And the feeling was so foreign. The brothers were complete opposites, and Riku was having s hard time disfurnishing what kind of person he _wanted_.

Riku groaned in slight despair as he leaned his tired body against the door to his bedroom. Without Sora here, everything felt so quiet and rather desolate. Without Sora, it didn't even feel like his home anymore. Had Riku become _that_ accustomed to their earlier living arrangements? Riku shrugged away the thought as he rose a hand to rub his temples.

"Why would Cloud _do_ that," Riku murmured to himself.

The kiss, Riku knew, probably just tore Sora _apart. _Especially seeing that Riku never _did_ give a clear answer as to whether or not Sora was a replacement. Riku knew, in his heart, that Sora wasn't a replacement at all. In his heart, he knew that he was attracted to the brunet and desired nothing more than a healthy relationship where he continued to learn more about the captivating boy. But things were just not playing into his favor.

"Sora's probably going to break up with me over that," Riku decided pessimistically. The silveret sighed heavily as he entered his bedroom, leaving the door wide open. Without Sora here, what was the point of even shutting his door?

Riku paused, eyes flickering down to the item in his clutches. He hadn't realized, or remembered, that he had been carrying a book with him up until now. No… that wasn't Sora's diary, it was… his notebook? Sudden understanding spread through Riku instantly. Sora had his notebook all along?! Fear washed over him as cold sweat covered his body, clinging to his pale skin all over. Sora had his _notebook_. His sexually explicit _notebook_. All along. Ever since they-… and then Riku, somehow, understood entirely.

The subway… the boy next to him and Naminé…

Riku faintly sat down on the bed and flipped open the notebook. Weakly, the teen thumbed through the contents. "I can't believe that he read this stuff," Riku muttered, a sickening feeling covering his soul. "Every single bit."

Perhaps the story regarding Cloud and himself was really what threw the red card into the mix. "I completely fucked up this relationship," Riku laughed pathetically. The silver haired youth lowered his gaze to the notebook to the last entry. "I'm sorry, Sora…"

Riku halted his skimming over the last written page when he realized something was on the page behind it. Curiously, Riku fully flipped the page over and glanced at the sloppy handwriting that he immediately economized. Sora's handwriting?…

_Riku,_

_I figured I'd give this back to you… I'm sorry I kept it so long! I just… really liked it! I mean, the way you write all in all! Not just because it was about…yeah… Uhm, I'm sorry, again, for not giving it back right away, but when I first met you I didn't really know it was yours. Then I went to see your mom (the old address in this) and she told me your cell number and I realized it was you… And yeah… I'm real sorry. But yeah, I'm glad I'm finally giving it back to you and I'm glad that we're together._

_Love Sora_

Riku's heart clenched as he ran his thumb along the pen-written words scribbled across the page. "Sora…" Riku murmured and placed the notebook back onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling. "What did I just mess up?… Fuck you, Cloud…"

And he just realized that he had ruined the only good thing that had come into his life for the first time in awhile.

**x**xxxxx**x**xxxxx**x**

Cloud had gone off to work at precisely two pm. The two brothers didn't really talk that morning. Sora remained locked up in his bedroom, his mind heavy with guilt, worry, and disgust. No matter what he did, he couldn't push away the thought of how wrong things were going. Cloud and Leon were over. Riku and he were dangling on the edge of disaster. Sora needed to put a stop to these hectic things and jumpstart everything back into a neat order. Sora needed to restore normalcy. _Their_ kind of normalcy. And that was why the brunet invited the ever wise Leon over.

"Sora, I wasn't expecting you to call," Leon said, honest surprise glimmering in his eyes as he took a seat in the chair across from Sora. Their eyes met and Leon, at once, knew something drastically wrong was about.

"I wanted to talk to you," Sora explained.

"Regarding?" asked Leon, lacing his hands uneasily in his lap as he stared encouragingly at the younger brunet.

"A few things, actually," Sora admitted. The brunet shifted his gaze once again, unable to look at Leon, knowing that the older would probably feel uncomfortable, just like he. Sora lowered his gaze and cleared his throat before beginning. "Cloud and…Riku," he whispered into the stale air.

"Cloud and I have already come to an understanding, Sora. We've agreed that it's not fair for either of us if-" Leon began rationally. The brunet was instantly cut off by a somewhat furious and fractious Sora.

"He _loves_ you, Leon! He's crazy about you!" Sora declared loudly. Desperation seeped from Sora's voice and he had no idea why. Was it because he wanted Cloud to be happy and therefore be with the man he loved? Or was it because he wanted Riku back and if Cloud was with Leon, there would no longer be that temptation? Sora shivered at the very thought. How could he possibly even _begin_ to forgive Riku for what he did?

"If he had a problem with us breaking up, he would have told me," Leon reasoned, shaking his head in dismay. "Cloud's a judicious person. He can speak for himself and if he had something to say he would have said it."

"He didn't say anything because he thought that's what you wanted! For it to be over!" Sora rationalized, his voice weak and frail. Leon took note of this at once.

"You said this involve Cloud _and_ Riku. Where does Riku fit into this?" Leon wondered calmly, lacing his hands together in his lap once more. Stoic eyes set upon Sora's form once again, silently gesturing the brunet to explain.

"Leon, I…" Sora trailed off and chewed his bottom lip. "It's nothing," he lied.

"Sora, I've known you and Cloud for months now, years even. I've always listened to you before, so why would this time be any different? Just tell me what's wrong. What happened?" Leon pried, his tranquil eyes staring at the disconcerted brunet with concern.

"Leon," Sora began again, sighing. "Please don't tell Cloud," he quietly begged.

Leon's eyebrows instinctively arched. "All right," he promised, gesturing with his other hand for the brunet teenager to continue.

"Riku and I… When Cloud left with you to Bermuda, I had to stay with Riku, right? Well… somehow, we sort of started dating. It doesn't even make sense to me. We just all of a sudden kissed and stuff and yeah… and Riku still likes Cloud… I can tell from the way he talks about him. And I just don't know what to do," Sora admitted, tears prickling his eyes. Sora denied the tears the privilege to fall. Not in front of Leon. Not in front of anyone. _Big boys don't cry, Sora._

"Are the two of you still dating?" Leon asked, his head tilting to the side.

"I…think," Sora murmured.

"You think?" Leon echoed, his eyebrows furrowing.

"Riku…did something stupid," Sora explained vaguely. The last thing Sora needed was Leon angry at Cloud for kissing Riku out of nowhere. Right after they broke up. "And I'm not sure if we're still dating," Sora concluded, sighing heavily.

"Did he ever tell you that he wanted to break up?" Leon questioned.

"No," Sora answered quietly, eyes shifting down to the ground in shame.

"So the decision is in your hands, correct?" Leon asked, hoping to clarify.

"That's right," Sora said and then cleared his throat. "Leon, listen… I don't know if I can trust Riku, and I hate saying that out loud. I'm so worried that somebody I'm not going to be enough for him and he's going to turn to someone else. I'm terrified that he's going to break my heart if I let him get close, you know? He's my first boyfriend and I just don't know what to do."

"Do you love him?" Leon asked. "Honestly. Do you love him?"

"Too early to tell," answered Sora, honesty leaking from his voice. "I do like him. I like him a lot. He," Sora blushed, "gives me Goosebumps, I suppose. It feels good to be with him. Is that normal?" Sora whispered, desperately trying to seek guidance.

"Of course it is," Leon answered coolly. "If you're attracted to someone, you're supposed to feel good around them. It's only natural."

"Oh," Sora drawled, blinking. "That's good," he breathed in relief. "I figured you were supposed to, it's just I didn't know if I wasn't feeling something or yeah…"

"Cloud's never explained love to you, I assume?" Leon guessed, chuckling softly under his breath. His answer came when Sora briefly nodded, looking quite saddened at the prospect. "Well, I'm not going to bother you with the gritty details. All I'll say is that when you're in love, you'll know. You can tell. As for what you should do regarding Riku… it's entirely up to you. Whatever he did, is it worth ending it over?"

"I…" Sora began and then stopped, his hands clenching tightly by his sides. "I don't know."

"You're young," Leon pointed out, a fragile smile forming on his lips. "You're young and in your first relationship. You're not expected to fall in love and stay with that person forever. Relationships are a learning process for when you do fall in love."

Sora nodded hesitantly, absorbing every single word the older brunet told him. "But what if we _really_ like that person and don't want the relationship to end?" Sora wondered, his breath catching in the base of his throat.

"You'll know what's right," Leon explained and offered another rare smile at Sora. "Like I knew that breaking up with Cloud was right."

"Do you love him?" Sora asked, tossing the same question back at Leon that the older had asked the younger. Sora eagerly awaited an answer, curious blue eyes staring solely upon the brunet.

"Love's a fickle thing," Leon murmured and rolled his shoulders into a shrug. "I might."

"Isn't love supposed to conquer all?" Sora wondered, tilting his head to the side.

'You have a lot to learn, Sora," Leon chuckled and proceeded to enlighten Sora.

**x**xxxxx**x**xxxxx**x**

"Please, men…" Naminé cautiously interjected between the heated glares that were flying back and forth across the table. Blue eyes met fierce aquamarine. Naminé's own, lighter blue eyes stared worriedly between the two males, uncertain what to think or even what to say. The only thing that separated these two from one another was that flimsy table. And a few drinks, of course.

"Do you realize what you _did_?" Riku demanded, ferociously narrowing his eyes at his 'friend'. Usually expressionless sea-green hues were now frilled to the brim with anger, about to burst.

"Kiss you?" Cloud lamely responded.

By now Riku had gone from beyond anger to _fury_. Not only had Cloud _kissed him_, of all things, but he had just _ruined_ his chances with Sora. Who would want to date someone who you just saw kissing your older brother? How much of a turn-off was that? Riku groaned at the very idea as he snapped, "Out of nowhere!" Even though Riku dumbly kissed back…

"Next time I'll give you a warning," scoffed Cloud, not a bit amused. A moment of unappreciated silence filled the room. "Listen, Riku… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to come on so heavily. My emotions are a mess lately because of Leon. I didn't think about what the consequences would be. You should know me better than this," Cloud explained wearily.

"You _know_ what happened between us!" Riku fumed, his clenched fists slamming onto the table. And it was apparent that, perhaps, Riku had more of a temper than Sora. "You know what you _did_ to me!"

"Riku, I didn't mean to bring-" Cloud attempted but was cut short.

"You knew full well what you were doing!" Riku retorted. "You just went through a _breakup_ and you what? Go for your best friend?"

"Riku-"

"What's worse is that _Sora_ saw!" Riku hissed in vengeance. "Of all people, _Sora_. Didn't you realize what you were _doing_? How could you be so-"

"Stop it, both of you," Naminé interjected, yet again. Her tolerance to these two had finally ended. "Listen, you both are acting like you just want to forget whatever happened, and I agree. Just forget it and move on. There's no need to yell at each other for countless hours. And…" she tried to reason but was also cut short.

"He just _ruined_ my relationship with Sora and you want me to _remain_ calm?" Riku asked, his breaths quick and shallow. Silence, once again, ruled.

"What?..." Cloud questioned with utter confusion. The blond stared at his friend with bewilderment. "Your relationship?" he repeated carefully. Those usually stoic eyes suddenly seemed to team with unreadable emotions.

Riku stared back at Cloud for a elongated moment. Sudden dread swarmed through Riku's body, making his form numb to the core. _Cloud knows… Cloud knows that Sora and I were together. Great. What else can I possibly screw up today?_ Riku thought in disdain. Guardedly, Riku cleared his throat. "Does that bother you?" he posed, eyes shimmering with undeniable _fear_, to be frank.

"You were dating my brother?" Cloud drawled; his tone indecipherable. "You and Sora were together?" he restated, changing the words around a bit, as if he was grappling to understand. After a few minutes, Cloud's face paled and he emitted a few incoherent sounds.

"Yes!" Riku declared, getting irritated. "_Yes_, Sora and I dated! _Yes_, I made out with your brother. _Yes,_ I like him. And _yes_, we _were_ dating when you-" Riku hollered and only silenced himself when he realized that wandering pairs of eyes had turned to stare at their table. Riku lowered his gaze, mumbling curses under his breath. He was beyond annoyed at the moment. Beyond enraged.

"You had no right-" Cloud began, narrowing his eyes at his friend.

"Just because he's your _brother_?" Riku demanded, ignoring the warnings that Naminé was throwing his way. "I was happy with him, _thank you_."

"Are you that desperate to replace me that you-"

"Everything has to be about you, doesn't it? It all comes back to you-"

"How could you take advantage of _Sora_. My _brother_. You are complete _opposites_. Sora's not even-"

"Like you would-"

"Men!" Naminé shouted, again. Her eyes gleamed with anger. "Can we please stop arguing already? Yes Cloud, Riku dated Sora. And no Cloud, he didn't take advantage of Sora. He would have said something if Riku had. And Riku… if you really cared about Sora you would already have confronted him," Naminé ranted, her voice quiet but extremely harsh.

"And you're suggesting I what? Get up and go see him now? I couldn't agree more," Riku declared, pushing his body up into a standing position.

Cloud stiffened and jumped to his feet as well, blond locks of hair concealing his stern gaze. "He hasn't said a word to me since last night. Riku, there's no way that he's even going to want to talk to either of us," Cloud attempted, biting his bottom lip apprehensively. The last thing he needed at this moment was Riku adding to the chaos.

"And he'd hate me for not even trying to fix things," Riku retorted stubbornly and grabbed his thin jacket. The silver haired male shot Cloud an annoyed glare as he tried to make leave. However, the blond brother had stopped him, latching onto his forearm. "Cloud, let go," seethed Riku.

"Sora needs time," Cloud reasoned, his fierce blue eyes meeting Riku's.

Riku was _not_ amused. "Before you start spouting advice, maybe you should learn to help yourself," Riku rudely hissed and pushed past his friend. Cloud watched in sheer annoyance (and undoubtedly horror) as Riku left the café, pulling his jacket tight onto his body.

"Sora's not going to want to talk to him. I know Sora," Cloud murmured angrily, clenching his fists by his sides. "Why didn't they _tell_ me? I didn't _know_."

"I don't know, Cloud," Naminé answered honestly. "There's no need to beat yourself up over it, though."

Cloud sighed and leaned against the table. He shook his head. Things were _not_ going his way. First things ended with Leon and now Riku and Sora were _together_. And he had what? Ruined that as well? Wonderful. "What is _with_ Riku?..."

"Cloud, you don't need a therapist to tell you that," Naminé murmured and shivered at the intense look sent her way.

**x**xxxxx**x**xxxxx**x**

"Sora… listen, I'm sorry…"

No answer.

"Sora," Riku restated more sternly than before. "Please, Sora. Just open the door. Let me explain."

Sora remained silent, staring out his window. Blue eyes were clamped shut, refusing to let in any light or his surroundings. The tears remained in his eyes, painfully prickling his eyes. Sora whimpered to himself, hugging the pillow tightly to his chest. Sure, Leon had helped calm him down and Sora was thankful for this, but still. He couldn't face Riku. Not now. Not after Riku willingly kissed Cloud multiple times. How could someone that claimed to care about you _do_ that and openly _hurt_ you? What was Riku thinking when he did that?

"Sora! God, please!" Riku begged, banging his fists against the door in a frantic fury. After a moment of pointless banging, Riku rested his forehead against the locked door. "Sora, please… I didn't…" What could he possibly say? He _enjoyed_ that kiss. Truly, he did. But he wasn't expecting it and he hadn't meant to _hurt_ Sora. It just… happened.

"Sora, please. Just say something. Anything," Riku demanded. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, _I'm sorry_. How many times do you want me to tell you that? Cloud kissed me, all right? He had no idea that we were together. He was confused. God Sora, just open this damn door."

Sora refused. The brunet curled up further on his bed, making no attempts to stand up and let his boyfriend in. All Sora wanted was some time alone and away from Riku. Perhaps he'd invite Tidus over the next day and try to forget about Riku. All Sora knew was that he wasn't going to forgive his boyfriend for adultery. No. Sora wasn't that forgiving.

"Sora," Riku seethed, punching the door as he turned his back on it. Exhaling sharply, Riku made his way into the living room, in search of the skeleton key that would open the bedroom door. Now where was the stupid thing?

Sora remained silent in his room, gently bumping his head repeatedly against the windowsill. Sora's chest rose and deflated heavily, as if it were painful to breathe. Why didn't Riku just give up? It was obvious that Sora had no intentions of mending things or speaking to him. So why did Riku stay? He was just making it more painful for the pair of them.

Sora's head jerked up when he heard metal clinking. Was that... Alarmed, Sora watched in shock as the door opened. What? Key? There was a _key_ for his_room?_ Anger swelled inside of Sora as he at once tore his gaze away from the opening door. All right, so Riku was in the room, okay. But that didn't mean Sora had to acknowledge him.

"Sora," Riku murmured, closing the door behind him with a gentle thud. "Please, say something to me," Riku requested, making his way slowly over to the brunet.

Sora ignored the older, gaze set on the outside world.

"I'm _sorry_. Sora-"

Riku reached out to touch Sora, but his hand was slapped away. Riku winced and instinctively narrowed his eyes at Sora's ignorance. Dogmatically, Riku reached out again, in attempts to yank Sora into a standing position, but his hand was slapped away for a second time. "Don't touch me," Sora deadpanned- his voice harsh and _broken_.

"Sora, stop acting like a two year old," Riku scolded, reaching out with both hands. Riku firmly grabbed Sora's shoulders and pulled the brunet to the corner of the bed. Sora's hazy blue eyes stared up angrily into sea-green eyes.

"Riku," Sora growled under his breath.

"I didn't mean to hurt you, okay?" Riku informed Sora, leaning in to gently kiss the brunet. His lips were a fraction away from Sora's, his eyes lidded halfway, when he felt something _hard_ against his cheek. At first it just felt warm and hard, and then it _stung_. And it took Riku a few moments to realize that Sora had just _punched_ him, and for someone as small as Sora, boy did he pack a punch.

Riku doubled back, arms flying off the brunet as he literally fell down. Riku had _not_ been expecting that. What he _had_ been expecting was Sora to return the kiss, or even initiate it. He was expecting them to make up and then make _out_. Sora _punching_ him came as a _huge_ surprise. A very bad one, at that.

"What the _fuck_ Sora?!" Riku demanded, his hand rising to feverishly rub the spot where Sora's fist had made contact.

"I told you not to touch me!" Sora snapped, glaring down at Riku with fire burning in his eyes. "Leave me _alone_. I don't want to even _talk_ to you right now! I _know_ that I won't ever be enough for you or matter as much as Cloud did, I _understand_. So just leave me _alone_!" Tears prickled in Sora's eyes, visible to only Riku.

"Sora, I-" Riku attempted, his anger melting as stun sank in.

"Just go home, Riku." Sora's voice fell to a whisper. Cloudy blue eyes flickered downward, staring at this bed. "Go home. I never want to see you again."

The words hurt. No other lover had _ever_ taken Riku's hand and then given it back. An odd feeling of heartache entered Riku's body as he sat there on the floor, staring at the brunet. "So we're over, just like that? One kiss and you _hate_ me?"

"You hurt me," Sora hissed and looked away angrily. "Just leave."

"I'm going to fix this," Riku promised in an angry tone as he got to his feet. "I'm going to fix this and I'm going to make you forgive me. You'll see. I'm not giving up just like that." Stubbornly, Riku shot Sora an indescribable look and headed out the door, closing it behind him in an audible slam.

Never before had Sora felt so damn _alone_.

**x**xxxxx**x**xxxxx**x**

"…I don't think this is a good idea. I never did, Leon," Cloud murmured, his eyes shifting off to the side, staring out the window of the café. Cloud _knew_ that returning home was out of the question. For now, at least. Riku had stormed off in search of Sora, and heading back home and getting in the middle of the two would just add more drama to the pot. So, instead, Cloud called up Leon and requested to see him. At the time, it seemed like a good idea…

"You should have told me," Leon answered calmly, his eyes suddenly expressive as he looked across the table to the blond. "If you thought that it was a bad idea, you should have told me. I thought that you wanted to break up and that it'd be better," he reasoned.

"I didn't want to interfere with your work," Cloud answered with a shrug. "I know that your career is important to you, and I respect that. I didn't want to get into the middle of it."

"Did you ever consider that I valued what you thought?" Leon asked, cocking his head to the side. "I wanted to be fair to you, Cloud. I rarely get to see you. I thought that perhaps that wasn't enough for you. I was giving you the chance to find someone more reliable for you. Someone who would be able to spend more time with you," Leon declared.

"I never wanted to be away from you," Cloud informed Leon, blue eyes sparkling over at the tall brunet.

"I didn't want to break up with you. I just thought it was a good idea," Leon murmured in explanation. "If you want to get back together, just say so."

"God, more than anything," Cloud admitted, his cheeks turning a barely noticeable shade of color. "I think I love you, is that all right?"

Leon edged on the smallest of smiles. "Really?"

"Yeah," Cloud confirmed, shakily nodding his head.

"I think I can live with that," he said, a warm expression appearing on his face. "I missed you, Cloud," Leon whispered, extending his hand across the table to interlace their fingers together on the top.

"Missed you too," Cloud echoed, a smile on his face as well.

* * *

there yeah have it , folks. Review, please? 


	15. minus two days

All right. This chapter is more so an 'emotional progression' one. The next will mostly be entirely plot-building, tying in those loose ends that have been dangling about for awhile. I rewrote the ending to this chapter a few times until I figured it was sufficient. Hopefully you will agree that the way I ended it is best for the story. As for how much more this story will be? I'm thinking six chapter? Around there? Perhaps more. Depending on how fast the other parts of the plot get resolved. Trust me, at the end, there will be no loose ends. Now, onto the chapter (sorry that it's a bit short. The next won't be. _Promise_) also, kudos to my lovely jean ;D she knows why. herherher

* * *

By Chance

The blond male rested his fists against the door, breathing in and out rapidly. Eyes lidded carefully, as if to block out the painful site of the closed door. God. Cloud had just broken his brother's trust. How was Cloud to know that Sora was dating /Riku/, of all people? With a perplexed sigh, the blond rapped his hand against the door once more. This was going to be a /long/ day.

"Sora!" he shouted, his voice muffled by the door. "Open up!" Cloud rapped his fist against the door once, twice. Sora mumbled something, but he didn't answer the door. Instead, he just sat in his bed, bundled up in his blanket, staring out the window. "Sora, if you don't come out of there right /now/ and open this door, you'll /really/ regret it once I get in."

Sora mumbled a slurred sentence under his breath as he hugged the blankets tighter. Sure, his conversation with Leon regarding love and Riku had helped, but seeing Riku had just made everything worse. What kind of person did Riku think he was? Gullible? Easily swooned? Sora cringed at the thought as he painfully stared out the window with a blank expression.

"Sora," Cloud groaned, growing irate as he leaned against the door. "At least let me talk to you!" the blond brother demanded, knocking the door for a third time.

"No.. Go away," he murmured, tears forming around the corners of his eyes once more. "I don't want to hear it..."

Cloud sighed, fully aware of his brother's stubborn streak. If he doesn't want to do it, he won't do it. He was slowly getting tired of getting patient with him and was on the verge of lashing out and kicking the door open.

"Sora, just give me one moment, please? I'm /sorry/, okay? I .. was confused," Cloud murmured, a sickening feeling forming in his stomach. How it was possible to piss both Riku and Sora off from a simple kiss was still beyond his understanding.

"So you just go ahead and kiss your best friend?" Sora demanded in a choked sob, anger seeping from his strained voice.

"S-Sora... It's not like that.. I was just overwhelmed, I guess? I didn't know what was going on between you two, I swear! Please come out," he pleaded, his voice trailing off to a hoarse and barely audible whisper near the end. He was about to knock on the door once more, but the doorknob started to rattle. The door was slightly ajar, and only a sliver of Sora's room could be seen from Cloud's side, but it was still open nonetheless. Sora peered out of the miniscule opening, his eyes meeting Cloud's pained gaze.

"So you know?" Sora asked quietly, a tinge of fear appearing in his voice as he spoke. "You know?" he repeated, holding the door barely open as his gaze shot downwards.

"I do," Cloud concurred, chewing on his bottom lip, noting how laconic Sora was. "I didn't know, Sora..." Right now he was trying to avoid the subject.

"So if he was single you wouldn't feel bad?" Sora snapped, eyes narrowing the slightest at his brother. "Didn't you even stop to think how Riku would have felt?..." Sora's fingers nearly dug into the wood of his door, feeling quite irate due to his brother's actions.

"Sora, I didn't mean to hurt you nor Riku. I made a mistake. Please try to understand that," Cloud reasoned from his placement outside the door, staring in with growing determination. "I'm trying to make things better. I talked to Leon. I tried talking to Riku. Please, Sora. I'm trying to fix this."

"You talked to Leon?" Sora repeated, his eyebrows arching. After a moment, a sigh of relief passed through the brunet. However, that feeling was short-lived for his eyes instantly widened. "What did you two talk about?" Sora inquired, chewing his bottom lip with growing anxiety.

"We talked about us," Cloud sighed and leaned his forehead against the threshold, eyes staring at Sora. "We talked through our problems and got back together." His eyes cast themselves directly upon his younger brother, as if to silently suggest something.

"That's good," Sora breathed and offered the smallest of smiles through the crack. "Leon _really_ cares about you. I'm glad you guys worked it out," Sora said and then briefly nodded, his hand barely holding the door.

"It is," Cloud concurred and strummed his fingers against the doorframe. "It's awfully mature for two people to talk through their problems," he explained and vigilantly displayed a meek smile at his younger brother. "So, are you up for doing the same? Right now? Me and you?" he asked, quite hopefully.

Sora exhaled noisily and then shook his head. "Fine," he said before opening the door fully and gesturing his older blond brother into his bedroom.

Cloud graciously did such and entered the desolate bedroom. The taller blond male glanced around the spotless room. Sora had never been one to clean his bedroom and to see the room in such an organized state was a shock. Cloud temporarily ignored this and took a seat at Sora's computer chair as the brunet took up residency on his neatly made bed, at once snagging the tan pillow from the top. Their blue eyes met and silence shrouded the pair.

"I wasn't expecting you and Riku to get together," Cloud divulged, his eyes stating what he could not. "I didn't think that you'd fall for someone like him."

"I didn't either," Sora admitted and shifted uncomfortably on his bed. "It was weird." Sora apprehensively laughed and solemnly looked downward, tears forming in his eyes. "He's such a jerk…"

"I kissed him," Cloud pointed out, a frown forming on his lips. "If I had known that you were together, I wouldn't have."

"He kissed you back!" Sora snapped and shook his head back and forth. "He could have pushed you away! If he cared about me he wouldn't have kissed you back!" Sora looked downward. The brunet's fists clenched tightly in his lap as his body went through several rounds of tremors. "He could have pushed you away," he whimpered in conclusion.

"There's no point in crying over spilt milk," Cloud said as he bit his bottom lip, a bit uncertain as to what he could do to cheer his sullen brother up.

"You're starting to sound like Leon," Sora laughed, despite his anguish.

"I suppose that's what I get for dating him," Cloud answered and perused his brother's expression. "Riku regrets what he did, Sora. I want you to know that he still cares-"

"But he _kissed you_ back, Cloud! How can I possibly forgive him for that?!" Sora demanded, at once turning flustered. Tears bristled in the corner of his eyes, about to spill from the brim. "He doesn't deserve to!—"

"He deserves the chance to explain things to you," Cloud corrected. The blond stared sternly at his younger brother, his eyes boring holes into Sora's body. "Riku deserves the chance to give his side. He nearly murdered me with words yesterday. The least you can do is hear him out before you start deciding upon hate."

Sora shifted. "Last time he tried talking to me I punched him," Sora stated lamely, not an ounce ashamed at what he had done.

Cloud's gaze hardened at this statement. "You punched him?"

"Yep."

"You punched him after he mustered up the guts to come and talk to you?" Cloud asked skeptically, disbelief drenched in his usually stoic voice. "Sora, you know that punching him didn't solve anything, right?"

"I know."

"Then why?"

"It felt good," Sora confessed and averted his gaze from his brother's. The brunet coughed a bit and stared up at the ceiling. It wasn't really shame but more so embarrassment that flickered in the younger's eyes. Cloud had made a promise to him not to resort to physical violence as a way to solve a problem and here they were.

"Sora, you know that isn't the best way to solve your problems with Riku," Cloud reasoned and shook his head in incredulity. "I doubt Riku is going to even want to try and fix things now."

"Then he obviously doesn't care about me," Sora retorted stubbornly, folding his arms to his chest once more. "If he doesn't talk to me than he doesn't care," Sora murmured dogmatically.

"No, Sora. You're the one who obviously doesn't care about what you have with Riku. Listen, I never _once_ said that it wasn't okay for you two to be together. Sure, it's a bit _weird_ and _bizarre_, and I'm pissed at Riku for not telling me and instead hiding it, but I'm not mad at _you_."

"Riku kept making a huge deal about not telling you!" Sora complained, refusing to meet his brother's stern gaze.

"Sora… we're brothers. You and Leon are all I have. Sora, I'm not going to disown you for wanting to date my best friend. You should know me better than that," Cloud rationalized.

The blond stood up and made his way over to his brother. Once there, he extended a hand and cautiously brushed it through Sora's brown locks. Sora's gaze lifted slowly, meeting Cloud's softening one. After a moment, a mirrored smile appeared on both their faces.

"I don't know how to fix this," Sora whispered painfully, staring up at his brother hopefully. "I can't forgive him… not this easily. I…"

"I know," Cloud answered in an equally quiet whisper. "I understand why. If you truly want to know if Riku cares about you then make him fight for you back. If he really cares he will," Cloud said softly. "As long as he knows there's still hope, that is…"

"I…" Sora looked down and stared at the floor.

"Is there still hope?" Cloud wondered.

"I…don't know."

**x**xx**x**xxx**xx**xxx**x**x**xx**

"_Whoah_. You kissed another _guy_? _Cloud_? The _Cloudinator?_ Dude, you just fucked yourself."

Riku visibly cringed and turned to desperately look at the silent blond. "Roxas, please. Give me a little more helpful words than Axel," Riku requested, nearly begging. The silver haired male stared urgently at the blond that sat across the café table, looking a bit displaced. "Roxas? Please. Somebody give me _something_ positive to go on."

"Does this relationship really matter that much? It's clear that you don't love the boy, so why are you trying so hard to fix things? Why don't you just find a rebound and make yourself happy?" Roxas suggested coldly, something different about his disposition.

Riku blanched. "_Excuse_ me?"

"You heard me," Roxas murmured, ignoring Axel's gape. "I said that it's obvious that Sora doesn't mean that much to you. Subconsciously, you know that he was just there to fill in the gap that Cloud created that you so stupidly clung to. You were using Sora to get over Cloud and now that Cloud got in the middle of things, you have no idea what to do. Now that Cloud kissed you, it ruined your plan entirely."

"That's not!—" Riku's eyes widened in frustration.

"It is," Roxas argued, rolling his eyes. "I'm your friend but this is just sickening to me, Riku. Sora told me that you were vehement about not telling Cloud about your relationship. It's apparent that you didn't want Cloud to catch on to what you were really doing. Replacing him with his younger brother. Sora didn't catch on but you knew Cloud would. Now you lost them both."

"How can you be so _fucking_ inconsiderate?!" Riku demanded. How could his _friend_ be saying such things?

"I'm just pointing things out, Riku. I'm not saying anything that isn't true," Roxas said with a glimmer of irritation in his eyes. Axel reached for Roxas' hand, idly squeezing it in attempts to 'shut him up' before he said too much.

"Uh, Roxas—" Axel began, raising a hand to warn his boyfriend but the warning went unheard.

"How _dare_ you say that Sora was a replacement," Riku seethed, eyes narrowing at the blond. "How _dare_ you insinuate that I was just _using _him. If I was _using_ him I would have _fucked him_ by now. If I was using Sora I wouldn't have respected him at all," Riku snapped irritably, beyond enraged.

"You're just angry because I'm saying the truth," Roxas sighed. "I can't believe you, Riku. And Sora, of all people… he seemed so—"

Riku, snapping, arose from his seat and threw a punch across the table, at once connecting his fist with Roxas' cheek. The blond doubled backwards, slumping against the back of the booth as his head slammed against it. A snap was heard as his neck cracked out of place for a moment. The blond cringed in pain as his arm flew up to vigorously rub the spot. Cold blue eyes stared at his friend before stating, "That's my proof."

Riku snarled and pushed his way out of the booth, not paying heed to Axel's angry curses being shot his way. All he shouted back was a slew of curses himself. The silveret fumed as he stormed out of the café, shouting something along the lines of, "I _quit_." And not just the job, but their friendship. If Roxas so _eagerly_ believed that he was _using_ Sora what kind of friend was he?

This week was just going horrible. Why did kissing Cloud all of a sudden turn everyone _against_ him? Argh. Why should he even bother?

Riku continued down the street, hands clenched inside his pockets as he walked. As if by the stroke of god, the silveret stopped a block from his house and glanced off to the small café across the street. It was more of a small Italian restaurant than anything. Regardless of what it _served_, there sat the two Kayaki brothers, having a _pleasant _lunch. Apparently Cloud had taken Sora out to have lunch. A rarity, but sweet nonetheless.

"Sora…" Riku murmured under his breath as he pointedly crossed the road, not paying any heed to the red light (there weren't any cars coming anyhow). Silently, Riku stormed over to the brunet and blond, making their way to their outside table.

"Riku?!" Sora squeaked, dropping his fork when his eyes met the aquamarine nearing him.

Cloud spun around on his seat and turned to face Riku who was quickly approaching them. In less than a minute Riku was at their table, breathing heavily as he stared down Sora. The brunet gulped and quickly averted his gaze, glancing off to the side, nervously strumming his fingers against the table.

"Riku," Cloud warned, eying his friend. "I wouldn't—"

Riku paid no heed to Cloud's warning and proceeded to snag Sora by the wrist, yanking the brunet off his seat. Sora yelped and stared in confusion as Riku began to drag him away from the table. "Riku?!" Sora yelled in confusion, trying to wiggle his arm free. No use. Riku's grip was a bit too strong.

"Riku?!" Cloud demanded as he called from his placement at the table.

Riku shot Cloud a look that told that blond to just trust him. Cloud sighed perplexedly and turned back to his meal, appetite diminishing as he allowed his brother to be dragged off by his angry ex. If things were going to get better, they were going to have to get worse first. So, Cloud figured, Riku and Sora confronting one another would be the best thing at this moment.

At least, he supposed.

**x**xx**x**xxx**xx**xxx**x**x**xx**

Riku slammed his apartment door shut and at last let go of Sora's hand. The silveret sharply turned his gaze away from Sora's, standing frozen with his back to the brunet. All that could be heard was their heavy breathing. Sora fidgeted, feeling his wrist were Riku had been nearly drilling his fingers into his skin. The brunet sighed and ran a hand through his hair, sighing loudly. Riku, after awhile, turned around and looked sternly at Sora, as if wanting nothing more than to start yelling curses. And frankly, he would have loved to do such.

"I was eating," Sora began, chewing his bottom lip uneasily. "Cloud brought me out to lunch… I was enjoying it."

The first matter Riku wanted to discuss now that he had 'kidnapped' Sora was… "You had my notebook."

Sora tensed and shivered when Riku turned around, sharp aquamarine hues staring right through him. Sora gulped and looked downward, shuffling his feet against the floor. "Yeah… I found it. I don't know how I ended up with it…I figured I'd give it back to you since it was yours and all…"

"You read _all_ of it?" Riku demanded.

"Y-yeah," Sora murmured, sheepishly looking off to the side. "Every word… it was good," Sora stated emptily, a nervous look spreading across his features. Unlike their first confrontation, Sora wasn't beyond angry at the moment. Right now, Sora was more so terrified by how angry Riku looked. His own anger seemed irrelevant.

"You punched me," Riku said heatedly.

"You kissed Cloud," Sora murmured, looking away from Riku once again.

"You didn't let me explain."

"You _cheated_ on me."

"You broke _up_ with me."

"You were using me as a _replacement!_" Sora shouted and then sharply closed his eyes, hot tears about to pour from his eyes. He wasn't blind. He _knew_ that he was just a substitute for Cloud. He _knew_ that deep down Riku still loved Cloud and that he would just be second best to his brother and for him to think that he could win Riku's heart over was childish. Not everyone had a happy ending like Leon and Cloud. Not everyone got together with their first boyfriend. Rarely ever.

Riku tensed and forcefully grabbed onto Sora's shoulders. The silver haired male yanked Sora close, forcing the brunet's eyes up to meet his own. "Don't _ever_say that you were a replacement for Cloud. Good fucking god, Sora. I don't even _care_ about Cloud anymore. Cloud doesn't love me, I get the fucking point. I get that he's moved on. I get the fact that I'm a moron and I've been living in the past for too long. I fucking _get it_. But don't you dare start claiming that I was using you. When I was dating you I was happier than I realized. So don't you start saying that I was using you," Riku seethed and lightly shook his boyfriend.

"Why do you expect me to forgive you for kissing another guy?!" Sora hissed, banging his fists against Riku's chest as Riku refused to let him go, tears streaming from the burnet's eyes. "Why, Riku?!"

"Sora. Don't cry," Riku said, his voice halting as it lowered to a whisper. His shaking became more gentle. "Please don't cry," Riku murmured, his arms sliding from Sora's shoulders to around the brunet's waist, holding him gently.

"I'm not crying over _you_," Sora stated cruelly. The brunet snapped his head to the right, refusing to allow their eyes to meet. Not now. Not when he was in such a pathetic state. "I'm crying because I hate you so much right now!"

"For one mistake? You hate me for kissing Cloud back that _one_ time?" Riku asked, keeping his voice quiet. The tears streaming from Sora's eyes…they tore at Riku's angered heart. "You're going to—"

"I already told you this last time! I don't want to ever be near you ag—" Sora attempted and was silenced when Riku pressed his lips against Sora's once more. Riku froze, allowing their lips to just remain interlocked with one another for a moment, hoping that this would stop the brunet's crying.

"I told you not to hurt me," Sora whispered, his lips a fraction from Riku's as his hands clenched Riku's shirt, tears continuing to fall. "You betrayed me, Riku."

"Sora. My god. What do I have to do to make you forgive me?" Riku whispered.

"Why do you care about me so damned much?" Sora choked out in a sob, eyes tightly clamped shut. "Why do you care?"

"Because I don't want to lose you. I don't know why. I just can't… stop thinking about you, okay? I don't want this to end with you hating me. I don't want to regret not trying to get you back," Riku answered and gently kissed the top of Sora's nose. "One more chance. Please. I saved you… do I at least get a second chance?"

Sora sighed and tensed. "I'm not weak… I can live without you."

"I bet you could," Riku concurred.

"I'm not some hormonal teen that will easily fall back into the arms of their first lover because they're weak and stuff," Sora mumbled.

"Of course you aren't," Riku said quietly, kissing Sora's cheek.

"I'm still mad at you for what you did," Sora whispered, a shiver slipping down his spine.

"Mhm," Riku muttered, kissing Sora's jaw.

"I…Oh- I…" Sora let out a shuddery moan as his arms tightly grabbed Riku's shoulders, his neck arching back a bit. "You're cheating…you!" Sora warned. The brunet let out a boisterous moan when he felt those beautiful lips on his neck, capturing his soul once more.

"I was a horrible boyfriend. I tried to force you to do things you weren't ready for. I kissed Cloud. I hid how I felt. I'm sorry," Riku apologized, leading his lips down Sora's neck. "I don't expect you to forgive, but please, just don't leave."

"I don't know if we should stay together," Sora whispered honestly, his fingers beginning to dig into the soft flesh at the top of Riku's shoulders. Every single time the silveret's lips made contact with his neck the brunet emitted a fluttery gasp, almost sounding akin to a moan. "You should find someone e-else," Sora attempted and whimpered when he felt teeth grazing over his neck.

"What makes you think that I want to find someone else?" Riku retorted. His lips continued to apply themselves onto Sora's tanned neck, sucking and licking at the familiar skin over and over. And god, it never felt better.

"G-give me some time, Riku," Sora requested, his neck arching as far as possible. "Give me some time t-to forgive you and stuff." Sora mewed when Riku's lips led back up to his jaw.

"So we're…what?" Riku asked, kissing Sora's jaw with growing urgency.

"Un…decided," Sora answered airily, releasing a guttural moan when the silveret had kissed a sensitive spot on his jaw. Damn Riku.

Riku sighed and released his hold on Sora, staying at the brunet with apparent desperation. "So…we're just friends for now? We're not dating? I can't kiss you?" Riku asked, his eyes growing wider in stun.

"Y-yeah," Sora concurred, nervously shaking his head as he hand rose to finger his neck, shivering at how it had felt to have Riku's lips on it. "J-just until I figure out what I want and stuff."

"We'll…get back together, right?" Riku questioned. It was almost _sad_ how dependent Riku was appearing. It was almost pathetic how Riku quivered at the thought of losing Sora. "You're not going to decide to just end it, right?" Apprehension; how odd it looked in Riku Karada's eyes.

"We might," Sora said and glanced over his shoulder at Riku's door. "I…should get going. I'm still mad and stuff and Cloud's probably wondering where I am… I'll…see you around, okay Riku?" Sora requested, turning to glance back at the man who had hurt him.

Riku chuckled pathetically to himself, arms folding across his chest. "…Pretty stupid of me to think that you'd just accept my apology, huh?"

Sora cringed a bit, shrugged, and made his way to the door. "I'd say I'm sorry…but I honestly don't know what I'd be sorry for. Bye, Riku…" he whispered in a strained voice before leaving Riku's apartment, things only being a fraction better than what they were.

Weren't things _always_ supposed to work out for the better? Weren't couples _always_ supposed to get back together at one's request? Wasn't love _always _supposed to conquer? Then again, how could it if what they held for one another wasn't even love?


	16. minus four days

wow. i'm really sorry about the wait ;; it's just theater took away so much of my time then I was commited to writing birthday oneshots that were both like 10k a piece, so that took so much of my time. And then with Nanowrimo going and school and argh! I apologize, really. I promise the next won't be that long of a wait. Promise promise. Please stick with me? By the way, this chapter is longer, as promised,and has more plot development, as also promised. Reviews would be lovely...

* * *

_**By Chance**_

Riku stared dejectedly at the photographs sprawled across his bed, forming a small, miniature colony. The silveret had printed the digital pictures he had taken weeks prior, as if to preserve the beautiful memory. It was almost _sad_ how pathetic he was.

Each of the twenty photos, which lay upon his neatly made bed, contained a jovial and _smiling_ brunet. In the picture closest to the right the brunet teenager was blushing profusely, hiding his red face with his splayed hands. Beside him was the photographer who had one arm around the brunet, and the other holding the camera above then. His lips pressed sweetly against the brunet's red-hot cheek, the photographer's aquamarine eyes lidded blissfully.

In the second photo was that same brunet appearing quite annoyed. The teenager boy was sitting on the couch, holding a bowel of soup. Beautiful blue hues stared at the photographer with a faint blush.

Riku sighed dejectedly and brushed his thumb over the picture and turned to the third one. In this one he was kissing the brunet full on, his arm tightly wrapped around him as they sat on the couch. Riku swallowed and pushed the picture away, averting his gaze to the fourth one that was another silhouette of Sora's beautiful body. And the other sixteen were just sporadic moments over the course of almost a month. Kisses. Holding hands. Laughs. Smiles. Pouts. Smirks. And he had just fucking _screwed_ that up for _one_ platonic kiss with Cloud.

A frown appeared on Riku's sullen lips as he lifted the last picture into the air. It had to be the most beautiful picture he had ever seen…

And that was when Riku decided against sitting around moping. He _had_ to do something. He had to get out of the house and do _something_. And surely enough, he figured out what he could do to pass his time and make it worth a damn. So, as quickly as possible, Riku collected his coat and cell phone and left the apartment building.

All the while as the photograph fluttered to the ground … the picture of Sora and him sleeping side by side, falling face down.

**x**x**x**xxx**x**xxxx**x**xxxx**x**xxx**x**

"Leon, you're such a good cook!" Sora praised happily from his seat at the small dinner table nestled in the kitchen.

Leon, who was removing the makeshift apron he had been wearing earlier to make the dinner, sauntered over. The older brunet chuckled and offered Sora a slight look of gratitude as he slid into the seat across from Sora and somewhat beside Cloud. It was a round table, so naturally, everyone sat next to everyone.

"It is really good," Cloud concurred as he took a spoonful of spaghetti with a grateful look.

Leon, for the past few days, had been careful about his romantic exchanges with Cloud. The brunet made sure not to do that many things in front of Sora, in fear that it'd just cause the younger brother to feel dejected, lonely, and downright _bad_. Leon was the type to over think situations. Then again, a little extra thinking never hurt anyone so it was better to be safe than sorry, he figured.

But no matter how hard they tried to ignore the elephant in the room, of the matter, it always came back for more. "…I heard that Riku quit yesterday," Leon stated quietly, twirling a few noodles of angel hair onto his fork.

"He punched Roxas," Cloud interjected with a shrug as he continued eating his spaghetti, trying not to prolong this subject for too long. And no matter how hard he tried to avoid this, he knew Sora was going to ask-

"Why?"

Leon stiffened alongside Cloud. "Dunno. I wasn't there," Cloud murmured and offered an apologetic shrug at his younger brother. "They got into an argument, that's all I know." And frankly, Cloud _did_ know the whole story, courtesy of Naminé and Axel. The whole story, though, disturbed Cloud and he tried his best not to think too much into it.

"Oh," Sora stated plainly and lowered his gaze back to his food.

Leon sighed and figured that he couldn't make matters worse. "I spoke to him the other day. Last night, actually, when I was returning home," the older brunet explained as he casually set down his fork and diverted his gaze over to the brunet.

Cloud tensed, not knowing what to expect, and Sora looked up expectantly. "What'd he say?"

"He misses you," Leon stated bluntly and rolled his shoulders into a shrug. "He didn't directly come out and say it but it was obvious. The whole time he talked about you and he had a picture of you and him together with him. And he looked like a mess." Leon sighed and looked over to his own boyfriend with a slight frown. "He's sort of upset that neither of you are really on good terms with him at the moment…"

Cloud cleared his throat and lowered his gaze, similar to how Sora had done. There was no way in hell that Cloud was telling Leon everything that had conspired. "Next time I see him I'll talk to him," Cloud murmured wearily.

"Riku misses me," Sora repeated quietly, poking his noodles with the teeth of his fork.

Cloud looked over at Sora with an ambiguous expression. "…He got in the fight with Roxas over you, Sora," Cloud admitted, not feeling the need to hide it anymore. If Sora was actually willing to be open and discuss this as a mature adult, finally, then he would be also.

"What did he say? W-why would he hit Roxas?" Sora wondered weakly, tightening his grasp onto the cold metal between his fingers.

"I don't know all the details, but Roxas was claiming that Riku's relationship with you wasn't sincere and that he didn't really care about you. Apparently Riku was angry enough to punch Roxas, of all people, and storm out of the café." Cloud looked over at Leon, eying his boyfriend with a slight depression glimmering in his eyes.

Sora's stomach churned at the idea. "…It's simple, Cloud. He doesn't love me and I accept that. It was fun when it lasted. It really was… but I think I just need to heal… I mean, that's what summer love is, right? You have fun and then you get over it?"

"Riku never just gets over things," Cloud murmured to himself.

"I suppose," Leon interjected and shrugged. "Of course, you don't have to let go and move on if you don't want to."

Sora blinked up at Leon. "Why's that?"

Leon exhaled deeply. "If everyone gave up after the first try, just think where we would be. We wouldn't have all the things in life we had today. Probably not cars, or electricity. Most couples wouldn't be together…and we probably wouldn't be free. Life is a process of errors and trials and redoing. If you gave up after one go, it'd be like throwing away a chance of a lifetime," he explained smoothly.

Sora smiled, feeling a bit better. "Thanks, Leon…"

And Sora didn't even notice Leon snaking his hand around Cloud's from underneath the table, oh so inconspicuously.

**x**x**x**xxx**x**xxxx**x**xxxx**x**xxx**x**

"So you want to help in the investigation?" Sephiroth cocked a brow. "Any particular reason you've suddenly taken an interest into this?"

Riku sat on the edge of the police desk, his legs swinging idly back and forth. Aquamarine eyes remained glued to the floor, a picture all the while nestled deep within his jacket pocket. Just for good luck. Just for the memory. After a moment, Riku looked up and over to his brother, offering a sharp nod. "Yeah, I do wanna help. Figure I can give back to my lovely community," he stated sarcastically before adding on, "and I think I have a lead."

Sephiroth's eyes lit up. "A lead?"

"Yeah," Riku reiterated. "A lead."

"And how did you stumble across this?" Sephiroth asked curiously, his thin eyebrows forming an anxious arch as he stalked over to where his brother sat, wholeheartedly awaiting an answer. A lead meant so much for this case. So damn much.

"Awhile back. It didn't occur to me now," Riku stated with a shrug. "It may not be correct but I'm pretty sure it'll lead to something."

"Then, let me hear it," Sephiroth urged, eying his younger brother. "We're in a locked room, no one else will hear. It's just between us brothers." And for some reason, that did nothing to ease Riku's nerves… not like he had any to begin with. His emotions were in hibernation with the lack of Sora.

"He lives on the other side of town," Riku explained and leaned back on the desk a bit, hands gripping the edges forcefully. "A murder, if you will. Only reason I stumbled across him was because he was making contact with my friend's brother. Apparently, he coaxed my friend into meeting him. I knew something was … off, so I followed and sure enough the sick fuck tried to kill him or something."

"And you didn't report this right away _because_?" Sephiroth demanded.

"I was trying to get over the trauma and not relive it. I'm pretty sure my friend's brother didn't want to either," Riku snorted with a sharp stare.

"Riku," Sephiroth sighed perplexedly. "Do you really hate law enforcement that much?"

"Mostly," Riku agreed and shrugged his shoulders. "I mean, considering that you completely disowned Dad because he was gay and wouldn't give him the time or the day, even when he was in turmoil. So yeah, I kinda do hate cops…I'd say nothing personal, but well, it is personal."

"You're a dick, you know that?" Sephiroth groaned darkly, rolling his eyes at Riku's immaturity.

"I know, you don't like me. We're brothers, we're not supposed to like each other. But it's funny. Cloud and Sora like each other. Hell, they live with one another. And to think I almost ruined that bond," Riku murmured the last bit to himself.

"…Back to the case," Sephiroth nearly demanded, turning his back to his silver-haired younger brother.

"I have his address if you need it," Riku stated and passed the slip of paper to his brother. "I'd prefer to remain anonymous, as well as Sora."

"Of course, it's our policy," Sephiroth muttered and eyed the sheet of paper. "So you're fairly certain this guy has something to do with the Organization?"

"Mostly," Riku said and shrugged once more. "I figure that I might as well also tell you that he should be convicted for the murder of the Kayaki family."

Sephiroth frowned. "…Wait…"

"What?" Riku asked lamely, still not amused. No, not one bit. He hated being here more than anything. Cops and police stations were not something he liked or enjoyed. He detested the damn things, truly.

"…That's my partner's cold case," Sephiroth mumbled to himself. "He's been trying to crack that for years. Why didn't you tell me this sooner?!" Sephiroth demanded in an intense fury.

"Like anyone would believe me." Shrug.

"We could have searched for evidence to prove your statement!"

"Eh, not worth it." Shrug.

"You're saying putting the Kayaki's murder away in prison isn't worth it? Are you that cold-hearted?" Sephiroth demanded as he sent an icy glare directed at his brother. "Do you even realize what we stand for here?"

"Eh… justice, I suppose. That's what you convey to the public, right?" Riku deadpanned, shrugging for a final time as he began fiddling with his jacket zipper, as if finding it far more amusing than his conversation with Sephiroth.

"Riku," Sephiroth deadpanned with a sharp glare. "If I didn't believe in our justice system I wouldn't be working here and putting my life on the line every single day." Scowl. "And I'd appreciate it if you would stop acting like a crybaby over the past and just accept the fact that I'm your brother. Dad has nothing to do with _our_ relationship."

"So the fact that you hate gays is what… only between you and Dad?"

"Precisely," Sephiroth sighed and rubbed his temples vigorously. "He made his choice and I made mine. I don't want to talk about this any longer…especially to you. Can we please just get back to the case?" Sephiroth flickered his gaze up hopefully to his brother.

"I suppose I can help."

"Good. Then you're coming with me and my partner right now to stake out that house for conformation. If he's the guy you claim he is, we'll question him," Sephiroth explained with ease as he crossed his arms to his chest and began to pace back and forth once more. He was a nervous man, truly.

"Are you mad? The guy will shoot us if we come into his house saying we're the police," Riku stated gravely.

"Then we'll just have to be careful," Sephiroth answered swiftly and marched across the room. Moments later, he stood by the door with coat in hand. "Ready?"

"…You're a moron," Riku concluded as he pushed his body off the desk and over to his brother. "Fine… but don't say I didn't warn you…" Crazy idiotic Sephiroth running into danger with his shiny, police gun, ugh. They were going to get killed.

But hey, Riku had nothing left to lose anyhow.

**x**x**x**xxx**x**xxxx**x**xxxx**x**xxx

Sora curled his fist up against the door and breathed in deeply. Shakily, Sora rested his hand down against the cold wood of the door. Willing up all the courage he could muster, Sora knocked on said door and closed his eyes, his breath hitching in his throat. When there was no answer, Sora knocked again, his heart dropping. Still no answer.

And that was when Sora collapsed down against the door, his back sliding downwards against it. Now Sora sat on the floor of the apartment level, his knees hugging tightly to his chest. Weakly, Sora rested his cheek onto the tops of his knees and suppressed a whimper. "Riku," he whispered painfully and hugged his legs closer to his body.

It was obvious.

Riku had gone out to move on. Riku was out doing _something_ and not moping around like Sora had been. Sora _should_ have told him there was hope. Sora should have stopped being so damn stubborn and just gave Riku another chance. And now Riku was out somewhere else, probably falling for someone new. Sora's stomach churned as he nuzzled his cheek further against his warm knee.

"I miss him," Sora admitted, digging his nails into the rough jean material.

And then Sora just allowed himself to cry because frankly as long as no one saw him, he was okay with crying. He was okay with being depressed, as long as no one saw or knew. In the privacy of himself, he wept for his first real relationship that had ended too soon.

**x**x**x**xxx**x**xxxx**x**xxxx**x**xxx

"It's cold," Riku lamented as he followed his brother down the frigid streets of New York City. Wasn't it supposed to be _summer_? Summer did not entail breezy weather that was anything but scorching hot. Today was odd, Riku knew from the start, and the weird weather just added to it.

"Just zip up your jacket," Sephiroth asked laconically as his gaze turned to the third male. "See, Riku? Demyx isn't complaining about the weather, now is he?"

"Well, maybe I just feel like being a complete ass and bitching about everything just to tick you off," Riku answered in a dark grumble as he shoved his hands deeper into his pockets, not liking the cold feeling that was surrounding him. Perhaps it wasn't so much the weather but the feeling of dread of returning back to that house. The place he had saved Riku, almost lost his life, and frankly realized he really did like the brunet.

"Come on guys, lighten up!" Demyx interjected as he spread his arms out into the air. "Be glad that the heat wave is broken!"

"Why aren't you in uniform?" Riku wondered as he glanced back at the dirty blondish man that was following suit after the two Karada brothers. "I thought it was mandatory considering Sephiroth here is wearing his."

"Don't have to be," Demyx answered with a softened grin. "I suppose he just feels like it. Isn't that right, Seph?" Demyx wondered meerily.

_He's too perky_, Riku thought lamely and shrugged. "Or perhaps he just likes feeling important so he flaunts around town in his pretty little police outfit."

"Riku, cut the shit out," Sephiroth said through gritted teeth.

Riku only snorted and continued their trek to the building. "The guy's fucked up in the head," Riku explained to Demyx as he slowed his pace to walk beside the other man. "He's probably psycho or has some mental problem."

"Hopefully he doesn't play that card," Demyx answered with a gentle laugh. "So many murders try claiming they're insane to get off without the death penalty."

"Figures," Riku scoffed and strayed his right hand out of his jacket pocket and into the small pocket within his jacket. Wearily, Riku returned with the photograph, hugging it closer to his heart.

Demyx leaned over curiously. "Who's that?"

"…My bo-… my ex," he murmured quietly, displaying the picture for Demyx and keeping his voice quiet so that his brother would not overhear the conversation and figure out that his charming little brother liked boys just like his father did.

"He's cute…" Demyx remarked and eyed the photograph. "Why'd you guys break up?... If you don't mind me asking?"

Riku groaned and tightened his grip on his only link to Sora. "…My own damn stupidity, that's why."

"Can't you get back together then?" Demyx wondered, obviously striking up a conversation to pass the time and push Riku's anxiety away. It was apparent that Riku was nervous about returning to the house, and Demyx easily noted this at once.

"I've tried," Riku admitted. "He deserves better than me, though. So I don't blame him for rejecting me."

"Love's a crazy thing, isn't it?" Demyx asked with a sad smile as he gave once last look at the picture and then back ahead to where Sephiroth was standing a street corner. Curiously, Demyx hurried his pace alongside Riku and rushed up to the silver-haired police officer with growing inquiry.

"We're here, apparently," Sephiroth stated professionally and gestured to the building behind them.

"Yep, that's the place," Riku stated with an overdose of resentment in his voice. "Didn't think I'd be back here so soon," he mumbled as he pocketed the photograph once more.

"Here, allow me to handle this," Sephiroth informed the other two men as he waltzed up the steps to the house and proceeded to knock on the door. One knock. Two knocks. Three knocks. Sephiroth groaned in distaste when no one answered. "I just want to be done with this damn Organization massacre already," Sephiroth muttered as he waited for someone to answer the door.

Disregarding what Sephiroth had told him, Riku marched up the stairs beside his brother and banged his fist against the door. "Open up!" he demanded, anger at once seeping into his veins. No response. "I said open up you sick fuck!"

"Riku!" Sephiroth snapped his head over to stare in surprise at his brother. "What the hell are you doing?" he demanded as the door opened once he had finished speaking.

Sephiroth turned his gaze to the dark-haired man. "Excuse my brother's obscenity… he needs lessons in manners," Sephiroth stated coldly and offered a weary look at Zexion who was now standing at the entrance of the building, inside the door, holding it open.

"It's fine," Zexion drawled tastelessly and eyed the silveret with a smirk only to be seen in his eyes. "Is there a particular reason you're banging at my door?"

Sephiroth cleared his throat. "If you don't mind, I've come to ask you a few questions regarding a murder case that happened years ago that was just recently reopened."

"Oh? Which one?" Zexion stated emotionlessly.

"The Kayaki family murder one," Sephiroth stated smoothly and glanced over his shoulder, eying his partner who was staring at the conversation with curiosity. "Would you mind answering some questions for us?"

"Depending on what they are," Zexion stated curiously, arching his brow at the cluster of men.

"Alibis and whatnot," Sephiroth said.

"…If you're accusing me of something or whatnot, then I'd prefer if I had a law present," Zexion informed them platonically.

"Would it be all right if we stepped inside your ho—?" Sephiroth began but was cut short.

By a curt, "No."

"…I suppose we need a search warrant then," Sephiroth sighed and turned around. "We'll be back tomorrow, then, with that warrant. If you want a lawyer present, then I suggest you get in touch with one tonight." Sephiroth didn't bother waving the man off. The silver haired police officer just begrudgingly stomped off the stairs to go complain to Demyx who was looking quite dazed and confused. Riku figured that Sephiroth was just pissed that he couldn't solve a case right away.

"How's lover boy?" Zexion whispered as he leaned against the threshold, eying Riku with an arched brow.

"Fucking great," Riku hissed back. "Just telling you, I'm going to make _sure_ they put your ass in jail for everything you've done. Don't be surprised when they convict you of murder."

Zexion yawned. "I'm sure they will. They have no evidence to prove such a thing."

"…I'll _find_ proof that you did something," Riku snapped as he leaned closer, glaring at the man. As he moved, the photograph fluttered out of his pocket and onto the ground. Confusedly, Riku went to quickly pick it up but Zexion had stepped on it and collected it before Riku had a chance to.

"I see you're dating him," Zexion drawled, poking the picture. "Interesting…isn't it?"

Riku caught the danger in the man's eyes. "Sora has nothing to do with this. Sora didn't even _tell_ anyone what you did to him. That you lied and tried to kill him," Riku stated coldly. "I swear to god if you bring him into this I'll kill you myself."

"Such big words," Zexion muttered. "If you were going to kill me you would have when you had the chance."

"…Don't talk down to me!" Riku snapped.

"Riku, let's go!" Sephiroth called from behind him, sounding quite annoyed.

"I'm fairly certain where I'll be able to find Sora to convince the brunet I had been lying about the murders," Zexion stated with a silent chuckle as he made a waving movement at Riku. "Better get going before the big bad police man gets angry at you."

Riku blanched and then scowled. "If you touch him—!"

"Riku!" Sephiroth repeated angriliy.

"—I'll kill you. I'll fucking kill you," Riku concluded and gave Zexion one last menacing look and stormed down the steps, fists clenched by his sides, not even thinking to recollect his picture. Instead, he grabbed his brother and Demyx by the sleeves and dragged the pair of men away from the house, beyond frustrated.

And all Zexion could do was laugh to himself a bit chillingly as he peered down at the photograph Riku had so graciously left him. Beautiful…

**x**x**x**xxx**x**xxxx**x**xxxx**x**xxx

Riku nearly beat the elevator's up button in when he left the police station an hour later. The silver haired male was beyond description regarding his emotions. He was worried, he was pissed, he was frustrated, he was excited, he was confused… so many different things in such a small amount of time. There _would_ be a way to prove that Zexion had taken part in the Kayaki murder and there _had_ to be proof that Zexion was part of the Organization. There just had to be and Riku was going to find it, even if he _did_ have to converse with his brother about it.

But if Zexion laid one finger on Sora, he'd… he'd kill the damn bastard.

Riku exited the elevator, massaging his forehead. Right now he just wanted to go back into his room and sleep. Sleep sounded like the best thing at the moment that would clear his foggy mind. Riku wearily turned the corner of the hallway, making his way to his apartment. However, he stopped halfway, dead in his tracks.

Sitting on the ground, curled up against the door, _sleeping_, was the beautiful brunet himself. Riku's heart dropped then stopped briefly as he stared at him. Cautiously, Riku made his way closer and crouched down beside the brunet.

"Sora?" he whispered, noting that the brunet was lightly snoring.

Riku frowned. "Oh god, Sora," Riku murmured and resisted the urge to hug or touch the boy. "Why are you here?" he asked deaf ears as he eyed Sora. "…You really shouldn't be here. I mean, I thought you told me there was no hope and that I should just get on with my life. And yet here you are…"

Sora stirred a bit but remained sleeping.

"I really wish you would let me touch you…I've missed you so damn much. So much, Sora… this past week has been hell, really it has." Riku resorted to sitting on his knees and speaking to the slumbering brunet. "God…"

Sora stirred again and opened his weary eyes. At once, the blue spheres widened. "Ri-!" The last syllable was cut short when Sora flung his arms around Riku's neck, drawing the older closer to him in a tight hug.

"Um?" Riku stated as he felt his body being crashed up against Sora's knees. At once, Sora flattened his legs and tugged Riku closer, burying his face into Riku's soft, silvery hair. "S-sora?" Riku wondered as he felt his face being crushed against Sora's shoulder.

"Do you find it weird that I was sleeping at your doorstep?" Sora asked nervously, chuckling soon after as he inhaled Riku's scent.

"A bit stalkerish… but sweet I suppose," Riku answered just as apprehensively as he eased against Sora's body, his arms, in response, wrapping around Sora's torso. Riku pulled his head away from Sora's torso and a few inches back, allowing their eyes to meet. "What do I owe this honor to?"

"I uh…missed you," Sora admitted and then shyly looked away. "I just… thought that you know, we'd see each other everyday and argue and stuff…but then when you didn't come today I was…er… disappointed?"

"Sora, when you break up with someone you don't see them everyday," Riku stated with an arched brow.

Sora appeared genuinely surprised. "You don't?..."

"No Sora, that's what a relationship is for. To see them all the time and be with them. Hug them, kiss him, hold their hand." Riku trailed off and sighed. "Why? Does it bother you that you don't see me everyday?"

"…Sorta," Sora confessed.

"I suppose we can meet up for lunch or something everyday and talk and whatnot," Riku suggested with a shrug and looked off to the right. "I mean, friends do that a lot. Though I sorta can't go back to the café now that I knocked Roxas out. Axel and him would murder me for setting foot back in there without intending to apologize. So I suppose we'll have to find a new hangout…and me a new job. Oh god, this is—"

"Riku?" Sora asked quietly, cutting off Riku's ramble.

"Hm?" Riku looked back, despite his urge to continue venting.

"I… can you kiss me?" Sora whispered nervously, swallowing hard as he looked downward shyly. "Y-you don't have to, though. I mean, if you like someone else don't. I want you to be happy and I don't want you to feel uncomfortable…So you don't really need to--!"

Sora's statement was ended by a gasp of surprise when his lips were covered by Riku's. The brunet squeaked as his body was pushed harder back against the closed door behind him. With ease, Riku rested one knee on either side of Sora's spread out body, his hips resting dangerously over Sora's. They didn't notice though, at the moment, considering their lips were tightly pressed against one another's.

"Riku," Sora whispered into the kiss, nearly melting into it as he greedily leaned impossibly closer, his hands drifting into Sora's hair. "Don't…don't stop," he whispered against Riku's sweet lips.

Riku brushed his lips once more against Sora's in response, his hands resting squarely down onto Sora's shoulders. The silver-haired male rolled their lips together, covering all of Sora's and then not. After a moment, the older resorted to hungrily nipping the teen's bottom lip, sucking it between his own before letting it go. He did that a few times, savoring the cute sounds that Sora produced whenever he became daring.

When Riku swiped his tongue against Sora's lips (something they hadn't done in over a week) Sora jerked in surprise and lifted his hips, accidentally arching them against Riku's. The brunet gasped, his hands tugging Riku's hair in response as a small course of that unknown pleasure filtered into his body, leaving him a bit breathless.

Riku took Sora's open mouth as an invitation to enter. Coyly, Riku entered Sora's mouth, swiping his tongue along Sora's hot and trembling mouth, his gums…everything. Riku adored the muffled sounds Sora made and the way the brunet shyly tugged him closer, hugging their bodies close.

Riku pulled away after a moment, breathlessly breaking their lips with a soft, wet click. The aquamarine-eyed teen stared down at the ground and struggled to catch his breath. "Wow…that was…damn."

"Riku," Sora whispered quietly, gasping for air as he rested his head against Riku's chest. "I miss you," he repeated quietly, a small, pained tear forming in his right eye.

"You…"

"…Please… can we…?"

"Get back together?" Riku guessed hopefully, reaching down to intertwine his fingers with Sora's. _If you're dating me, you'll be safe from that psychotic bastard. We'll be happy and we can help Sephiroth end this case. We'll be happy and things will finally start going right again. They will._

"…yes," Sora whispered so softly that Riku wasn't sure he had heard right.

"What?"

"You. Me. Dating. Now…please?" Sora asked sheepishly, keeping his gaze down.

"…All right then," Riku decided with a beautiful smile appearing on his lips. "I'll have to agree to that statement…"

Sora grinned widely and hugged his boyfriend close. "Can I er…spend the night? I don't really wanna let you go and stuff…"

"Sure, why not," Riku chuckled and nuzzled Sora close.

_I won't let anyone hurt you, Sora. Not now. Not ever. Not even me._


	17. day twentysix

_the laptop has been broken, but now it's fixed! and winter break is soon. Not right now, sadly. But I am a writing machine lately, so that's good. Sorry for the lack of update...again. This chapter was quite hard to write. Ahem. Sorry about that. Anyway, check out the new stories and leave a review for this one, please?_

* * *

**_By Chance  
_**  
It was early in the morning…maybe.

"Riku!"

It was early in the morning, perhaps around nine. For Riku, that was early. Riku enjoyed sleeping late on the weekends. Nothing was better than oversleeping in his comfortable bed in his beautiful, up-scale New York apartment. Oh, he loved this place.

"Riku!"

And probably what Riku hated the most was someone _interrupting_ his peaceful sleep.

Riku scrunched his nose up, his mind jerking into consciousness. The rich silveret subconsciously tightened his hold around the slumbering brunet in his grasps. Riku's fingers, meanwhile, began to thread back and forth through the brown, soft locks of hair, the silveret's mind at complete ease.

"Riku!"

Riku groaned and stiffened. The silver-haired male attempted to block out the hollering but shifting closer to his sleeping boyfriend. It didn't work. Within moments, Sora began to stir, his wide blue eyes fluttering open.

"Riku! God damnit! Open up!"

Sora blinked tiredly and looked up to Riku, at once noticing that he was awake. "Mm?..." Sora yawned and winced when he heard the banging on the apartment door. The brunet groaned and snuggled closer, burying his face into Riku's warm, and surprisingly unclothed, chest. "Don't go," Sora breathed.

Riku yawned and raised his right arm to rub his temples. "He's not going to stop until I answer the door," Riku reasoned sternly as he tugged the blankets tighter around their sleeping bodies.

"No," Sora whined, his voice dragging out the word. "Stay right here," Sora instructed.

"But Sora," Riku said. "He's not going to go _away_ and let us get back to sleep."

"Riku," Sora complained and hugged the silveret tired. "Stay here with me." The brunet proceeded to nuzzle against Riku's warm chest lovingly.

Riku had to admit, Sora being clingy was something he was enjoying readily. They had gone, what? A few or more, or maybe he even two, without being with one another. Perhaps maybe only a week, Riku had lost track of time. It had_ felt_ like forever, however. Just the mere thought of being without Sora another moment drove the silveret clinically insane. He _needed_ Sora here, not wanted (though there was some want in there, of course… but it was more need).

And then there was the matter of the diary. When the _hell_ was he going to give it back to Sora? Just slip it into his jacket? Into his house? Riku groaned at the idea. If Sora knew he had had it all along, Sora would surely be upset. But what if Sora was so overjoyed that Riku had it and that it wasn't lost that he flung himself right into Riku's arms, begging to be taken and fucked into the mat-

All right, highly unlikely. The prior seemed more logical than the latter.

"I'll be back in a few minutes," Riku said in reassurance. The silveret pressed a gentle kiss to Sora's forehead to add more validity to his prior statement.

With one last huff, Sora nodded. Riku smirked and pried the brunet's arms off his own, thin body. With ease, the silveret slid off the large bed and scuffled across the room, traversing through his apartment and to the front door. God. It was just too damn early to be awake on the weekend!

With a disgruntled sigh, Riku opened the door. He wasn't surprised to see who was there.

"Why didn't you answer?" Cloud demanded, his blue eyes nearly _glowing_ with irritation and a bit of residing fear.

Riku, who was garbed in only a thin pair of black boxers, leaned against the threshold, casually shrugging. "I was asleep. Had to get up and out of bed. You know how lazy I am," Riku answered choppily.

"…Is Sora with you?" Cloud wondered, paying no heed to Riku's pointless explanation.

Riku crinkled his nose momentarily and spared a glance over his shoulder into the quiet apartment behind him. There was no point in lying to Cloud considering how far it got him _last_ time. A break-up with Sora, _that's_ what happened when he lied to the blond. "Yeah."

Cloud exhaled in visible relief. "When he didn't come home last night I thought the worst," Cloud admitted as he ran a shaky hand through his blonde hair. And Riku hadn't noticed it before, but dark circles rimmed Cloud's bright eyes, along with shaking hands. Damn. Cloud must have been worried _sick_.

"He fell right asleep," Riku explained, leaning his cheek against the cold metal of the frame. "Sorry."

The apology did not sound very sincere. "Could you have at least called?" Cloud said with a small glare directed at his silver haired friend. Blue eyes narrowed as well, adding to the intimidating look the blonde-haired person was producing.

"Will next time," Riku answered curtly.

Cloud sighed in defeat. "Just have him back by lunch. Leon and I wanted to take him out," Cloud said and tensed a bit, obviously wanting nothing more than to end this conversation with his 'best friend'.

"Of course," Riku stated promptly, eying the man who had nearly ended it all for Riku and his boyfriend. "And I'll make _sure_ he comes back in one piece, promise."

Cloud rolled his eyes. "I swear, Riku. If you hurt him…" Cloud began threateningly.

"I'm not the one that hurts people, Cloud," Riku reminded the blond, almost glaring at his friend.

Cloud gaped, his mouth hanging open for a few moments. "By the way…I don't want you screwing my brother. At all. If I hear about it…damnit, Riku," Cloud warned with a narrowed gaze.

Riku shook his head in disbelief. "Afraid that your brother is gonna become a sex addict?"

Cloud glared. "I just don't want you robbing him of his virginity, that's all."

"Why?" Riku demanded, straightening up, appearing quite offended. "Why?" Riku demanded once more. "Why don't you want your best friend who'll actually treat your brother right not to be with him?" Riku cocked a brow. "More importantly, why_ wouldn't_ you want your brother with someone you both could trust? Afraid I'll get tired of him? Oh wait no, that's _your_ job."

"Stop being immature, Riku. It won't solve anything," Cloud said with a reasoning tone. "I just don't want you to rush things with him. You're…basically, his first relationship. If you don't do things right, he'll be scarred."

"I'm aware of that," Riku answered simply. "I hate to cut you short, Cloud, but I want to go back to bed. And there's a draft out here." Riku gestured to his mostly unclothed body.

Cloud glared and shrugged dismissively. "Fine. Just have Sora back by lunch," Cloud stated once more in an annoying way of reminding the silver haired male.

Riku sighed. "Okay Cloud," he drawled and then moved a bit back into his apartment, making a move to close the door. However, before he could do such Cloud had stuck his foot into the door, deterring it from shutting.

"One more thing."

"Yes?" Riku asked with an elongated pronunciation of the word.

"What…happened between us… I want you to know I never wanted to hurt you. There was just… things that … made things play out the way they did," Cloud explained carefully, meeting Riku's confused aquamarine gaze. Without a word, Cloud removed his foot and stalked back down the hallway.

"And I'm what? Supposed to believe that or something?" Riku snapped irritably, eying the blond with a look of vexation.

"No," Cloud stated simply. The blond paused at the end of the hallway and swiveled his head around, his cloudy blue eyes staring sternly back at Riku. "I'm not expecting you to believe it. I just wanted you to know it. You know, so you didn't think I purposely cast you aside emotionlessly. That's all."

And perhaps it would have felt better if Cloud had said he just didn't want anything to do with Riku.

"Well, whatever. I have Sora now. It doesn't matter anymore," Riku stated, his aquamarine eyes staring sternly down at the blond. And Riku wished with all his heart that his words were all true. Yet, he knew that they were all partial lies. And it hurt him so badly—but not as much as it'd hurt Sora.

"I see…" Cloud trailed off, hunching his shoulders a bit before continuing his walk down the hallway.

"I'll bring Sora over at noon," Riku stated quietly into the air, watching as Cloud nodded and exited by means of the elevator door. With a sigh, Riku lowered his gaze and gripped painfully onto the door-frame.

Cloud…hadn't wanted to hurt him? Did that mean at one point Cloud _had_ liked him back? Riku's stomach began twisting and turning and then churning as he stood there, feeling a bit sick. _I have Sora. We've gone through this. I want Sora. It's simple. Sora. Not Cloud. Sora. _So why did he feel like such a dirty, rotten, lying bastard when he said that?

Riku shook his head dismissively and head back towards his bedroom. "I'm a moron," he told himself as he crossed his arms to his cold, bare chest. "Cloud's an ass. Nothing he could say will change anything. It won't," Riku reasoned as he trudged back into the bedroom, yawning wearily as he closed the door behind him.

Riku hadn't expected a brunet to coming flying at him the moment he closed the door.

"Sora?" Riku asked cautiously, eying the brunet who had at once curled his arms around the taller's form.

"There's a spider on the bed!" Sora squeaked in fear, clinging to the older for dear life. Sora's hands remained on Riku's back and his face nuzzled against Riku's chest, hiding itself from the hideous sight. A shiver slipped down Sora's spine as he stood there, holding his boyfriend impossibly close to his own body.

"A spider?" Riku repeated questioningly. _I never have spiders in my house. I'm on a freaking high floor. It'd be impossible._ "Maybe you had a nightmare?" Riku suggested, glancing down wearily at the trembling brunet who refused to loosen his grip on Riku. Oh teenagers.

"I'm pretty sure it wasn't a dream, Riku!" Sora argued stubbornly, nudging his nose repeatedly against the flat planes of Riku's chest. It was warm…and nice. Sora blinked rapidly for a few moments before a slight blush crept up onto his face. His palms began to sweat, just the slightest, as he stood there. Was the room spinning? It sure felt like it.

"Sora, you're shaking badly, maybe you should sit down," Riku advised, running a hand cautiously through Sora's baby soft brown hair. Sora's hair was so beautiful…how could he hurt someone as gorgeous as Sora for a second time? He couldn't. He _wouldn't_.

"I'm fine," Sora lied and progressed onwards to laugh under his breath. "See? I'm not shaking as much as a few minutes ago…" Sora trailed off as he rubbed his cheek timidly against Riku's bare chest, his cheeks turning a dark shade of crimson.

"Good," Riku said as he idly kissed Sora's forehead.

Without another word, Riku dropped his hand from Sora's hair and snaked it in-between their bodies. Fingers clasped gently onto Sora's right cheek, lightly caressing it and tilting it upwards. Shy, blue eyes met deep, furtive aquamarine ones. Sora squeaked and looked off to the right, attempting to hide his blush. "Are you blushing, Sora?" Riku questioned in an almost sultry tone.

"No, why would I be blushing?" Sora grumbled, his face getting brighter by the moment. Uncomfortably, Sora shifted his gaze back to Riku's, noticing how _intently_ the older was staring at him. Sora opened his mouth to comment on Riku's sudden seriousness but was cut short when Riku's thumb began brushing along his cheek. Back and forth. Sora at once fell under a makeshift spell.

"I don't know. Why don't you tell me?" Riku recommended, indolently pressing a chaste kiss to Sora's other cheek. His lips lingered there for a few minutes before pulling away. The color was suiting for Sora.

"Because you're being…all Rikuish," Sora mumbled under his breath, face as bright as an overripe apple. "Which isn't a bad thing, I don't think…" Sora laughed apprehensively under his breath and kept his blue gaze locked onto an object in the distance. Why did standing against his practically naked boyfriend make him all of a sudden turn into a stammering, incoherent banshee?

"Rikuish, huh? Is that an adjective?" Riku wondered curiously, gently kissing Sora's cheek again. His tongue flicked out against the warm cheek momentarily, enjoying the shiver that danced down Sora's body instantly afterwards. It was _deliciously_ arousing.

"No…" Sora drawled, his neck impulsively craning as he felt Riku's scratchy tongue against his skin. It wasn't unpleasant—it was just different. Something Sora wasn't accustomed to yet. That didn't mean that he didn't like it. In fact, he found it quite appealing… "It's a way of life," Sora corrected in a breathy tone, his eyes fluttering shut briefly.

"I like that," Riku chortled as he kissed the very beginning of Sora's neck, below his ear. He must have hit a pressure point because Sora choked out a stifled moan as his grip on Riku's back increased tenfold. And the brunet shuddered a few times in Riku's grasp which was highly noticeable. "And I like _that_ as well." A small smirk.

"W-who… was at the door?" Sora managed to ask, his fingers kneading like a kitten would against the back of Riku's shoulder blades. Sora was barely aware of his surroundings nor was he aware of what he was doing exactly. All he cared about and _felt_ at this moment was an escalating warmth in the room and how damn _good_ it felt to have Riku so close to him.

"Cloud. He wanted to tell me to bring you back around noon," Riku explained plainly, raising his hand into the air. Curiously, the silveret dragged his index finger down the curve of Sora's left side. Green eyes watched in pure amusement as Sora's back arched involuntarily, twisting away from the ticklish touch.

"A-and how far away is that?" Sora questioned, piercing his bottom lip with his teeth as he attempted to prevent a guttural noise from slipping from his lips. Oh yeah, the brunet was _beyond_ shy.

Riku twisted his neck away from Sora's and peered over at the digital clock next to the bed. Eyebrows arched before he returned his attention Sora's neck. The taller simply nipped a column of Sora's neck, receiving a pleasured noise almost instantly. "I say it's about nine-thirty. We have a good two hours or so…" Riku trailed off and nibbled on the brunet's neck, sucking the skin experimentally between his lips.

"I…see," Sora answered, groaning at this slipping self restraint. "R-riku?" Sora asked, his legs wobbling as his entire body began to tremble against the older male in front of him.

"What's up?" Riku replied, lifting his face away from Sora's now wet neck. Aquamarine hues stared at Sora for a long moment, coaxing the brunet into response.

"Can we…sit down or something?" Sora requested, his chest rising and deflating at insane speeds. "P-please? My legs…feel like jello," Sora complained as he pressed close to Riku, burying his beet red face against the silveret's bare chest.

"Sure," Riku said as he pulled away from Sora. The brunet made a small, displeased noise as the warmth of Riku's body left him. Blue eyes watched as Riku ambled slowly across the room, backwards, towards the bed. The back of Riku's knees made contact with the end of the bed and Riku promptly fell backwards, purposely, onto the mattress, his back hitting the area.

Sora blushed once again and nervously meandered over, playing with his fingers as he went. When he was within a foot of the bed, Riku's arms flung out from their placement on the bed and snagged Sora's wrist. The brunet squeaked as he stared down at his laying boyfriend. Riku smirked back up at Sora before yanking the shorter towards him. The action caused the young brunet boy to tumble forwards, landing halfway across Riku's chest. Sora's limbs hung off the side of the bed as he continued squeaking from alarm.

"Riku!" Sora complained, blushing furiously up at his boyfriend as he sneaked a peek at the man he was now laying on top of. What an odd change of events.

"Yes?" Riku drawled, smirking seductively at Sora as his arms curled around Sora's waist, keeping the brunet securely on top of his hips. "What's up?"

"Uh…" Sora was silent for a long moment as he stared uncertainly down into Riku's eyes. How had he gone an entire week without even _seeing_ them? How had he gone that long without kissing his boyfriend? Sora shivered a bit, his gaze remaining locked with Riku's. _I…I think I love him…_ Sora thought weakly, his mind turning numb as he stared down at his sneering boyfriend.

"Something wrong?" Riku questioned, leaning up to press a tender kiss onto Sora's cheek. It wasn't a provocative or arousing, just adoring.

"No," Sora answered honestly as he giggled uneasily. "Just…looking at your eyes?" Sora continued gaining color.

"That's thoughtful," Riku commented as he nuzzled his cheek against Sora's, breathing gently down onto his boyfriend's neck. "It was lonely without you here," Riku whispered, the silence engulfing their forms once again.

Sora lowered his gaze. "I know…I really missed you," Sora confessed, his words now barely whispers as he made no attempt to move away from Riku.

"I'm sorry I hurt you," Riku murmured, keeping his cheek against Sora's. Right now he didn't want Sora to see his eyes—he was too afraid that Sora would see the flicker of uncertainty in them. That little, lingering amount of affection that he still held for Cloud, that could ultimately drive him to make _another_ mistake. How could you stop yourself from loving someone?

"I…just don't do it again," Sora settled upon, his hands resting nervously on Riku's milky bone shoulders. "It really hurt, Riku. I didn't think it would, but it did." Small tears prickled in Sora's eyes.

"Sora," Riku murmured, his heart breaking a thousand times over when he heard the restraint in Sora's voice. When he heard the tears in Sora's eyes form. He just knew they were there. "Sora," he said again, unable to reassure Sora that it would not happen again. All he could do was say the brunet's name and force himself to only think about _Sora, Sora, Sora_.

"Riku?"

Silence once again was the dominating factor.

"Yeah?" Riku murmured, losing all of his earlier intents. He no longer wanted to see how far he could go with Sora. All he wanted right now was to hold Sora and just talk. Hold him until the brunet passed out in his arms… in _his_ bed.

"I think I love you," Sora whispered, his voice strained and tired.

And those three words just tore the whole of Riku _apart_.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

It was already one in the afternoon. After Riku had returned Sora back to his home and left the boy with a long, passionate, lingering goodbye kiss, he decided upon going to see if he could…_possibly_ work things out with Roxas. _And_ work out his troubling thoughts as well.

So that left Riku, walking the streets of New York silently. The silveret kept his hands in his jacket pockets as he walked, not wanting them to be exposed for some reason or another. True, it was summer, but he just didn't like his hands to be exposed to the weather of the city. Regardless, Riku continued on his way towards the café, his mind feeling fuzzy. _Sora loves me?...How did that happen? _Riku shook his head. _He doesn't know what love is, that's all. He thinks it's love but it's not. That's all._ Then he thought, _Why am I trying so damn hard to convince myself that Sora doesn't love me?..._ Was it because he was terrified that he was going to break the brunet for a second time?

Riku entered the café. The moment he pushed the door in and closed it he felt a million pairs of eyes settling upon him. _Right. Roxas probably hates me now. Axel is probably going to beat my face in for what I did. And Namine. God. I doubt she'll want to speak to me still_. Riku felt a bit sick to his stomach as he quietly ambled across the café and towards the counter. No one was at it at the moment.

"Maybe they saw me coming and ran," Riku snorted as he took a seat on the barstool and glanced around the remotely quiet café. No one was performing on stage but a cheerful tune played through the speakers. The radio, Riku figured. Either that or a recording from another night. In the back of his mind he wondered if he ever would have another chance to play here.

"And what are you doing here?" deadpanned a voice from behind Riku.

Riku didn't need to turn around to know who that voice belonged to anymore than he needed to see the face to know that the man was _very_ pissed at him. Riku stiffened, just the slightest, and proceeded to hang his head down a bit. _Did I come here to apologize? _he thought idly as he sat there, not daring to respond to the blond behind him.

"I thought I at least deserved an answer," snorted the other man.

Riku shrugged and watched out of the corner of his eye as Roxas took a seat beside him. The blond appeared to have the remnants of a black eye. However, the bruise was fading and it didn't look nearly as bad as it probably did in the beginning. Riku cleared his throat and dared to turn his head to the right to stare at his 'ex' friend.

"I don't know why you'd ruin friendships over a relationship, Riku," Roxas said emptily as he laced his hands together on the counter. Piercing, blue eyes remained locked with Riku's paralyzed ones. "I mean, I know I _perhaps_ was a bit too blunt, but to punch me and then storm out of here like a two year old? That's not very becoming."

"You said I was replacing Cloud with Sora," Riku gritted out through clenched teeth.

"If it wasn't true then you wouldn't have gotten so upset with me," Roxas pointed out, a devious smirk appearing on his lips. "I know how your mind works, Riku. I've known you for far too long to not know what you're doing."

Riku sighed and laughed mockingly under his breath. "If what you're saying is true then why can't I stop thinking about Cloud?" Riku was taking a shot. He was opening up to the man he had just punched and betrayed. Why? Because frankly he thought that Roxas and Namine would be the only two people who would offer to listen to him—Sora and Cloud couldn't. It _was_ about them, after all.

"I think you need to talk to Cloud about everything, that's what I think," Roxas said and leaned back a bit on the stool. "It's obvious that you have feelings for the both of them. I've seen the way you look at Sora and I know how you feel about Cloud. If you want an answer to your own question you're going to need to bite the bullet and talk to Cloud."

Riku snorted in disbelief. "Talk to him? Roxas, everyone I talk to him _alone_ …_something_ happens."

Roxas nodded knowingly. "I know, Riku."

Silence. "On a scale of one to ten, how pissed are you at me?" Riku asked, his fingers digging into the soft flesh of his palm.

"An eight," Roxas said and then tapped his fingers on the counter, drawing Riku's attention to him. "But I've been madder before. I'm sure you remember why." Both males laughed under their breaths. "An apology would be a good starting point to fixing the problem, don't you think?"

"You're too wise for your own good," Riku mumbled under his breath and shook his head to the right. "You need your own show or something. You're like a Dr. Phil prodigy."

Roxas blanched and narrowed his eyes. "Never, _ever_ say that again."

Riku chortled for real this time. Sea green lifted themselves off his hands and settled upon Roxas. "All right, then. I'm sorry for knocking your lights off _and_ for quitting. Your turn."

"I'm sorry for stating the truth," Roxas said a bit distantly.

Riku sighed. "All right, then." The silveret glanced over his shoulder at the café, at once noticing that Axel was not here. "Where's Axel? He's usually here?" Riku questioned as he turned back to his blonde friend with curious, aquamarine eyes. He was determined to mend their fractured friendship.

"Busy," Roxas stated simply and glanced at the buzzing coffee maker. "Namine is in the backroom sorting through boxes," he went on to explain. "So it's just you and me at the moment."

"So she is still working here part time?"

"Yeah, when she's not down at the office working out patient's problems," Roxas sneered and laced his hands together under his chin. "I kind of feel bad for her. Of all the jobs to have, she has to be a therapist. I never saw her as one. Did you?" he asked, arching a blonde eyebrow at Riku.

"No," Riku answered honestly and swallowed down a lump of nerves he really wasn't sure was there prior. "Roxas?"

"Hm?" Roxas turned his attention back to his childhood friend with a cocked brow. "What's on your mind this time?"

"Sora said he loved me," Riku stated a bit uneasily.

"That's good," Roxas answered and gave a sharp nod, his feet swaying back and forth over the edge of the stool. "If the boy cares about you enough to say that then you have something good going for you. I'm happy for you, then."

"I guess…"

"What? Would you prefer if Cloud had said it?" Roxas stared sternly at his friend.

Riku's eyes widened and he opened his mouth to argue but found it impossible to do such. Riku groaned and lowered his gaze. "I just don't know if Sora knows what love is, that's all," Riku mumbled in explanation, attempting to hide the hurt glint of truth that was residing in his eyes.

"Well…why don't you ask him?"

Spoken like a true best friend and realist, Riku supposed. _This is going to be a long, long week… _"How do I ask him something like that? Hey, Sora. I wanted to know what your perception of love is. I want to know if you really do love me or if you're just lusty. Yeah, Roxas. He'd certainly be happy if I said that to him."

"You don't have to be so blunt about it," Roxas said and then distantly looked off to the right. "When Axel told me he loved me I asked him to describe how he felt when he said that. He got mad for the first few minutes but then he realized that I was just curious. Love is a tricky thing…it's hard to really know when you're in love."

"I know," Riku deadpanned and ran a hand distractedly through his hair. "I know that too damn well," he admitted and began massaging his temples. "I don't even know what I feel about Sora."

"Well, you were pretty damn upset to have lost him so I assume it's getting close to that point," Roxas pointed out and looked back at Riku once again, his icy blue eyes portraying everything that he had just spoken.

"I suppose I was," Riku sighed and leaned his elbows onto the counter, resting his chin into his hands. "I'm sort of terrified to try anything with him, though. I'm not sure how mentally ready he is for anything. I was going to try something this morning, I had every intent, but then he started explaining how he felt about me and stuff…"

"Wait for him to approach it," Roxas suggested, nodding his head. "You'll be certain that he's ready if he's the one to bring it up."

"And when will that be? Four months?"

"If you love him you'll wait," Roxas sneered and pushed his body off the stool. "I have to go tend to my customers." Roxas stretched his arms above his head and yawned a bit.

"All right," Riku murmured and lowered his gaze, about to be lost in his thoughts again.

"And Riku?" Riku turned his gaze to the blond with an upturned eyebrow. "Be here tomorrow at eleven." Riku smirked, nodded, and turned back to stare out the window. _Maybe… Just maybe…_ Riku thought dismally as he was soon lost to his own thoughts.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Sora curled up on his bed and began to stare out the window, watching the summer rain fall. The brunet leaned his head up against the cold glass and sighed with relief. _I told him. I…told him about how I feel. That's a step in the right direction, right? Of course it is…_ Sora figured and closed his eyes briefly. _If Riku loves me too he'll tell me, right? This is love, right?_ Sora's mind got a bit fuzzy. He would have asked Cloud but at this moment he really wasn't too sure if he could talk about love with Cloud knowing that his brother had kissed Riku and still held _some_ emotions for the other male. It hurt. It really did.

"Cloud has Leon, though," Sora reasoned with himself as he breathed in deeply. "And I have Riku. Riku has me. Everything will be fine, right? Yeah, of course," Sora murmured, his words falling to whisper in the silence.

Sora's thoughts were interrupted when a ding sounded through his ears. The brunet's eyes opened and glanced across the room. Blue eyes settled upon his computer. In the corner was a small 'new email' icon. Figuring that it was from Riku, Sora quickly got off the bed and traversed across his bedroom.

Sora rapidly opened it, expecting to see some mushy letter that would make his heart soar and his stomach feel funny but what he saw didn't do any of that. In fact, it scared the living _shit_ out of him.

_Don't think this is over_, it said. And when Sora saw the email address he nearly fainted. And at the bottom of the email was a small, ending sentence. _I know more than you think._

And Sora just wanted to break down in tears.

"N-no…" he whispered weakly, closing the email quickly and slumping back into his computer chair. "No," he repeated as tears began to swell up in his eyes. "No…it is _over_. It is," Sora kept saying and hugged his arms tightly to his body. "It is…It is…"

But was it really? Sora knew, in his heart, that it wasn't…


	18. day twentyseven

_sorry it took awhile. had loads to do. other stories to write. anyhow, here's the next chapter. plot development... uhm. there's slight explicitness in this one, but i purposely made it T-ish simply because there was no need to be M rated. Haha. So um. Enjoy and please leave a review? yes, i'd love that!_

* * *

**_By Chance_**

It was ten a.m. the next morning and Sora had informed his older brother that he would be gone for the day—at Riku's, to be precise. Cloud had merely shrugged it off, forcing Sora to _promise_ he'd be back by dinner, and to make sure he looked both ways before crossing the street. Sora wasn't entirely sure whether or not to take the last one as a joke or if Cloud was being utterly serious. Regardless, he left the house in a flurry, his feet running close to the speed of light as thoughts began whirling around his head, making it hurt and hurt and just continue to _ache_. That email, he thought lamely, making his way to the subway pick-up so he could take it over to Riku's, that email…it had to be a joke. Right? He wouldn't mess with me again, right?

Sora gulped and jostled his way through the bustling city crowd, down towards Sixtieth Street to pick up a line of the subway that would take him to his destination. All the while, he wondered just what Riku would do if he told him. Would he flip? Would he yell? Sora shivered and continued down towards the subway stairs that would lead him beneath the city. Yeah. He'd be fine. He just wouldn't tell Riku. If the emails continued, he'd tell Cloud and demand that his older brother kept it a safely guarded secret. Yeah…No. That wouldn't work.

It took twenty minutes for Sora to arrive at Riku's apartment building. The brunet shyly glanced up towards the level that Riku lived on. _It's weird. We went from bickering to telling lies to…dating to breaking up and now back together. My heart hurts sometimes when he holds me. It feels like I'm doing something wrong… like something's off_. Sora shook his head. _Maybe I'm just not allowing myself to feel good over things. Is that possible?_

He quietly entered the building and took the elevator to Riku's floor, ignoring the jovial man's greeting to him. He wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone but Riku. And as they ascended floors, in that small box held up by cables, he slowly realized that he couldn't keep his mind off the silveret for one damn second.

_Maybe I just want things to be like the things Riku writes. __That sort of excitement…that odd commitment_. The brunet exited the lonely elevator, waving off the black haired man as the doors closed.

And that was where he found himself. Right in front of Riku's apartment door. Yes, they were dating. And _yes_ he had spent the night before last here. Sora cleared his throat and nervously knocked on the door, sheepishly lowering his gaze to the ground. He didn't know why he was so nervous. It was just him visiting Riku, that was all. Sora kept telling himself that over and over as the door opened.

"What do you—" Riku began in an annoyed tone before pausing all together. Aquamarine eyes caught sight of Sora and at once his voice and gaze softened. "Oh," he said airily, chuckling to himself. "Hey, Sora."

Sora lifted his eyes from the floor and locked them with Riku's. Why was he here again? Just to see Riku? To seek his protection and warmth? Sora didn't know why, but he needed to be _here_, _close_ to Riku. So close that he couldn't breathe without inhaling Riku's beautiful scent. "Hi," Sora whispered in response.

"I didn't know you were coming over," Riku said cautiously, his body being merely covered with a pair of sweatpants. Sora's eyes greedily raked over Riku's shirtless chest. God, he loved that body so much.

"Uhm…" Sora felt nervous and at the same time excited. "I wanted to see you, that's all," he concluded, a small smile tweaking onto his lips. It was simple; he missed his boyfriend and desired to spend time with him. Logical and plausible.

"Oh," Riku answered and nodded. "Well, come in. I have work at around eleven…so I can't stay here with you long. And I sort of need to take a shower, but you're welcome to come in and hang around."

Sora nodded and stepped inside, closing the door behind himself. Riku's apartment. He wouldn't mind living there. But he knew that Cloud would never approve of such an idea and Riku probably was better off living by himself. Moving in with Riku meant that they were taking their relationship to the next level, despite the fact that they had been happiest when they were living together previously. It was confusing to him, really.

"Sleep well?" Riku questioned as he stretched his arms above his head, yawning a bit.

Sora marched over and promptly sat down on Riku's couch—the one he and Riku had madeout on quite a bit. The memory made a pretty blush surface on his face. "Hm?" He turned his head to look at Riku, brown hair falling in front of his eyes. Haircut. He needed one…but he refused to do such. "Yeah. No better than any other night." _I sort of missed sleeping beside you…_

"That's good," Riku responded simply and sat down.

"You look like you just woke up," Sora stated gently as he began poking the cushion beneath him, a steady blush remaining on his face. It was so odd to be back here but not _living_ here or even _spending the night_. It felt as if something was off. He didn't press on that issue that much. Best to leave things be.

"I did," Riku chuckled as he took a seat beside his boyfriend. "I'm a sleep whore, I admit it." He smiled deviously over at Sora, the brunet's heart warming towards him when he beheld his aquamarine eyes withdrawn under his brows. He was giving him that _look_.

"Heh. Sleep is good," the brunet reasoned simply. His eyes began to wander without purpose throughout the other's lavish room. Sora noticed the pre-eminent look in his boyfriend's eyes. A blush swept across his face. His feet made a scuttling motion on the carpet beneath him.

"I'm glad you came over," Riku divulged, a hand flying out gracefully. Said hand landed on Sora's shoulder, almost at once noticing the tense muscles beneath it. It was a bit demoralizing. "Sora, you okay?"

"I'm fine," Sora said softly, willing himself to relax. "I just…I don't know." He lowered his gaze. "I don't know what to say. Things just kinda feel awkward…" He had never been in this serious of a relationship before. Hell, he had never _been_ in one prior to this. What was he expected to do? To say? Was he allowed to speak his mind? Why were things awkward? Did that go away?

"Relax," Riku urged, encouragingly brushing his hand along Sora's face—it had left its post on the boy's shoulder.

"I'll try," Sora answered, his voice barely treading above a whisper.

"It's okay to feel nervous at first. I always felt that way when I was starting out," he chuckled, dismissively dispelling the cloud that had settled between the pair. "Just remember how your heart feels. That's all you can do." The silveret's hand continued gently stroking Sora's cheek until it came to carefully caressing said cheek, holding it in his palm adoringly.

Sora didn't want to tell Riku one of the reasons why he was so jittery today. His gaze fell down, concealing thousands of secrets that he wished he could share with the man beside him. Is it okay to do things? Is it okay to let Zexion mess with my mind? Is it okay? He remained silent, as is duck tape was strewn across his pale lips. Why bother the silveret with such trivial things when he had so much to worry about—taxes, bills, a job…

"Sora," Riku said, breaking through the silence like glass shattering. "You look like something's wrong…what happened? Is Cloud giving you a hard time about yesterday?" he asked, his hand running from Sora's cheek to the boy's tanned, pointed chin. Carefully, he pivoted the younger's face so that their eyes could meet. Demanding eyes met nervous ones.

"I'm fine. Just feeling a bit sick I guess," he lied, averting his gaze from Riku's. He knew Riku wouldn't buy that so he divulged, "Just worried how long Cloud and Leon will be together." It was something small that was bothering him, but he figured he could afford to tell him that than to confess about anything else.

"Probably awhile," Riku said and appeared contemplative for a moment. "Yeah, awhile."

"That's good," Sora exhaled, an odd sense of peace overcoming his person. "I don't want them to breakup ever. They're just so perfect for each other. I can see it on their faces. They'll last forever, I bet."

"People _do_ breakup, Sora," Riku pointed out, his eyes averting themselves from Sora's. "It's just a fact of life. They may be happy now, maybe for a few months, but people usually end up breaking up. Things aren't always perfect."

Sora frowned. For some reason, the stress of Zexion and the uneasiness with Riku made him just blurt out, "Just because it didn't work with Cloud doesn't mean we're not going to stay together!"

Riku froze, his gaze slowly trickling back to Sora. His eyes drilled holes into Sora's pure ones. "Sora, I wasn't implying that we're going to be breaking up. I was just saying that every relationship has its ups and downs and that things aren't always perfect. People breakup, you know that. We did, after all. But sometimes they get back together." He nudged the younger in the shoulder; a crafty smirk finally appearing on Riku's refined lips.

"I suppose," Sora breathed out, turning a soft shade of red from the gesture. "I swear, I'll hurt you if we break up again," he warned, now flashing Riku a dangerous look. "I'll hunt you down and…and do something bad!"

"Bad? How vague," Riku chuckled, lacing his hands together as he leaned against the back of the couch. "Please explain what you consider to be bad."

"I'll uh… do something! I'm just not going to tell you because that'd ruin the surprise! Besides, it's so bad that words couldn't possibly do it justice!" The brunet flashed his older boyfriend a truly cheesy look. This was rewarded with a hearty, true laugh from the other. It was times like these that both males were truly thankful for the things that had happened between them to get this far.

"You're something else, Sora," Riku stated through deep laughs. His arm slung around his boyfriend's shoulder, comfortingly holding him close to his side. "But I wouldn't have you any other way." He was finally starting to realize, slowly, that perhaps Sora was the best choice after all. Cloud had broken his heart and was with Leon. Sora was here. It all made sense.

"As are you," Sora giggled, sticking his nose up high. He flinched in surprise when Riku kissed the tip of his nose. _Unexpected_, was the only thought that ran through the youth's head as he went cross-eyed for a moment, trying to inspect the spot that had been graced by Riku's lips.

"I'd love to sit here and talk with you forever, Sora, but I have to take a shower and get ready for work," he explained, patting Sora on the head. His fingers tugged and ruffled at the brunet's hair before finally letting go. The taller gracefully stood up and stretched his stiff arms above his head, yawn slipping out from his closed lips.

"Oh, okay," Sora responded, a hair bit disappointed that the smooth, flowing conversation was ending so soon. It was rare that they actually talked so openly and calmly and…just not so awkwardly. It felt different—it felt nice.

"Unless you want to come with me?" A brow arched.

"To work?" Sora guessed, his own furry brown eyebrow quirking. It wasn't unusual, by any means, that Sora followed the other to work.

"I was implying the shower but sure, works as well," Riku laughed and smirked down at the brunet. "So how about you answer my question. Want to come with?"

Sora turned a maroon color. His throat tightened and all he could think was just how awkward it would be to be naked in front of Riku, in the shower. He was so damn self conscious about his body and everything so what were the odds that he'd let Riku see him naked so soon? The brunet fidgeted and averted his gaze, a nervous shiver slipping down his spine. "I…"

"We can keep our boxers on if that'll make you feel better," Riku said calmly, looking to Sora with a worried look. Oddly, his innocence turned the taller on. It was a backwards way of feeling, Riku supposed.

"I'm…scrawny and you're gonna hate my body," he mumbled, hunching his shoulders as he looked away, once more, from the silveret. "I'm all bony and just ew. You'll be repulsed from the sight of me."

"That's not true," Riku reasoned, shaking his head. "And even if it was, it wouldn't matter. I like you for the person you are." He reached out and took Sora's hand, promptly lifting him off the couch and into a standing position. "Besides, we're dating. You can trust me. I'm not going to do anything you wouldn't want me to."

Sora nodded hazily. When he had first come over here he had no idea that they would end up showering together. Numbly, Sora nodded for a second time before finally stating, "Fine." It was a simple, one word response but that was all the other needed.

Riku tugged Sora merrily down the hallway and into the familiar bathroom. Once there, he shut the door and let go of Sora's shaking hand. The trembles were bothering Riku. "Sora," he said, placing a hand onto Sora's shoulder. "Relax. Please?"

Sora willed himself to stop shaking. "Just nervous, that's all."

"Nothing to be nervous about," Riku laughed, leaning closer to grace Sora's right cheek with a kiss. "It'll be like we're going to the pool and swimming together, you know? Like in swimming trunks."

_But the shower is a more intimate place,_ Sora thought absently as he forced a smile. "I know, it's just…I've never done something like this before. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," Riku insisted as he placed both hands this time onto Sora's shoulders. "I know you're nervous. I wouldn't expect anything else from you. We're taking things slow and I'm totally okay with that, okay?" He also forced a rare smile. "So please, don't be so nervous. I hate seeing you shake like that."

Sora breathed out deeply and took a quick breath in. He could do this. "All right." Sora whispered. Weakly, he placed his hands down onto the hem of his shirt. His fingers toyed with it for a moment. "Can you…look away as I take it off?" he requested. He had qualms about Riku watching him strip. It was too…intimate of a thing. He wasn't ready for something that straightforward.

"Sure thing?" Riku said uncertainly and turned around, going to work at removing his own shirt.

Sora sighed and tugged his shirt off, the fabric catching on the spikes. A cold rush of air greeted his chest and he already felt utterly exposed. Sora forced himself to continue as his hands rested over the button to his jean. He could do this. He could prove to Riku that he could be in a serious relationship and take steps to make it better, to make it closer. Sora fumbled with the button and when it snapped undone, he felt a wave of new nerves enter him.

By the time Sora had managed to touch his own zipper with shaking fingers, Riku was already stripped down to his own, black boxers. He remained with his pale back to Sora, respecting Sora's request. This surprised Sora slightly and the brunet did his best to unzip the jeans and tug them off his hips and down the expanse of his legs. He kicked them away from his ankles and hugged his arms tightly to his body. So exposed. He felt so entirely exposed now.

"Done?" Riku asked with a hint of anxiety detectable in his voice.

"Y-yeah," Sora stated.

The silveret turned around and his gaze at once softened as well as trailed up and down Sora's body. "Beautiful," he stated his mental thought aloud, eyes raking over the not so prominent, but still there, curves of his boyfriend. It was almost like an angel. He couldn't believe it was real. But he did. He forced himself to look away, not wanting to make Sora any more uncomfortable.

The silveret turned to the shower and undid the small door. He gestured for Sora to get in. Sora timidly did so and leaned against the back wall of the shower, keeping his arms tight to his body. Riku got in a moment after and shut the door behind himself. Silence. Riku didn't say anything as he turned on the water, the jets hitting the silveret at first. He said nothing as he adjusted the temperate to moderately warm. Finally, he turned around and tugged Sora close to him, arms looping around the brunet's waist.

"Heh…" Sora began uneasily, his bare chest almost being pressed flush to Riku's. Shyly, he looked up. "Feels nice," he commented quietly, nudging his head upwards to show that he was speaking about the water. And the arms around him felt nice. Those hands on his bare back, though, where Riku's arms looped together. It felt a bit…warmer than he thought it would be. Was that normal?

They were silent for a moment. Sora's nerves returned in the awkward, wordless moments.

"So uh…about that shampoo," Sora said softly, looking up to Riku. He met his gaze and shut his mouth promptly. That look Riku was giving him. He nearly melted. "I…uhm…"

Riku stopped Sora's stammer by leaning closer. He kissed him swiftly, laying his lips fully down onto Sora's. The brunet's eyes fluttered shut and he leaned closer to him, chests now resting against one another. Riku's arms tightened around the brunet, keeping him against him. A few kisses were shared before Sora shyly pulled his lips away, averting his gaze.

"You're amazing," Riku noted, kissing Sora's cheek now.

Sora flushed. "I…wouldn't say that, Riku."

Riku promptly shook his head in silent refusal. The kisses continued, along his cheek, down his jaw, and then onto his neck. Sora writhed, pleasure entering him. For some reason, he had no protests whatsoever to this action. "Sora," Riku began, giving a small suck to the water-coated neck, "I want to make you feel as good."

Sora blinked in confusion. "Huh?"

Riku winced from the fact that Sora didn't understand. The silveret sighed and kissed Sora's neck again, relishing in the way the brunet pushed his back to the wall, arching his neck in response to the attentive kisses. God did he love the way Sora sounded when he kissed him like that. "Can we try something new?" he murmured against the boy's neck.

Sora froze. "I…" _Showers always lead to something else_.

"Please, Sora?" Riku whispered; lips trailing up and down the neck. They felt so good and it was just so damn hard to deny them. "It'll feel amazing. I promise you that."

"Riku… I'm not sure," Sora whispered honestly, the water hitting his legs increasingly harder. Either Riku's water temperature had gone crazy or he was just getting warmer and warmer by the moment. He wasn't sure which it was. Regardless, when he turned his head to the right, staring embarrassedly at the shower walls, he felt Riku's intense gaze upon him once more.

"Don't worry," Riku cooed, his hands resting on the waistband of his boyfriend's boxers. "I promise I won't do anything to hurt you, Sora. Never," he whispered soothingly, his fingers hooking under the waistband.

"I…No one has…I…" Sora felt a mixed wave of anxiety and nerves flood through his body. The hot water continued to hit his already scorching body. No one had ever seen him entirely naked before. At least not in his now mature state. Sora felt a bit weak as Riku remained close. The very idea of Riku seeing him _naked_ caused a weary feeling to spread across the brunet. Was this right?

"It'll feel good," Riku reassured Sora once more. The silveret offered a beautiful smirk as he leaned impossibly closer, pushing Sora harder against the back wall. The brunet squeaked as Riku's lips found his own yet again.

At once they both were engaged into a heated debate. Riku's lips nipped and rolled ardently against the brunet's, his body arching insistently against Sora. After a moment of kissing, Sora's hands found their way into Riku's drenched silver hair. Cautiously, he tangled his fingers around the damp hair and gave an experimental tug. Riku's gentle moan into their kiss caused Sora to sharply close his eyes, a blush dancing onto his face.

Riku's tongue slid along Sora's bottom lip, flicking up and down as it went. A strangled and almost nervous moan fell from Sora's lips as he parted his lips approvingly. This was comfortable. By now Sora was used to their intense kissing but… but being almost entirely naked against Riku was causing a new sort of anxiety. Regardless, he shrugged it off and eagerly returned the kiss, his tongue shyly rubbing against Riku's that had now brushed a few inches into his mouth.

Riku's chest against his….it was too good to be true. The silveret pressed closer, their chests now fully being compressed against one another. Moans fell from both males' lips and Sora's hands dropped from Riku's hair and down onto the older's shoulder. With a needy mew, he gripped tightly onto Riku's shoulders, keeping their mouths tightly pressed to one another's.

Figuring that it'd be best to get Sora worked up and _aroused_, the silveret brushed his hand down along Sora's chest. His dexterous fingers traced every single contour of his younger lover's chest. Fingers rubbed tediously along the two pink nubs. At once, Sora's body squirmed and twisted against Riku's, sounds of evident pleasure leaking from his lips.

Riku broke their kiss and sucked in a large amount of air. "You're so beautiful," he commented lazily, laying a kiss to Sora's cheek and then to his neck.

"Riku…" Sora panted his neck arching. The kisses to his neck felt so damn good and Riku had promised him that it'd feel good and he wouldn't hurt him… He moaned quietly and continued squirming.

"May I?" Riku asked, his hand resting gently onto the now forming curve on Sora's boxers. His fingers gave an experimental squeeze, conveying that he simply only wanted this simple form of pleasuring for the time being.

"I…" Sora looked to the right, body hot and his mind nervous. No one had ever done these things to him before. "…Keep the boxers on, please…"

Riku sighed, nodded, and then kissed Sora, hoping to ease away his nerves. And he did. By the time Sora climaxed into the other's hand, he had lost all feelings of nerves and fear.

Perhaps these things weren't as bad as they seemed. Sora fell against Riku, a pile of complete tired submission. His head rested against the other's chest as he panted weakly. Things felt right. Being with Riku felt right. Things were going well for once in his life.

**x**xxxxxx**x**

Sora sat rather shyly in the corner booth of the jazz club. Riku was off working the tables and bar and Sora was left to himself. Even now Sora's face beamed radiantly, giving anyone that looked at him the idea that he was _extremely_ happy over something. The brunet ducked his spiky head down into the square his folded arms on the table made. His cheeks were hot red and he kept replaying the scene over and over in his head. Sure, at first he was uneasy and felt like being sick from nerves, but then when he told himself that he really did care about Riku and that he trusted him, it all started to feel better. And that orgasm. Sora shivered at the mere memory of it. Riku had been so attentive and…and Sora didn't realize a release could be that damn powerful. He nearly had fainted from the amazing aftershocks that had coursed through his body. Riku was, by no means, an amateur at hand jobs, he took it. If _that_ had felt that amazing, Sora absently wondered how other things would feel. He stopped there, not wanting to put himself into a compromising situation.

Sora felt a bit bad that he hadn't returned the favor, but he figured in time he'd become more comfortable with the general idea. Touching Riku that intimately scared the teen. Even now, after earlier, the idea of Riku touching him like that still made him feel a bit nervous—but more so tingly and fidgety and _a good nervous_. The brunet mumbled something to himself and nestled his face more into his arms. He was thinking too much again.

Sora was torn away from his daydreams when the booth cushion he sat upon moved a bit. Someone had sat down beside him. The brunet lifted his gaze, expecting it to be either Riku, Naminé, or Roxas, but was genuinely surprised when he realized it was Riku's brother. Wait. Why was he here? Did Riku know? What the hell?

"May I help you?" Sora asked softly, fitting off the blush that seemed to follow him all day. He had to keep the thoughts of Riku touching him like that at bay until this man went away.

"I was wondering if I could speak to you for a few moments," the older silveret stated, taking out a notepad from his jacket. He looked as serious as ever and Sora began to doubt that Riku even knew he was here. This booth was mostly out of view and Sora figured that Riku didn't want Sephiroth around him for some reason. Wasn't he a part of the police or something?

"About?" asked Sora, tilting his head.

"Regarding the gang murders that have been plaguing New York City for the past few months," Sephiroth stated simply as he removed a pen from another pocket. He uncapped it and then tapped it idly on the small notepad he had earlier taken out.

"I'm sorry but I don't know—" Sora began, confusing spreading through him.

Sephiroth cleared his throat. "I believe you do."

"No?" Sora was confused. Gang murders? Why would he even have a part in those? Why would this man suspect him of this? "I've barely even heard about them. I'm sorry but I—"

"I saw the files on his computer," Sephiroth explained, lacing his hands together. "My partner is a marvelous hacker. He got into the dick's email history, the deleted one, anyhow, and found the emails. He traced them and it came up as you. You were putting yourself into a very dangerous situation, Sora. And from what I saw of that last email, you're still in that same one."

Sora shifted uncomfortably. "It's nothing…he's just trying to scare me." It was over. He didn't want to dramatize this. Things with Zexion were over. They had been ever since that day that Riku had saved him so heroically.

"Does my brother know of the email?" he asked, glancing over his shoulder to the other side of the café where Riku was busy talking to some customer. Sephiroth looked back to Sora. "If he did, I doubt he'd be here. He'd probably be off choking the cold bastard."

"Wait. Are you…implying that Zexion is part of this…gang of killers?" Sora questioned, slowly trying to put the pieces together in his head. If Zexion was part of the gang, no wonder he was willing to kill them both so ruthlessly. It made sense. Gangs usually shared a common goal. And killings were apparently this one's'. Stupid, stupid Sora.

"Yes, I am," Sephiroth clarified. "And I would appreciate it if you further cooperated with the police department on tracking down this gang. The Organization is what they call themselves. What a fucked up name," he murmured, trailing off towards the end. He looked distracted by something. Perhaps his troubling thoughts?"

"If you need to know anything, I'll tell you," Sora stated, looking hopefully at the silveret.

"We need you to keep in contact with him."

Sora's heart dropped. "W-what?" _No. I can't do that. I can't just keep talking to the person who nearly killed me and Riku. __And my parents.__ No. No, no, no. Cant' do this. I'm trying to cope. Please don't make me_.

"We need him to say something in the email that will give us enough proof to hire a warrant on him to search his home for drugs and weapons. Then we can further investigate into the murders. Sora, I am asking you this as not only as an officer but as a newly made acquaintance. I need your help. Putting one away in prison will help…"

"I'll…try my best. Just please, don't make me meet him again." He looked away harshly.

"I know. My brother vaguely told me about it," he responded and shrugged. "Riku's always attracted the troubled friends who seem to get themselves into bad situations," he sighed.

Sora laughed uneasily and lowered his gaze again. "If I get him to say something in the email, I won't have to take further part in this investigation, right? I hate this sort of thing and it just…it's just not something I was to be involved with. You understand, right?" he asked, hoping that Riku's brother would have a thread of consideration in him.

"Once you play your part you don't ever have to speak to the thing again," Sephiroth confirmed.

"Thank you," Sora breathed out. His gaze wandered over to Riku. "Does Riku have to know?"

Sephiroth looked over to his brother as well. "If you'd prefer he didn't, then no. Though, I am curious…why don't you want him to know?"

Sora shrugged. "He risked his life to save me from Zexion. I doubt he'll appreciate me talking to him again, even if it is to help put him away for good." The brunet looked back to the older silveret of the two brothers and sighed heavily. "Just please, don't tell him."

"I won't," Sephiroth promised. "Thank you for your cooperation, Sora." He extended his hand. Sora shook it promptly. "I'll keep in touch via email if I learn anything new." He got up.

"All right," answered Sora as he nodded to the man.

"Until then."

**x**xxxxxx**x**


	19. day twentyeight

victory is mine at last!  
okay, so no, i didn't abandon this story, obviously. i just had writer's block, and was debating between two endings.  
I think i know how i'm going to end this now.  
so it's only going to be around one or two more chapters...yes.  
ahem. i hope you like this chapter. there's some cleon. yes.  
and uhm, yes. enjoy.  
**ALSO! this chapter is dedicated to my lovely friend.** this chapter should have been updated on her birthday but i got caught up and couldn't finish it.  
So this is for _you,_ my dear. happy belated birthday!

**By Chance**

Sora stood hesitantly outside of Riku's house. His fingers curled restlessly into his palm, digging at the soft skin. He gulped and kept his blue gaze locked with the door. He hadn't spoken with Riku since yesterday, since that shower incident. The brunet gulped for a second time and ran his tongue along his lips. Memories flooded his mind, ephemeral but powerful. His eyes fluttered shut accidentally as he lowered his fist. Perhaps he should just come back later when he knew for certain that his boyfriend would be up. Or would it just be better to knock? Knocking now would allow him to spend the entire day with Riku—and keep Sephiroth's proposition regarding the 'gang' issue off his mind. Seriously, why did he want _him_, a simple _boy_, to help in a criminal case? It seemed a bit callous.

Before Sora even had time to knock, the door opened. Amused aquamarine eyes met his startled blue ones that opened instantaneously. Sora eyed his boyfriend for a moment. "How did you know I was here?..."

"Heard you walking to my door, then the very gentle first knock, and then heard you breathing," Riku hummed, listing off the details precisely, one by one. His eyebrows waggled and he leaned casually against the door-frame, wearing nothing but grey boxers.

Sora's eyes instantly dropped and swam over his boyfriend's perfectly chiseled body. "Uh…"

"Get in here before my balls freeze," Riku murmured amusedly. He stepped aside and held the door open for Sora, green eyes never leaving the young boy's body.

Sora gladly entered, hugging his arms tightly to his body. He was wearing his everyday outfit—t-shirt and baggy pants—nothing too extravagant. Then again, Riku's boxer-clad body made the brunet feel a bit overdressed for the occasion. But what was the occasion, exactly? Breakfast, perhaps? Regardless, the teen trotted over to Riku's couch and sat down beside the silveret. Silence swarmed between the pair for a few minutes that were tracked by the clock on the opposing wall.

"So, you're over here early," Riku noted. "Any particular reason?"

Sora licked his lips. "Is it so bad that I want to see my boyfriend?" he huffed, bottom lip sticking out.

Riku chuckled and laced his arms behind his head. He reclined some and propped his feet up on the coffee table. Silver hair draped diaphanously over his shoulders, glimmering effulgently in the morning light. "It's not a bad thing," he began and traced his sinewy fingers through his silver tresses, "it's a nice sentiment, actually."

"Then why'd you ask?" Sora murmured and cocked a brow.

"I don't know. You just don't seem like the type, no offense. You seem like the independent and headstrong boyfriend, not the kind that is openly affectionate and—I can't describe it, I apologize," he mumbled and rubbed the base of his neck.

Sora's brow arched further. "So basically, you didn't expect me to take things this seriously?"

Riku blanched. "_Hell _no, not at all. I just meant that I thought you'd be the type to—Okay, I'm just going to shut up. I'm sorry. It all came out wrong. I just wasn't expecting you to come here. It surprised me. I'm happy. Really, I am. Usually I am the one that has to go out of their way to keep things together…it's a nice change."

Sora blinked. "…Oh."

"Yeah…" Riku trailed off and coughed awkwardly. "I hate how I always sound rude," he groaned.

"You just need to word things better," Sora mused and casually leaned against Riku's side, head propping up on the elder's shoulder when his arms fell down. "You're comfy…"

Riku smirked and wrapped an arm possessively around the brunet. "Ah, why thank you, Sora," he hummed and kissed the top of his boyfriend's head. He felt heat radiate off the teen's cheeks and he simply chuckled deeply in his throat, enamored by Sora.

"There…is something I wanted to talk to you about, though," Sora confessed and snuggled closer out of habit.

Riku cocked his head to the right. "What's that?"

"…Yesterday," Sora murmured. He hoped that Riku would get the idea.

Riku paused to remember. "Ah…you mean the hand job?"

Sora scrunched his nose up. "I was trying to be polite, but you just _have_ to be vulgar and blunt," he pouted jokingly but nodded regardless. "I'm sorry I…over-reacted, Riku. It meant a lot to me, it really did. I hope I didn't give you the impression that I don't trust you or anything. I'm just really…self conscious."

Riku nodded understandingly. "Sora, you're beautiful," he reasoned and kissed Sora's brown hair again.

"_That's_ not beautiful," he muttered embarrassedly.

"If you would let me see it, I bet I'd disagree," Riku mused in a sing-song voice, eyebrows dancing about on his broad forehead.

Sora blushed hotly. "Pervert," he scoffed and rolled his eyes. "You will, eventually, I guess. Just don't push it, _okay_?" Nod. "And another thing! I feel bad that you only pleasured me! I mean, weren't you uh…oh what's that word? Needy, too?" he whispered, voice becoming quieter by the moment.

"I was," Riku divulged and shrugged. He kept Sora close, though. "It didn't matter, though. I've experienced my share of orgasms. This was your first induced by someone else. I wanted to focus on you. So don't feel bad, _okay_?" A smirk.

Sora rolled his eyes again and hid his face against Riku's side. "Right…"

"God, you're so cute," Riku stated and held Sora closer to his side, burying his nose into the youth's hair.

"…Not really," Sora muttered in defiance. He knew that Riku would object so he didn't really state his retort all that loudly.

"I'm really glad you came over," Riku said and ran his pale hand daintily down Sora's arms. "I like waking up to find you at my door. Waking up beside you would be far better, but I really doubt that Cloud would allow that." He chuckled after that and gulped. He knew that Cloud would murder him if he convinced Sora to move out.

"Aha…he'd maim you if you took me away from him," Sora murmured and smiled up at the silveret. "And then he'd bury you under our apartment, in that old basement that smells like catfood…yeah, it sucks down there. I used to have to go down there for storage things and—"

"…You're rambling," Riku laughed and kissed Sora's forehead with an eye roll.

Sora shrugged. "So? I do that often."

"I know," Riku said and smiled, watching Sora attempt to stare at the spot on his head that Riku had kissed; so damn cute.

Sora sighed and closed his eyes, snuggling close. "Jerkface…"

Riku laughed some more. A thought occurred to him. He gulped restlessly. "Hey, Sora?..."

"Hrm?..." Sora yawned, trailing off some. "What's up?"

"Would you ever hate me?"

Sora's eyes fluttered open and he stared at the parallel wall. His eyebrows knitted together in confusion and slight trepidation. "What'd you do, Riku?" He knew full well that Riku wouldn't have asked that if he was innocent. The silveret had to have done something…and that terrified Sora more than anything. And they were getting along so damn well, too…

Riku inhaled deeply. "Stay here, okay?..." He eased off the couch.

Sora felt his stomach do flip-flops as he watched his boyfriend leave the room. The innards of his body churned and knotted and his limbs felt like falling off. His throat tightened and he gripped the cushions, attempting to keep a calm demeanor. It wasn't working. "What could he have done _already_?..."

When Riku returned, with his hands behind his back, Sora just stared at him, scandalized.

Riku sat down, hands still behind his back. "Listen Sora, I'm sorry I'm just…telling you this now. I know I'm a selfish jerk but I just had to get this off my chest. I don't want you to figure it out and yeah, and then hate me and—"

"I swear to god, Riku, if this is about Cloud again I'm going to—" Sora began, voice weak and threatening to break.

Riku's eyes widened. He dropped whatever was behind his back and instantly allowed his hands to latch onto the brunet's shoulders. "God Sora, no. This has nothing to do about Cloud. This has nothing to do about cheating or my past relationships or anything. Nothing at all, I promise you…" He watched as relief flooded into the brunet's eyes. "Sora…"

"I'm sorry," Sora murmured. "I shouldn't have accused you of that. God, I'm a bad boyfriend."

"No, it's fine," Riku inserted quickly and gave the brunet a quick kiss to the cheek when his ramblings became too superfluous.

"If it's not about another guy, then what is it?...You don't have a nasty disease, right?" Sora was becoming more mystified by the moment.

"No," Riku laughed some and shook his head. His hands slid from Sora's shoulders and went back behind his back. "Before you say _anything_, let me tell the entire story, okay? Promise?"

Sora nodded.

Riku inhaled deeply and brought the maroon colored notebook out into his lap. He watched as Sora's eyes tripled in size. His mouth hung open, about to exclaim, but it shut rapidly. He seemed to remember his promise at once. Sora looked up, searching Riku's eyes for answers. He looked terrified, like a deer caught in the headlights. He gulped and waited. Just waited.

"The day you came over, I was on the subway with Naminé. You did say that's how you got my…journal, right?" Nod. "Well, I guess we by accident got our notebooks mixed up. I was going to give it to you the first night you came here, but we weren't really on good terms. So I just kept it and read it. I learned so much about you from it. About your life, and about who you really were. I know you were startled when we became friends so rapidly…well, accredit that to the diary. It was like an insight into _you_. I felt like after every word I read, I knew you better. I just had to get to know you better for real. I kept telling myself I'd give you the journal back, but then feared that if I gave it back to you, you'd be upset with me…"

"So you had it all along," Sora murmured.

"Yeah…that's how I knew where you were. At Zexion's. I hadn't read that entry until that day. If I had…Sora, I could have saved us both from that." He sighed and shrugged. "I'm sorry I didn't give it back to you the day you gave me my back…I guess I have my own fears, huh?"

Sora nodded some. "Done?"

"Yup, I think so," Riku concluded and rubbed the nape of his neck. "Now, you have the right to hate me. I know I'm not the model citizen, friend, boyfriend, lover, even, but I do care about you."

Sora rolled his eyes and gingerly snatched his diary back. "Well, you may have lied to me about my diary, but you still gave it back to me," the brunet cooed and leaned closer to Riku, nose scrunching up. "I think you deserve to be forgiven."

Riku chuckled deeply, relief pouring through his laughter. "May I have a kiss as well?"

"And you're being so polite, too!" Sora laughed, blushing hotly at the suggestion. "Are you trying to butter me up for something, Ri-ku?"

Riku rolled his eyes and promptly took the diary from his boyfriend. He carefully set it on the coffee table. "If I were trying to butter you up, I would have done something completely extravagant. And if I was buttering you up for anything, it'd be for a hot night over here."

"Riku!" Sora squeaked and hid his face in his boyfriend's shoulder.

"So-ra!" Riku cooed and wrapped his arms tightly around Sora.

"Stop being so romantic!" Sora warned and continued burying his face into Riku's shoulder. "It's making me blush and stuff."

"Still so innocent," Riku laughed and kissed the top of Sora's hair. The brown spikes tickled his nose and he laughed some more. "You still blush when we kiss?"

"A bit," Sora admitted as he hunched his shoulders. "I told you, this is my first _true_ relationship and I like you a lot and uh…your smile makes me nervous and I can't help but blush and…er…" Sora trailed off, voice being muffled by Riku's skin.

"That's fine," Riku decided and nudged his nose against Sora's hair playfully. "I like you the way you are."

Sora sighed pleasantly and peeked up to stare at his boyfriend. His cheeks stained a dark red and he shyly placed his hand on the older's shoulders. A smile leaked onto his lips as he stared into endless pools of aquamarine. The older's scent captivated him, made his head spin, and his body feel weak. Sapphire hues drooped slightly as he just sat there, for the most part in Riku's lap. His breath hitched out of nowhere. Riku arched a brow at the breathing change. Sora blushed harder and remained frozen, unable to initiate a kiss. He averted his gaze but kept his face close to the silveret's. And Riku wasn't going to start a kiss this time—he wanted Sora to.

Sora peeked back at the silver-haired male and smiled nervously again. With a deep breath, his eyes slid shut and he pressed closer. Arms slackened as he kissed his boyfriend. His lithe body surged with pleasure. A smile appeared on Sora's lips at his newfound courage and pleasure.

Riku returned the kiss pleasantly as his hands laced together at the small of Sora's back. "You're beautiful," he whispered airily into the exchange. His sharp eyes remained closed and glazed over behind pale eyelids.

Sora didn't answer. All the brunet did was mesh their lips together again. He loved kissing Riku. He loved it so much. His toes curled and he relaxed into Riku's lap.

"I want you to stay the night," Riku whispered into the kiss, hands exploring Sora's back above his shirt.

Sora blushed. "I'll…talk to Cloud," he murmured into the kiss, leaning further into the kiss. "Okay?..."

"Okay," Riku cooed and continued kissing Sora, not about to stop anytime soon. And he didn't. He didn't let Sora go for another _entire_ hour.

He was falling hard for his first love's brother, and he didn't give a fuck anymore.

**-xxxxxxx-**

"I was talking to Sora the other night," Leon began. His burly body shifted away from the garden railing in Central Park. Stoic eyes wandered over to his boyfriend who seemed quite preoccupied with a few figures in the distance. They were people neither of the males knew, but that didn't stop Cloud from staring off into space, eying the pair. When Leon received no answer to his statement, the brunet tapped the blond on his shoulder.

Cloud broke from his stupor and looked to Leon. "Hm?"

"You have that look again," Leon reasoned and folded his arms to his chest. His body leaned back against the grey rail, trying to get comfortable.

"What look?" Cloud quipped. He winced when he realized he had sounded a bit too defensive. "What look?" he posed again, far less harsh.

"Something's on your mind," Leon stated simply and watched Cloud for any change in demeanor. "Ever since Riku and Sora broke up the first time, you've been acting strangely. I talked to Sora about what happened…" He fell quiet.

Cloud bit his lip. "We were broken up," he stated slowly.

"I'm aware of that," Leon answered and looked up at the sky. "I just don't see why you can't leave that poor boy alone. Your relationship ended with him years ago—you told me that you never loved him. Why can't you let him be happy?"

"I wasn't aware that he was with my brother," Cloud stated slowly. His voice was indifferent, as if trying to conceal either uneasiness or jealously. Either or would be bad in such a situation.

"What if he wasn't with Sora?" Leon finally asked. "What if, hypothetically, Riku was single and so were you? Would you have dated him? Or would you have led him on?"

"Why do you want to know so badly? What happened between Riku and I is over," Cloud murmured and shrugged his shoulders. His blue gaze avoided Leon's, refusing to meet the disappointment in his boyfriend's eyes. "We never dated. We never loved each other. It wouldn't have worked. I only turned to him because he had _always_ been there. Whenever I broke up with someone, he was always there to talk to and—"

"And lead on," Leon finished.

Cloud winced and instinctively turned on his heel to stare at his cool boyfriend. "I wouldn't have lead Riku on, damnit, Leon! I'm done with him! I just… I don't know where my head was. I missed you, okay? I have a hard time admitting how I feel and I just…augh. Forget it." He turned harshly and shook his head, having said too much—having _reacted_ too much.

"Cloud…" Leon chewed on his bottom lip and placed a brawny hand onto the blond's shoulder. "I understand. I'm sorry for bringing it up."

Cloud sighed. "Do you think I'm weak?"

"Why would I?"

"For overreacting just then? For yelling at you," Cloud muttered voice as constant as ever. He spared a stray glance over his shoulder at his towering boyfriend. "Are you upset with me?"

"No," Leon answered curtly. Slowly, his strong arms curled around Cloud's waist. "Listen to me. I don't care about your past. I just care about the present. The now. I want whatever you felt with Riku to just vanish. He's your best friend, keep him as such. Let your brother handle the relationship on his own. Promise me you won't interfere."

Cloud sucked in a deep breath and turned around in Leon's arms. A small blush was on his face. "We shouldn't be doing this here, Leon. You know…" he began.

"I don't honestly care," Leon enlightened and promptly tightened his hold around Cloud. "I'm not like your ex's, Cloud. I'm not like them. I don't care about the public eye. I may not always look like it, sound like it, or act like it, but I care deeply about you. More than anything."

Cloud gulped, his heart pounding loudly from the confession. "…God, I love how you can such things with such a relaxed face…"

Leon cracked a smile. "Jealous?"

Cloud rolled his eyes and slowly eased into his boyfriend's public embrace. "Eh, perhaps," he reasoned and sighed pleasantly. "I'm sorry. I promise I won't bother them. I'll let Sora handle his relationship by himself."

Leon nodded. "Good."

"Just, if Sora gets hurt, I'm going to have Riku's head on a silver platter," he muttered darkly.

"I don't doubt it," Leon chuckled and kept Cloud tightly against him, despite the wandering, judgmental gazes. He didn't care. He never did—and he hoped Cloud wouldn't in the future either.

**-xxxxxxx-**

Sora relaxed into the booth of the jazz café. Riku was off working at the counter, Cloud was with Leon for the day, and Roxas and Axel were supposedly going to have dinner with him. Sora had asked his older brother earlier if he could spend the night at Riku's. At first, Cloud had vehemently denied the request, but upon further persistence, he caved in. Unknown to Sora, but Leon had helped with that decision—perhaps not directly, but certainly indirectly. And now Sora sat at the café, ready to consume dinner with a few newly acquired friends. After dinner he would head off to Riku's for the night. They'd watch some movies, laugh…kiss…touch… his cheeks burned and he hid behind his diary, despite how stupid it looked.

"Hey, Sora," Roxas greeted as he slid into the large booth across from the brunet, followed by the familiar red head.

Sora smiled in greeting and closed his diary. He quickly stashed it, along with the pen he had been writing with, into his backpack. "Hey guys, how are you doing?"

"Quite well," Roxas answered and nodded minimally. "We just got back from a play."

"A play?" Sora questioned as he tried to stifle a laugh. Roxas and Axel? Going to see a play? For some reason that situation seemed comical.

"What? It was good," Axel interjected and stared cat-like at the youthful brunet. "It wasn't a cheesy romance, if that's what you're thinking, pipsqueak."

Sora scrunched his nose up. "Pipsqueak?" he questioned skeptically.

"Axel, don't be rude to Riku's boyfriend," Roxas reminded and jokingly prodded his boyfriend in the side. His blue eyes shimmered deviously. Sora wasn't sure whether or not he _should_ understand their odd relationship or not. He decided upon the latter and smiled politely at them despite it all.

"What's with the backpack?" Axel inquired.

"Oh." Sora looked to his right at his green bag. "I'm going over Riku's for the night. I needed my things."

Axel smirked knowingly. "Ah. Then maybe I should give him one of these. I doubt he has any lying around his place," the redhead began. He pulled out a square, thin, small package to signify the 'one of these'. Roxas blanched and he quickly began scrambling around in the booth to steal the object back.

It took Sora a moment to recognize what it was. "W-why do you carry those with you?" His blush turned dark, dark, _dark._

"Well, Roxas here is quite the—" Axel began with a smirk as he tossed Sora the packaged condom just in time to receive an annoyed blond in his lap. "See what I mean?"

Sora laughed awkwardly and shyly looked down at the packet. He gulped and ran his thumb over it, body heating shakily. "Uhm…t-t-hanks? But I d-d-on't think we'll n-need it…"

"Oh, going raw, huh?" Axel mused as Roxas shifted off him and went back to his proper seat at the booth.

"Axel…" Roxas warned, eying the redhead darkly. "Stop being perverted."

"I just wanted to know," Axel sang and turned his gaze back to the blushing brunet. "If it's your first time, I advise that. It'll make you feel safer and all that jazz. Plus, it'll be less of a mess and less uncomfortable. You know, having Riku climax in y—"

"Stop!" Roxas stated harshly and whacked Axel upside the head with a grimace.

"What are you guys talking about?"

The table went silent as Riku seated himself beside Sora.

Sora squeaked and hid the packet in his pocket, heart racing. _No, no, no please don't notice my pocket. No, no, no._ The brunet looked shyly down at his menu and opened it for the first time that night. Now would be a wonderful time to find some food! For dinner! Because that's what you _do_ at dinner! Not pass around condoms and sex advice!

"Nothing," Axel hummed innocently and watched as Roxas stared at him with disbelief.

"It had to be something," Riku chuckled as he wrapped an arm possessively around the brunet. "Considering my Sora is blushing like a maniac and shoved something in his pocket."

"Riku, I wouldn't…" Roxas began, uncertain as to how the silveret and brunet would react.

Too late. Riku had sneaked a hand slyly into Sora's pocket and snatched the packet out. He brought it to his lap, to Sora's horrification. The brunet squeaked loudly, began flailing, and attempted to steal the condom back.

"No, no, no! Don't look at it!" Sora squeaked and tried to get the packet back before Riku realized what it was.

Also too late. Riku arched a brow as his usually pale and smirky cheeks turned scarlet. He hesitantly raised the square up into the air with his thumb and index finger. "Uhm…" the silveret began. He was speechless for the first time in quite awhile. "Sora?..."

"They gave it to me!" Sora explained and ducked his head down. He refused to let his boyfriend meet his gaze.

"I figured that it'd be a nice gesture," Axel explained calmly. He laced his hands together under his chin. "Considering he's spending the night at your place, and that Cloud would kick your ass if you made him _too_ sore. So yeah. Plus! It's one of those extra lubricated and scented kind! Lovely, really."

Sora continued growing in color.

Riku chuckled uneasily and eyed it. "I have some, you know…"

"Still? They're probably too old," Axel answered. He ignored the petrified stares he got from Sora and Roxas. "What?" he questioned finally. "It's just sex talk, my god. What are we? Thirteen? We're all mature _gays_ at this table. I think we all know what a condom is and what it's purpose is."

"Wow, Axel being mature. That's new," Roxas muttered and folded his arms to his chest.

"Of course we know what it is," Riku stated defensively and continued holding the object up, as if afraid to put it anywhere. "I just don't think you need to talk about it at a _dinner_ table. And so damn openly." The silveret looked to Sora who seemed quite shocked and shaky. Riku frowned. "Sor…" he whispered into the brunet's ear. "Relax, okay?"

Sora shivered at the whisper. He shyly looked back to his boyfriend and nodded. "I'm fine…just surprised, that's all."

"Yeah. Not every day that you're given a condom at a restaurant," Riku laughed and finally pocketed the damn thing. "Listen, I have to go back and work the counter. I just wanted to check up on you guys. But I guess I wandered in at the wrong part of this conversation."

"You could say that," Roxas stated and shook his head in disbelief.

"Well, have a nice dinner, Sora," he stated and slyly gave a squeeze to his boyfriend's knee. He got up, allowing his hand to slide up the entirety of the youth's leg before vanishing back into the restaurant, leaving Sora with permanent shivers and shudders. And a blush, too.

"Well, that was awkward," Axel joked and smiled at the two males. "Perhaps we should just order."

"Yes, let's."

And that's what they did. But even though the condom and the talk were gone, Sora couldn't help but wonder what Riku would do with the pocketed object. Would he just throw it away or…his body trembled and he found it hard to eat. Tonight was going to be more than awkward, he finally decided. More than awkward, indeed, considering he had never...seen a condom _used_ before. Aha…

**-xxxxxxx-**

Riku was in the shower cleaning off from work and Sora was on the couch. The brunet was busily writing down the month's events in the maroon diary. His eyes were heavy and he felt his heart beating erratically. With every word he wrote, he became that more nervous. But why was he nervous? Perhaps simply because he was reliving everything that had happened—all the devastation and greatness and fear.

Sora was about to begin writing about the…_shower_ incident when his cell phone rang. Sora quickly answered it, not bothering to check the number. He figured it was just Tidus. He was the only one other than Cloud that had the number. And Cloud _promised_ that he wouldn't call tonight and interrupt anything that may or may not happen. And of course, when Cloud had said that, Sora had blushed.

"Hello?" the brunet inquired and lounged further on Riku's couch.

"Is this Sora Kayaki?" Ah Sephiroth.

"Yep," Sora answered and paused. "Sephiroth?" he guessed. He would have addressed him more formally but he really didn't know any other name to call him.

"I was calling about an email…" Sephiroth stated slowly.

"What do you mean?" Sora sat up. "I haven't checked my emails since like…two days ago. What's there?" Right, he had given Sephiroth access to his email address so that he could monitor what Zexion was saying and whatnot, and hopefully get a reading on where the damn bastard was so he could pin him for an offense and send him to jail for once and for all.

"Zexion sent you an email at three today," Sephiroth explained. "I figure you haven't read it yet? Well, don't be alarmed, all right?"

Sora didn't care about what Sephiroth was saying. "Just get to the point. I'm really busy…"

"Zexion wants you to meet him tomorrow at the mall at four, Sora. It's an open place. He won't pull anything. I'm going to go with you and catch him." Sora's stomach dropped. "We caught the remaining gang members last night in a bust. Zexion is the last to go. And we finally are going to catch him and bring him down to the station to prove that he is responsible for—"

"At the mall," Sora repeated. "And you'll be there to protect me, _right_?"

"Of course," Sephiroth answered. "As well as a few other officers. Sora, you don't know how grateful everyone here would be if you cooperated. We're finally going to put an end to all of this. Demyx and I want to be the ones that put Zexion away for good."

Sora nodded slowly. "What if he knows it's a trap?"

"…then we'll be ready," Sephiroth responded after a delayed moment. "Don't worry. We have this taken care of, Sora."

"I want Riku to go with me," Sora finally confessed. "I want him in on this."

"…Riku?"

"Yes," Sora stated voice quiet and defeated. "I trust him more than anyone else…even more than my own brother. I want him there with me. I want him nearby when I talk to Zexion. If Riku doesn't help, then I'm not going to go through with this. Besides, I'll need to use his computer to respond to Zexion…"

"All right," Sephiroth sighed. "May I talk to my brother, then?"

"He's in the shower right now." Sora sat up some. "He'll be done in a few minutes. Call Riku's house phone, I'm low on minutes."

"All right," Sephiroth said. "Have a good night, Sora."

Sora muttered a goodbye and closed his cell-phone. He replayed the conversation countless times over and over in his head. The gang was captured. All except Zexion. Organization Thirteen was slowly diminishing. They just needed Zexion. And Sora was the only one that could bring Zexion out from his cave and catch him in the act. Catch him trying to seduce and hurt a minor. Sora inhaled deeply.

Riku left the bathroom a few moments later, towel wrapped around his waist. The silveret walked over and smirked at his boyfriend. "Evening, love," he greeted and sat down beside him.

Sora blushed when he realized that Riku was only wearing a very, very small towel. His throat tightened and he couldn't help but stare. "Oh, hi, Riku…"

"I needed to talk to you," Riku confessed. "It's about ear—" The phone rang. "..Let me go get that and we'll talk afterwards, okay?" Sora nodded. "Talk to you soon, love," he whispered and kissed the curve of Sora's neck and departed from the couch.

Sora shivered and closed his eyes. His breathing was shallow and his mind bounced between the conversation at the café and the situation with Sephiroth. His heart beat frantically and he had no idea what to do. What to do…he knew that when Riku learned from Sephiroth what was going on…the mood would break. And he doubted Riku would agree. So Sora sat there, in silence, awaiting his demise. Awaiting Riku's look of disappointment. And as he sat there, he realized something. And that just disappointed him. He wished he had never told Sephiroth to call, because…he was ready.

He was ready for Riku to be his first…and he knew that the mood tonight wouldn't be right after that phonecall.

And he just wanted to cry as things were slowly coming to an end. For once and for all, indeed.


End file.
